The Flippies awards 2023

 Was there a more An unpredictable, and tumultuous year than 2022 in wrestling?

A long awaited Return that took 30 years, was diminished when Drew McIntyre was Lex Luger'd in his Home Country. Meanwhile the return that noone wanted at first, became the Catalyst to the Bravest, Yet Unsettling Matches of the year. Backstage, the "Shocker" that Vince was a naughty boy, shocked everyone in so-called Legitimate Media....and it had nothing to do with his Best Friend being a Nazi!

It was the year Roman tightened his Grip on the belts, The Year Ze Valter-Guntha, excelled beyond his stupid new name. And the year Sami Zayn dragged himself from under the pit Vince put in him in by jobbing to Johnny Nailballs!

Over on the other companies, NWA became a Carny Clown Show when Nick Aldis saw what was coming and took his Ball and Ran. Despite Some talent remaining, it does not change that Billy Corgan is pushing Gimps, Man-Children, a backstage interviewer who can barely speak English and put the Belt on That Fat Fuck From Fox News, The Quanon Smash, Tyrus! 

Over on AEW, whenever ITV could be Arsed to Show it on time, Kenny Olivier and Chris Jericho were like a Divorcing Couple fighting over who gets to parent the Young Talent and who gets to Poison the Well, to stay relevant in the eyes of others. But if we look at MJF, We can see the Future, and it Works!

MLW got a TV Deal, Of Sorts In Britain, (IT'S COMPLICATED!), CUNT-HOLE YOUR NARRATIVE Spiralled out of Control and Impact Wrestling became A Floating Corpse in the Ocean: Every Now and then it Resurfaces, only to Sink again!

And While we Wait who getting to the keys to the Wwe Castle, The Saudis or the Nazi Rat!, Let's Dole out some Awards, 

THE DISCO STU FOR DEBUT OF 2022

SEND HOOK!

Okay, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING! Hook was on Dark and Rampage, But be Honest, DOES ANYONE WATCH THOSE? So far he's the Champion of a Fake belt, But with that Pedigree, can you imagine what he would be like if he was Booked for Real?

THE MAUD'S FUNERAL FOR MOST HEARTBREAKING EXIT OR IN MEMORIAM AWARD!

NXTUK-Lets Hope NXT EUROPE DOES BETTER!

This one Hits hard since I am on this side of the Pond, Especially when it was closed down around the Time of Clash at the Castle, 90% of the roster was giving it's marching orders, while Some were Deservingly Salvaged, (Ilya Dragonov, Tyler Bate, the Jury Is still Out on Repackaging A-Kid as Arse-ium, I mean Axiom!) But some dismissal were just Wrong (You Fire Noam Dar, Trent Seven And Sam Gradwell, But you Keep The Sci-Fi Stripper Sophie Turner?) For those still with WWE, I hope Hunter and by extension the new Owners, know what they are doing!

THE "MY PLANET NEEDS ME!" AWARD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BECOME AS WELCOME AS COVID LAST YEAR!

JOHNNY ACE-GOOD LUCK AND FUCK YA ON YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS!

I Never Thought I would see the day, that Serial Shagger John Laurinitaus would see his End after getting his End away for so many years! But a sacrifice had to made in response to the Allegations made by The Paralegal that him and Vince  were sharing like popcorn at the cinema! And This had being one of those firings that have stuck, muck like Joey Ryan, Laurinitaus tried to sign up as a guest for a Wrestling convention meet and Greet and was told that he was not Welcome. Even The NWA, that has An Accused Rapist as it's World's Champion Doesn't want Johnny Ace! 

THE "DR MARVIN WAS SICK" AWARD FOR A RETURN GREATER THAN LAZARUS AND STARDUST DRAGON COMBINED GOES TO...

CHARLOTTE FLAIR

WHEN THE QUEEN'S AWAY THE MICE....PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH TABLES AND STILL KICK OUT!

Never Have I thought that I would miss Charlotte Flair and her downright Dictatorship over the Women Title, (long time Followers will know I refer to the Smackdown Women's Division as the Charlotte Division!) But in her Absence, who did we have on the Blue Brand? A Half-Arse Rhonda Rousey, Liv Morgan Who can't even look over the bottom rope, but can somehow this 5 foot 1 Girl, if she is an Inch, can kick out of Being thrown into tables, Xia Li is unused, and Everyone else is Still Green. Also where is Nattie?

This Summer had being the most uninteresting Period for the Friday night show , while Raw had being killing it. So maybe, Just this once, I won't complain too much about Charlotte bring The World Charlotte Champion of the Charlotte Division!

WORST. EPISODE. EVER! FOR WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR 2022.

SAMI ZAYN VS JOHNNY NAILBALLS!

VINCE'S HATE-BONER PITCHES A TENT!

If anyone had a Rough few years in the Years Under the Deranged Booking of Vince McMahon, it was Sami Zayn. So this match with Fucking Johnny Knoxville, was solely made to bury What was left of Sami Zayn career, by turning the match into a Stage Stunt Show with Bowling Balls, Male Strippers and midgets as a Failed Actor put this Wrestler in a Mousetrap, As Piped on Cheers meshed with Visuals of people booing the Insult to their Sport they paid for!

But a funny thing happened, in the weeks before the Feud, Johnny Nailballs Doxxed Sami Zayn's Phone number, and I bet most, if not all were calls of Support, and now what started as him becoming a Chickenshit lapdog of Roman Reigns, has now became the Sympathetic Heel, that the crowd wants him to turn on Roman! Quite the Turnaround, let me tell you!

Honourable mention: AEW Brawlout!

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE

MARINA SHAFIR: PROMO OF THE YEAR!

Promo of the Year was not, Dax Harwood's Emotional "Fight like a Girl" Promo, in which he revealed his daughter had a heart Defect, it was not Twinkle Toes' masterclass Manipulation that was the "Kitty cat" promo of his return, it will shock you to learn that, promo of the year was not from MJF! No, It was from a Women in a Straw Hat, Trying Too Hard to be Hard in her home town, this was the Gift that kept Giving!

Sadly, there is No video of just the Promo itself on the 'tube, so I will describe what was went On. 

Marina Shafir, Who was in her Hometown of Albany New York was Cutting a Promo, Firstly thanking the People of Albany, for Welcoming her family who Immigrated from Moldova in the 90s..or I think she was Thanking them because, in the entire Promo, Marina never once lowered her voice or Softened her tone, for the parts were she should have been Sincere! She then "Thanked" Albany for shaping her, and here is when people should Know Shafir's Nickname is "The Problem" That Albany is "PART OF THE PROBLEM"...as Marina's Cohorts, dumbfounded, try to salvage the Promo by chastising the crowd for pissing her off....except that wasn't the case!

what happened next was Meme Gold!

