TAROTOBER PART 9- THE TOWER AND THE STAR

 As The Devil stands over the Hermit, Despite His Terrifying Presence, Our hero stands firm, However the Lord Of Darkness has A Demonstration of his Power and Cruelty!

 

With A point of his Finger! A Tower is Struck By Lightning, that Catches fire! As it's inhabitants fall to their deaths, This Tower, which stood for decades, That it's Inhabitants possibly put too much faith that it would never be Destroyed, only to die of their Hubris.

Designated 16 and Ruled by the Aggressive Nature that is the Planet Mars, The Tower means Hubris, Worn down Archaic Values and The Liberation from Said, and Overconfidence, if predicting the Future, an event is coming that will break you down, but you will overcome it, even if it means you are a little more Humble after it!

The Tower card does not denote a single person, but Persona and Street Fighter Did it Anyway!

Dusting themselves off, are Mutatsu, The Drunk Monk, Shu Nakajima, The Coddled Child Prodigy, Shinya Oda, the King of Gunabout, and Balrog, The Crazy Buffalo.

ROUND 1: INSPIRATION

Mutatsu

 

Before being Rudely interrupted by Uncouth Children in the mall, Yuko (See Tarotober Part 5) was telling you of Something Strange she saw in this Building. On a Night out in Escapades Nightclub, Some punks Got in the face of a Buddhist monk. But this monk was not the Forgiving kind, no instead the Monk kicked Their asses. So you go to investigate The Escapades Nightclub, on your next night out.

Going to the Upstairs Lounge Sitting by himself is odd sight of a Buddhist Monk, A Symbol of Spiritual Refinement and Material Detachment, Smoking Cigars and Drinking Brandy in a Nightclub.

He sees you Staring at him and tells you to beat it, However, His glass is empty and needs you to order him a drink. 

You are Underage.

But the Bar-man Doesn't want the monk to rip the walls so he'll make the monk pay for a round for all his customers.

One Frustrating Mini-Game later, and the Monk has his drink, but still tells you to Scram, Until you see him again. He's impressed by your Moxie, So he'll talk to you, and if the Barman complains, tell him you are The monk's Nephew. So he gives you some life advice, but it's all Spiked with Defeatism. Turns out Mutatsu was Sick of a Nine to five where the little he earned went to a Son constantly looking for money. When he gets drunk one Night and mistakes Minato for his son. When he sobers up, he decides to  hire a private eye to find his family.

Turns out they are still in Tokyo and now run a restaurant, With His Son now married with a baby on the way. Learning that he Hopes, For the sake of his ailing health, They can Forgive him and move into the Temple With him.

Mutatsu is the worn Values Aspect of the Tower, Completely inverting All of the Buddhist Tropes, Taking up the the life of  a Holy man solely for Selfish needs. But he didn't factor that a Clergyman has to perform prayers for the dead seemingly every day. He changes his tune in his son asking for money especially with his First Grandchild on the way .

Mutatsu gets a point.

Shu Nakajima

Now to Round off the Social links you can obtain via After-school jobs. We covered being Diligent to work in a Haunted Hospital, Understanding to be a Kindergarten teacher, but now a job that requires level 5 Understanding-to work as a Tutor of a Homeschooled Teenager.

After Meeting his Mother and she sings his praises, much to his embarrassment, She explains that while Shu still attends school as required, Shu is Special, A Genius. However the 6th Class Curriculum does not included Advanced Maths and English and he can't pass without the Gym requirement, your job is not a secure one, if Shu feels you are not teaching him properly, he will tell his mother to fire you. As days go on you learn Shu has feelings of jealousy and the Hatred of an Exchange Student Stealing His Thunder, The Weight of Expectation put on him is giving his enough anxiety to give him sleepless nights 

On the night of the Rank 9 Event, it's Shu's Birthday, Only he is at home, At First you are led to believe that his mother forgot, so you call Yosuke to Deliver a Cake from Junes. Soon, the Rest of the investigation team throws a part for Shu. When he makes his wish, he reveals it to be "To Never have Been Born"! To which the Investigation team call Shu "Stupid" for even thinking that!

The Next time you Meet Shu he reveals his mother didn't forget, his birthday was the same day of an exam and he cheated. And his Mother punished him after he was Suspended From school. When he returned to school he apologized for his Haughty and Arrogant Behavior. And though his jeers towards him was now well deserved, he does get the Forgiveness of the Exchange Student, Who's only crime was not being able to speak Japanese.

So now,  with Yu's services no longer Required, Shu thanks Him for all he has done as a tutor. However he learns that there some things you can't learn in any Textbook!

From Here on in, All the Other Tower Representatives Focus Solely on the Aspect of Hubris. As the Coddled Child Prodigy, Shu has it in Spades. But it's not Entirely his fault, or his mother's. Shu's mother is a single parent, So what better way to shove all the doubt of her parenting Abilities than claim her son is a Genius and have him look after her with a high paying salary job. This pressure had resulted in doing what he did. He Does earn Forgiveness which is more Than the ambiguous ending from Persona 3's Tower,  Which is one better than Mutatsu at least.

Shu gets a point!

Shinya Oda

"For his Neutral Special, Joker Wields A Gun."

We are aware of the meme now, but prior to Persona 5, where every character has a gun on their person, a gun was Nothing more a Weapon wielded as an extension of their Character. 

But in Persona 5, The gun is more important than a Secondary Sidearm, Certain Enemies can only be weakened by Gunfire and of Course, Joker saves all of Humanity, By Shooting A God in the face!

But to unlock the art of Gun, Joker had to go out of his way off his main mission.

One day, the Phantom Thieves take a request to change the heart of a Salaryman who had being fleecing children by beating them in an arcade Shooter called Gunabout! When confronted on Mementos, the fat pathetic Salaryman, who is not great at anything except cheating at games. So he transforms into a shadow called Ose!

 

Get it?  Because he's a Cheetah!

No matter how much you attack Ose, None of your Strikes land, So retreating, Morgana surmises that maybe there is a Expert for this game that even the Cheater can't beat with his Chicanery!

So you go the Arcade, and you see a crowd Surrounding the very game the Target is Cheating at. Making your way through the rabble, Joker Sees a young boy Dual Wielding clearing a Game with no trouble.

 

Joker asks the Boy, Shinya Oda, aka King to help him take down the Cheater, he's Reluctant, but then you mention the Phantom Thieves and his eyes lit up. You let him in on a Secret-He'll be helping the Phantom Thieves. He doesn't believe you until you ask Futaba to hack the Gunabout website. Convinced, Shinya teaches you a Trick not even the Cheater Knows and because of his Cognition of him not losing to a technique he's seen he's easily beaten by this new move!

You can visit him again for other moves. You learn that Shinya has a lot of Baggage. He Fleeces other kids money, only for him to publicly lose to a pro gamer called Takekuma, Who may also be a Cheater, And his Mother is  complete Psychological mess. In fact he is conning kids out of lunch money is because he want his mother to get some help. But after she staggers out of a pub and Accuses you of been a bad influence, after he tries to intervene in her life after she is caught shoplifting.

So Shinya asks if the Phantom Thieves change her heart. So Mrs Oda's shadow is found on Mementos and defeated. Shinya invites the children he Conned to ask for their forgiveness. He can't give that money back, but He asks for pity all the same. The older brothers get angry, but the youngest, the Actual victim, wants The King to teach him how to play Gunabout, they are about to play, until Takekuma returns to give Shinya a rematch. A rematch he wins despite Takekuma's Secret Armour Cheat, which Oda uses his namesake Oda Special to counteract the underhanded tactic in front of Everyone.

Once Again There are Hints of the Hubris Aspect. But it seems Shinya was Stuck in 2 vicious Circles. He preyed and scammed Weaker players and he in turn was Scammed by a bigger Cheat. And the Vicious cycle of his Mother's Behavior. Asking for help is also the Liberation Aspect as his Mother's Values have being worn Down to her been Stand-offish for no good reason. Shinya gets a Point.

