MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING SLAUGHTERHOUSE 2024: A HEAVYWEIGHT MATCH ON THE UNDERCARD! (THAT DOESN'T NEED A PUNCHLINE!)

 List of champions -NEW CHAMPION IN CAPS.

World's:Satoshi Kojima

OPENWEIGHT:MATTHEW JUSTICE 

Middleweight:Mistico

Tag:Contra (Minoru Suzuki and Ikuro Kwan)

Featherweight:Janai Kai

(PREVIOUSLY ON MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING)

The League is tatters!

Having Gold or the pencil means you are nothing but a target for heels. Kojima? Flanked by all challengers, from the Rogue Horsemen, to Contra, to even his own friend, Matt Riddle who has a title shot against him.

Mistico? Every Flippy Dipper in a mask from Mexico is seemingly being signed to appear between now and kings of colosseum. 

Even the Brass are not having it easy. As soon as the Kidnapped Cesar Duran was about to reveal his kidnapper's identity, his daughter, Salina Dela Renta's waters broke.

Launched on YouTube on Sunday morning. And filmed as the undercard of Lucha Apocalypto, (yes, seriously, the world title match was not good enough to get on the main show!) This is Slaughterhouse. 

We start as we seemingly always do, with Contra on back, beating up Jobbers. Until Kojima, Okamura and Akira turn up and what do they do? They Fought off! The champion who is a weak champion all things considered is being beaten on until he is saved by his own challenger, Matt Riddle. After the save, Riddle tells Kojima he has signed his contract that he won in Battle Riot. On January the 12th, Kojima Vs Riddle at kings of colosseum. All the while Kojima nods at the words  he understood.

First Bout of the evening, A Tag Team tables match between the Anderson's and the Bombaye Fight Club. No Disqualifications, LAAAAZ....wait the match is elimination style? So they are listening! Mr Thomas was first eliminated by an ambush by BRG, who is chased out by Paul London. Thomas fell into a table by the apron, C W Anderson was Suplexed by Kane through a table, and Alex Kane was given a Spinebuster through a table by Brock Anderson for the Win. Again, MLW are gonna regret doing this to Alex Kane, who may just up and leave for WWE like Zayda did!

Video Package of Matthew Justice hours before title win. He grins at the camera when the Building owner told him not to dive off the balcony. Which was the finish of the match! 

Okamura won over Ikuro Kwan in a obvious fluke win. Ikuro has for years being treated as the Career Job Guy, but come on, he's a Champion now! Give him some respect.

Tom Lawlor's interview with Barbario Carvanario. This was WWF Superstars cartoon stupidity. Out comes Bicarbonate of Soda, in face paint, in full gimmick with a a bag of ribs, which he eats throughout, He Literally Spits out, in Chunks of Chewed meat and Broken English, that he wants Mistico in Dallas.

Kojima eats bread Backstage, speaking of munchies, here's Riddle to remind us he will be facing his friend for the Title at King's of Colosseum. 

Paul London Vs Kenta. This was a strange one. Despite Paul London being a Baby-face, who helped other babyfaces earlier, London was heelish in this match. Whether it was this mostly Lucha crowd, who didn't want to see Paul London do ground wrestling, or he was taken a breather at his age, which the Mexican crowd are conditioned to boo and take as cowardice.I don't know what to tell you. But this match was good. Kenta wins and then The Doomsday Clock counted down. Dijak cames down and took out Kenta, and given what Dijak said about Kenta and Cm punk, it was only a match of time, before this feud was booked.

Dijak squashes Kevin Knight! After the match Tom Lawlor who left ringside to avoid the man who injured him was insulted by Dijak.

Congratulations to Natalia Class (Salina De La Renta) on the birth of her Daughter....who we are supposed to believe is now bought to the shows as a prop. A baby doll in Swaddling cloths starts to cry a recording of crying, which causes Salina to shout at Jesus. Cesar tells us he knows who kidnapped him.... but won't tell the audience. Watch it be Eric Bischoff for no good reason!

Delmi Exo  Squashes a Carmella Cosplayer, followed by Janai Kai assaulting her and cutting off the hair extensions she never wore to this point!

Christian Cole outside medical room waiting for Kenta.

Minuro Sazuki Vs Riddle. Octopus stretch by the "Murder Grandpa" to start with and this was a technical match despite Sazuki's Glaring limitations. Until Sazuki decks Matt Riddle with a right hand and chokes him with the Contra flag. This gives Riddle the second wind.  And he beats Sazuki with the formerly named Bro Derrick, now the Bro stone!