She addressed the Crowd as people who Know her, that's when she turned to the camera and pointed and announced "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Repeatedly ending with her Beating up the turnbuckle as the Announcers cackled and Her Manager Vickie Guerrerro stifling a snicker on camera. It did nothing for her as she remains on the youtube show for Aew!

Do you know what it reminded me of?

THIS!

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE-FOR THE FIRST TIME, A SIX WAY TIE!

GENE MEDINA, MINI ABISSMO NEGRA, AREZ, TAURUS, DR.DAX AND GANGREL COLLECTIVELY KNOWN AS STRANGE SANGRIE

Right now you are looking at 4, Maybe 5, of those names and thinking one thing

"WHO?"

Maybe it's time to remind you that I only review televised ppvs for Televised Companies, and while the Distribution of MLW's Content is...Complicated, they do indeed have a television deal. And MLW has a tremendous roster and Upside. Alex Hammerstone has Matured into a Workhorse Champion and His work with former Partner Rich Holiday word have ended with Hammer dropping the Belt to him, if it wasn't for Richard Holiday contracting Hodgkin's Lymphoma , EJ Nduka is wwe's Loss and MLW's Gain. Jacob Fatu continues to astonish with his pedigree and Ungodly Speed and Aerial Moves for a 300 pounder, and Alex Kane, Myron Reed and David Richards Feud for the National Openweight Title and the Stolen Opera Cup was in Contention of Match of the year.

HOWEVER.....MLW FUSION IS ONLY AN HOUR LONG SHOW! and you would be lucky to have  more than 2 matches...IF MICROMAN IS NOT BOOKED!

Yes, For you see, for all the Good I Mentioned it's Ironically overshadowed by a 2 foot-luchadore called Microman, who from his ring walk to his work, drags an entire Match for 30 minutes. and worst still is not only seeing 6 men-Not only Job to a Midget, but Bump for a Midget. The only good that comes is that 4 of the 6 are wearing Masks and/or facepaint, so noone recognises them after the matches!  

THE MARGE AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE

BIANCA BELAIR-WHIP IT GOOD!

And people say WWE doesn't make new Stars!

on the flipside of Smackdown having a Champion who didn't want to there in Ronda Rousey to a Champion that didn't Deserve it like Liv, On Raw, The Roster thrived if not in the main event, but on the 3rd hour of the flagship show. Bianca not only showed she have matches when lead by Becky Lynch, Bayley or Asuka, But get something out of a now Listless Alexa Bliss. Bianca is currently champion, But with such a Stacked Roster, It's Surprising her Reign has being this long!

THE HOMER AWARD FOR BEST MALE AND THE 138TH EPISODE AWARD FOR BEST MATCH GOES TO CODY RHODES AND HIS BRUTAL BUT AWE-INSPIRING HELL IN A CELL MATCH AT THE EMPONYMOUS EVENT AGAINST SETH ROLLINS.

It all Started with A Surprise Return at Wrestlemania, one that was rumoured and dismissed by many. that Cody Rhodes one of the EVP of the Rival All Elite Wrestling, would return to wwe, but there he was Standing In his Father's Home State of Texas, Not the  WWE Cody Rhodes who didn't pay Dues and covered himself in Babyoil, But the Cody Rhodes of Aew, The American Nightmare. What followed was a Feud that lead to an injury that was waved off, until the reports of the morning of The Hell in a Cell premium Live Event, that during a work-out Session, Cody's Right Pectoral Ripped Further, while he was lifting weights. Despite being told not to arrive, he did and to make sure that no-one thought it was a Work...

 

I Remember this moment watching it live last year, and when he took off the jacket, the thunderous crowd just fell into Stunned Silence, What Followed was a Match as Gutsy as it was Wince-Inducing, As against all Odds, despite Being Told Not Too, despite Putting more strain that will increase his rehab time, Cody went the Distance. 

And That's it for 2022!

Hopefully next week, MLW Blood and Thunder will be up for review purposes, but if not that, then Raw 30th anniversary will be next instead!

Until then

PEACE!

THE FLIPPIES 2020

Once Again, if you asked me to describe the year in Wrestling in one word, That word for 2019 would be: Upheaval!

It was the Year that Women main evented Wrestlemania for the first time...by systematically putting Becky Lynch on a Pedestal that was propped up by breaking the backs of every other female champion! It was the last year of the 3 decade long deal with Sky as Of January, the new home of WWE will be BTSports. IPW promised us a second season, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! WOS Promised us a second Season; IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! It was the year Bray Wyatt took the straw that was the Firefly funhouse gimmick and spun it into championship gold. It was the year that wwe tried to be self aware with The Muscleman Dance and "BEEF!", Only to give WWE's Rivals ammo.

Rivals? Yes for once WWE had Rivals this Year, AEW is finding it's feet, despite Having ample coin. Major League Wrestling filled  Impact's role as the free alternative to WWE. And rising from the ashes, The NWA are The Phoinex that are guiding fans "INTO THE FIRE"!

Oh and Ring of Honour has it's British tv deal back after 12 years.
And it's clearly past it prime.
I Don't know what to feel about that!

So let's Start with our First Award:
WORST EPISODE EVER! (WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR)
SETH ROLLINS VS THE FIEND BRAY WYATT HELL IN A CELL MATCH FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP-RED (LIGHTS) DEAD (GIMMICK) (NO) REDEMPTION!

Originally I was going to award this to the Joker's Wild Battle Royal Match At The Double or Nothing AKA #IRISHGETNOTHING  Buy in, So WWE had to do a lot to make sure that There Worst was Better than AEW's worst, if that makes sense! So To do that WWE did the unthinkable, They ENDED A NON-DQ, ANYTHING GOES MATCH....WITH A DISQUALIFICATION!
YEAH, SO HITTING A MAN WITH A COMEDICALLY SIZED HAMMER IS GOOD CLEAN FUN BUT HITTING HIM WITH A SMALL REAL HAMMER IS SOMETHING THAT NOONE SHOULD SEE!

NOT THAT ANYONE CAN SEE ANYTHING, MIND!

So add to the Spoopy-ness of Bray Wyatt's Gimmick the arena was darkened and the Cell was Bathed in A Red Light, Factor that the Cell is Painted Red also and the Spot light was passes through Diamond Wire and you have an unwatchable match, that only got worse as in Went on. The Crowd was Irate and i Understand, Imagine paying money to watch Wrestling and not be able to! The Crowd Turned On Rollins after this match, But if AEW wasn't too busy making sure only British People could buy their ppvs, i would have nailed Their Colours to my Mast!

