Phoenix month:Wrestling Horses for Curses

ATM ERIC
the creature that pauperised many a punter in 2001 remains making no friends Down South.Once considered a revolutionary after T.Turner replaced Pizza Hut Pissant,the now grey creature saw his stock plummet in the Ratings Chase, where failing to wrangle rivals Young Talent and Big Egos seem to undermine his authority

EVE OF MEDIOCRITY
A pretty chestnut haired filly that despite being champion has a lot to learn. she was a surprise entrant in the Royal rumble outing where she bested Bony Bitch, Fake Brit and Queen of Harts for the Garish Butterfly Trophy. "Yeah she's a pretty show-horse, but she's not worth the wild oats i put in her every night!" exclaimed Johnny Ace.

TWITTER TWIT
The ultimate "talking horse"'s monthly promises of a "BIG SOORPRISE!", only to fail to deliver irked many a fan. especially her outing at 10.10.10 had fans (or are they cast members?) tear up tickets (if they weren't free to begin with) the progeny of Idiot Heiress, out of Her Depth had many people asking "IZ DIS REAL?"
"She got involved with Random Thugs and Hardy Any Food Left. they then Destroyed Punchbag Serge in front of her, bruther! she easily gave Grapefruit Vinny another win, Dude!" recalls tipster Mr T. Bollea

UNSOLD WWESHOP ITEMS (PARODY)

Welcome back to Theme Month

this month's theme wrestling satire in the form of Irish satire magazine, the Phoenix.

JOHN CENA VACUUM CLEANER
HEY KIDS! Clean your room with the power of HUSTLE, LOYALTY, RESPECT, And other words that meant something before becoming t-shirt slogans. behold the most effiecent hoover on the market, you can push John cena as hard as you might, he STILL SUCKS!
(WARNING: JOHN CENA IS SUPER-EFFECTIVE IN SUCKING UP PARENTS MONEY!)

BEST OF TYLER REXS DVD
CALLING ALL TYLER REXS FANS! BOTH OF YOU! HIS MAMMY AND HIS DADDY!
Relive the career of everyone's favourite Dreadlocked, plane-hating, talentless Slab of meat! dvd includes

• vs masters
• vs masters (again)
• vs masters for a 3rd time
• vs nameless jobber(20 such matches)
• and the entire freakout on a plane(the only time he's being entertaining!)

WADE BARRET BOTTLE OPENER
At a wwe show? Need a beer to make the cena match more tolerable? But whats this? Can't get the top of the bottle? WELL FEAR YE NOT! FOR THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE BLOWING! and who else can smell them from a million miles away but Wade Barret? Simply place the bottle under Wades nose and much like wades push-BOTTOMS UP!