Balrog

 

 

We've all being there before Playing the Vanilla Street Fighter 2, the World Warrior, You defeated the 7 other Characters, You feel good that you bet the game, only for the Select Screen to Unlock 4 unplayable boss for you to fight with the Announcement of the next Location being USA

And if you were not already Shellshocked, The fight with Balrog probably Decimated your Pick.

All for a Paycheck.

Growing up Poor, Balrog's Father noticed his son had a talent for Boxing. So His father saved enough to get his son some Gloves, training every day with his Dad, eventually the Balrogs were invited to compete at a Junior Boxing Competition. When Balrog entered the Ring, he threw the rulebook away and Destroyed the other Child til he was disqualified.

This Brutish behavior would last all of Balrog's Life and Career and though Becoming World's champion finally meant he could put Poverty Behind him, He had developed a Gambling Addiction.

Once Balrog's Lust for Money and Women got the Better of him, he lost the belt. But when he earned his title match. He Headbutted his opponent in the Opening minute of Round 1 to death!

When Balrog resurfaced in the Public Eye, he is now as one of the Bodyguards for The Criminal Boss, M.Bison.

As 1 of the 4 Kings of Shadaloo, Balrog is the 4th Tier Acting as an Underboss doing more Menial Tasks like Roughing up Dojos, Bank Robberies, Protection Rackets or just Acts of Intimidation, Like when he Killed one of Dhalsim's Elephants with only one punch, when the yogi demolished Shadaloo's Damn. (See Tarotober Part 1 for more Information) 

But Old Habits Die Hard. Balrog Continued to Chase the Dollar, even betting on himself to win his Boss' Tournament. However that Hustle Ended when Ryu faced The Boxer. Despite Hitting Ryu with his strongest Punch, Balrog assumed that Ryu was knocked out cold. Celebrating his victory too early and preening to the Las Vegas crowd, Ryu had Snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

In the Alpha Series Balrog was tasked with his Underboss duties, such as attempting to kill Gen, and executing Former Shadaloo Underling Birdie After he attempted to steal the Psycho Drive, The Regeneration Pod made replacement Bodies for Bison. and though in Balrog's ending in Alpha he accidentally destroys the Psycho Drive before he could sell it for Money. What really happened is Birdie tried to Snatch it and had his Strength Removed and Absorbed into The Dictator. And yes that's why Birdie is now a fat Slob in street fighter 5, as over-eating has replenished his power, but it's now a crutch.

When Bison's Body was Destroyed by Ryu. and his Base Destroyed by Charlie's Sacrifice, Shadaloo had no real leadership. So Balrog made himself Treasurer of Shadaloo's great wealth...and gambled all of it! Because of the lack of Leadership, Shadaloo's Intelligence Network (S.I.N) Splintered under the vision of their Cloned Boss, Seth, the Host of this new Tournament. Bison had sent a communication to his generals to be at this tournament, though noone had seen Bison yet.

Ryu Defeated A Revitalized  M. Bison and Destroyed Seth's to win the Tournament, As the Crumbling Laboratory was going to explode,  Bison told his men to fall back.

All But Balrog, Who, for his failures, was now looking for a Bargaining Chip to save his ass. Finding Something Valuable indeed. 

 

We covered Ed in Part 6, But in case you missed it, Balrog Rescued a Clone of Bison, and Raised it in Secret, training it in Boxing, Even with the Boy having accelerated growth, the boy acted like any other child that had a father figure to raise it. However Ed turned on Balrog as the Realization that one day, Bison will use his Body and  his Identity would be lost forever,  The Two fought each other, with the young man winning. After the fight, Ed reached out to his Caretaker, But Avoiding showing him real tears, Balrog told him to leave.

 

While Ed was out in the World finding himself, Balrog Continued his plan to betray Shadaloo to give Urien of the Illuminati the Blueprints for Operation C.HA.I.N.S. Aka the Black Sun Satellite Weapon, However the Weapon was Destroyed Easily thanks to the Combined Efforts of the World Warriors, their friends and Governments so the Illuminati had no need for a Weapon So Readily Defeated. They were However more Interested in that boy that was Balrog, the one who Threatened Urien with Psycho Power!

Balrog may not appear in Street Fighter 6, because of a Story Reason. As you know the Timeline for Streetfighter goes like this 

(1=Alpha-2-4-5-3-6) we are told in Street Fighter 3 Secret Files, that Balrog entered a Vale Tudo  Tournament and Alex, broke the arm of the Crazy Buffalo. That or he could just be plain on the run from the law!

Balrog is pure Hubris Aspect, from a Fighting Style that is over reliant on Power, to a Gambling Addiction, No Success Balrog ever had never became anything more than a Short Term gain, Even the only person who didn't see him as a pig-headed thug, turned on him in the end, But like every Gambler Who has caught wind of a sure thing, this Boxer Doesn't go Down without a Fight!

All Contestants get a point

Mutatsu-1

Shu-1

Shinya-1

Balrog-1

ROUND 2-PERKS

Mutatsu can Only Appear when you get the  Strength Social Link up to Rank 4. You need Level 4 Courage and to  complete a Mini-Game  to get him his Brandy. He Drinks from Thursday from Sunday in the Evening, but from Monday to Wednesday, Escapades Nightclub is opened up for Minato to gain Courage by singing Karaoke. AND WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT! THE VERY STAT YOU NEED TO COMPLETE THIS LINK! You gain a Reserve Tag of Mutatsu's Favourite brand of Booze as Proof of being able to Fuse For Chi You.

You need Level 5 Understanding to Tutor Shu. Don't worry this is the Job you need to increase your Academics Stat. And it pays Well, gaining ¥80,000 in total. You also get to choose what to teach, so use this to increase your own Lagging Attributes

• Maths or English to increase Knowledge and Expression. Or~
• PE, to Increase Knowledge, Expression and Diligence.

You also gain Courage point for scolding him (if you choose it) and another for changing a Conversation. You gain the Test Results that will also you to Fuse for Shiva.

Shinya can only be Befriended if you take the Optional Request "Winners Don't Use Cheats!" You learn new moves including Down Shot. Which uses your whole Salvo to down an Enemy rather than leave it to chance, Which can be Upgraded to Cheap Shot. Bullet Hail which let's your party start a round blasting like a John Woo film. ( This can be Upgraded Further into Electric Slug). Warning shot, which makes Enemies beg for their lives. Ammo Pouch to increase your bullets and the Oda Special the move that ignores Resistance and Defences.

Hanging out with a Troubled kid and giving him Real Attention increases Your Kindness Attribute 9 times, But you must take his request to change his mother's heart to Max out his link. In the Arcade you can play the Claw hammer for Persona themed gifts to decorate your bedsit or Gift to your friends. Shinja's Token is the Gun Controller used to Fuse for Mada. But once again, this is optional.

Canonically,  Ryu has fought Balrog Before, he had to to win the second tournament. With the exception of Sagat and Falke, He doesn't feel the same Mercy for Balrog who has flip flopped working for the Drug Baron and Human Traffickers to the Religious Zealots. Balrog in Street fighter IV scoffs at the whole idea of Ryu shunning Material gains! After all like Balrog said, when Bison returned, he doesn't fight for free!

Mutastu-2

Shu-2

Shinya-2

Balrog-2

ROUND 3 INFLUENCE ON THE HERO AND HIS WORLD

To save time, Mutastu and Mamaru don't contribute anything big to the Story at large.

Shu if his story is completed, only adds his Thoughts on Yu, during the Cinematic final turn against Izanami.

Similarly, and again to save time, Both Shinja and Hifumi add their cheers to Joker's Cinematic Final turn against Yaldabaoth.