THE BELLA AWARD FOR BRINGING SHAME TO THE FAIRER SEX GOES TO
MARIA KANNELIS-PREGNANT CHAMPION!
You wanted the Attitude Era Back, So here it is!
Can We all agree that the 24/7 title has being Nothing but Garbage? Even worse was the reign of Mike Bennet, Maria's Husband, who's role in Wwe has being a role reversal from TNA...From using Maria as a Clutch to win EVERY! match by cheating, even ones that didn't matter, (to the point i started calling him MIZacle, instead of Miracle, You'd Remember!) to him being C*cked by his wife by taking her last name! and continued to be C*CKED by his wife by letting her pin him as the first (and please last!) Pregnant champion

MAUD'S FUNERAL
SADDEST MOMENT TO REMEMBER TRAGEDY THAT FELL THE WRESTLING WORLD OR THE PASSING OF AN ICON!
THE PASSING OF HARLEY RACE
THE LEGEND'S LEGEND!
There are tough men.
There are Men who enter rooms and command respect from All.
and then there was Harley Race!
Gruff-voiced and double tough, Harley race was the first United States Champion, and would set the benchmark early for greatness. Race would face the best in the world at the time, legendary feuds with Dusty Rhodes, and Ric Flair. Later on Harley would try his hand at managing, before retiring entirely, He said it best himself at his induction into the hall of fame! "There was no Better Place to be, than in the ring and under those bright lights!"

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION
FUNNIEST MOMENT
A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY!
DRINK IT IN MAN!
Chris Jericho is no doubt, having too much fun being AEW world's champion. So when he won the belt against Hangman Page, he grabbed the mic, to air his grievances, complain about being busted open and took us on a tour to the catering section where a rather pathetic spread was laid out for "Le Champion" He then turned his attention to an ice bucket full of Champagne, and that's when it happened!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv4HdKI1knw
After that strange impression of Jim Carrey, The phrase went memetic, and remixes and memes were made, (my favourite was remixing it with Mambo number 5) to the point that Jericho even went so far to launch his own Champagne line called unsurprisingly, A Little Bit of the Bubbly!

though if i must be honest, if the Khan Family (who are millionaires by the way) paid for better catering, Jericho wouldn't have lost his belt in that Steakhouse!)

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE
SETH ROLLINS
OVERSA-HA-HA-HA-TARATION!
Let's be honest! hate Brock for being Brock, Hate Vince for losing his Marbles, Hate the Elite for giving the likes of The Dork Order, Orange Cassidy and the best friends  worldwide attention,

I WAS SICK OF SETH ROLLINS! THIS MAN WAS EVERYWHERE IN 2019!
Not in the same way as MJF Who was Literally everywhere in 2019, But the problem is Seth is not a heel, he is the main Babyface, But the thing is Seth is never marketable, in my opinion, the shield was marketable, Roman being Rocky's Cousin was marketable, and after his battle last year with leukemia, has being hitting the talk show scene, Seth is uninteresting as a face and that Voice! THAT FUCKING VOICE! Has Seth being in good matches this year, for the most part yes, But Seth really took advantage of the Wildcard rule this year by appearing on both shows and really blurring the brand split!

MY PLANET NEEDS ME AWARD FOR GOOD RIDDANCE!
$KY $PORT$ AKA TRAITORS!
I SURE HOPE THE REST OF YOU HAD TO SELL PERFECTLY WORKING STANDARD DEF TVS JUST TO WATCH A TV SHOW ON A TV SCREEN!

DR MARVIN WAS SICK (RETURN OF THE YEAR)
CM PUNK....AS A TALKING HEAD!
FINALLY ALL THE MARKS CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!

DISCO STU (DEBUT OF THE YEAR) and also Winner of the Homer For Best Male Wrestler
MJF
THE VILLAIN WE GOT,
THE HERO WE DON'T DESERVE!
What a year MJF has had in Contrast to Seth Rollins, a man with equal amount of exposure this year, while Seth was only in one company and one company only, he was spread thin with over to shows at the expense of smackdown's roster (HERE IS A WEEKLY REMINDER THAT SHINSUKE NAKAMURA EXISTS!) On the other hand over the calendar year, MJF has being in IPW MLW And AEW, if you were paying attention, these were all the other free to air options for British homes for wrestling, Meaning that if you seeked it out, MJF was coming to wider audience than wwe! Whether it was playing the bombastic obnoxious Yank in Britain's IPW, or Leading the Dynasty to MLW tag gold, or Biding his time to wrest The leadership of the Inner Circle to become top heel in AEW (JUST A MATTER OF TIME!) I  would not be surprised if it hasn't happened yet, AEW needs to sign him to a permanent exclusive contract!

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH (EXIT OF THE YEAR!)
RONDA ROUSEY-PROMO OF THE YEAR!
Straight Line:________________
Dotted Line: ......................
Broken Line:-------------------
Memorable Line:What Does She Expect me To Do? Cut Off My Hair and Wash Her Feet With It?
Ugh.... While you figure out, THAT!.....

This leads us nicely to....

MARGE ON THE LAM AWARD (BEST FEMALE MATCH!)
BECKY LYNCH VS CHARLOTTE VS RONDA ROUSEY AT WRESTLEMANIA
So Renee Young's history making moment of being the first full-time female commentator at Mania was stolen by a revolving door of Legends, So Asuka's Smackdown Title reign was Slaughtered to make this match bigger than it was, And Yes The Poor IIconics and the fact they had title matches on Main FUCKING Event, Still wwe was going to give us a Women's main event at Mania and they succeeded at that Front. Would the match be better if they didn't have to crowbar Charlotte into EVERY. SINGLE. BECK LYNCH MATCH!
OF COURSE IT WOULD!
But in the end what started as a Botched heel turn would become the top tweener champion since Stone cold opened his first cold one!

THE MARGE FOR BEST FEMALE
BAYLEY
HEEL BAYLEY AT LONG LAST AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BAD!
I was a bit apprehensive of the Bayley Heel Turn to begin with, it looked like She was just being a Delusional version of her face persona not taking responsibility for her actions. then the switch off happened. the haircut and the destruction of her tubemen. Would I have loved to have seen an Attitude Era style Female Heel Turn where the female's Gear becomes Sexy? YES! But Black and Gold will do for now!

