The Following was written on Sunday 6:30am. 3 hours after the show was over.
For the second year in a row, wwe is in Las Vegas, and the last time you'll see me post a Wrestlemania til 2028!
Night One-Can I go first? I have places to be, Cheese To Poison, Children's Cards To steal .
Who was the guy who did the intro this year? I thought he was Fatone the Fat One from Nsync!
Here is our host for this event, none other than the 17 time Champion-AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!
John does some happy talk but he does acknowledge that WWE has being as he quotes Michael Cole, "Polarized" in the media. However, they are here to put on the best Wrestling show they can.
F**K THIS OPENING MATCH! As stated in my predictions post. The first match was the Usos & LA Knight vs Austin Theory, L***n P**l and the Shirtless, screaming moron who laughs at homeless people! So iShowSpeed can do flips, great! Go to AEW! You can fit with all the trampoline cowboys! La Knight got the win, for his troubles being the supervisor of this Romper Room! And after the match, P**l turned on Speed, but in the end. P**l was sent through a table, because we won't see the scumbag til he needs to put the tag belt up. He'll be too busy stealing Pokemon cards from children.
Previews of Netflix Hulk Hogan documentary all night. They at least acknowledge that Hulk was a habitual liar.
In attendance, Some NFL guys, Some NBA guy, Some ESPN REALLY REAL SPORTZ GUY (Who was Booed loudly and rightly so!)
I didn't write any notes for the unsanctioned match as it was a Brawl. But if Fatu had to prove the WWE has not made his soft, him coming out in his Contra gear would give him the edge against Drew McIntyre. This was not a Wrestling match this was a straight brawl, but still a good watch. Fatu won with a now called "Mighty Moonsault" through a table. Not the finish I predicted but the result I predicted.
Fourway LAZY BOOKING MATCH! Nikki Bella is apparently Injured, so she reveals a mystery replacement...and Paige has returned. Noone wanted the Bellas to win the women's tag belts, but, A surprise return winning the tag belt, well, noone would dare boo that! Alexa/Charlotte, Bayley/Lyra and Nia/Lash also ran.
In attendance The Maga Scumedian, Tony C*NTcliffe, and a Giant Cone!
Becky Lynch won the Women's Intercontinental Championship from AJ Lee, taking advantage of Her Fued with Head Female Referee, Jessica Carr. Lynch threw Carr into Lee, to distract from uncovering an exposed turnbuckle.
Match of the night, Gunther vs Seth Rollins. From the Jump, Gunther powerbombs Rollins Twice on the outside. Rollins retaliates by clawing Gunther eyes and throwing audience's chairs at Gunther's head. The Bell Rings and away we go!
Sleeper on Rollins, Into a German Suplex, Rollins lands on his feet, Kerb Stomp into a Clothesline, Shotgun Chop to Rollins. It's all Blunt Force and heavy Blows from the Austrian. Mounted Punches countered into the Dreaded Bucklebomb. The Pedigree countered into back drop, a Second into a Jack knife, into a roll up, Stomp only gets 2. Gunther gets a sleeper In the middle of the ring, Seth Recovers. Discus Clothesline but Gunther with a Lariat of his own. Superplex Falcon arrow into Rollins own sleeper. But we have a foot on the rope and a powder to the outside. Suicide Dive. And Seth is setting up the Stomp on the announcement table, but Bron Brekker comes out to spear Rollins. Sleeper by Gunther. And it's over. Next stop: World Title Shot.
Hall of Fame Inductions. Andre vs Hogan iconic moment.
Dennis Rodman celebrity wing
Former Tag Champions Demolition.
Families of Sid Vicious and Bad news Brown. There were Legacy Inductions, so The Basketball guy gets a speech, But Sid, an actual world's Champion, (Talent and Skill is not a factor, Sid was a world champion for 2 companies, and Rodman was a Belt Holder For Hack Hogan!) had his name mentioned once.
AJ Styles Former World Champion
and Stephanie McMachon to Edited out Boos.
After that Sleazy entrance, Liv Morgan had lost her first name privilege, she is Back as The Chicken Waitress. She probably did that dance for extra tips when she Worked For Hooters! This was not a good match! This was a trashy Catfight -The Only thing missing was a Kiddie Pool full of Chocolate pudding. But Goodwill is Goodwill and Morgan deserved her receipt. The Chicken Waitress is the Raw women's champion.
John Cena announces 50,800 plus attendance. Take that with a grain of salt. Then Bianca Belair came out in a voluminous Jacket that flowed to her feet, and trailed behind her. The moment I saw that outfit I knew Bianca was going to announce a pregnancy. Congratulations to her and her husband, Montez Ford.
No boos for SaudiMania announcement, only because we can't do anything about it if the crowd did boo.
