MLW BATTLE RIOT 7: FOCUS ON THE PYRO, WE HAVE PYRO!

 List of Champions-No Changes 

World's: Matt Riddle 

Openweight: Matthew Justice 

Middleweight: Mistico 

Tag: COZYMAX (Satoshi Kojima and Okamora)

Featherweight: Delmi Exo 

PREVIOUSLY ON MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING....

YOU DON'T CROSS THE BOSS....Not even a temporary one, as Matt Riddle will find out as tonight, he will put up his World's Title in the Battle Riot match, as per the edict by Eric Bischoff, forty men will Compete in a Battle Royal that is Unique in the wrestling world, a match were both Battle Royal and One fall Rules apply! The only thing Riddle has in his favour, is the luck of the draw, will he start the match at 1? Or will he have the easy defence of Being close to number 40 and a limited pool of foes to contend with?

We also have wrestlers from around the world,  As MLW's open door deal has brought us the young and talented Templario, who was going  to face Mistico for the Middleweight champion after the shock loss the Champion took in a tag match earlier this year. But sadly, Mistico was announced to have sustained an injury. While he will appear tonight, he will not compete and Templario's match is now a three-way. While we have other stars from south of the border, we also have broken down  trampoline cowboys and two JOOOOOSHEEEEE! NINTY POUND SCHOOLGIRL PRINCESSES! 

Opening segment, microphone picks up the producer shouting at the cameraman, for focusing on Jesus Rodriguez instead of the set's fireworks. Jesus introduces Cesar, who announces the return of Alexander Hammerstone, who will be in the Battle Riot later.

Austin Aries is back in MLW... And he's still a bitter little turnip eating man! 

Six man lucha match. Magnus, Barbario Cavarnario and Ultimo Guerrero vs Atlantis snr and Jr and a newly unmasked Star Jnr. Which is doing wonders for his career, as he's Mexican Fabio under that mask and the teeny poppers are catcalling him whenever he gesticulates to the crowd,which was 80 per cent of both lucha matches. Faces won.

Janai Kai, in her rehab to become top heel again, was feed a Japanese actress turned Wrestler, dressed like she was about to be a flower girl at a hippy wedding. 

Sessions with Saint Laurent, where the Portly Co founder and Legitimate promoter, Monsieur Saint Laurent, in a cast after Tom Lawlor broke his arm, interviewed him and his filthy bros Tag partner, the world's champion, Matt Riddle. MSL whines about his broken arm, but it's a trap! In the sling is a metal pipe. And MSL wails on Lawlor, as Dijak and the former Baron Corbin, Bishop Dyer, takes out the champ. 

Triple threat match, with Mistico and The House of Duran at ringside, watched Templario vs Hechicero vs Esfinge. And no Offence to fans of Esfinge, but he didn't belong in this match. Templario is the uncrowned number one contender and Hechicero is a great heel with a unique look. But this went from what could have been a good match to a move doer's convention, doing moves, (The finish was Templario tapping out Hechicero in an armbar combination that had looked phony)  to a complete afterthought when Mistico vacated his title, and it was stolen by Ikuro Kwan after he spat Red mist at Cesar.

We have a new Featherweight Champion....Shoko "Big Kaiju" Nakajima...a 5 foot, Outlaw, pudgy,  (So definitely not 90 pounds but still a Schoolgirl!) with furry gear and a Karen Haircut defeated Delmi Exo who looks like a Wrestler. This Shoko woman in her Kaiju Gimmick, has an entrance where she Tramples a cardboard city like Godzilla....and She got blown up by it! And THIS is your new champion? Just to contrive some shakeup In a 3 person division?

Battle Riot match for the World Championship 

#1 ALEX HAMMERSTONE

#2 THE FORMER JOBBER MAHAL RAJ DESHI

#3 ATLANTIS JR

Atlantis Came in to increase the pace of this match with big corner dropkicks to the two big men

#4 VIRUS

#5 JESUS RODRIGUEZ 

#6 STAR JR.

#7 ESFINGE

Esfinge sped out and did a Headscissors upon entry.

#8 IKURO KWAN

He came in, And Kicked everyone 

#9 BARBARIO CARBANARIO

He did a overcomplicated Suplex and then did the worm for no reason!