Balrog surprisingly has evolved his style and gameplay. A good Balrog player has more tools possible to contend with Shotos like Ryu.

Mutastu-2

Shu-2

Shinya-2

Balrog-3

THE STAR

The Star is the 18th card, Designated 17 and ruled by the Zodiac sign Aquarius.

 

The Sun Is Setting as the Hermit, Frightened on the last day of his life by the horrific attack by the Devil. Rattled, he Sees a Star peeking through the Darkening Sky, Calming himself briefly, he wishes for the Strength to face his fears head on. So he had a vision of a Naked Maiden Hunkered next to a river, in her hands are two large pitchers, which she spills one back into the river, and another onto the grassy bank besides.

Despite The Somewhat Abstract Visuals, The premise is the Main Aspect of this card-Aspiration. The Idea of Wishing on stars is not as Modern as a concept as People think. As is calling Talented People Stars. The Pitchers of waters are Symbolic of Human Effort, Finite yet Boundless, the Pitcher of The water returning to the river, will it flow from it's Source and be part of the wider world by making it to the Ocean, or will it be lost like a teardrop in the Ocean? And what of the Water spilled onto the grass? Will it's Contents help Flowers grow in a way the water could not? Or will that wasted effort dry up under the sun?

This card means Aspiration, Talent, Endeavour, wishes to be fulfilled and Gifts. Reversed it means lack of Opportunity, Tension, Pessimism and Stubbornness. Hopes you had into a Venture have being Dashed.

When used to Denote a Single person it's usually a teenager or someone born under Aquarius.

Taking the Stage are Mamaru Hayase, Minato's sports rival from another school, Teddie, The king of the TV World, Hifumi Togo, The Shogi Idol and Rainbow Mika, The 7 Coloured Bomber.

Mamoru Hayase

 

Mamoru can only be met if you compete for your School for the Sport's Club you are a member of.

Which Club?

WE'VE DONE THIS JOKE BEFORE!

It doesn't matter What Sport you do, You'll Always come Second To the Rival School's Ace, Mamora Hayase.

After the Race/Fight Hayase Finds You and is Impressed So he asks you if you would like to have lunch after.

Despite Going to a Different School Mamoru is actually a Hometown Hero, Who like Kaz is a young Athlete with Olympic Dreams (See Part 4), But unlike Kaz, Mamoru has So much of a better chance that all the Restaurants are Sponsoring him. Despite All that Praise and Pressure, Mamoru is a Very Humble and Laid back Young Man. Every bit the Inspiration off the Track, as the Oldest of 5 kids living in a small flat with their mother, after his father Died of a Car Accident.

One Day you are Supposed to Meet Hayase for Lunch, Until You get a Phonecall Telling you that his mother Got Sick and was Sent to Hospital, Minato learns later from a tearing up Mamoru that his mother fell at work due to exhaustion, taking extra Shifts to make ends Meet. Beating himself up that he let it happen, He has to make the Toughest Choice of his Life: Give up on his dream and Move away to work in his Uncle's car factory to wire money home once he Graduates From High School. It's Going to be tough, But he has to do it!

As A Blue-Chip Athlete and Beloved Elder Brother, Mamoru is the Inspiration Aspect. The Outcome of the Accident are the Tension and Dashed Hopes aspects of the Inverted meaning as his life takes the Sharp turn from nowhere!

MAMORU GET A POINT

Teddie

 

 

(Cracks Knuckles)

Ladies and Gentlemen It's time!

To cover The Most Annoying Playable Character of the Entire Persona Franchise.

When Yu Nurakami Found out he could traverse Worlds by entering a Television, he Couldn't keep it a secret. Despite only moving to Inaba less than a week ago, You trust this secret to the Son of the Local Supermarket Manager, Yosuke. There is a reason for this, You don't know why but you think there is a connection between this power and the two recent Murders, including the Murder of the girl Yosuke had a crush on!

So When Yosuke showed Yu the HD TVS Junes Sell, Yu entered the other world, the tv world, armed only with a golf club! You land in a world covered in thick fog. Not only could you not see, but the fog makes you feel...Bad! Like Physically and Emotionally, like all the the Strength and Hope is being drained from you with every breath! Until a SHAPE walks out of the Mist. A unlikely of all Saviours.

a Sentient Mascot Costume!

Teddie as it calls itself, Saves you but it's Confused and angry why Humans are coming to this world, he had not Interfered when "The other 3" came, but now their Presence is changing parts of the world. He must have being part of this change because he doesn't remember anything before this point. He Decides to Help You and all future Members of the Investigation Team by making glasses to not only see through the Fog but to get through it's Debilitating effects.

Until Rise Arrived,  Teddie was your Navigator, who commenting on all your actions with Possibly some of the worst bear puns Imaginable!

I can say without Any Irony, That Teddie's speech Pattern made him Unbearable!

"unBEARable"

Acting as your guide in this world now being influenced by another, Teddie too Is Being Changed by his Hormonal Charges. Remember I said in part 4 that Persona, at it's heart is a coming of age story? Well it is taken to eleven with a Teddie acquiring the Personality of a Full-on Horny Creep with no filter, after meeting Shadow Yukiko, who was the real girl's Personification of her Sexual Frustration.

When Rise gets Kidnapped, Teddie is Starting to have Self-Doubt, Peering into a world he cannot go to. It gets worse when Rise Confronts her Shadow herself and Reconciles with her Denial. It's seemed that we won't have to a Boss Battle, But It was the Use of the Term "Empty inside", That Triggered Teddie, Sure Enough Teddie's Shadow appeared and told him what he denied, He was a Shadow, just like every other monster from this world.

 

"YOUR MOTHER PLAYS CARD GAMES IN HELL!"

Denying it like the others caused Shadow Teddie to Grow to Galactic Proportions

Sunken into a black hole, Feigning trying to escape, it's face is cracked open to reveal the Nebulous Void Within. 

 

With the Defeat of Shadow Teddie, thanks in part to Rise, Shadow Teddie was defeated and was purified into Kintoki-Douji, a Legendary Toddler with the Strength of a Bear! A perfect match for the immature Shadow in an adult world!

However that outpouring of Emotional left Teddie Flat-Literally! So he said that he was going to do pull-ups and a lot of Thinking so he can become something different, that can be useful for everyone, and to "score" with Girls!

And that when it happened Teddie came to our world.

With Yosuke Covering that this Mascot was exactly that- just a Mascot. Teddie had Another Surprise Not only Getting back in shape, But he had-Somehow!-in his own words-Grown a Humanoid Body!

With Yosuke burdened with Living with Teddie, The Studly Bear In Heat became a party member with Rise replacing him in his Navigator Role. In his Quest to feel Human, Teddie has interjected himself into a school trip, nearly got all the boys killed at the hot springs, but the worst was his plan at a Pageant.

Convincing Yosuke to sign up the girls without their consent to the Beauty pageant, only for the Girls to sign up the Boys for the Cross-Dressing Pageant the night before... Exactly what Teddie Planned!

Being Androgynous in his human form, "Alice" won the "Miss" Yasogami high contest, with the prize being, changing the final round of the girls competition to a Swimsuit round! A Round that Caused Naoto, a Girl whose Gender Identity Issues Nearly killed her in the TV world, Refusing to Compete. This show of Convictions swayed the votes of the female students making the once unfriendly "Boy"  win this Contest and gain new friends. But In truth Teddie did it to continue to leer over his friends!

