In the Steel cage match, Bryan was lucky to fall from big show's grip, rather than i don't know-be booked to WRESTLE!
The heel divas won against the face divas in an 8-person tag. Beth and Nattie did all the work as the Bellas seemed more occupied with the cumbersome ribbons in their hair.
Kane vs Cena was deemed a no contest, when Kane destroyed Zack Ryder again.
drew was squashed by brodus. I can't believe how over Clay is.
Ziggler gave it his all but was unsuccessful in reaching his goal against C M Punk. it was such a good match. Laurinitaus, fearing his job safety was forced to call it down the middle.
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
ENTRANT#1 GOBSHITE FROM MTV
Best rumble ever! There'll be no repeat of "Waste-of-A-Mania" this year.
ENTRANT#2 ALEX RILEY
...And in 2 seconds riley is eliminated.
ENTRANTS 3 AND 4 WERE R-TRUTH AND CODY RHODES
Beuatiful disaster on Truth.
ENTRANTS 5 AND 6 WERE GABRIEL AND PRIMO
Truth is eliminated but gives miz the Little Jimmy to the outside.
ENTRANT#7 MICK FOLEY
Primo is eliminated
ENTRANT#8 Making an entrance in a busted up Datsun. and using his boss' music
RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
This is ricardo's face turn. he bet up rhodes to seal it. and elimed justin
ENTRANT#9 SANTINO
Ricardo is eliminated.
ENTRANT#10 EPICO
Miz and rhodes are back in and foley epico and santino are eliminated.
ENTRANT #11 KOFI KINGSTON
and hits the Boom drop.
ENTRANT #12 JERRY LAWLER
Fist drop and then he is eliminated, returning to the announcer table.
NEXT 3 ZEKE, MAHAL AND OUT FOR REVENGE ON HIM, KHALI
Jinder is eliminated. then zeke.
HUNICO IS NEXT FOLLOWED BY BOOKER T
Kofi is thrown out but does a handstand to stay in!
NEXT 2 DOLPH AND HACKSAW!
Hacksaw is eliminated then booker and khali.
ENTRANT 20: MICHEAL "ATOMIC HEATZ" COLE
ENTRANT 21: KHARMA And Cole is eliminated then Hunico.
but then she's eliminated
ENTRANT 22: SHEAMUS
Kofi is eliminated.
ENTRANT 23-26 WERE ROAD DOGG, JEY USO, THWAGGER, BARRETT.
Dogg is eliminated
NEXT ARE DAVID SHITUNGA & BLANDY BORE-TON
Double rope ddt
Uso and barrett are done.
NUMBER 29: CHRIS JERICHO
Shitunga is eliminated
AND FINALLY THE BIG SHOW AT 30!
ORDER OF FINAL ELIMS.
SWAGGER
RHODES
MIZ!
ZIGGLER
SHOW
ORTON
JERICHO
WINNER OF THE 2012 RUMBLE: SHEAMUS HAS BECOME THE FIRST IRISH MAN AND FIRST EUROPEAN TO WIN THE RUMBLE, BUT DONT COUNT OUT JERICHO JUST YET!
SO THE SMACKDOWN MAIN EVENT FOR WRESTLEMANIA IS IRONICLY THE MATCH THEY CANCELLED LAST YEAR!
SHEAMUS VS DANIEL BRYAN(C)
I DOUBT THEY WILL TURN THAT INTO A DVD EXTRA!
Well that's it!
Showing posts with label year three. Show all posts
Showing posts with label year three. Show all posts
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
THE FLIPPIES 2011
It's that time of year again where we look back at the year past and ask...what Gobshite tought Michael Cole wrestling was a good idea?
Yes its the return of my awards post the flippies. and we start with a new Simpsons-theme award.
DOCTOR MONROE WAS SICK!
(RETURN OF THE YEAR: THE ROCK)
When the wwe website revealed that Mania was going to have a host, the entire IWC groaned with indifference. the rumour was Justin bieber was to perform. So when the rocks music roared through the arena the crowd came unglued.Despite an absence of 7 years. Johnson had the same energy and charisma that his rival john cena would kill for.
MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION
(FUNNIEST THING OF THE YEAR: Z! TRUE LONG ISLAND STORY)
With nothing more than a camera, his friends and i guess $20 dollars worth of props, Zack showed us that if given the screen time, he can be entertaining. the massive cult following turned the one-time jobber into an internet star and eventually the current (at time of writing) U.S. champ. It just goes to show that if you put your heart into believing in something, that it pay-off big time in the long run.
WORST.EPISODE.EVER!
(STUPIDEST THING THIS YEAR)
I should put Michael Cole. but i was going to induct a promo when Brie was champion who said she wanted to draft all her competition to smackdown,despite the fact that the Diva's belt is DUAL-BRANDED! It had to be stupidity incarnate to top that! so this ham-fisted manouver wins . It is of course...
MATT HARDY FAKES SUICIDE ON FACEBOOK!
To all wrestlers following in Z-ryde's footsteps. Don't become Fatt Lardy! the former Impact wrestler lost his job by posting message which fans deemed suicidal. Even his closest friends were worried that Lardy had gone to all night diner in the sky.Hardy was fined for Misdeminour wasting police time.
But the stupidy from hardy didnt stop this year. 3 months ago hardy was photoshopped-imean photographed naked with new girlfriend Reby sky. Many people didn't think it was him but i'm convinced it was.
His Rolls where covering her boobs!
HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH!
(best exit or most awesome thing)
HUNT-UH VERSUS UND-UH TAK-UH...10 YEARS LATE-UH!
Despite me calling it Waste-of-a-Mania by me on wrestling united, One match was fun to watch. And if you thought that a match between 2 top draws and not for any title would be a phoned-in affair...
you were sadly mistaken!
MAUD'S FUNERAL
(SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR)
EDGE RETIREMENT
Admit it! you never saw it coming!
After retaining the title at mania and keeping ADR'S Destiny at bay, the fact that the next night edge came out in street clothes was a worrying sight.
And we were right to be worried.
As Edge's Pelvis was so damaged, if it took another heavy knock, he could be paralysed, In a wheelchair or worst case scenario,Dead. but for his services in the ring it had being announced that Edge is the first inductee into the WWE HALL OF FAME CLASS 0F 2012!
THE HOMER(WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
Despite James storm,Bobby Roode and ADR Having their first world's title reigns and a consistant string of 4-5 star matches all year, 2011 was Year of The Punk! With his contract expiring Punk came down and Shot a Promo so legendary, Veterern Sports hack Jim Rome thought it was real! Yeah it was a worked shoot, but admit it! you enjoyed every minute of it!
THE POOCHIE
(WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
MICHAEL COLE
It started innocently enough.To build up the identity of the General Manager(who was anticlimaticly revealed to be johnny ace!) Mick Cole The Dick-hole became drunk on power. all year Cole has annoyed,enraged and embarrassed fans who payed €22 this year to watch "WASTE-OF-A-MANIA" on box office. From having a man-crush on GOBSHITE FROM MTV!,to being a total mark for wwe whenever Daniel Bryan had an iota of success. While the push to announce on both shows seems to be permanent, Please cole stick to announcing. IT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT! BARELY!
THE MARGE
(BEST WOMEN WRESTLER)
Congrats to Beth phionex, the most strongest most beutiful flower to grow from the pot of dirt that is Women wrestling in this decade. Expect a long reign and a face turn from compentant heels like Tamina and Nattie just to make the title mean something again. But that what happens when you give the title to the likes of Kelly, Eve "Botch" Torres, and Brie bella (all three who may or may not have f**ked Johnny ace for their jobs!) honourable mentions for gail kim, Nattie and A.J Lee. no-one else did anything of merit this year.
THE LISA
(WORST FEMALE)
FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING ITS THE BELLA TWINS
But don't worry girls, i heard Hooters is STILL rehiring!
MY PLANET NEEDS ME!
(GOOD RIDDANCE!)
MICHELLE MCTAKER QUITS VIA TWITTER!
Fellow members of the IWC! WE HAVE THE POWER TO BUILD CAREERS LIKE ZACK'S, WE ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO TEAR THEM DOWN!
In a move that will eventually see her quit the 'E in spectacular form! Michelle mcCool joined twitter. was illundated by tweets that stated the obvivious that marriage to taker has gave backstage power and her long title reign was due to her abusing that power rather than beating her opponents. (how many times this year did she win due to interference from Layla,Dq or Count-out? too many too count) Despite saying that she has left due to "a pile-up of injuries". the I.WC Can say that the quality of wrestling has went up a notch. To Notch 1. Ces't la vie.