#10 BLUE PANTHER 

and the crowd loves this Indie Nobody Grandad! Everytime it looked like he was Going to be Eliminated, the crowd would react like Bambi's Mother was going to be shot!

#11 MAGNUS

Two cutters on Magnus Jnr, who is the first eliminated 

#12 BIG JUICY

Ikuro Kwan Submits and is eliminated, Followed by the top rope eliminations of Star, Bicarbonate Soda and Esfinge

#13 ULTIMO GUERRERO

#14 ATLANTIS

#15 HECHICERO

#16 OKAMURA 

Super Cozy cutter by the tag champion. Atlantis Submits

#17 ARIEL DOMINGUEZ 

The Smallest man in the ring nearly eliminates Raj Dhesi,

#18 MR THOMAS

The Fight Strategist Eliminated nearly all of the field-Okumura, Ultimo, Blue Panter, Magnus, Ariel, Hechicero, Jesus, Big Juicy and Jobber Me-Hole! Leaving Mr Thomas and Hammer left. Nightmare Pendulum Leaves both on the canvas.

#19 JOURNEY FATU

This is the debut of Jacob Fatu's Younger but certainly not Smaller Brother! Journey has 50 pounds on the Samoan Werewolf. Seeing a Fatu get up in his face, Hammer no doubt had Vietnam flashbacks to the Trilogy he had with Jacob.

#20 BOBBY FISH 

Mr Thomas Took out Fish with a Crossbody over the MIDDLE ROPE So he is not eliminated.

#21 CW ANDERSON

CW Comes in with a Wheelbrace (Read if American: Tire Iron) and swings at Thomas

#22 CHRIS ADONIS

Journey is eliminated

#23 PAUL WALTER HAUSER 

who comes in with a trolley full of weapons, which bites his in his sizable a*s when CW Uses his own pliers against him.

#24 BRG

Thomas leaves the ring again and attacks Gosseelin with a Kendo Stick

#25 MATT RIDDLE AND NOW THIS MATCH IS NOW FOR THE WORLD TITLE.

#26 BROCK ANDERSON

So the rogue Horsemen are in full number now. Mr Thomas is Eliminated but Continues to fight and interfere with the Rogue Horsemen.

#27 PAUL LONDON

Bobby Fish is eliminated by London, who attacks Mr Thomas for the assist to the elimination. Adonis is gone too!

#28 ALEX KANE 

Both Andersons and Hauser are eliminated but they join in on the brawl on the outside

#29 MATTHEW JUSTICE 

#30 KOJIMA

Matthew Justice is dumped into The shopping Trolley so no elimination. BRG IS NOT SO LUCKY!

#31 BISHOP DYER

The former Barren Foreskin eliminates London and Kane

#32 KUSHIDA 

#33 SHANE HASTE

Hauser takes out BRG In a table spot noone asked for!

#34 KRULE

He came in with a chainsaw! And everyone backed off, Except Justice with a WOODEN KENDO STICK! 

AGAINST A CHAINSAW!

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO WON THE PONY, THE KENDO STICK BROKE! And Justice was elimimated, but Krule had to drop the chainsaw to do so which meant the referees quickly confiscated it! Hammer was next to be eliminated.

#35 TOM LAWLOR, Who was Limping heavily, due to attack of this man...

#36 DIJAK

#37 ANTONY GREENE

Dijak eliminated Kushida and Haste.

#38 TITUS ALEXANDER 

#39 DR DAX

#40 RVD

Krule is eliminated, Dijak and Dire Bitch are eliminated by having their Momentum used against them. Now that it's Van Damme and Riddle, they salute their "Smoking Culture" and Have a one on one style match. But the champ wants to finish this early, hitting the final flash knee, A Suplex and heading to the top rope for the moonsault. RVD Kicks out and rallies and does his greatest Hits collection. After Rolling Thunder, He loads up the champ for the Five Star Frog Splash. But Riddle Comes to his senses and throws out RVD For the win!

Winner, and still Champion: Matt Riddle 

LIST OF CHAMPIONS-CHANGES IN CAPITALS!