I think it's time we go to his defense, he is also very dear to Nanako, taking her Kidnapping and feelings of Worthlessness worse than the others, staying at the little girls bedside for nights on end. In the End, in another Dream Visit to the Velvet Room, You find not Igor or Margaret, but a transparent Teddie, who apologizes for his weakness. He realizes that his Shadow was right, that he is indeed just a Shadow and nothing else. He convinced himself that he wasn't, so he Made this Body to make him feel love. But when you tell him Nanako is Alive, he Disappears and Igor and Margaret return. The Master of the Velvet Room is Delighted on the change to the Shadow, calling the free will acquired as "a stone set in a riverbed, loosened by the current". And so Teddie wakes from his visit to the Velvet Room. Just as Nanako regains consciousness. Nanako heard Teddie and the others. And when Yu destroyed Izanami, and saved all of Inaba, Teddie now has the Free will to do want he wants with his new life....though he's still gonna mooch off Yosuke for a while, until he can read and Write at least!

As Irritating as Teddie can be, his Story holds up under the premise of the Star's Attributes, Namely the Endeavour and Aspirations Aspects. Teddie wants to experience Human Life, Not a Being a Creature of Base Emotions. But it's the aspect of Wishes that wins the point for Teddie because it's his resolve to stay with Nanako that Aspect allows her to regain Consciousness.

Hifumi Togo

Yusuke had just joined the Phantom Thieves and Soon the Heroes were asked to take down the Yazuka, However Despite his Decrepit Appearance, Kaneshiro was far more Cagey than the heroes thought, so Yusuke had a idea, in the church he goes to for inspiration, a Classmate of his sits in the pews to do the exact same thing! But while Fox uses the church to study the faces of parishioners, This girl uses the Silence to think of new Gambits for Shogi.(Shogi being a Chess like Strategy game) However this girl is very attractive and is constantly pestered by Men. This girl is Hifumi Togo, a professional Shoji player.

Joker is so Charming that his very presence makes girls pay attention and so you get to do what every other Man could not: Actually get a game with the Rising Star of the Pro Shogi World.

As an Abject novice, Hifumi Wipes the floor with Joker, Giving him his first lesson in Shogi-learn to concede when you are outmatched.

As the lessons Continue, you learn more About Hifumi- Her Talent in board games is not a lucky coincidence, but a Legacy! Her Father was a Grand Champion and though a Great player in her own right never could rise to her husband level due to her gender, So when Mr Togo became sick and bedridden, Mrs Togo's Paltry Women's Division Wage couldn't cover his Medical Bills, Even if Hifumi went pro.

So when the Shoji league's Magazine become interested in her Story, Mrs Togo has an Idea, use her Daughter's looks and Skill in the game to Break into Legitimate Idol and model Work, which pays more than she would get as a female player.....for the sake of her family, of Course (!)

This leads to Hifumi now making waves in League matches, much to the Jealousy of her Contemporaries. But the modelling and interviews are getting in the way of her practice and playing career. But despite that, the Wins are still coming and it gets the attention of the Grand Champion. Hifumi has the chance to be the first female Grand Champion ever.

However Hifumi learned the awful truth-Mrs Togo acting as her daughter's manager, was rigging her matches! Mrs Togo wasn't even doing it for her husband anymore, but for her own greed, fueled by her resentment! Sure enough there is a shadow of  Mrs Togo on Mementos. After changing her Heart, Mrs Togo publicly confesses to match rigging the League did not take away Hifumi's championship game, instead they went and used it to make an example of Her. In front of a Jeering Crowd and with the Commentary treating her like a heel wrestler, Despite a Skillful play late game, Hifumi was Outmatched so she did the only thing she could to save face-Concede.

When she saw Joker after her match, so told him she has requested to return to the Amateur League to get to the Championship the right way.

Hifumi is the talent aspect. Shogi is her life and until Joker came into it, nothing else mattered. She is also the Pessimism aspect. As when she went against the champion, she lost. However her humbling doesn't fit as a Tower rep, as many can argue, But the Defeat fits more with the Stars other Aspects of Insight and Understanding.

Hifumi also gets a point.

R.Mika 

 

 

 

Some Girls, when they are Young, Usually Aspire to their dreams at a very young age.

Some want to be Singers, others Doctors, and Some just want to be Wives and Mothers just like their mothers.

But when Mika Nanakawa was Young, she wanted To be a pro Wrestler!

However unlike Zangief, whose Training Regime of Pulling tanks and Piledriving Black Bears worked for him, Mika's Training was more grounded. 

...And the Only Female Character who has Bigger Tracts of land than Mika, She Rides in her Mobility Vehicle due to...Back pain!

 

She went to a Holiday Resort where Former Wrestler, Yoko Harmageddon was putting up shows. Upon seeing Mika Yoko saw Something Big- Or rather 2 Big Things!

And here is where things get weird, as we go to the strange World of Joshi Wrestling.

This is what happens when marks who Run Idol Agencies branch into a sport they know nothing about. The result is the Joshi Scene, where we get two extremes.

90 Pound schoolgirl

Or

"OH GOD! IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!"

However, Despite "overshadowing" most of the girls, Yoko Decided to her new Charge would be a Baby-face (Good Guy). Since her last name means "Seven Rivers" Mika was Dubbed "Rainbow" Mika.

A Month of Beach Runs, Muscle training and Learning how to move in what can only be described as a Thonged Clown themed Leotard in public,  Mika caught wind of the Streetfighter tournament. Despite her inexperience, Mika packs her Singlet, her Boots and her mask to make a name for herself.

Soon Donning her Costume, it wasn't long til Rainbow Mika got attention, When Karin Kanzuki, Martial Artist and Heiress laughed at Mika. Taking Offense, Mika Challenged Karin to a fight. Karin, not learning Anything Since picking a fight with Sakura, Accepted and Lost

However Karin was impressed and soon offered to be Mika's Financial Backer.

The Tournament continued to come up Mika, as her next Opponent was her Hero, Zangief. Despite being a Jobber with a Month's worth of Stamina Training, Mika Defeated the Red Cyclone. Despite Apologizing, Zangief was Impressed even when Mika confessed later on her true skill level. But Zangief was such a good sport, he made Mika his student. Soon Master and student ventured into the Shadaloo base and help destroy the Psycho Drive. However In the Ensuing explosion as they were escaping, Mika tripped and fell and was about to be crush to death by debris, until Zangief put his Body on the Line, and deflected the Rocks with his muscles. Indebted with her life, Mika accepted the Tutelage of the Russian Wrestler.

Years later and Mika returned in Street fighter 5 Continuing to improve, thanks to Zangief's Training and Karin's Bankroll. Mika took to the Idea of Zangief's new Philosophy of "Muscle Spirit", Even though she didn't really get what that meant. It was only when they Welcomed Lara Matsuda to Russia for a training match. When Something Happened, All of a Sudden A BEAR! attacked the trio. Attempting to return the Favour Mika started to fight off the bear only to be overpowered before Zangief finished the job. However Mika was told that she finally got Muscle Spirit as it is the Combination one's Passion and one's Muscles working in Sync. For a Brief Moment,  Mika's Body did just that! So when Zangief asks Mika if she would be his Partner in a Intergender Tag Match Lara is promoting, she jumps at the chance, Not knowing the Events of the Dark Sun will change all that.

Despite Zangief Confirmed for Street Fighter 6, Mika has not, though I would expect a cameo.

Mika is the Aspiration Aspect of the Star, to which there is no Doubt. To explain, I get to talk about what is my usual area of Reviewing Material: pro wrestling!

Mika refers to herself as a Star, her Costume is Flashy and made to garner attention, especially when that sport usually refers to it's more famous fighters as "Superstars". As of Street Fighter 5, Mika gains two 2 Moves that fits with this Narrative.

The First is the ability to cut a Promo. Mika produces a microphone, (just don't think about where it could be hidden on her person too much!) And giving a Rousing speech for a minute or 2!

Once powered by completing The promo will make ANY throw KO the Opponent, but it's so situational and you are Vulnerable when you are talking.