To loud cheers after non stop booing, Pat MAGAfee was taken out and put on a stretcher. Throughout the match, between Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes for the Undisputed World's championship, Orton was selling his back. Which Cody would exploit. After Charles Robinson took a ref bump, out Comes MacAfee in a referee shirt and neck brace. Orton turns on McAffee! Cody takes advantage of this shocking turn of events, Rhodes retains. But Cody has no time to celebrate when Orton punts Cody. If you thought this was a Face turn-WRONG! THIS WAS DAMAGE CONTROL!
Night Two-Perhaps We Judged You Too Harshly.
(The Following was written Today just now on Monday morning 7 hours after Wrestlemania ended.)
After John Cena reintroduced as the host. It was time for Brock Lesner vs Oba Femi. This match didn't go long. It didn't need to. Booking powerhouses means you can only have so much someone as big can do. Props for Oba for Selling the effects of the F5. He got up after it, yes, but he Stumbled to do so. Very nice touch. Brock turned into The Nigerian's Fall From Grace Powerbomb and Was Pinned. WWE has Stumbled on one of the stars They can put the company on their backs for the next 10 plus years. Brock then removed this gloves and his boots to signal his retirement. And I think this one is for real, not only because Brock Cried, and Paul Heyman Cried, but because Brock didn't flip off the fans!
6 man Intercontinental Championship Ladder match. So It has come to this, Huh? Jobber Entrances at wrestlemania, which use to be the Everyone get in here show, Don't Show this match to Pat MAGAFee! Not because of the 5 ft Wrestlers, but because of all the Ethnicities and Immigrants! This Felt like an Aew Match!
Sami Zayn vs Trick Williams for the US Championship, And Crap! Sami is full on heel. The Triple H "Book a Heel Sami Zayn, without Making him a Terrorist like Dear ole Dad" challenge-Difficulty: IMPOSSIBLE! Starts now! Sami attacked Yatchy on the outside, Despite Being an Obnoxious Turd, He did nothing to get jumped. Good match Sami Nearly hit the ref with the helluva Kick, but Trick used his own Trick Shot Kick to retain the title as a crestfallen Sami looked on considering what to do next!
Dirty Dom had a great entrance being paraded as a King of Lucha by Security Jobbers in Masks. Even Dom's Gear was great as he Took off an El Santo Mask and looked at it with distain. vs The Demon King Finn Balor. Finn in a Skirt is back after 3 years!
This is where Both Me watching this show in the early hours this Morning and the show in general started to wear me down. Finn Balor as I Said before, the longer wwe has him, the less he values wwe. I would have booked Dom to beat Finn, But the Demon is a draw as it rarely happens.
Rhea Ripley Predictably got the women's belt back from Jade Cargill in a Ploddingly Paced Boring ordeal of a Match. I couldn't take my eyes on the Club WWE Money Mark. Apparently if you are a Member on it's most expensive plan, You can call a match with the Michael cole and Wade Barrett. This Schlub A CRYPTO MILLIONAIRE Named Adam Weitsman, so A FAKE FAN WITH FAKE MONEY! Said nothing the Whole time!
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| Thanks to the appropriately Named Awful Announcing Website for having the only clean image of The Human Paid for Blue Check On Twitter! |
John Cena returned to read the attendance Record. And I predicted this would happen, Though I also thought R-Truth would be here also! The Miz and Kit Wilson Confronted Cena When Danhausen and eight Midgets came out to make the save. Danhausen Cursed the Heels and Kit was Mugged by Midgets. Danhausen cursed the miz and Cena AA'ed Miz, then Danhausen low blowed Miz and hit the 5 knuckle Cursed ShuffleHausen! Then Danhausen coughed at his own failed smokebomb and ran off to end the segment, Actally Cena ended it by bringing down the mood, But a Promise is a Promise-This was always going to be John Cena's Last Wrestlemania and he's going to leave the ring to go to the back-because he does not want to miss- OUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!
Roman Reigns Vs CM Punk Was Magical, This show I had no hope for, I was expecting full TKO/ENDEVOUR/ESPN CORPORATE GOON SQAUD HANDS ALL OVER THIS SHOW. For the Americans I Heard there were too much ads, For European Netflix it's not not too bad, they countdown the break ad free 3 minutes before the next segment. But the Main Event between Roman and Punk was amazing not only for What they did, But Better for what they Didn't Do. They Did Something in this match Most People didn't even notice that Made this match better-Did you Notice what it was?
THEY WROTE THIS MATCH WITH NO INTERFERENCE AND RUN INS!
And that was a great call, No Usos helping Roman, No Gunther Run in, No Pat to Announce the Rock. Just Two men out to prove each other who is the best. And it worked. Finish was A tired Roman running the Ropes to even build up enough momentum to Spear Punk. After the match, Reigns celebrated with his family and children at ringside! And that Closes the book on Wrestlemania for now, see you in 2028!
But The Door is not closed on this site!
Join me tomorrow when I reveal the Summer Schedule!