World's: Matt Riddle 

Openweight: Matthew Justice 

MIDDLEWEIGHT: VACATED, CURRENTLY STOLEN!

Tag: COZYMAX (Satoshi Kojima and Okamora)

FEATHERWEIGHT: SHOKO NAKAJIMA

TASTE TEST 2K25: Eamonn reviews the REAL New Twister ( Twister Mallow)

 So....what else can I tell you but

Back in February, I Reviewed Twister Sour N Sweet, convinced it was the new flavour for Twister for this year.

It wasn't!

And here is why you are constantly behind the eight ball, when reviewing limited edition food every year.

As it stands here in Ireland,  Petrol Stations will only turn on their Soft serve Ice-cream machines in March. In kind,  ice cream vans will their make journeys at the same time. 

To that end, the Icecream companies would reveal their new products a month before, usually by a brand new Pricelist/Display with the new fare front and centre. 

OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE!

No Instead, they shadowdropped the new Magnums. In February, given how popular Chill and Euphoria were, they had slots to fill with new Product. 

Twister Mallow was not ready. So they gave the shops here More of the Twisters that were previously limited to bump up numbers and I fell for it. Until they supplied the new Pricelist this month.

And even then, there is still no Single Purchase version of Twister Mallow. I'm Reviewing the Multipack mini version. But I resolved a long time ago to Not give the People Exactly what they want, But to give them Something! As Such I'm reviewing 2 mini Twisters of the new flavour for a Equal experience but allowances of size and Number had to be made.

2 MINI TWISTER MALLOWS

Packaging: Clear Plastic

Calorie Count: Two 43 Calorie Mini Ice-pops eating in Quick Succession to Mimic eating a full sized Item!

Flavour: Vegan Pea Protein Marshmallow and Strawberry ice Spirals Entwine a Purple Grape Core.

Taste: Bizzare...In a Good way!

The Marshmallow, In conjunction with the Strawberry ice, when Thawed in the Mouth gives the illusion of a Strawberry Milkshake, which Then Yields into A punch of Purple Grape Which is oddly bitter, but Refreshing. If The Full sized Item is anything to go by, then counting the Magnum Utopias which I already Tested. Heartbeat International are 3 for 3 for Great Icecream flavours!

And that's It for Now!

Monday will see the results of the Battle Riot. And then it's onto Wrestlemania. With the announcement of the Switch 2 will we see a Smash 6? If it get announced? Well, I've been holding back on a tier list like the young'uns have being making on Youtube for a while and It's being too long since Theme Month, (Tarotober was 2 years ago!) But I'll go it more in my Summer Schedule....Only If Smash 6 Gets announced!

Follow me on twitter (Still there for Now!) @RealEnli

MLW INTIMIDATION GAMES 2025: MARCH SADNESS

 List of Champions-No Changes 

World's: Matt Riddle 

Openweight: Matthew Justice 

Middleweight: Mistico 

Tag: COZYMAX (Satoshi Kojima and Okamora)

Featherweight: Delmi Exo 

Filmed as the preliminary matches of Superfight, this is Intimidation Games. 

Ariel Dominguez vs. Okamura had a Sunday Night heat Squash match, where Okamura got over. 

Rogue Horseman are backstage, and Bobby Fish has gone grey in the month we saw him last, Maybe he spent all night reading all the people on twitter calling out his bomb shelter ilk like his Carpool buddy Drake Wuertz. Brett Ryan Gosselin comes in, with some feathers still stuck to him from the Honey trap match.

First blood tag match for the number one contenders spot between Bomaye Fight Club vs The Andersons. With BRG cooking on commentary. This made sense to go to the outside quickly, as unlike The Knight/Kenta Match, these factions have been fueding for months. Mr Thomas hit a fine Crossbody from the crowd balcony.  And even Faye Jackson got in on the action. BRG tried to interfere but was taken out.  C.W was busted up by Alex Kane to mark a dub for the Bomaye in Atlanta.

Featherweight Championship match Tara Zep vs Delmi Exo. Tara Zep is the female Ultimate Warrior-Great entrance, and nothing else. Most of her "Offence" was gro*ing and Licking Delmi. She took one Delmi Driver and it was done! Now Delmi can focus on the other 2 girls in division....well, 3, Big Kaiju is still coming to MLW 

Templario backstage. He still wants Mistico at Battle Riot.