Drop me a line at http://www.youtube/user/ThePathofenlightment
And will see you soon for results on the royal rumble.
Yes its the return of my awards post the flippies. and we start with a new Simpsons-theme award.
DOCTOR MONROE WAS SICK!
(RETURN OF THE YEAR: THE ROCK)
When the wwe website revealed that Mania was going to have a host, the entire IWC groaned with indifference. the rumour was Justin bieber was to perform. So when the rocks music roared through the arena the crowd came unglued.Despite an absence of 7 years. Johnson had the same energy and charisma that his rival john cena would kill for.
MARGE VS VIOLENT TELEVISION
(FUNNIEST THING OF THE YEAR: Z! TRUE LONG ISLAND STORY)
With nothing more than a camera, his friends and i guess $20 dollars worth of props, Zack showed us that if given the screen time, he can be entertaining. the massive cult following turned the one-time jobber into an internet star and eventually the current (at time of writing) U.S. champ. It just goes to show that if you put your heart into believing in something, that it pay-off big time in the long run.
WORST.EPISODE.EVER!
(STUPIDEST THING THIS YEAR)
I should put Michael Cole. but i was going to induct a promo when Brie was champion who said she wanted to draft all her competition to smackdown,despite the fact that the Diva's belt is DUAL-BRANDED! It had to be stupidity incarnate to top that! so this ham-fisted manouver wins . It is of course...
MATT HARDY FAKES SUICIDE ON FACEBOOK!
To all wrestlers following in Z-ryde's footsteps. Don't become Fatt Lardy! the former Impact wrestler lost his job by posting message which fans deemed suicidal. Even his closest friends were worried that Lardy had gone to all night diner in the sky.Hardy was fined for Misdeminour wasting police time.
But the stupidy from hardy didnt stop this year. 3 months ago hardy was photoshopped-imean photographed naked with new girlfriend Reby sky. Many people didn't think it was him but i'm convinced it was.
His Rolls where covering her boobs!
HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH!
(best exit or most awesome thing)
HUNT-UH VERSUS UND-UH TAK-UH...10 YEARS LATE-UH!
Despite me calling it Waste-of-a-Mania by me on wrestling united, One match was fun to watch. And if you thought that a match between 2 top draws and not for any title would be a phoned-in affair...
you were sadly mistaken!
MAUD'S FUNERAL
(SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR)
EDGE RETIREMENT
Admit it! you never saw it coming!
After retaining the title at mania and keeping ADR'S Destiny at bay, the fact that the next night edge came out in street clothes was a worrying sight.
And we were right to be worried.
As Edge's Pelvis was so damaged, if it took another heavy knock, he could be paralysed, In a wheelchair or worst case scenario,Dead. but for his services in the ring it had being announced that Edge is the first inductee into the WWE HALL OF FAME CLASS 0F 2012!
THE HOMER(WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
Despite James storm,Bobby Roode and ADR Having their first world's title reigns and a consistant string of 4-5 star matches all year, 2011 was Year of The Punk! With his contract expiring Punk came down and Shot a Promo so legendary, Veterern Sports hack Jim Rome thought it was real! Yeah it was a worked shoot, but admit it! you enjoyed every minute of it!
THE POOCHIE
(WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR)
MICHAEL COLE
It started innocently enough.To build up the identity of the General Manager(who was anticlimaticly revealed to be johnny ace!) Mick Cole The Dick-hole became drunk on power. all year Cole has annoyed,enraged and embarrassed fans who payed €22 this year to watch "WASTE-OF-A-MANIA" on box office. From having a man-crush on GOBSHITE FROM MTV!,to being a total mark for wwe whenever Daniel Bryan had an iota of success. While the push to announce on both shows seems to be permanent, Please cole stick to announcing. IT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT! BARELY!
THE MARGE
(BEST WOMEN WRESTLER)
Congrats to Beth phionex, the most strongest most beutiful flower to grow from the pot of dirt that is Women wrestling in this decade. Expect a long reign and a face turn from compentant heels like Tamina and Nattie just to make the title mean something again. But that what happens when you give the title to the likes of Kelly, Eve "Botch" Torres, and Brie bella (all three who may or may not have f**ked Johnny ace for their jobs!) honourable mentions for gail kim, Nattie and A.J Lee. no-one else did anything of merit this year.