MOM THE VIGILANTE (BEST MALE MATCH)
KOFI WINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!
So Kofi may have peaked harder than Face Miz this year, but until he was Fed to Brock Lesner (BECAUSE STILL PUTTING BELTS ON PART-TIMERS IS SUCH GOOD SHIT, PAL!) Kofi's Cinderella story to the title was sudden but damn wasn't it a wild ride! So, when Ali got injured before Elimination Chamber, Kofi took his Place and despite not wresting the title from Daniel Bryan, the Rematch was set for 2 months later in New at Mania 35! 11 years of Frustration of being called "Stupid! Stupid!" by a Dickhead! Of repackaging, it was all worth it, as Kofi surrounded by this New Day Cohorts and his two young sons, it was worth it.

Shame how it ended!

Tomorrow i will have a brief post on my plans for 2020
Peace!
Eamonn
Aka
@REALENLI

THE FLIPPIES 2018

If i could sum up 2017 in one word, that word be "adversity".

From an Eleventh hour Wrestlemania, to No credit Ed's Show In A Shed, what could go wrong, did! Mumps, injuries, last minute bookings made 2017 a less than straightforward year.

THE POOCHIE FOR WORST MALE
JINDER MAHAL
PASSION RUNS THROUGH HIS VEINS!
THAT, AND ALL THE STEROIDS!
70-344
The Cryptic number appeared on message boards the day after backlash when Jinder Mahal won the world's title in shocking manner. At that point jinder only Encrued seventy wins as his ten year professional Career. I know wins and loses in the " fake" world of wrestling don't matter, but even in context of any sport, that's pretty pathetic!

THE BELLA AWARD FOR THE WORST FEMALE
LANA
TALE OF THE TAPE...WORM!
Apart from wearing a leotard that caused the sound guys to get distracted and exposing Charlotte's backside to the world, is their anything of MERIT the tapeworm did?

WORST. EPISODE. EVER!
WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR
MATTHEWS/STEINER vs ABYSS/BORASH
NO RULES! NO SENSE! NO SYMPY!
Feuds between non-wrestlers always suck, And trying to save us from having a live match by giving us a terrible prefilmed bullshit, all to teach Josh Matthews not to be a wankpuffin on company time!

MAUD'S FUNERAL (SADDEST MOMENT)
BOBBY HEENAN: RIC FLAIR IS STILL WITH US, BUT WE LOST ANOTHER LEGEND!
In the week that Ric Flair recovered from sickness, wwe still cast soil on a lost family member. One of the greatest managers of the Golden Age, no other manager would ever be as winningest as Heenan. Either as the Brain or as the Weasel. Bobby Heenan will truly be missed.

MY PLANET NEEDS ME! (GOOD RIDDANCE!)
THE JARRETTS: THE KING AND QUEEN DETHRONED BY A FOOL
By now, It shouldn't surprise any of you that TNA is in the financial doghouse again. Amid rumours that Lockdown won't even happen next month, the former head office is Nashville has closed it's doors last night. But it's bad when you can't even book a new women's champion to make her stay!


Now we discarded all the sadness, and stupidity of 2017, let's focus on the good this year. Er...ERM...

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION (FUNNIEST MOMENT)
THE FASHION FILES/ SOUTHPAW REGIONAL WRESTLING: WWE PROVING THEY CAN TICKLE RIBS AS WELL AS BREAK THEM
Enlightened towers is a fictional office building, but if I had a water cooler, we would there talking about wwes comedy shorts.

MOM THE VIGILANTE AWARD (BEST MALE MATCH )
KEVIN OWENS VS CHRIS JERICHO
BEST FRIENDS, BETTER ENEMIES
Months before Chris was slumming it in Japan fighting a FUCKING Janitor who pets cats like a pansy and is friends with 2 overrated spot monkeys! (#FuckTheYoungBucks), Jericho helped  Kevin Owens in one of the best matches at Wrestlemania.

MARGE ON THE LAM AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE MATCH GOES TO...NOONE!
Despite the Mae Young Classic the tournament had the non wrestler and Rousey hanger on Shayla Brazsler in its final. The Mitb was marred in controversy. Was 2017 the year women's wrestling regressed? No. Was it the worst year in women's wrestling? In my opinion, yes!

DR MARVIN WAS SICK (RETURN OF THE YEAR) THE HARDYZ: BROKEN GIMMICK, I KNEW YOU'D COME!
It was either backstage rumbling, or wishful thinking, but when the new do, host of mania 33, announced that the 3 way ladder match was now a 4 way ladder match, we all thought the new day were adding themselves to the match.
We were wrong!

Shocking the world, and possibly giving no cred ed Nordhelm a headache, after months of teasing, Broken matt will grace us with his presence

THE DISCO STU FOR DEBUT  OF THE YEAR
PETE DUNNE: ENZO'S TRIP TO BLIGHTY COMES TO A BITTER END

Enzo has become the most irritating man on wwe in the space of a year, tarnishing the belt quicker than you can "sky sports, stop cutting the cruiserweight matches off raw", enzo holding the belt from so many talented men. So when Enzo was in England doing a long winded promo what happened next made enzo need a new pair of leopard print pants!

THE MARGE (BEST FEMALE)
ASUKA-SMILING AT YOUR PAIN!

WHEN ASUKA SMILES....
WHAT YOU SEE!

AND WHAT HER OPPONENT SEES!


THE HOMER FOR BEST MALE
BRAUN STROWMAN: THE ACCIDENTAL BABYFACE
In the year that Roman Reigns was once again shoved down our throats, by giving him a marquee at Wrestlemania HE DIDN'T DESERVE! What started as a blowoff feud at the March Ppv no one buys! only put Braun Over! and when the loser of the Ambulance Match rolled into an arena out of an ambulance, the crowd couldn't hide the fact they would rather cheer an actual heel over the actual face!

Well that's my lot for 2017! do you agree? disagree? Let me know in the comments page below on or on my Twitter @RealEnli. Keep Clicking Refresh because soon i will have my schedule for 2018 up very soon!

THE FLIPPIES 2016

2016 WAS A BUMPER YEAR FOR WRESTLING!
On one side of the coin, We had spectacular comebacks, shocking debuts, and a Dream Match that only occurred when the improbable happened 12 months ago!...

Sadly, as WWE flourished, TNA Floundered, As wwe tilled new soil in China and U.A.E, Dixie bet the farm and lost! The sport gained new stars, Heaven gained a Shooting Star (RIP. KRIS TRAVIS), The Women's Belt became the match to watch, and role reversed with the Ic belt to become the Toilet Break!

Yes 2016 will fade away, but it should NOT classify itself as OBSOLETE!