Four-way openweight match...Lazy booking Between Akira, Paul Walter Hauser and Bobby Fish vs The Openweight champion, Matthew Justice. It was Hardcore bullsh*t from the Jump even without weapons, everyone slid in and out the ring to cooperate spots. Matthew Justice retains.

After the match, Matthew Justice gives Paul Walter Hauser his props for taken this seriously despite been a Actor. Gosselin in the crowd insults the faces. And tells Hauser he is only over because the fans laugh at him, that he's  made a Career as a comic relief typecast, that it shows in his wrestling. Hauser responds by saying the biggest joke is the character who doesn't know he's a joke, and that's BRG! Security comes out and enters the ring. Brett is right Hauser says, he's  made a lot of money acting and collecting a cheque for MLW, But he didn't buy friends like Gosselin, who  laughs and grins that its funny you said that! Money can Buy Friends but it can also buy convenience. That's when "Security " take off their shirts to reveal Horseman shirts. And the goons attack All the faces. One hell of a segment!

Cesar reveals what he stole back from the contracts Eric Bischoff stole! They were in fact Majority Shares. Which because of good faith from Court Bauer, Cesar Duran has signed them and is now matchmaker and President. Dario proposes to Salina, who only accepts when she sees the size of Dario's Ring (PAUSE!) and Cesar faints like a sitcom dad!

Tables turn on Bischoff...Alex Kane is reinstated and Bischoff is kicked out of the arena!

Neon vs Kushida. I wanted so bad for Kushida to be rehabed after his pathetic stint in Nxt 2.0, but he's still dressing like Marty McFly. Nothing to say but flippies and Dippies in the Graveyard Spot they took forever. 

Neon is taken under the wing of Mistico and Mascara Dorada.

Backstage Riddle presents Lawlor with a mock up of Michealangelo's Creation of Man. I didn't know Don Callous Took Commissions!

Tag match main event erupts into chaos. It was The Filthy Bros, Matt Riddle and Tom Lawlor vs Ikuro Kwan and Mads Krule Kruger. No point going over this. It was a no contest when all the roster who will compete in the battle riot had a big brawl, and we will see you all at the royal rumble....er....Battle Riot!

That'll be April the 5th, with results here on the 7th. The Battle Riot as I joked above is Major League's version of the Royal Rumble, which I will watch live!

TASTE TEST 2K25: PRINGLES X SUPER MARIO FLAVOUR

Two Moustachioed Icons Collide,  as Super Mario warps from a Green Pipe to A Tube of Mystery Pringles in a supermarket you!

PRINGLES X SUPER MARIO MYSTERY FLAVOUR 

Tube Appearance: Metallic Silver, almost as a reference to the Nintendo S.N.E.S. Where usually a cartoon of the ingredients would be, A Mario Coin Block with a Question mark floats in the void, on the back is the official Nintendo product Stamp of Authenticity. 

Calorie Count: 158 in a 30g serving, the Item contains 5 servings. 

Taste: The Mystery flavour had to be themed to Mario to work, So going in blind, I expected this item to be either A) some kind of Italian Dish or B) a Mushroom dish, but given that mushrooms don't exactly translate into crisp flavours, its going to be linked to Mario via his nationality as an Italian or Italian-American.

Before I tasted these, I read through Ingredients to somehow guess what this was. So apart from the things you'd expect,  what  caught my eye was meat extract, tomato extract, Garlic, chilli and Jalapeño powders.

An Italian dish with Meat, Garlic and Tomatoes 

But it was the spices that sealed it for me and  despite the omission of Actual cheese in the ingredients,  I am convinced the flavour is...

PEPPERONI DEEP DISH PIZZA!

While I can't taste cheese, the snack is vegetarian, not Vegan, and given a real Deep Dish pizza  is Passata covering the cheese, not the other way around, the overpowering Spices and tomato is understandable if it's there. I was convinced for a while, the flavour  could be Spaghetti and meatballs, but the meat  flavouring they used is unmistakably Pork and Pepperoni spices, but Spaghetti and meatballs was a possibility. 