THE LISA
(WORST FEMALE)
FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING ITS THE BELLA TWINS
But don't worry girls, i heard Hooters is STILL rehiring!
MY PLANET NEEDS ME!
(GOOD RIDDANCE!)
MICHELLE MCTAKER QUITS VIA TWITTER!
Fellow members of the IWC! WE HAVE THE POWER TO BUILD CAREERS LIKE ZACK'S, WE ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO TEAR THEM DOWN!
In a move that will eventually see her quit the 'E in spectacular form! Michelle mcCool joined twitter. was illundated by tweets that stated the obvivious that marriage to taker has gave backstage power and her long title reign was due to her abusing that power rather than beating her opponents. (how many times this year did she win due to interference from Layla,Dq or Count-out? too many too count) Despite saying that she has left due to "a pile-up of injuries". the I.WC Can say that the quality of wrestling has went up a notch. To Notch 1. Ces't la vie.
Drop me a line at http://www.youtube/user/ThePathofenlightment
And will see you soon for results on the royal rumble.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Bogger box office update for september
The world wanted it! you shall have it!
I will review this-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egQ79OrCs
in case that doesnt open i will say this
September-boggerboxoffice-Onslaught on the Gates of hell!-Eamonn reviews THE LAST AIRBENDER!
I will review this-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egQ79OrCs
in case that doesnt open i will say this
September-boggerboxoffice-Onslaught on the Gates of hell!-Eamonn reviews THE LAST AIRBENDER!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
over the limit quickie and special announcement
R-truth defeated mysterio in a great opener.
barrett retained the ic belt by dq. the match against him and jackson was pitiful.
speaking of pitiful so was the divas match. why hire Kong if your not going to give her a title shot?
Randy orton's megapush continues to ruin the credibilty of every opponent put in front of him.
Big show and Kane retained the tag belts against Mason Ryan and Cm Punk. they would lose the belts to the NWO BLACK AND WHITE-I Mean-Henning and Z-LIST -24 HOURS LATER
I am happy to report that the cole/lawler fued is over.cole was assaulted by the king, had a finisher botched by Eve, had bbq sauce and finally had to kiss the feet of both Bret Hart and Lawler
and in the I Suck-i mean-I quit match, John cena-YOU KNOW THE REST!
AND NOW THE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
AFTER MY REVIEW OF DONNIE DARKO, INTERACTIVE MONTH WILL START AT THE END OF EVERY WEEK IN JUNE I WILL MAKE A POLL HERE IN A POST AND YOU CAN COMMENT HERE OR MY YOUTUBE PAGE http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment for what you what to read.
here is the first poll
Eamonn i want you to-
Please comment.
barrett retained the ic belt by dq. the match against him and jackson was pitiful.
speaking of pitiful so was the divas match. why hire Kong if your not going to give her a title shot?
Randy orton's megapush continues to ruin the credibilty of every opponent put in front of him.
Big show and Kane retained the tag belts against Mason Ryan and Cm Punk. they would lose the belts to the NWO BLACK AND WHITE-I Mean-Henning and Z-LIST -24 HOURS LATER
I am happy to report that the cole/lawler fued is over.cole was assaulted by the king, had a finisher botched by Eve, had bbq sauce and finally had to kiss the feet of both Bret Hart and Lawler
and in the I Suck-i mean-I quit match, John cena-YOU KNOW THE REST!
AND NOW THE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
AFTER MY REVIEW OF DONNIE DARKO, INTERACTIVE MONTH WILL START AT THE END OF EVERY WEEK IN JUNE I WILL MAKE A POLL HERE IN A POST AND YOU CAN COMMENT HERE OR MY YOUTUBE PAGE http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment for what you what to read.
here is the first poll
Eamonn i want you to-
- Stick it to the Nostalgia critic, and review a film he publicly said he would'nt-Matilda
- Do playthough of a ds game
- do a review of a wwe ppv from the past few years(i have lots and i'm sure i have the one your looking for!)
- Review a full week of British and Irish Tv.
Please comment.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
3 TICKETS TO HELL 2:TIPPING THE BARGAIN BIN:80's lad reviews Sleath
(THIS IS PART 3.
