This weekend, Wrestlemania returns to Las Vegas-Whether you can afford tickets or not! And I Will be honest with you all, I am not looking forward to these show at all, will there be some matches to look forward to? Yes! absolutely! but it will be swallowed up by a sea of dross. This year i'm doing this a little differently, wwe has confirmed what matches will open and are on for free on THE REALLY REAL SPORTZ! Network and what the main events are. so everything between the ESPN MATCHES AND BOTH WORLD TITLES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!
CONFIRMED MATCHES FOR NIGHT 1 ONLY THE ESPN TAPING AND MAIN EVENTS HAVE BEING CONFIRMED
A WORTHLESS BELT FOR A WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING!
L***N P**L, AUSTIN THEORY AND THE SHIRTLESS CRETIN WHO LAUGHS AT HOMELESS PEOPLE VS THE USOS AND LA KNIGHT (ESPN 2 HOUR SIMULCAST)
iPullMyMeat walking around Peru like
I wonder what the ESPN Faithful will make of this opening match. that you have sit them down and tell them yes, the Prime Guy is fighting the Slim Jim Guy, and the Slim Jim Guy's partner used to be the main eventer of this show just one year ago.
Money on: iScreamLikeAGirl to eat the pin, so L***n can f**k off for 3 months to steal Pokemon cards!
UNSANCTIONED MATCH JACOB FATU VS DREW MCINTYRE (ESPN 2 HOUR SIMULCAST)
Now this will be a match the world can enjoy. For Months the Scottish Psychopath has being on the case of The Samoan Werewolf and his documented past as a convicted criminal. And so Nick Aldis has made the match no dq and Unsantioned. anything goes!
Money on: Clearly the finish has to involve Drew being handcuffed and beaten til he passes out. It'll be poetic Justice!
WOMEN'S FOURWAY LAZY BOOKING FOR THE WOMEN'S TAG CHAMPIONSHIP CHARLOTTE/ALEXA VS BAYLEY/LYRA VS THE BELLA SK*NKS VS LASH LEGEND AND THE ANNOYING POTATO, NYEH NYEH NIA JAX (C)
We have our first "Get everyone in here" match, Of the Event. Watch this be clusterschmaltz where one of the face teams turn heel and the champions get the pin after they do all the heavy lifting as this is Four Team. No Elimination. One Fall to a finish. LAAAAZZZY BOOKING!
ROLLINS VS GUNTHER
Despite injuries ruining Seth Rollins Plans of revenge, we have a nice setup going between Rollins and Gunther. This will Steal the show!
Money on: TOO CLOSE TO CALL! But I Would have to imagine Gunther vs Punk is what we are angling for this summer!
WWE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP STEPHANIE VAQUER (C) VS LIV MORGAN
After that nasty goose-egg Liv got from Stephanie, I'm pretty certain all the goodwill has shifted towards the heel, Morgan!
Money on: Morgan
WOMEN'S INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP AJ LEE (C) VS BECKY LYNCH
You gotta love that despite everyone knows whose married to who these days that it doesn't affect the alignment of who is heel or face! And Becky is as Heel AF! It was great to see AJ Lee win a title after 10 years, and to be at mania without being a footnote to the shortest match at mania, but Unless Vaquer Retains, I don't see AJ Following suit.
Money on: Lynch!
UNDISPUTED WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP CODY RHODES (C) VS RANDY ORTON W/ PAT MAGAfee (IF ORTON LOSES, MACAFEE LEAVES WWE!....
WHICH MEANS OFF COURSE ORTON IS WINNING!
Night two CONFIRMED matches HOSTED BY JOHN CENA
John Cena will no doubt be joined by R-turd, Danhausen and will probably AA Kit Wilson and/or The Miz!
OBA FEMI VS BROCK LESNER (ESPN SIMULCAST)
Your confirmed Opener for Night two and It's the match that will either make or Break The Ruler. After hard-hitting tussles and Fiery promos for months. This match will be intense, but in the end, the crowd has already made Oba into the Star that will lead wwe into the next 10 years!
DIRTY DOM VS FINN BALOR
The Judgement day has turned on one of it's original members. After Months of doubting Dom and frustration. Dom finally snapped and he lead an ambush to Finn. However it's wrestlemania season, and that means "The Demon" Balor is to make an appearance!
Money on: To Balance out the fact a lot of heels may win, I'll say Balor.
6 MAN LADDER MATCH FOR THE IC CHAMPIONSHIP PENTA (C) VS DRAGON LEE VS J'VON EVANS VS REY MYSTERIO VS RUSEV VS JD MCDONAGH
GET EVERYONE IN HERE! BUT DON'T SHOW THIS MATCH TO MAGAFEE, HE'LL HAVE A CONIPTION!
WWE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP RHEA RIPLEY VS JADE CARGILL (C)
They kept this simple, Jade is the champion, But Rhea is more experienced and she is not buying what Jade is selling.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP SAMI ZAYN VS TRICK WILLIAMS
So who is the Heel?
Is it the guy with the Obnoxious Rapper Second, who uses heel tactics? Or is it the Muslim guy who is being booed because they are running Republican states every week?
I Fear a Double Turn, and Sami Dressing like a terrorist again!
Which will be in bad taste!
WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP ROMAN REIGNS VS CM PUNK (C)
And Finally!
The confirmed Main Event of the evening, The tribal Chief versus the Best in the World. A match built on world class promos alone! But the time for talk is over, who can back up what they are saying, And will Punk's comments on TKO and Pat McAffee Paint a target on his back?
MONEY ON: I assume McAffee will face Punk at Backlash, whether for the title or not is up for debate, I Think Punk retains as Orton will Win! Yeah that tracks. Punk retains. Mcaffee has a blowout loss at Backlash. Gunther and Punk sell out arenas all summer long!
Results of this show will appear on Monday Morning at sometime after 9am-GMT PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO IT AND BE PATIENT AS BOTH NIGHTS WILL BE REVIEWED IN ONE POST!
If you would like to follow me on Twitter Do so @RealEnli
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