 

The second New Move Mika gains in v is both of her V-Triggers that Summon her Tag Partner, Nadesko. A Rising Star Wrestler, Mika would not start in a major promotion on her own, but made into a Tag Wrestler by Shadowing  a experienced Partner, until they find their feet. This is the case with Mika who has two partners, depending on the Circuit she is wrestling on. Despite the very bare Story, Mika gets a point.

Mamoru-1

Teddie-1

Hifumi-1

Mika-1

ROUND 2-PERKS

Mamoru can only be befriended if you join a sports club and unlock a cutscene. As proof of completion, Mamoru's Key item is a car key to fuse for Lucifer.

Teddie is your guide to the TV World early on and makes the Glasses for the investigation team to see beyond the fog. His Appearance makes it impossible to investigate properly, But Teddie is the first person Nanako speaks to when she awakens from her coma. Gameplay wise, for the last time, as a playable character, Teddie comes with Follow Up, Calvary Attack, Assist, Recover, Endure and Second Awakening. As the Social link is Automatic, As the story progresses you can Access Helel, Without a key item.

Hifumi can only Befriended by getting your charm to Rank 3. And can only be finished by Taking her Request. In return Hifumi will teach you Shogi Tactics and Gambits as you become her Training partner. Playing such a Strategic Game, raises your Intelligence Also.

Koma Sabaki ("Freeing Maneuver"), Let's you Switch a Party member during battle, Uchikomi ("Repetition Training") increases the chance of Follow up attack when Joker downs an Enemy, Kakoi Kazushi ("Smooth Unbalancing") allows you to escape even if out numbered, Narikin, ("Upstart") Doubles your Money,  Touryou,  (Central Pillar) to make your turn delay less so you can escape easily. Maxing it out upgrades Koma Sabaki into Togo System, making you able to switch party members at ANY Turn! HIfumi's Key item is the Kosha Piece that allows the fusion of Lucifer.

Due to the tournament Setting of Street Fighter, we Don't know if it's been made official if Ryu and R Mika have meet in a fight, as Mika is usually in the periphery as Karin's Sidekick or Zangief's student.

Mamoru-1

Teddie-2

Hifumi-2

Mika-1

ROUND 3-INFLUENCE ON THE HERO AND HIS WORLD

Mamoru is Completely optional and bares no  consequence to the larger story.

Teddie,Despite his Polarising Behaviour, has being front and centre to the Investigation at the very start, and could not solve the Mysteries inside the TV world without Teddie's Intervention.

Hifumi adds her cheers to the Cinematic Final Turn should you Max out her Social Link. Hifumi can also be Romanced, as during the same Hawaii School Trip, Hifumi is an Option for a date.

As Said, Mika is Either presented in Ryu's Eyes as Either Karin's Sidekick or Zangief's Student, and official Proof has being shown that have Met without the presence of the others.  If they do fight in game,  Mika Comments that Ryu Fights so Intensely, it feels like he's Fighting Himself. Ryu just Comment that fighting Wrestlers feels the same and uses the same Strategy to deal with them. 

Mamoru-1

Teddie-3

Hifumi-2

Mika-1

UN-BEAR-LIVABLE! TEDDIE WINS THIS ROUND!

 

Follow me on Twitter @RealEnli or @RealEnli.Mastodon.world Tarotober will Retirn next month for The essay on the Moon and the Sun. Speaking of the Moon and the Sun, I PROMISE YOU When all the new Icecreams become Available. The Icecream Review will be launched. As of Today, there are 5 posts left before hitting the 5-0-0! You cannot Imagine how excited And Delighted i am right now!

ROYAL RUMBLE 2023: SCAMMERS, SODA, SPOOKS AND SHOCKS!

 Because Ppvs are now on Saturdays, that means I'm drafting and Launching it at home on my phone, and not on a Computer, which means no memes or links. As such this will be a condensed review of the Rumble matches, Starting with the men's match.

• I could not have booked a Better 1st and 2nd entry than Gunter and Sheamus, given how great their match at The Clash at the Castle was.
• Miz is where will be from now on, as the Ineffectual Gatekeeper to younger talent, no longer doing anything of merit, because that would mean putting in effort.
• Bobby Lashley eliminated Brock Lesnar. Lashley Vs Lesner Confirmed For Mania.
• Rey was taking out by his Prison Bitch of a Son. Rey Vs Dom Confirmed!
• Booker T looked Fantastic Shape last night! As little as it lasted.
• Edge is back, To settle the Score with Judgement Day. Rhea attacked him from behind, which Summoned Beth to deal with her. I would imagine, that this was leading to a mixed tag, until what happened later happened.
• IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE, LOGAN PAUL A FINAL 3 CONTESTANT OF THE RUMBLE?
• BUT OF COURSE, NUMBER 30 WAS CODY! And this year's Men's Winner. Cody and Gunther had one amazing final 2 sequence, one of the best in years. And Cody, yes he deserved it.

And two Stinkers back to back. First we know what a Mountain Dew Pitch black match is...and it's stupid! So the Lights Dimmed over a Street fight, bathed in Black light With Glow in the dark gear and makeup. Even the weapons glowed. But the worse part was the Announce table was Gimmicked to filled with Day glow Packing Peanuts that spilled Everywhere and Stuck into there bodies. I think the match was told to go home and Bray hit Sister Abigail, but out came uncle Howdy to splash LA Knight on the runway for a fireworks stunt.

Next Bianca Belair barely broke a sweat dealing with Alexa Bliss, who is Regressing in Ability. After the loss, Uncle Howdy in pre tape repeated "Do you think you are in Control" over and over.

Now to the Women's Rumble.

• B-Fab is the Shits!
• A lot of Nxt call up and Returns to fill the numbers. Roxanne, Nattie, Piper Niven, Michelle McCool,  MidCardona's Jobber wife! Indi Hartwell, Shitzi BlackFart and the thirtieth spot that gets its own Bullet Point.
• Asuka has a new look, and new music. She's being teasing us with pictures of her in Joker makeup. I love this new take.
• Number 30 it's the Return of My Hole Jax, The Annoying Potato Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh Nia Jax!, The roster was not having any of that, so they ganged up to throw her Big Ass out!

After that women were flying around like lawn darts! Rhea won, but who does she face? I'm hoping on some revenge on Charlotte.

Because we had to waste everyone time with a Concert, Kevin Owens Vs Roman Reigns was a foregone conclusion....but the Storytelling after. With Kevin Owens defeated and broken, Paulie brought out handcuffs to beat him Senseless as Sami Watched. He was given a chance to cave Kevin's skull in but Sami Swung a chair at Roman and Sami was laid out. Now that's Long term Storytelling!

Follow me on Twitter @RealEnli I am also on Mastodons World Server under the same name!

MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING BLOOD AND THUNDER PART 2-LOST SUNBATHER

 This will Be Quick there are 3 matches this week but the Main event was a Squash, lets get to it, this is second Hour of The MLW Blood and Thunder Event, Previously Filmed Earlier this month.

We Start with Featherweight Action (Women's Division) and previously this match was Advertised as The champion Taya Valkyrie versus Trish Adora, Who will Now be Facing Gia Scott, a Four year Pro. And this was a great Technical ground Based Match-AND IT WAS FROM THE WOMEN'S DIVISON! I shouldn't act Surprised but given what we had next, I was going to take Any technical Wrestling I could! I think I seen Trish Adora on Rampage (Which at this Point is like The Wrestling world's answer to Dr Who, everyone's being on it!), And She has Personality beyond  her Green hair, He has Backstory, She's an Ex Vet, and a Charity Worker-And she can Wrestle-Company's can use her!

Next it's time to get Indie-riffic with our Second Match. TJ Crawford, a guy with Silver Trunks and Hair and a Great Body vs Some Floppy haired Moron who fancy himself to be the Understudy of Kenny Olievier, the World's greatest Wrestling Artiste! This Price Eejit, With Stupid Facial and Finger pointing and Overselling and Farm Animal Sounds when he throws a Punch and Kick. People Say that when Orange Cassidy does the lights kicks that the other guy should just lay his the Fuck Out? Well Crawford Did Just That? Prince Won With A Superkick after nearly cutting the other guys Head off with a fucking Stiff Low-Ki Style Tree of Woe Stomp!