PART 1 IS AT boggerboxoffice
Part 2 is here.
EAMONN'S LINES IN BLACK
JOE-JACK LINES IN BLUE
80'S LADS REVIEW IN ORANGE
??????'S LINE IN RED
(80'S Lad throws a rope ladder to Eamonn and Joe-jack, who climb into the jet)
how did you learn to fly a jet?
PLAYING GALAGA, ENLIGHTENED DUDE!
But how did you get it?
Dude, we're an atheist wrestling reviewer, a culchie who's moonshine turned all his friends into zombies and a superstud ersatz to 90's Kid! Not everything has to make sense!
FAIR POINT!
Jus' remembah, oi'm da fillium cricket aroun' here!
Duly noted, Culchie Dude! Now how about some tunage?
(This weeks theme Wagner flight of the Valkyries
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V920BNsQgxU
HERE WE GO!
So the film starts with exposition with the vague location "the near future"
Dude, I'm from the 8os! I WAS TOLD THAT THERE WOULD BE JET-PACKS!
"To combat the growing threat of terrorism, a new program was created"
We Just Hired the A-team!
We Created the Powerful and Experimental Machines that surpass Human Engineering"
We Just Hired the A-Team....and teamed them with the Autobots!
OF COURSE NOT!
They hire 3 pilots who have a training exercise with their GUUUUNNNNNNSSSS!
(CHILDISH GUN NOISES)
So anyway we met our heroes Ben (josh Lucas) Kara (Jessica Biel) and Henry(Jamie Foxx)
when they return to base they are are told that they will be joined by a new wingman.
after Henry tries to tell the General that Four Is Death, they will still be joined by a 4th member.
So after some filler where top-tier stars continue to speak some bad dialogue, we met the 4th "member" E.D.I- a robot plane or as i would like to call him...
STARSCREAM!
Meanwhile Henry's mentor strongly objects to the Decepticon on his ship. So our heroes test their skills against Starscream how can talk. And he sounds like HAL from Space Odyssey.
Suddenly the team are called out to Burma to attack a terrorist cell and they blow up a bulding
BOOOM! BOOOM! KA-BOOM!
But Ben suffers the G-Force and suffers a migrane
BUT IT GETS WORSE!
Starscream get struck by lightning making him all freaky-deaky!
And despite this the general plans to replace all the pilots with E.D.I's
Ben tells Henry that he has feelings for kara. Henry tells him that the romance will end her career.
-AND next scene Henry is with a Burmese Prozy
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME YOU HYPOCRITE!
Anyway our heroes go to Tajikistan, where a warlord supposedly has WMDs. But Intel shows that the fallout will reach pakistan. however EDI Attacks on its own.
We cut to Seattle where E.D.I.'s creator, Not-Steve Jobs speaks to the general about the malfuntion. Back to action as EDI kills Henry.
BLACK MAN ALWAYS DIES FIRST!
Also Kara's gets hit causing her to crash in Korea.
Edi has then took out the flying refueling station for a cool ring of fire that could be seen from space!
(making v-sign) TAKE THAT, AL GORE!
EDI attacks russia but ben intervenes causing damage EDI reveals that he can feel pain and he killed henry because he exists to kill and survive.
so the robot did not turn against its masters because he was treated like a tool but because he became an existental emo.
So let wrap this up!
Ben saves Kara, edi sacrifices himself to save them, and just when you think the writing could not get any worse, the ungrateful bitch says this!
Kara: Just say you love me you pussy!
Take it on home, Eamonn!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
You have world class actors spouting verbal diaharra, the effects where overused and the script just garbage!
Hey, Enlightened Dude! we are coming into target with the supermarket
MR. The Culchie, are the bombs ready?
READY T'LAUNCH YER TOWNIE BASTID!
FIRE AT WILL!
(THE SUPER MARKET IS PELTED WITH DVDS OF "BOMBED" FILMS BECOMING ACTUAL BOMBS!)
(Eamonn parachutes down into the rubble as his friends fly home! from behind a huge rent-a-cop digs his way out!
"what are you boy? some kind of idiot?"
I AM NOT AN IDIOT~
(EAMONN PUNCHES, HIS ARM BECOMING SILVERY FLAME. IT REACHES THE SECURITY GUARDS GUT AND FLICKERS VIOLENTLY!)
.....I AM A MAN!