MAUD'S FUNERAL (SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR)
CODY RHODES REACTION TO THE UNVEILING OF HIS FATHER'S STATUE!

Just look at this photo. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for the man!


(Honourable Mentions: the death of Kris Travis, Vader announcement of being terminally ill.)

And now an announcement-the match of the year has now being split into two new awards, named after marge's and homer's best episodes!

THE MARGE ON THE LAM AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE MATCH!
 BECKY LYNCH VS CHARLOTTE VS SASHA BANKS AT WRESTLEMANIA 32
RULES CHANGED, EYES OPENED!

Despite being on for 7 hrs this year, 2016's edition of the "Granddaddy of them all" was blase. however, The Triple Threat was a butterfly Effect for the rest of year, that Hurricane spawned from one small thing- the Commentators told not to call the female Superstars "Diva's" anymore! years after being unceremoniously carted out like cattle during a Kid rock concert, the Women were given time to have huge entrances that would rival those of Undertaker and Cena! This match set a precedent, one to which the other matches this year inspired to, but also because we no longer have to see the Butterfly belt ever again!
(Honourable Mentions: Alexa vs Becky, Asuka vs Mickie James)

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSILE LAUNCH (EXIT OF THE YEAR)
THE DUDLEYZ: DO YOU KNOW WHO AI AMMMMM!!!???? ME AN' MAH BRODDAH DEEVON SHOULD BE HALLAH FAMAHS!
By telling Dixie to shove it! the Dudleyz came back for one final, but sadly brief, hurrah! You couls tell that all the teams who faced the legends held Bubba and Devon in the highest regard!
(Honourable Mentions; Lillian Garcia, Billy Corgan)

MY PLANET NEEDS ME! (GOOD RIDDANCE)
TNA: DELETED: OBSOLETE!
At time of typing, Tna has lost it's  British tv deal. 2017 has being an Absolute Massacre to TNA, It's dwindling talent pool, it's top stars jumping ship, A 7 MILLION DOLLAR DEBT, And unpaid contracts, I just got word that tapings will resume in the new year, with a new money mark benefactor, but all of these shows will continue the trend of mass recording that is currently driving tna to it's death!
((dis)Honourable Mentions: Adam Rose, Jerry Lawler, Eva Marie (for now!) Adriane Andrew)

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION (FUNNIEST MOMENT)
KEVIN OWENS MOCKING ENZO AT SUMMERSLAM!
I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvIBb0-eR58

(HONOURABLE MENTION: THE LIST OF JERICHO-IT GOT OVER, MAAAAAN!)

WORST. EPISODE. EVER! (STUPIDEST THING OF THE YEAR!)
THE FINAL DELETION: HOW MUCH COKE, IS TOO MUCH COKE?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT AND THAT'S NO COMPLIMENT!

Shot in Hardy's Mansion Grounds in Cameron and Shot like a B-movie, the 1st of many coke-fueled romps in the North Carolina Backlands led to many "What-The-Fuck?" Moments, Jeff  meeting Matt's Drone, a hologram, a chase on Lawnmowers, a dangerous and irresponsible bump from a tree, fireworks and a finish involving an elderly garndener, Willow and Jeff buried Alive! The real Question is: how much of TNA'S meager Budget went into this?
((DIS) Honourable Mentions: Shane McMahon diving off the Cell for no good reason! the 6 day wait for British fans to see Slammerversary and Bound For Glory, Melendez vs Beauregard, Rebel vs Shelley Martinez, R-Turd's Pokemon Go Obsession, Breezango working a match Sunburnt! Miz being a No-Talent, Cheating Bastard Who Hides in his Hot Wife's Skirt! Mike Bennett BOOKED AS a No-talent, Cheating Bastard who hides in his hot wife's Skirt!)

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE
REBEL (REQUIEM FOR A MEME!)
Goodbye to Rebel, The Cheerleader Drinking buddy to now former Tna Ring Announcer and Creative Member (Snigger!~) Christie Hemme, Hot Pants Enthusiast, and owner of a Loss-Win Ratio so Pathetic, it's lucky she has Looks to fall back on, Not to mention a Spear so Stiff you can catch Rigor Mortis from it! I'm Putting her here because of her 1 ever Recorded single win on PPV, one that Spawned my own Meme "Rebel Won A Match?" Now What do I  do with all these images?

Hey Patrick, Rebel Won A Match!


Hey Britney, Rebel Won a Match!

Hey Principal Brown, Rebel Won a Match!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14rzeK7wRHU
(DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS: REBY SKY, DANA BROOK, NIA JAX, MARIA)

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR WORST MALE
JOSH MATTHEWS: PEOPLE PERSON!
My award for terrible Wrestling, politicking, or for just good old fashioned bile against wrestling fans in general, goes to Tna's head commentator, and self-appointed bull baiter, Josh Matthews. Somewhat knowing what we all know that Tna One Night Only PPVs Dont Matter, Matthews along with His Collegue The Pope or Jeremy Borash, would rather about comic books, their dinner, or argue with Pope about who sucks more, rather than, i don't know, CALLING THE MATCH!

The Unprofessional-ism doesn't stop there, a staffer on the tna twitter, believed to be Matthews would reply angrily to anyone bought up the lawsuits, debt, or underpaid talent, even lashing out at fans who tweet questions like " why do 90% of your wrestlers have beards and long hair?"

So Congratulations, Josh Matthews, we'd sooner follow a fake porn account that will hack our personal details, than follow you!

(DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS: Cena: (Of Course!) Bore-ton(NATURALLY!) GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (WHEN IS HE NOT IN THIS LIST?), Donald Trump, Hulk Hogan, Kevin Dunn)

THE DISCO STU FOR BEST DEBUT AND THE HOMER FOR BEST MALE GOES TO...

AJ STYLES-PHENOMENAL IMPROBABILITY
If you want  a year to be noteworthy, then start at the begining, when the klaxon at the rumble rang for a third time, we were forced to look at Blowman Lames face as the crowd whipped itself into a fury! on Twitter, Aj Broke it in Ireland for 7 hours! Aj Styles wrestled like he always belonged (well, he gave up doing this backhand combo, because he broke Miz's Tooth, But when has GOBSHITE FROM MTV! Hit his mark properly?) now the man who was man who was made to lead tna against wwe, is now it's champion! and it wouldn't have happened without....