The World's Champion Alex Hammerstone is a Man with a Target on his Back. He faces John Hennigan at Superfight, he has being assaulted By The Judge EJ Nduka. but he's here Scout his Opponent in the here and now, the man he bet for his very title, Jacob Fatu, Who tonight is facing a guy they built for month Ben-K....And this is who we get, a Japanese Man who's In Golden Swimming trunks and Gold Chains around his next with a Yellow Rose in his hand. He look like a Lost Sunbather! And he did not impress, at all in fact he got no offence in....Until Fatu Botched a Suicide Dive off a Chair...Though Matt Striker and Rich Bochini on commentary were the MVPs tonight, they turned it around and made it a Question to Hammer and asked him will Fatu's Hubris cost him once again. And even then, The botch to the floor was a non-factor, Fatu won. He Put over Ben-k and he Put Hammerstone on Notice.

As Far as I know, Superfight is exclusively on the Fite tv App. So there Next Special Tapings Will Be March or April.

Stay Tuned To This blog on Monday as I will have all the results of the Royal Rumble!

WWE RAW 30TH ANNIVERSARY -THIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP!

 Five seconds in and that incessant Terrible Ripoff of Blue Da ba Dee by some Skank called Boobie Rip-Shirt and I knew this will be a long night!

Speaking of long nights, this Is the reason why Blood and Thunder part 2 will be tomorrow.

We open with Scientology's new pawn, The Orange Supremist, The Ole HACK HOGAN, Who had forgotten to use a microphone. Yes, he is an Scienctogost, and calling Tom Cruise Gay makes him pissed, even more that mixing Bloodlines!

Speaking of Which, The Bloodline opened the Show With Tribal Court, to determine If Sami Zayn remains in the Bloodline or Not. The Crowd was Divided chanting for Roman or Sami. Because we were in Phillie, the crowd chanted ECW at Paul Heyman, But Paulie was Cooking Last Night "ECW...IS DEAD AND SO IS SAMI ZAYN" Paul was the Prosecutor, with footage of Sami's self serving and Cowardice. Sami played for Sympathy and refused to Defend himself, and This Set off Roman, "YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THIS AND YOU WON'T DEFEND YOURSELF, WHEN THE TIME COMES?" He Ordered Solo to Spike Sami, But Jimmy Uso came in, the one Uso, who suspected Sami, came to his aid. Sami is found Innocent, but He Doesn't want to see Sami, in his locker room til the Rumble. This was Great, but I wonder if they could have ended raw with this.

First Match the Usos Put up the Raw Belts Only against the Judgement Day, Namely Damian Priest and Dom the Prison Bitch! Good Back and Forth, Until One of the Uso is wiped out so Sami takes his Place. And Sami with a hot crowd becomes a World-beater. The Bloodline retains after a hot Match.

Backstage and the rest of the Legends and Jobbers will appear in vignettes around Ron Simmons Poker Tournament. Not much to Say, Ron Simmons, Godfather as a bouncer, Madusa, Billed As Alundra Blayze, Diamond Dallas Page all loses any table Baron Corbin is on, Until Ted DiBiase and IRS Steal the winning with Ron ending with his "Dahm".

La Knight out for a Promo, and challenges any legend! And out comes The Undertaker. Knight Backs off until Bray comes out behind him and Knight runs into the ring and Gets a Chokeslam as both Bray and 'TAKER stare at each other. And we still don't know what a Mountain Dew Pitch Black Match is! At this rate it Could be A Mimosa Mayhem Match, but with Kiddie Pools full of Mineral instead of Orange Juice.

Cage Match Didn't Happen. I don't know why on time of writing but this was embarrassing given the state of the Women's Division was shown last night!

DX Reunion was Next and Kurt Angle wants to join DX, They are Horsing off, until Imperium turns up, So Triple H Summons Seth Rollins, and then Then the Street Profits, And here's Teddy Long so Now Its a 6 MAN TAG, PLAYAH! HOLLA HOLLA! With Kurt Angle as Ref.

And after the Break, Jerry "King Pervert" Lawlor is here, No doubt was Suppose to be here to perv on the Women's Match that didn't happen! This match was Nothing Special, But the crowd did pop for Gunther and Rollins Squaring up! Faces Won!

Bobby Lashley was Backstage getting Interviewed, Until Mvp wanted to help him but Lashley told him to stay out of his way.

Ric Flair introduced The World Charlotte Champion, Charlotte! she did the same Woos and Happy talk, until Bianca Came out to do her Happy Talk. But Out comes Sonya and you could play it by Ear- Sonya Complains, Her mouth gets her in a Match With Bianca, Sonya loses-RINSE AND REPEAT! After the Match Alexa Bliss cut a promo on the tron to her reflection, about winning the title Saturday.

In The Graveyard Spot were he Belongs Gobshite From MTV got attacked by Kevin Owens who cuts a promo on Roman Reigns.

And finally Up to the finish Austin Theory and Bobby Lashley had a Competitive no DQ match, But it was indeed NO DQ....LAZY BOOKING! As one of spoiled Surprises for the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesner Hit Bobby Lashley with an f5, hit Austin an F5 onto Bobby Lashley and pinned him. What the fuck was that? 

Join me Tomorrow as we Conclude Blood and Thunder. Follow me on TWITTER AT @REALENLI While you still get Twitter for free, and you can find me on the Mastdon.world server at the same name!

MLW: BLOOD AND THUNDER PART 1: DURAN'S GAMBIT!

 In Memory of Jay Briscoe, who's Death was announced nine hours before writing.

Surprise!

Didn't think You'd see me so soon after such a big Post, Didn't Ya! Well, Neither Did I! But Last night i was heading to bed when MLW dropped the first hour of Matches that were Billed as the Blood and Thunder Special...Next Week will be part 2, Whenever That may be Next Week.

So Let's Start where We Left off Two years ago, MLW was Over-run by the heel Faction of Contra. Until The Booking was Given over to Lucha Underground's Booker, Cesar Duran. Who used his talent and Contentions to Rid MLW of Simon Gotch And Josef Samael. (Ikari Khan was still There, but he's a Job-Guy!) Contra Imploded When Jacob Fatu and Mads Kruger Had Bloody Street fight after another in their Feuds. When the dust settled, Mads would turn his attention to the world's Title and Fatu would Team with his Cousins Lance A'noi and Big Juicy.

However Cesar was Not the Saviour, MLW thought he was, Alex Hammerstone didn't Trust Cesar and It lead to Cesar asking Hammer to drop the belt to Mil Meurtes, after Hammer Defeated Fatu for the Belt. Cesar was Front and Centre to every Heel Turn and Shady Deal, Until last week's episode, Management had enough and fired Cesar.

This leads to the Cesar, addressing the crowd, THIS week first, and Despite English not being Cesar's first language, The Mexican gives 100% into menacing Promos. With the Frail Body and the black Suits, He gives off a Godfather Vibe. He essentially tells the Crowd in Philadelphia that he's Sniping talent for his Lucha Underground Revival, which we will see as the Show Continues.

 First of 2 matches And it's for the Middleweight Championship of the World. Former wwe Jobber Lince Dorado vs Dragongate's Shun Skywalker....and the crowd couldn't care less! And Phillie is Known for it's Loud cult-like wrestling fans! Good on them, they can do the Flippy shit, Go to Jacksonville if you are good at That, But the Crowd last night (At a show filmed on the 12th) was a serious Indictment on the state of wrestling-Everyone is sick of Trampoline Cowboys. Anyway, Finish was Ruined by Lince's Music played Before the Pin. And We have a New Champion-2 weeks after the last one! During a promo, Cesar Returned to Pour Champaign on Lince and telling the Heelish Face they need to talk.