Lawler asks Riddle for first shot if he wins title 

World title match Bobby Fish Vs a now healthy Kojima Who finally getting over his injury, but is now taking on serious challengers, Because up to now he has Put the Belt up against his friends and Jobbers and being protected in Tag matches. Not Counting The time Kruger got himself disqualified with the ref standing one foot away from him, the last time Satoshi Kojima had a serious match was against Tito Escondito...SIX MONTHS AGO!. Kojima Retains Against Bomb Shelter Bobby Fish, And for once Kojima had to work for the win.

Kenta exits medical room, teases Bullet Club. Oh Goodie we get the Dregs of the Cool T-shirt Bros, Now that Kenny and Finn, and Cody and Tama are getting 6 figure salaries in the number one and two companies! Maybe Tony Khan can let Lightswitch White do something with mlw, he ain't doing much in All Elite Wrestling!

And Now our Main Event, The Weapons of mass Destruction match Between Krule and Akira in what maybe the modern day Dusty vs Ole Anderson Feud- Because "It Will Never Be OVAH!" Anyway this is no Wrestling match, this is Garbage in, Garbage out! They were headbutting each other with soldier helmets, using weapons throwing salt into open wounds. Finish was Krule hitting Scorched Earth on Akira but the South African Giant couldn't gloat over his win, as the last thing we see is Akira putting a plastic bag over Krule's masked face!

And that's what this post is...DONE! Next Month on Monday the 9th I will have deferred Results of Eric Bischoff's One shot which will be the last show I will review before the new year and I break for the Holidays, So I will see you then, for the last time in 2024!

MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING LUCHA APOCALYPTO 2024-¿QUIENES SON ESTOS PERSONAS?

 This post was jammy to put out (PAUSE!) Because Last night, which was Sunday, a technical issue, Meant the live recording of this show was not transmitted onto YouTube.

However, good on MLW at least to rectify the problem by stating the show will be on YouTube on Sunday....we just didn't know when, no skin off my nose if it came to drafting reviews on the fly, I've done it before. But if it's completely 24 hours later, it was 3am Monday so this will be 5 hours young by the time I launch this at 10am Irish Time. 

So, here we are finally, mere hours from the second attempt to get this show out. I know accidents happen, but I guess not even winning a TWENTY MILLION DOLLAR COURT CASE AGAINST WWE Means you haven't used that money to get better equipment, not to brag, as it has happened to me, but since it hasn't happened since I started a decade and a half ago, but I get these posts either here or Bogger Box Office, out the day after or weekday after the ple or Special or film review the first working day of the new month, EVERY TIME, ON MY OWN, ON A SMART PHONE OR A INTERNET CAFÉ PC. FOR 15 PLUS YEARS! 

MLW HAS A TEAM OF PRODUCERS AND A PRODUCTION TRUCK.

THERE'S NO EXCUSES!

So here's our show where MLW collabs with CMLL, which asked the Question on top "who are these people?"

Cesar Duran greets the Cicero, Illinois crowd,who sounds like he needs a Strepsil. Tom Lawlor, who is selling being injured is now on commentary with Rob Drombroski.

First match is Ultimo Guerrero who Hotdogged himself During the Entrance of his partner, Hechihero vs Esfinge and the Jet, Kevin Knight. Ultimo Jump started his match by attack Esfinge with his jacket. Hechichero is a lot more technical than he was made to look in AEW, While Ultimo Guerrero stank up the place-Remember if it wasn't for Storm Helene, this Old hack would be facing the other Old Hack The world's champion Kojima, a month ago! So be thankful for small mercies. Finish was Hechichero hitting the Conjuring Spike Shoulder breaker and then tapping out Esfinge with the Gator Roll sleeper choke.

Salina is told Cesar is kidnapped. She orders her family to find her father, while suffering Contractions

Video Package on the rogue Horsemen Vs Bomaye Fight Club.

Second Match of the Night was Rogue Horseman The BRG vs The Suplex Assassin Alex Kane. They are gonna lose Kane, if they keep booking him to Lose in Garbage Matches! Remember last month when he lost that match in His hometown of Atlanta? They were P O'd in Georgia! So Alex Kane was Dominating all match until the Rogue Horsemen chased off the Fight club and attacked Mr Thomas until BRG, Bloodied and previously made to choke on Kane's T-Shirt, hit back with the most Devastating Finish known to man....THE SURPRISE ROLLUP!

Backstage, Mads Kruger issues Akira a challenge at Slaughterhouse, on the 23th, A Weapons Of Mass Destruction Match. Unfortunately, I'll be doing Christmas shopping that following Monday, so the results will up on Tuesday the 26th.