MOM THE VIGILANTE  AWARD (BEST MALE MATCH)
CENA VS STYLES 2 AT SUMMERSLAM
A 13 YEAR DREAM MATCH CAME THROUGH!
So the Original match was marred in controversy, WHO CARES! What anyone will and should remember is the rematch in Brooklyn, with no club at ringside, the worked up crowd was split down the middle! after all these years, despite being in the same company these 2 men were still opposing each other! the match was one of the best I've seen, I grew a little respect for Cena, but it was all about Styles, the Man who Exiled Cena, who sits on the top of the company he once tried to extinguish! 

THE FLIPPIES 2016

2015 was an emotional year.
An Network made to unite became a tool of class division, The Biggest Idiot in Wrestling pretaped spoilers to her company's biggest show, and abeyance became the word of the year!

But despite this, we had a memorable WrestleMania a raucous Money in the bank, and TNA shows so ridiculous, they became talking points!

THE DISCO STU AWARD FOR DEBUT OF THE YEAR
ASUKA- DESTINED MEETING, THANKS TO DESIGNATED SEATING!
It was a wet summer morning when I  was scouring through takeover clips, when a camera pan made me rub my eyes in disbelief, Kana was Sitting at ringside, and it sparked rumours, whet they existed or not, didn't matter as months later, she destroyed Dana " Lex Luger In Drag " Brooks!

THE MARGE VS VOILENT TELEVISION AWARD FOR FUNNIEST MOMENT
THE NEW DAY - OR HOW TO SUCCEED AS AN ALL ETHNIC GROUP WITHOUT MENTIONING GANGS, DRUGS, OR HIP HOP!
Don't ask me when swarmy smiling punching bags became a joy to watch, I'm just glad they did!

MAUD'S FUNERAL FOR SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR
THE DEATH OF RODDY PIPER -LAY DOWN YOUR SILENT PIPES FOR NOW THEY PLAY FOR YOU!
From national heroes like Maureen O'Hara, to Literary heroes like Pratchett and Brian Friel not even Wrestlers were safe from the Celebrity Cull of 2015, we lost Nick Bockwinkel, Dusty Rhodes, but it was the death of a man who sufferings all his life, that got to me.

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH AWARD FOR EXIT OF THE YEAR
AWESOME KONG - GIVING IT ALL, LEAVING IT BEHIND FOR THE NEXT ONE!
Despite that joke of a final match, a loss to Jesse GlassJawz, It was revealed she was wrestling despite having back trouble ...FOR 2 YEARS!

MY PLANET NEEDS ME AWARD FOR GOOD RIDDANCE! DESTINATION AMERICA EXECUTIVES USING TNA TO HOCK THEIR SHITE WITHOUT RETURNING THE FAVOUR!

Many fans must have felt a twinge of embarrassment whenever time was given to A promo for BBQ Pit Masters with bbqs set at ringside, but the real limit was seeing Matt Hardy dressing as Bigfoot because TNA is on the Bigfoot Channel. it was worse over here, since those segments were badly edited out, so the entrance had magically appeared bbqs sets and fractured conversations.

THE 138TH FOR MATCH OF THE YEAR
MITB OWENS VS CENA - SHAKE YOUR HAND? I'VE KNOWN WHERE IT'S BEEN!
Blasting onto the scene Kevin Owens made one statement: He was not here to make friends. To prove that point, he destroyed his best friend, Sami Zayn and won The NXT Title by referee stoppage a wwe first. Then came a Blockbuster debut beating the hell out of Golden Boy In one hell of a feud this year. Superb stuff from the Canadian.

WORST EPISODE EVER! FOR STUPIDITY OF THE YEAR
THE DIVAS REVOLUTION - HARD TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN 2 BLONDE BIMBOS TAKE UP YOUR SCREEN TIME!
First Things First, the Diva's Division rightnow? Possibly the strongest and diverse roster we've had in a long time!

Sadly Creative has already Cooked the Goose before it laid any gold eggs!

Any matches that the divas did have, were shorter than expected, because more time was given to the Love Dodecahedron that was Lana/Rusev/Dolph/Dumber Rae/Breeze, turning all those Women involved, as a referred to previously, as "Hormonal Love Puppets!" Which was certainty not the direction we were supposed to be going!

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR IDIOT OF THE YEAR -DIXIE CARTER -I'VE SEEN MAGIC 8-BALLS THAT GIVE BETTER GUIDANCE!
Was There ever any doubt?
From their "1st" show in January, (prerecorded in September last year), to the Pathetic Fan-Wank in North Carolina in October, Miss Carter's direction has made many cletch their fists, furrow an eyebrow, or just plain closed their eyes and wished it was all over, with mass filming of 10 shows, a TV station leeching time from matches, a certain hack of a champion who blocked me on Twitter, it was the fake tourney that was the breaking point. So somehow TNA has survived closer, but with a weakened roster, for how long?

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE
EVA MARIE
BOXED CANCER!
From not kicking out properly, to mangling Simple English language ("You have a match...VERSE ME!) Eva earned her nickname, #AllBotchEverything!

THE MARGE FOR WOMAN OF THE YEAR
BAYLEY- NXT'S "LITTLE SISTER" COMES OF  AGE
I felt Like my Fledgling years as a wrestling writer again, since $ky $ports fucked up NXT coverage, but sometimes a match comes out so good eventually it becomes available to everyone. The 30 minute Iron woman match between her and Sasha Banks was one such match.

THE HOMER FOR WRESTLER OF THE YEAR
SETH ROLLINS
THE ARCHITECT OF THE FUTURE OF WWE
Despite his reign booked poorly (I think his Loss/Win ratio as champion may have being a new record) He saved WWE from Brock Lesner's Lazy Self Serving Reign. Get well soon Seth, I can't take any more of Blowman smiling like he's in a Mentos advert!

The Flippies 2014

They say that history is made by those who saw it happen. Well, thanks to $ky $port$ making all but 3 shows ppv on box office, I didn't get to see much.

However there was many things on raw, smackdown, NXT, and free (if 3 days delayed) TNA PPVS, so it wasn't a complete loss!

THE DISCO STU (DEBUT OF THE YEAR)
WE'RE HERE....
Of all the debuts this year to the main roster, none has quickly fitted the mould, captured the imagination and tapped the zeitgeist than the Wyatts. Granted Wyatt has being injured for most of 2013 and Harper and Rowan are little more than brawlers, but not since the arrival of the Shield has there being a level of intrigue and yet...Unlike the Shield, a following. Which leads us nicely to...