And that's it for now. I'll be back next month over at Bogger Box office to review Kneecap. And here to review Intimidation Games a fortnight later.

Taste test 2K25: Magnum Utopia and Twister Sour and sweet

 (This Post was formerly an apology post due to my smartphone being broken and needing to replaced. as Mentioned, that post was always going to be replaced by this one.)

Welcome back or to Enlightened Towers...Where it's my 16 year anniversary!

And as such, it's time for our traditional food review, the 1st review I ever did when this was the direction I wanted to go online. With a food review.  Specifically,  Heartbeat international's Ice-cream for the European Market!

FRUIT ZINGER TWISTER SOUR AND SWEET

Flavour: Green Apple, Lemon and Blueberry 

Wrapper Appearance: Light Purple wrapper and everything is par the course. Photo of Item lunges out of a Kika, 2 closeups of the Item act as a border and photos of the fruits involved and the bragging of the lack of Artificial Flavours. Though 65 calories is the lightest this 72g Item has ever been.

Taste: the lemon and Green Apple,  especially the Apple spirals are toe-curlingly sour, though the Blueberry is a Reprieve from Complete Acidity, and ties the two together in a consistent Flavour profile throughout. Will definitely recommend this Flavour on a hot day.

MAGNUM UTOPIA DOUBLE CHERRY

Flavour: Blackcurrant& Raspberry marbled Ice-cream, in a layer of Cherry sauce and Covered in a shell of milk chocolate which is embedded with dried summer fruits. The 71g

Wrapper Appearance: Item, A Blob of cherry sauce and a trio berries lie on a pink square on a wrinkled piece of pink Fabric. 

Calorie Count: 213

Taste: The Fruity and rich cocoa Aroma are tempting me while observing to write this paragraph, waiting no longer, I bite into the Item. The chocolate shell adds more crunch than the little pellets of dried fruit that also have little flavour. However that thankfully cannot be said for the cherry sauce that kicks like a mule on first bite. Raspberry and Blackcurrant ice cream rippled with vanilla is sweet and Satisfying til the final bite. A wonderful little treat!

MAGNUM UTOPIA DOUBLE HAZELNUT 

Flavour: Hazelnut & Almond Caramel Marbled Ice-cream,  covered in salted hazelnut Glaze, in enclosed in white chocolate with pieces of hazelnuts,  pistachio and Almonds within.

Wrapper Appearance: Item,  A Blob of caramel and a trio of nuts lie on a Sepia Square on a wrinkled golden Fabric 

Calorie Count: 245 in a 70 and a half gram Item.

Taste: Sadly, the Item I bought has cracks and caramel leaking through the surface, so cannot  judge on Appearance, so straight to taste.

The caramel sauce is sweet, and it takes some time to register that it has a Salty Element to it. The Hazelnut & Caramel Ice-cream, I was dreading that it was going to be Heavy, but gladly no. Usually nut based Ice-cream feels like bowling ball after you eat it, but surprisingly this was light, despite being the most Calorific of this year's limited editions.

And that will do it for the Ice-cream review. But I am not done with food reviews!

Join me Next week when I review the Pringles/ Super Mario Mystery Flavour collab.

MLW SUPERFIGHT 6: HONEY AND NUTTERS!

 List of champions-No changes 

World's Matt Riddle 

Openweight Matthew Justice 

Middleweight Mistico 

Tag COZYMAX Satoshi Kojima and Okamura 

Featherweight Delmi Exo 

Eric Bischoff is back and will announce he has a special surprise regarding Battle Riot at the end of the show. Bomaye and Alex Kane comes out to brag that Riddle Got him back into the company after Eric Fired him in December. Eric Goads Kane to touch him except if he does, he's fired on the spot.

First was a Lucha tag match : Esfinge and Templario Vs Mascara Dorado and Mistico. Crowd was into this match, even if I wasn't. While it started as a Big Daddy Tag match where he would team with a low card face and have him beaten up til he got a hot tag and the glory, It became a match where Mistico, unlike Big Daddy, got everyone else over! Including Taking the pin for the Debuting Templario after he hit Carmello Hayes' finish onto The middleweight champion.