Next was Janai Kai vs Some Masked Girl called Volvo or something, and Some chick dressed like a Stripper in a Biker Bar. 3 WAY MATCH, NO ELIMINATIONS. ONE FALL TO A FINISH, LAAAAAAAAAZY BOOKING! Kai has being champion for a year, but it's not being impressive as you think since NXT and AEW have gutted the Indies, all that's left are these Lucha Wannabes and the Joshi Princesses. After the Match, if you could call it that, Delmi Exo accuses Contra of kidnapping Cesar. She wants a Match with Janai right now, so Kai accepts but it was a trap, But when Delmi fights off a Sendai Death Warrior with a chair, "The Kick Demon" books it!

So I Guess this match is now FALL COUNT ANYWHERE FOR THE OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Sure why not? MORE LAZY BOOKING! So Bad dude Tito and Matthew "Food At Home Seth Rollins" Justice had a fight in the crowd that dragged on, for the honour Justice's Manager Bill Alfonso, so there was a cause and story under all the garbage. Finish was Matthew Justice Recreating the New Jack Balcony dive through a table for 3....Minutes after Justice took Tito's Tequila screwdriver Finish through a different table for 2.

LIST OF CHAMPIONS-UPDATE

• World's: Satoshi Kojima
• OPENWEIGHT-MATTHEW JUSTICE
• Middleweight: Mistico
• tag: Contra (Minoru Sazuki and Ikaru Kwan)
• Featherweight: Janai Kai.

Next was a complete waste of time! Kojima, who will Put his world title belt on the line in the undercard for this show-Slaughterhouse came out for an interview.

Kojima can't speak English-NOT THAT IT MATTERED, because Contra Whailed on Satoshi until #NOMEANSNOBRO Matt Riddle came out a saved him, Sazuki accepted a challenge for the tag belts and called his opponents "Youngboys". They had a good match...until The heels went into Business for themselves and Ruined it with Blatant cheating. The Crowd crapped over the stupidity and i would too!

Next match was Atlantis Snr and jr and Star Jr vs Magnus, Felino and Barbario Cavenario. sorry I Said there names wrong! It's...

"MMMAAAAAG-NOOSE, FEEEEEEELLINO AAAAAAND, BARRRRRRBARRRRIOOOOO CAAAAAVENNNNNNNNARRRRRRIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IIIIIII SOUND LIKE THE FUNNNNNKY PHANTON WHENITALKLIKETHIS! OR SNAGGLEPUSS EVEN!"

So as custom, This match was nothing but Flippies and Dippies. but Felino and Atlantis Senior doing the flippies and dippies at 60 plus each was impressive and the crowd was into it. Felino missed an elbow drop and Atlantis Jr. closed this match on a frog splash.

December 5th- Eric Bischoff' Presents One-shot, that will be the last Special i will do this year. They also revealed the next 2 shows: Kings of Coliseum on the 11th of January and Superfight on February 6th.

Dijak squashed two Azteca Henchmen for an angle got on the Mic and buried the Roster namely Kenta ("HE'S NEVER GOTTEN OVER THERE'S A GUY WHO STOLE HIS FINISH AND DOES IT BETTER THAN HIM") Riddle ("ONLY TIME RIDDLE IS A THREAT IS WHEN THE DISPENSERIE  DOESN'T CARRY HIS STRAND!") And he got into Lawlor's face and Lawlor despite Injuries fought off Dijak.

Tom Lawlor returned to the Booth for the main event. Mistico put his belt on the line against Averno and Titan. First of all Averno looks more like a Balding Plumber than Balding Plumber Moxley, and who ever called his small child in a Obese Uno, of the Dork Odour mask , "TITAN" Has a sick sense of Humour he was billed as 160 pounds-can this guy be 4 ft 11? Anyway you see one Mistico match you seen them all. Mistico uses a la Mistica to take out "Titan" and a second to tap out Plumber Averno! After the match, Mistico is unmasked by Pasta Carbanara or whatever his goofy name is! So Bicarbonate Soda cuts a promo in spanish, which Rob translate as, Mistico vs Barbario Cavenario at Kings of Coliseum next Year in Dallas! 

To finish the show, Telenovella Bullcrap to Write off Salina before her Full Term. They find Cesar tied to a chair and free him. Before Cesar can read the note he finds in his pocket. Salina's water breaks. and that's really how they end this show! 

Join me Next month for the last show of the year-MLW: ERIC BISCHOFF'S ONESHOT!