He appeared twice more in 2 More Promos. First Attempting to Hire the Bombaye Fight Club, Then accepting the Booker Of the Year and Cutting a promo on Both Vince McMahon and Tony Khan ("I Didn't Get here By my Daddy, or waiting for him to Die!") he then revealed that he is Not going anywhere, as he was hired to be the manager of his new Client, the Featherweight (Women's) Champion, Taya Valkyrie. And now it makes Sense to turn her Heel on NWA. Because she is now heel here. But Like the tag division it's not Established. Taya will Face Some Green Haired women Next week.

And Now to the Main event! 6 Man tag action as the Bombaye Fight Club (Alex Kane, Mr Thomas and Myron Reed) faced Bulldog Jr and The New British Bulldogs, The Billington Brothers, Thomas, 21 and Mark only 19! This was Great! Alex Kane is pound for pound the best Technical wrestler MLW have, as well as being A mountain of man, Mr Thomas is no Minnow himself and Myron is such a high and Cocky lil Bastard with a slappable face, that it makes the Team. But it was all about a legacy been reborn. Too be that Talented, that Young, especially Mark Billington, at 19! They showed like their father, that they can ground people in the ring But Fly over in taking out, local Pin-monkeys Posing as an Entourage! Finish was the Billington's taking out Kane, Reed and Jobbers with a Double dive as the 2 powerhouses were legal., With Bulldog Junior slamming Mr Thomas with a Middle Rope Powerslam!

And that's part 1 of the Show filmed as part of Blood and Thunder. Next week. Cesar reveals a new signing, Taya is in Title Match Action and in the Main Event, Jacob Fatu faces Japan's Ben-K!

The Flippies awards 2023

 Was there a more An unpredictable, and tumultuous year than 2022 in wrestling?

A long awaited Return that took 30 years, was diminished when Drew McIntyre was Lex Luger'd in his Home Country. Meanwhile the return that noone wanted at first, became the Catalyst to the Bravest, Yet Unsettling Matches of the year. Backstage, the "Shocker" that Vince was a naughty boy, shocked everyone in so-called Legitimate Media....and it had nothing to do with his Best Friend being a Nazi!

It was the year Roman tightened his Grip on the belts, The Year Ze Valter-Guntha, excelled beyond his stupid new name. And the year Sami Zayn dragged himself from under the pit Vince put in him in by jobbing to Johnny Nailballs!

Over on the other companies, NWA became a Carny Clown Show when Nick Aldis saw what was coming and took his Ball and Ran. Despite Some talent remaining, it does not change that Billy Corgan is pushing Gimps, Man-Children, a backstage interviewer who can barely speak English and put the Belt on That Fat Fuck From Fox News, The Quanon Smash, Tyrus! 

Over on AEW, whenever ITV could be Arsed to Show it on time, Kenny Olivier and Chris Jericho were like a Divorcing Couple fighting over who gets to parent the Young Talent and who gets to Poison the Well, to stay relevant in the eyes of others. But if we look at MJF, We can see the Future, and it Works!

MLW got a TV Deal, Of Sorts In Britain, (IT'S COMPLICATED!), CUNT-HOLE YOUR NARRATIVE Spiralled out of Control and Impact Wrestling became A Floating Corpse in the Ocean: Every Now and then it Resurfaces, only to Sink again!

And While we Wait who getting to the keys to the Wwe Castle, The Saudis or the Nazi Rat!, Let's Dole out some Awards, 

THE DISCO STU FOR DEBUT OF 2022

SEND HOOK!

Okay, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING! Hook was on Dark and Rampage, But be Honest, DOES ANYONE WATCH THOSE? So far he's the Champion of a Fake belt, But with that Pedigree, can you imagine what he would be like if he was Booked for Real?

THE MAUD'S FUNERAL FOR MOST HEARTBREAKING EXIT OR IN MEMORIAM AWARD!

NXTUK-Lets Hope NXT EUROPE DOES BETTER!

This one Hits hard since I am on this side of the Pond, Especially when it was closed down around the Time of Clash at the Castle, 90% of the roster was giving it's marching orders, while Some were Deservingly Salvaged, (Ilya Dragonov, Tyler Bate, the Jury Is still Out on Repackaging A-Kid as Arse-ium, I mean Axiom!) But some dismissal were just Wrong (You Fire Noam Dar, Trent Seven And Sam Gradwell, But you Keep The Sci-Fi Stripper Sophie Turner?) For those still with WWE, I hope Hunter and by extension the new Owners, know what they are doing!

THE "MY PLANET NEEDS ME!" AWARD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BECOME AS WELCOME AS COVID LAST YEAR!

JOHNNY ACE-GOOD LUCK AND FUCK YA ON YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS!

I Never Thought I would see the day, that Serial Shagger John Laurinitaus would see his End after getting his End away for so many years! But a sacrifice had to made in response to the Allegations made by The Paralegal that him and Vince  were sharing like popcorn at the cinema! And This had being one of those firings that have stuck, muck like Joey Ryan, Laurinitaus tried to sign up as a guest for a Wrestling convention meet and Greet and was told that he was not Welcome. Even The NWA, that has An Accused Rapist as it's World's Champion Doesn't want Johnny Ace! 

THE "DR MARVIN WAS SICK" AWARD FOR A RETURN GREATER THAN LAZARUS AND STARDUST DRAGON COMBINED GOES TO...

CHARLOTTE FLAIR

WHEN THE QUEEN'S AWAY THE MICE....PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH TABLES AND STILL KICK OUT!

Never Have I thought that I would miss Charlotte Flair and her downright Dictatorship over the Women Title, (long time Followers will know I refer to the Smackdown Women's Division as the Charlotte Division!) But in her Absence, who did we have on the Blue Brand? A Half-Arse Rhonda Rousey, Liv Morgan Who can't even look over the bottom rope, but can somehow this 5 foot 1 Girl, if she is an Inch, can kick out of Being thrown into tables, Xia Li is unused, and Everyone else is Still Green. Also where is Nattie?

This Summer had being the most uninteresting Period for the Friday night show , while Raw had being killing it. So maybe, Just this once, I won't complain too much about Charlotte bring The World Charlotte Champion of the Charlotte Division!

WORST. EPISODE. EVER! FOR WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR 2022.

SAMI ZAYN VS JOHNNY NAILBALLS!

VINCE'S HATE-BONER PITCHES A TENT!

If anyone had a Rough few years in the Years Under the Deranged Booking of Vince McMahon, it was Sami Zayn. So this match with Fucking Johnny Knoxville, was solely made to bury What was left of Sami Zayn career, by turning the match into a Stage Stunt Show with Bowling Balls, Male Strippers and midgets as a Failed Actor put this Wrestler in a Mousetrap, As Piped on Cheers meshed with Visuals of people booing the Insult to their Sport they paid for!

But a funny thing happened, in the weeks before the Feud, Johnny Nailballs Doxxed Sami Zayn's Phone number, and I bet most, if not all were calls of Support, and now what started as him becoming a Chickenshit lapdog of Roman Reigns, has now became the Sympathetic Heel, that the crowd wants him to turn on Roman! Quite the Turnaround, let me tell you!

Honourable mention: AEW Brawlout!

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE

MARINA SHAFIR: PROMO OF THE YEAR!

Promo of the Year was not, Dax Harwood's Emotional "Fight like a Girl" Promo, in which he revealed his daughter had a heart Defect, it was not Twinkle Toes' masterclass Manipulation that was the "Kitty cat" promo of his return, it will shock you to learn that, promo of the year was not from MJF! No, It was from a Women in a Straw Hat, Trying Too Hard to be Hard in her home town, this was the Gift that kept Giving!