After the Match, Templario demands a title shot from Cesar Duran and despite Mistico's demands for the match to be right now, Cesar books it for Battle Riot.

Tom Drombroski interviews Delmi Exo, but is attacked by Some Women in Rosemary's Gimmick and Halloween makeup. Also Christian Cole Needs Elocution Lessons. He said her Name 3 Different times and I couldn't make out what her name was. Tara Zepp? Terrazemp? Tezra Zip? I am not wasting my google search on a overrated Indie Girl stealing other established Woman's Gimmick!

Contra Vs The Filthy Bros will main event the Intimidation Games special on March 8th. I will have deferred coverage days later.

Kevin Knight Vs Kenta was not good. The new Kid on New Japan's block vs Mr NEW JAPAN Himself! And the reason this match could be better is that both wrestlers went into the crowd and the ref just stood there, He didn't even start Counting and this was not even a Grudge match to warrant such a spot. Also they didn't announce that this match was No Dq, it just happens. And don't give me that excuse that When New Japan guys wrestle in MLW, they Defer to a 20 Count for Disqualification for them and only them-THE RING ANNOUNCER MUST TELL THE CROWD AND THE PEOPLE AT HOME THAT IS THE CASE! And when they came back in the ring this was not a wrestling match, this was Move-Doers Doing Moves! Kenta Wins with Go to Sleep after both tripped and stumbled on the middle rope.

After the match Kenta makes his world title aspirations clear 

Backstage With Eric Bischoff and hey, Doug Dillinger is still alive!- he's thinner though, Eric sees smoke in his Office and finds Lawlor and Riddle Smoking the Wacky Baccy! Eric throws them out and  and Doug Tell Bischoff that Alex Kane is on the rampage, causing him to rush out, and not see Cesar Stealing Back the Document Eric Stole at the end of Last Year.

Video package on Rogue Horsemen/Paul London feud. 

Honey Trap match....Can I NAME THIS THE WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR ALREADY? For those who don't know, This was a version of the Tar and Feather match, sans the Tar! When Paul London came out as a Beekeeper, I Knew Maryjane Stole his Brain! If any match has to have a Kiddie Pool on Standby, Leave it alone! Brett Ryan Goseleen was Attacked by every Run-in Face and was Pinned so he had to be submerged in Honey, but as the Heel refused until he was beaten up and dumped in Honey and covered in Feathers by London and Paul Walter Houser! Terrible.

A new JOSHEEEEE SCHOOLGIRL PRINCESS IS COMING! AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY! THE GUMPTION, THE GALL OF IT ALL! TO CALL THIS 5FT GIRL "BIG KAIJU"

Tom Lawlor Vs Dijak had a good competitive match. The crowd came unglued when Lawlor lifted up the Big Man the first time. Good match with great back and Forth could have gone either way. And Great use of a heel Manager, Who affected the Turn of the match, Lawlor got measure of revenge after MSL Got attention from the ref, and Lawlor paid for it with a Feast your Eyes

Aftermath with them and Monsieur Saint Laurent. Dijak is announced for the battle riot. Lawlor returns and gets back into it with Saint Laurent Until Dijak returns!

Janai Kai Feeds on a Jobber! After the match, Contra attacks refs and Security and Krule gets on the mic and......SHEESH....Now we know why the promos are pre-recorded!

Triple threat match for the heavyweight championship, Matt Riddle faces Both his Predecessors, The name he Bet, Satoshi Kojima, and the man who held this belt exactly one year ago, Alex Kane. Typical 3 Way one fall LAAAAAZZZZY BOOKING! But at least it started with some aggression with Alex Kane spearing The champ on the opening bell. Good Action with everyone hitting their moves and showing off their particular styles. Kojima with The Japanese Strong Style, the Hard Punches and Burning Chops, Riddle with MMA holds and Alex Kane with pure Wrestling! Finish was weak, Matt hits a final Flash Knee and fell into a Pinfall. It smelled like the ref was told to go home so they could cut to a big screen promo.

AND THAT'S WHAT THEY DID!

Backstage Eric Bischoff announces the 40 man Battle Riot match is for the World Championship. So I would Update the Championship belt to Say that the World's Belt is VACANT! But I'm sure the Filming for Intimidation Games will Show him still with the Belt.

