 |
| "HEY AURO-UH! THIS IS A GREAT WORKOUT BUT I'M A LITTLE THRISTY-UH! LET ME CHECK THE REFRIGERAT-UH1 |
CHOCOLATE-UH!
SUNNY (ST)D!
OH WAIT!
 |
| PURPLE STUFF-UH! |
1st to the preshow match. Matt Hardy is now King Of the Jobbers after being helped by a Woken Bray Wyatt!
Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali was next. and it ended with noone turning heel. It was a good match with Mustafa coming out in a Daft punk/Sub zero ring gear. Why was this on the pre-show? considering that they built an entire tourney to get here, and also how they ended with the 2 matches the way they did, you couldn't put the Stunt Braun Pulled on the pre-show? NO, SHAME ON YOU, WWE CREATIVE, JUST BECAUSE YOU WON'T GIVE INTERNATIONAL TV RIGHTS ON 205 AND NXT SO PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO BUY YOUR OVERPRICED NETWORK! SHAME ON YOU!
And Naomi won the Vagina Trophy, to appease her toxic fanbase!
1st match was for the Toilet Break ChampionSHIT!
And do you know what i really didn't want to see?
And do you know what i really didn't want to see?
#REALLYBADGRAPHICS.....IN 333333333333333333DDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
So Balor had a cheering section of LGBT People in his entrance against Seth Rollins and GOBSHITE FROM MTV! Actual when Miz did that Top rope Super SKULL CRUSHING FINALE! Made me change my view on Miz, so Congrats Miz you have Upgraded from "RABID HATRED" To "SILENT INDIFFERENCE!" Seth Rollins won in this tight, nicely worked, opener!
Next was the Smackdown women's championship! Charlotte had a Triple H wm30 entrance but Gender-flipped of course vs the Undefeated Asuka! It was a great match too, though the ending came out of left field. Charlotte was Bleeding from her arm so she couldn't latch on the figure 8 properly... BUT ASUKA STILL TAPPED! Charlotte and Asuka's little moment to celebrate was Ruined by John Cena, who was at ringside jumping the turnbuckle when a ref told him undertaker was here in New Orleans.
JOHN CENA: EQUAL OPPORTUNITY BURYER!
JOBBER IN MY BINGO HALL is US CHAMPION OVER PINNING RUSEV, AND BEATING ORTON AND ROODE....FOR NO GODDAHM REASON! IF THE PAYOFF IS NOT A FULL FACE TURN FOR RUSEV AND A NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH AT BACKLASH, THEN WWE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
In a match that was actually better than I could ever hope, Ronda Rousey in her wwe debut shut all the mouths of those so-called "LEGITIMATE SPORTS!" ESPN Wankers, in a match with great back-and forth, fantastic action, Storytelling and More important than that, Psychology!
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHI-AND IT WAS OVER! THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS ARE YOUR NEW CHAMPIONS OVER THE BOO-SUCKS! THE NEW DAY ALSO RAN!
WWE did a double Troll-Job on Cena, Elias came out, sang a song, and Cena buries Elias (Remember it was rumoured that Elias was going to be Cena's opponent for tonight) but out came Undertaker and it was fine, Taker taking over early and Cena never got out of the blocks!
THE UNDERTAKER: BURYING PEOPLE BEFORE JOHN CENA WAS EVER BORN!
Kudos to Shane MacMahon for taking all those Gut shots from Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, Despite having Diverticulitis. Daniel Bryan was laid out and strapped to a gurney but returned to even the score, not the heroic return i expected, but at least I'm thankful for Bryan being back, which is a miracle in itself!
A lot of people made fun of Nia Jax new Translucent brown jumpsuit, But you know what? I like it i Didn't know that Nia had a nice set of Legs on her! Nia won the wwe raw women's championship from Alexa Bliss!
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP WAS NEXT in a captivating match against Aj Styles vs Nakamura. People say there Match at Wreste Kingdom was better, i NEVER SEEN IT, But if this match was considered SUB-PAR! compared to this match last night, I should check it out! Finish was Styles countering the Kinshasa Into the Styles Clash! After the match, Shocker of the night, as Nakamura cheap-shot AJ and turned heel, giving us all the warm and happy feels of "WHAT IF IT'S DANIEL BRYAN VS NAKAMURA AT SUMMERSLAM?"
And then this show then went to Hell....Remember In my 1st Predictions Post i did, where i said That one of the Scenarios I envisioned was Braun getting an floater to keep his title shot?...Well i was right, But I didn't expect what happened next was a possibility... BRAUN CHOOSE A CHILD FROM THE AUDIENCE, AND DID ALL THE WORK! Granted I heard he was A Make-A-wish kid and wwe do great stuff for kids who are terminally Ill, but SERIOUSLY! THIS IS SOME AWA ON LIFE-SUPPORT STEVE CORRINO MAKING HIS KID WIN A TITLE AT 12 KIND OF BULLSHIT!
AND NOW FOR THE ABORTION THAT WAS THE MAIN EVENT!
DAYS WITHOUT A DAY TO DAY CHAMPION ON RAW:368!
Brock Lesner cannot walk into the ring without getting Blown up, 3 minutes in and he's out of Breath, 4 minutes in he is sweating like a Pedophile in a Barney Costume! 5 minutes in his face his as Purple as the Wrestlemania logo, as the crowd chant "Boring" and "CM PUNK" And "Bring Back Beachballs!" Roman Blades himself so badly that he the match is stop long enough for Brock to have a rest spot and Finish Roman, FUCK THAT SHIT VINCE FOR MAKING US CARE ABOUT ROMAN!
WELL THAT'S IT!
After my review of the DRAFT and IMPACT REDEMPION (When it happens) I will reveal my Summer Schedule...AND IF YOU THOUGHT WRESTLEMANIA WAS DOG-ROUGH, TRY SCHEDULING TNA PPVS WHEN NOONE CAN TELL YOU NOTHING!
BUT WE WILL KICK THAT HORNETS NEST WHEN WE GET TO IT!
PEACE!
EAMONN
AKA
ENLI