Sadly, there is No video of just the Promo itself on the 'tube, so I will describe what was went On. 

Marina Shafir, Who was in her Hometown of Albany New York was Cutting a Promo, Firstly thanking the People of Albany, for Welcoming her family who Immigrated from Moldova in the 90s..or I think she was Thanking them because, in the entire Promo, Marina never once lowered her voice or Softened her tone, for the parts were she should have been Sincere! She then "Thanked" Albany for shaping her, and here is when people should Know Shafir's Nickname is "The Problem" That Albany is "PART OF THE PROBLEM"...as Marina's Cohorts, dumbfounded, try to salvage the Promo by chastising the crowd for pissing her off....except that wasn't the case!

what happened next was Meme Gold!

She addressed the Crowd as people who Know her, that's when she turned to the camera and pointed and announced "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Repeatedly ending with her Beating up the turnbuckle as the Announcers cackled and Her Manager Vickie Guerrerro stifling a snicker on camera. It did nothing for her as she remains on the youtube show for Aew!

Do you know what it reminded me of?

THIS!

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE-FOR THE FIRST TIME, A SIX WAY TIE!

GENE MEDINA, MINI ABISSMO NEGRA, AREZ, TAURUS, DR.DAX AND GANGREL COLLECTIVELY KNOWN AS STRANGE SANGRIE

Right now you are looking at 4, Maybe 5, of those names and thinking one thing

"WHO?"

Maybe it's time to remind you that I only review televised ppvs for Televised Companies, and while the Distribution of MLW's Content is...Complicated, they do indeed have a television deal. And MLW has a tremendous roster and Upside. Alex Hammerstone has Matured into a Workhorse Champion and His work with former Partner Rich Holiday word have ended with Hammer dropping the Belt to him, if it wasn't for Richard Holiday contracting Hodgkin's Lymphoma , EJ Nduka is wwe's Loss and MLW's Gain. Jacob Fatu continues to astonish with his pedigree and Ungodly Speed and Aerial Moves for a 300 pounder, and Alex Kane, Myron Reed and David Richards Feud for the National Openweight Title and the Stolen Opera Cup was in Contention of Match of the year.

HOWEVER.....MLW FUSION IS ONLY AN HOUR LONG SHOW! and you would be lucky to have  more than 2 matches...IF MICROMAN IS NOT BOOKED!

Yes, For you see, for all the Good I Mentioned it's Ironically overshadowed by a 2 foot-luchadore called Microman, who from his ring walk to his work, drags an entire Match for 30 minutes. and worst still is not only seeing 6 men-Not only Job to a Midget, but Bump for a Midget. The only good that comes is that 4 of the 6 are wearing Masks and/or facepaint, so noone recognises them after the matches!  

THE MARGE AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE

BIANCA BELAIR-WHIP IT GOOD!

And people say WWE doesn't make new Stars!

on the flipside of Smackdown having a Champion who didn't want to there in Ronda Rousey to a Champion that didn't Deserve it like Liv, On Raw, The Roster thrived if not in the main event, but on the 3rd hour of the flagship show. Bianca not only showed she have matches when lead by Becky Lynch, Bayley or Asuka, But get something out of a now Listless Alexa Bliss. Bianca is currently champion, But with such a Stacked Roster, It's Surprising her Reign has being this long!

THE HOMER AWARD FOR BEST MALE AND THE 138TH EPISODE AWARD FOR BEST MATCH GOES TO CODY RHODES AND HIS BRUTAL BUT AWE-INSPIRING HELL IN A CELL MATCH AT THE EMPONYMOUS EVENT AGAINST SETH ROLLINS.

It all Started with A Surprise Return at Wrestlemania, one that was rumoured and dismissed by many. that Cody Rhodes one of the EVP of the Rival All Elite Wrestling, would return to wwe, but there he was Standing In his Father's Home State of Texas, Not the  WWE Cody Rhodes who didn't pay Dues and covered himself in Babyoil, But the Cody Rhodes of Aew, The American Nightmare. What followed was a Feud that lead to an injury that was waved off, until the reports of the morning of The Hell in a Cell premium Live Event, that during a work-out Session, Cody's Right Pectoral Ripped Further, while he was lifting weights. Despite being told not to arrive, he did and to make sure that no-one thought it was a Work...

 

I Remember this moment watching it live last year, and when he took off the jacket, the thunderous crowd just fell into Stunned Silence, What Followed was a Match as Gutsy as it was Wince-Inducing, As against all Odds, despite Being Told Not Too, despite Putting more strain that will increase his rehab time, Cody went the Distance. 

And That's it for 2022!

Hopefully next week, MLW Blood and Thunder will be up for review purposes, but if not that, then Raw 30th anniversary will be next instead!

Until then

PEACE!

2023 NEW YEAR/SPRING SCHEDULE

 And I am back!

I hope you had a great Christmas when you read this, actually when I wrote this, I wrote it a week from the Big Day. So by the time you will see this, it will be January the 4th, and I hope that I had a good one too!

But now to The Matter at Hand!

SCHEDULE FOR ENLIGHTENED TOWERS TIL APRIL

• January-February: The Flippies Return-The Year End Awards named after the Simpsons. Who will get the Coveted Homer or Marge, and who deserves to be called Worst Episode Ever?
• January 24th: Raw 30th Anniversary!
• January: MLW: Blood and Thunder.
• January 30th: WWE Royal rumble.
• February to May Window: Ice-cream Review
• April the 3rd: Oh, That? That's the Wrestlemania Hollywood! Parts 1 and 2. 

The Magic Number...500!

First off all, thank you all for being here for the past 13 years so let's make year 14 the best one yet! As of the nature of the post? It will be a ppv of some sort. The identity will become apparent to everyone.... including Me!....once the day arrives!

Major League Wrestling 

As of November, Ayozat TV, (the Monopoly on Public Access in 3 Continents) started to televise episodes of the Small Hybrid Wrestling promotion, Even though the episodes tend to be A week after they show it Online. Which means the televised episodes are a fortnight behind America, I am desperate for an Alternative to WWE. Besides, my most read Ppvs posts are of the terrible TNA/Impact Ppvs, and it seems I missed foaming at the mouth at sheer stupidity and so did all of You! The YouTube video of the previous week's episodes launch somewhere between Friday and Saturday morning. And I will only be covering the Special Episodes on the Monday following the YouTube episode, a week after its App Showing.

Tarotober concludes this Year!

It has taken over a year, But the theme month comparing and competing which Game uses The Tarot better for it's narrative: the Modern 3 Persona games, or Street Fighter?

There is a snag though! While I have being covering two cards at a time per post, Due to how ridiculous 6 main characters in P3 did not have Social links instead of Being Grouped together as 1 entity and given links in a non canon game, this means that I will have to, due to the Bulk of going through 6 different characters, separate Judgement and The World into 2 different essays.

So it now looks like this:

• February: Tarotober Part 9- The Tower and the Star.
• March: Tarotober Part 10-The Moon and the Sun.
• Later this year: Part 11-Judgement
• Later this year: part 12-The World

Opinion Pieces.

As the news on the wrestling world happens, I will try to give my two cents on it.

And off course, all posts are Subject to change.

Bogger box office schedule til April.

Over at Bbo, the current storyline finally ends. But when A Dream Does Decay what is left for anyone to life for?

• January: Bullet Train
• February: Free Guy
• March: Saint Patrick's Day Special- Belfast
• April: Gemini Man!

And a special announcement!

By the Time you read this, I would have joined Mastodon. Eejit-lon's decision to ban 3rd Party linking, as Someone who is a small time Content Creator, Links and retweets are the only way I gain any traction. I haven't joined in time of writing, but I  have a link that I have added below.

Enli, Journeyman Reviewer (@RealEnli@mastodon.world) - Mastodon

And let's make 2023 a great year together!