So the road to 600 Posts continues and will not be stopping anytime soon! As Tomorrow the Yearly Tradition of the Icecream Review Returns!

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2025: SHOCKER OF THE YEET!

 Originally this post working title was going to be called "The Reassuring Comfort of Predictable Booking". After all, The event prior to the main event  was predictable, Charlotte returned to make sure at least one of the Women's Divisions is the Charlotte Division, Neither one of the Title matches changed hands, lest they take focus from the main event. But who predicted THAT person to win?

Women's Rumble 2025

#1 IYO SKY (DAMAGE CTRL)

#2 CHICKEN WAITRESS Liv Morgan (JUDGEMENT DAY)

And we start this event not only at 11pm Irish time, (Seriously, I was not expecting this show to be this early, I thought the 11pm start was a pre show!) but this show also started...with hair pulling!

#3 ROXANNE PEREZ (NXT)

Headscissors and a double DDT just in the opening minute. Perez may be Main roster bound after this showing.

#4 LYRA VALKARYA (WOMEN'S IC CHAMP)

Lyra suffers a near wardrobe malfunction and Perez takes advantage.

#5 JOBBER'S WIFE Chelsea Green (WOMEN'S US CHAMP)

And Chelsea starts slapping everyone, and this sets wrestling back 15 years.

#6 and #7 B-FAB (SD!)AND IVY NILE (AMERICAN MADE)

Suplex city, Bi-You know what, Never mind! 

GRAMPA ZOEY (PURE FUSION COLLECTIVE)AND LASH LEGEND (NXT) Are next!

B-FAB Is eliminated.

#10 BIANCA BELAIR (WOMEN'S TAG CHAMPIONS)

Bianca did a spot, that she should never do again. Yes I'm taking about the four heel girls cooperating to do a repeated mounted turnbuckle, and flip spot, where a heel tried to attack Bianca, only for them to be crammed in a corner to be punched. It looked fake, and I'm sure other people  have said the same.

#11 SHAYNA BAZSLER (PFC)

Bazsler shows off her MMA Prowess.

Lyra gets eliminated by Nile, who will probably challenge her at mania.

#12 BAYLEY (SD) AND 13 IS SONYA DEVILLE (PFC)

Deville's Advocate on Green and the Pure Fusion Collective are working together.

#14 MAXINE DUPREE (ALPHA ACADEMY)

Maxine gets a measure of Revenge on Nile, who gets Eliminated and then she's gone 

#15 NAOMI (TAG CHAMPION) 

With both Tag champions in, all 3 of P.F.C are eliminated.

#16 JAIDA PARKER (NXT)

Lash is eliminated.

#17 PIPER Who accidentally eliminated Green, despite being her Stooge!

ENTRANT #18 NATTIE, AND 19 NEW WWE SIGNING JORDYNNE GRACE! 

Only a matter of time she calls one of the 3 brands her home. 

Parker is Eliminated, Death valley driver by Grace on Piper. Naomi and Grace hug they know each other from TNA...Only for Bianca to get jealous! Ok a story brewing her.

#20 MICHIN ....who is not having a good night being whipped from pillar to post on her turn.

#21 ALEXA BLISS IS BACK IN AN ENTRANCE SO LONG, IT GOES INTO ZELINA VEGA'S ENTRANCE 

Code Red by Zelina.

NEXT 3 ARE MRS SAMEFACE, STEPHANIE VAQUER AND HALL OF FAMER TRISH STRATUS.

Trish looks like she could make another go around.

#26 RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ (JUDGEMENT DAY)

NATTIE is Eliminated, so is Bliss.

#27 CHARLOTTE FLAIR (SD)

Flair chops to everyone. Michin and Piper are eliminated.

#28 GUILIA (NXT WOMEN'S CHAMPION)

IYO and GUILIA have unfinished Business  it seems.

#29 POTATO JAX! (SD!)

Zelina is out, so is Sameface after trying to blindside Trish, who is then eliminated.

ENTRANT 30 NIKKI BELLA! (HOF)

Final Eliminations in order

Vaquer, Sky, Bianca, Naomi, Raquel and Liv all at once by Jax!