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH!
(EXIT OF THE YEAR)
BRAY WYATT'S SURPRISINGLY FACE PROMO ON NXT
It was not a good night for NXT's resident jobbers, A Pre-Awesome Aiden English and Mikey Keegan. When the lights went out and we saw the titantron "we're here" Graphic for the 1st time, the entire crowd became unglued. After dispatching English with their respective Finishers. Wyatt, as always picked up the microphone, and, as always, the entire Full Sail University hung of his words, After goading Bray to "Tear Down the Machine", The mood changed when Wyatt revealed that he and his followers were leaving the Yellow Brand to go to the Red Brand. When he played the E.T Card i.e. a promised return, the crowd dahm-near lost their voices!

MY PLANET NEEDS ME(GOOD RIDDANCE!)
PANDA ENERGY PULLS THE PLUG ON IMPASSED 'RASSILING, Y'ALL!
After 11 years and an extra-material scandal that has MADE it's founder Start all over again in India,
Dixie "Rich Idiot" Carter took complete control of TNA. Only for her daddy's company, Panda Energy to go bankrupt. Seeing the company as just a "frivolous hobby gotten out of control" The carters have no choice but to sell. And it doesn't look good, Styles, Jeff and Sting, have left, 80% of the young talent had being fired because of the whole "PritchardGate" Debacle, meaning the once diverse roster is now less than 3 dozen people. As for Dixie herself, the sooner she sells it to Billy Corgan or Back to Jarrett, the sooner I don't have to listen to her No Indoor Voice, Grammar Killing promos.

MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION(FUNNIEST MOMENT)
The Claire Lynch Storyline Not only won a wrestlecrap Gooker and The Enlightened Page's very own Poochie, It also made the now disenfranchised A.J Styles take a long look at his employers. It also made the villains of the piece, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazerian, Look weak by comparsion. So thankfully, when you say these guy all last year, they made it their mission to be entertaining, With the tag belts on pathetically rubbish Jersey Whore and Jessie Gobshite!, this year you may have permission to worship them.....NOW!

the 138th!
This year I was certain not 1 match would top C.M Punk versus Undertaker. But a funny thing happened. Seemingly on a monthly basis I watched the 2 companies topped each other. Until finally at the very last PPV I watched this year....
KURT ANGLE AND BOBBY ROODE LEAVES IT ALL IN THE RING!
2 of the world's best, 1 the only Olympic Gold Medalist in the Sport of Professional Wrestling, the other, the longest reigning Champion in Impact Wrestling's History, Left it all in ring, In a match that left both men to leave under their own power to walk.

THE POOCHIE!
IDIOT OF THE YEAR
GLEN BECK : DISGRACED NEWSREADER OUTSMARTED BY "STOOPID 'RASSLING" PEOPLE
If the 2 year period of dealing with Michael Troll and Rupert Murdoch not giving the British and Irish people that made him rich a fixed time for wrestling has thought me anything, it's that so-called Legitimate Media has no respect for wrestling. Back in January, Jack Swagger has made his return and had with him, a new Manager, Zeb Colter. Since Alberto Del Rio was the champion, and with immigration debates and "birthers" in the news, the decision to make Swagger and Colter Heel Flagwavers was easy at the time. as wwe has expanding into a more Latino Demographic. So Zeb introduced himself with a frankly. over-the-top racist promo, that was actually cut from many international showings of raw, introducing over here in Ireland.
It was picked up by One Glen Beck, A newsreader who was fired by fox for his own bigoted views and had his own wed cast. After claiming the gimmick was demonizing the Tea Party (despite the tea party never being mentioned.) Glen opened his phone-lines to anyone to explain...Except the quote "STOOPID 'RASSILING! PEOPLE!"
After refusing to come to raw and have 5 minutes of TV time, Zeb and Swagger broke character, in an attempt to explain reality and Fiction, and the difference between them.
WORST EPISODE EVER!
BIG BROTHER COMBINES WITH JERSEY SHORE! IT'S AS BAD AS YOU THINK!
Please explain TNA, If you haven't already pinched holes into the walls to sell the copper wires, Why a man who can't even throw a clothesline properly, whose finisher is a body slam (what is this, 70's Britain?) your tag champ?

The Marge (best female)
AJ LEE TELLS E! WHERE THEY CAN STICK THEIR DOCUMENTARY!
All year, we on this side of the Atlantic had to listen to Michael Troll plug a show, we don't even have over here. And by the sounds of it, Total(ly Pointless) Divas is nothing more than a spoof of Rich, dumb Texas/Fake Housewives i.e. Unlikable Attractive People having a TV show as a flimsy excuse to get drunk and were bikinis. it also stars my 2 favourite people(!) The Bella twins, aka Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Got-Her-Hooks-Into-Golden-Boy-So-She'll-Never-Be-Fired!

With half the roster on this show and the other half not on TV at all. The biggest opponent of the show is the current Divas champion, A.J Lee, and with No-one from the show anywhere near her level, the 5'1  champ is standing tall.

The Bella award(worst female)
THE OTHER TWO FORM TOTAL(LY POINTLESS) DIVAS
Y'know the 1 with the big tits who looks like she washed her hair in Snapple, and the small black 1 that sang at 'mania and done  fuck all else? and I don't care what they're names are, they'll be Future Endeavoured before the year is out.
AND FINALLY THE BIG ONE
THE HOMER (WREASTLER OF THE YEAR)
DANIEL BRYAN
It has being an emotional Journey for us, Despite every Set-back by Hunt-uh, Bryan has out performed so well, even outshining his prospective brother in law, John Cena, as well as the  increasingly Pragmatic and Lazy Blandy Bore-ton. With Bryan forced to Join the Wyatt family, there's only 1 conclusion to this course of action: both Men becoming main event sparring partners at Mania that will decide the future of the wwe title.

the flippies 2012

2012 was an eventful year, wrestlemania 28 was an apology for wrestlemania 27,it was a year of returns,repackages and debuts. It was the year a Hollywood sell-out became a beloved wrestler and the world rejoiced and a beloved wrestler became a Hollywood(well,Animal Planet!) sell-out and no-one noticed!
so with the new year started let's celebrate,slate and even defaecate on 2012 beginning with our first award.

THE DISCO STU(DEBUT OF THE YEAR)
CEST MIRACLE? NON! CEST CESERO!
The invasion of ring of honour wrestler into the 2 other Big Three companies continues with the likes of Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Necro butcher(now called Luke Harper),Chris hero. But it's The man whose real name is Claudio Castonogli (i hope i spelt it right!) who made real headway this year, winning the us championship from the always embarrassing SHITE-tino, for 100+ days the new Swiss champion has quicky become a marquee name on smackdown. Sadly the next opponent for cesero is the Great Krappi-a man who is re-emerging onto our screens again.

HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH!(EXIT OF THE YEAR)
ERIC YOUNG TRADES TAG TITLE FOR TROUT TACKLE
He may be the most underrated and loyal wrestler on the Impact roster but decade of shit gimmicks and missed opportunities (BRING BACK WORLD ELITE!) Finally took its toll, so when Eric sent Animal planet a pilot about his hobby of fishing, Discovery took the line. The Result?: a ratings topper a second series in the works and a tag title belt that means nothing. With Young written out it seems some-one must play the clown. I suggest the GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER!

MY PLANET NEEDS ME(GOOD RIDDANCE!)
MR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS: HOISTED BY HIS OWN PETARD!
It will come to no surprise that the man deserving this award was a man reviled by all who past through the doors of the fed in the last 18 years! but Johnny ace also became double general manager making even the casual mark despise him, thankfully triple h is now a suit and took his job, while he was completely written out after a match with John "I HATE BEING CALLED THE GOLDEN BOY, EVEN THOUGH I AM!" Cena!

MARGE VERSUS VIOLENT TELEVISION
FUNNIEST MOMENT(KANE IS GOING TO DISNEYLAND)
What started as a blatant de-push by Hunt-uh to make his BBF Lame-Arse champion at mania(17 SECONDS!?!?), Complete with what every wwe depush has, a rivalry and/or partnership with that Immobile slab of Meat, Kane. However if life gives you lemon make lemon pie to throw in peoples faces! A silly skit after winning the tag belts was immortalised forever by Dance and Crumble. THIS IS GENIUS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlhmK-mIWvg
You got four yesses, Dance and Crumble!
YOU'RE GOING TO BOOTCAMP!

THE 138TH (THE MATCH OF THE YEAR)
Congratulations to Impact wrestling! you finally won the big one by working hard! the winner is....
AUSTIN ARIES VS JEFF HARDY AT BOUND FOR GLORY
Jeff hardy is a polarising man. We never know which Jeff hardy will appear at any given time, Will it be Aerial artist that even after marriage and newborn child still has the women going wild or the drug taking mess that cares more about is "paintings" and puts on 19 second showings? His opponent: Austin Aries a man like Punk was atop of his game all year but more comfortable playing the heel, the two combustible components were set in the ring in October but it could has gone off, without a blasting cap full of Jealousy and when it went off the ring was set a blaze with energy,with passion,with emotional input and more importantly fantastic wrestling.

WORST! EPISODE! EVER!
TIE! THE AJ(STYLES) SCANDAL AND THE AJ(LEE) SCANDAL
Congratulations to Impact wrestling(!) You finally won the big one by working hard(!)
Never has a storyline being so bad that is was replicated and made worse! It started like most storylines with something good. At the first all cruiserweight Destination x Last year Styles and Daniels had a clinic "for the spirit of competition" which meant a heel turn whenever anyone says that! And sure enough FOURtune who by then actually had 4 members! imploded! Daniels even turns kaz against styles,who took a vow of silence and promised to break that silence if styles defeated him. In the 4-6 weeks this vow of silence stalled actual ideas for creative to make, in the end they pulled down their trousers, squatted down and "produced"...
AJ BANGING DIXIE CARTER
CUE THE FUCKING FACEPALMS
It was revealed that They were actually rehabbing a pregnant Crack-head named Claire Lynch.
Because if i was on crack i would totally asked help of a man whose job consists to travelling away from me and a women thick enough to hire Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo!

The Claire character was played by universal theme park employee and Actress Julia Reilly who previously worked as that park's Olive Oyl in the popeye Ride. when the smark humour site found photos of the fact they had a field-day!

Weeks later,word for word, scene by scene,WWE DID THE EXACT SAME STORYLINE...AND MADE IT WORSE!

DOCTOR MARVIN WAS SICK (RETURN OF THE YEAR)
And Holy Fuck didn't we have returns this year, But 1 return  was always going to win this. and that was....
PSYCHO SID VICIOUS!
Only joking!
It's was off course!
JERRY LAWLER DIES OF HEART ATTACK ON LIVE TV,SURVIVES!
Nothing was more shocking than hearing the abject silence and heavy breathing from lawler after his tag match this summer. Lawler seemed to be snoring into his mic but in fact was dying of a heart attack! he was clinicly dead for 20 minutes before responding to treatment. Of course the Jackasses in the news channels was ready to have yet another witch-hunt until Michael Cole,of all people painted Lawler in a heroic light. and speaking of heroic nothing better describes Lawler's return

THE AWARD FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE LISA FOR WORST FEMALE IS RENAMED THE BELLA AWARD....GUESS WHO IT GOES TO!
For the 3rd year running the Bella twins are the "standard-barriers" for the worst wrestlers in the world I'm sure after being future endevoured they are back where they belong...
At their waitressing jobs at Hooter's!

THE MARGE FOR BEST FEMALE GOES TO....NO-ONE!
IT FINALLY HAPPENED,PEOPLE! WOMEN WRESTLING ON TELEVISION IS OFFICALLY DEAD! A Shallow talent pool up North that resulted in Skank Skank, Both Bella Skanks and Layla the Failure becoming champions and Eve "Botch" Torres becoming the current champion (A.T.O.W.) those who could have being use to keep the ship afloat have left to raise families(Kharma) Disrespected backstage(Beth) or become terrible general managers whose main deciding tool has being a RIGGED Internet Poll (A.J. AND Who would really vote for  grown men to hug each other?)

Down south in TEEANDEH RASSLIN', IN DAT THERE THEME PARK, Nepotism saw its way for a failed POPSTAR to have creative control, Brooke Hogans first order of business, Hire Taryn "Tiffany" Terrell. Maybe she can give brooke advice to sell the knockout division for MAGIC BEANZ!

THE POOCHIE (WORST MALE WRESTER)
"GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER" JESSE GODDERZ
I BET THERE ARE GUYS IN IRISH WHIP GOING "OH HE'S GOOD!"

THE HOMER FOR BEST WRESTLER
YEAR OF THE PUNK
For 400 days the title has being tightly gripped by tattooed hands belonging to the man who is no longer the self proclaimed Best in the World. And though the heel turn was shocking, it was needed. One without Johnny Ace, Punk had no-one worthy to cross swords with. and 2, Best to get it out of the way, as long title reigns are usually hated. Familiarity breeds Contempt, and in a roster full of Golden boys,gobshites and Hunt-uh's Brown Tounge Brigade contempt is running wild. I think that punk should have a new theme. Phil like's his 80's pop and this should fit him like a glove?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x34icYC8zA0

Well that's it! I'll see you all at on the thursday after Genesis!