Guilia

Bayley

Nikki

Nia

WINNER OF THE WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE: CHARLOTTE  

Street Profits Screw MCMG out of the belts then attack DIY, because it was the champions who took them out. Looks like the tag belts are going to be lost in a multi team LAAAAZY BOOKING in April!

Cody Rhodes dahm near k*lls Kevin Owens to retain WWE undisputed championship! With Sami Zayn playing Pacifist by not acting to Seeing Owens' head being turned into a Human Easter Egg

Men's Rumble

#1 REY MYSTERIO

#2 PENTA 

Don't lie! You wanted this to happen! You dreamt that this was going to be a match

#3 CHAD GABLE (AMERICAN MADE)

Gable is just a Lucha Whipping boy in this match!

#4 CARMELLO HAYES (SD)

Flying headscissors by Hayes on Penta, then a German Suplex.

#5 SANTOS ESCOBAR (LEGATO DEL PHANTASMA)

Santos does a 619 on Rey to boos, and he then does a Mexican Destroyer to Penta. All other four men Superkick Gable. And it's about to get worse for him

#6 BLOATIS (AMERICAN MADE)

Suplex on by Chad on Otis, who then Torture Rack.

#7 BRON BREAKKER (INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION)

Carmello and Santos is Eliminated.

#8 AKIRA TOZAWA

And he's taken out by Carmello,

So instead,.....

Instead we have the L***N P**L's CRIME Hydration minion 

#8 iTouchMyMeat

BLOATIS and the literal Internet W**Ker are eliminated.

#9 SHEAMUS (RAW)

Irish Curse Backbreaker and a Brogue. 

#10 JIMMY USO (SD)

Uso in the Wind is a stupid name for a move. Sure the Hardys may never return to WWE, but still changing their move names is not right, when they make no sense.

#11 ANDRADE (SD)

Meteora to Gable

#12 JACOB FATU (SD)

Double Samoan Drop, and Fatu is on a tear, Rey, Gable and Andrade Eliminated.

#13 KAISER IS ELIMINATED BY PENTA AFTER A MINUTE OF STALLING 

#14 GOBSHITE FROM MTV AND SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS

NUMBER 15 IS TNA CHAMPION JOE HENDRY AND THEN ROMAN REIGNS

Miz, Sheamus and Hendry are eliminated. Bron Spears Roman to a massive reaction. Bron is eliminated after, but what a moment for a star on the up! Then Jimmy is eliminated.

#17 DREW MCINTYRE (RAW)

Drew and Jacob have a temporary alliance over their hatred of Roman.

#18 FINN BALOR (JUDGEMENT DAY)

Why debut new Music at this event of all places? When you know the crowd won't react if you are not a brand new star when they hear it?

#19 SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (US CHAMPION)

Penta is eliminated 

#20 JEY USO (RAW)

Nakamura is Eliminated 

#21 AJ STYLES (SD) (WITH HIS FACE MUSIC NO LESS!) Baseball Slide by Styles

#22 PROUD BOY BRAUN (RAW)

FATU is Eliminated and he's not a happy bunny 

#23 JOHN CENA (LEGEND)

Braun and Finn are eliminated 

#24 CM PUNK (RAW)

Now Roman, Cena and  Punk see each other and have a Standoff, do you know what will make it better?

#25 SETH ROLLINS (RAW)

BINGO!

And Seth goes straight to Punk.

#26 DOMINIK (JUDGEMENT DAY)

#27 SAMI, 28 DAMIAN PRIEST (SD)

South of heaven to Dom, who gets Eliminated.

#29 LA KNIGHT (SD)

Sami is eliminated 

#30 L***N P**L (RAW)

ORDER OF ELIMINATIONS 

Drew

Priest 

Knight

Styles

Rollins 

Reigns,

Punk

SCUMBAG!

CENA?

WINNER OF THE MEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE: JEY USO? Who saw this coming? Jey must have sold more T-shirts to surpass the planned retirement of Cena but then you remember he's going to be in Toronto for quote "HIS LAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH" Not last elimination chamber PLE.

Well that's it!

Watching payperview on Netflix is a runaway success! Join me Next Monday for results of MLW Superfight!