(Unbeknownst to Eamonn, a security camara films the whole thing. A shadowy figures watches intently.
So this human has the power? Little does he now about his destiny! We will met very soon, Mr Bermingham!
Friend me at youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
PART 1 IS AT boggerboxoffice
Part 2 is here.
EAMONN'S LINES IN BLACK
JOE-JACK LINES IN BLUE
80'S LADS REVIEW IN ORANGE
??????'S LINE IN RED
(80'S Lad throws a rope ladder to Eamonn and Joe-jack, who climb into the jet)
how did you learn to fly a jet?
PLAYING GALAGA, ENLIGHTENED DUDE!
But how did you get it?
Dude, we're an atheist wrestling reviewer, a culchie who's moonshine turned all his friends into zombies and a superstud ersatz to 90's Kid! Not everything has to make sense!
FAIR POINT!
Jus' remembah, oi'm da fillium cricket aroun' here!
Duly noted, Culchie Dude! Now how about some tunage?
(This weeks theme Wagner flight of the Valkyries
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V920BNsQgxU
HERE WE GO!
So the film starts with exposition with the vague location "the near future"
Dude, I'm from the 8os! I WAS TOLD THAT THERE WOULD BE JET-PACKS!
"To combat the growing threat of terrorism, a new program was created"
We Just Hired the A-team!
We Created the Powerful and Experimental Machines that surpass Human Engineering"
We Just Hired the A-Team....and teamed them with the Autobots!
OF COURSE NOT!
They hire 3 pilots who have a training exercise with their GUUUUNNNNNNSSSS!
(CHILDISH GUN NOISES)
So anyway we met our heroes Ben (josh Lucas) Kara (Jessica Biel) and Henry(Jamie Foxx)
when they return to base they are are told that they will be joined by a new wingman.
after Henry tries to tell the General that Four Is Death, they will still be joined by a 4th member.
So after some filler where top-tier stars continue to speak some bad dialogue, we met the 4th "member" E.D.I- a robot plane or as i would like to call him...
STARSCREAM!
Meanwhile Henry's mentor strongly objects to the Decepticon on his ship. So our heroes test their skills against Starscream how can talk. And he sounds like HAL from Space Odyssey.
Suddenly the team are called out to Burma to attack a terrorist cell and they blow up a bulding
BOOOM! BOOOM! KA-BOOM!
But Ben suffers the G-Force and suffers a migrane
BUT IT GETS WORSE!
Starscream get struck by lightning making him all freaky-deaky!
And despite this the general plans to replace all the pilots with E.D.I's
Ben tells Henry that he has feelings for kara. Henry tells him that the romance will end her career.
-AND next scene Henry is with a Burmese Prozy
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME YOU HYPOCRITE!
Anyway our heroes go to Tajikistan, where a warlord supposedly has WMDs. But Intel shows that the fallout will reach pakistan. however EDI Attacks on its own.
We cut to Seattle where E.D.I.'s creator, Not-Steve Jobs speaks to the general about the malfuntion. Back to action as EDI kills Henry.
BLACK MAN ALWAYS DIES FIRST!
Also Kara's gets hit causing her to crash in Korea.
Edi has then took out the flying refueling station for a cool ring of fire that could be seen from space!
(making v-sign) TAKE THAT, AL GORE!
EDI attacks russia but ben intervenes causing damage EDI reveals that he can feel pain and he killed henry because he exists to kill and survive.
so the robot did not turn against its masters because he was treated like a tool but because he became an existental emo.
So let wrap this up!
Ben saves Kara, edi sacrifices himself to save them, and just when you think the writing could not get any worse, the ungrateful bitch says this!
Kara: Just say you love me you pussy!
Take it on home, Eamonn!
THIS FILM SUCKS!
You have world class actors spouting verbal diaharra, the effects where overused and the script just garbage!
Hey, Enlightened Dude! we are coming into target with the supermarket
MR. The Culchie, are the bombs ready?
READY T'LAUNCH YER TOWNIE BASTID!
FIRE AT WILL!
(THE SUPER MARKET IS PELTED WITH DVDS OF "BOMBED" FILMS BECOMING ACTUAL BOMBS!)
(Eamonn parachutes down into the rubble as his friends fly home! from behind a huge rent-a-cop digs his way out!
"what are you boy? some kind of idiot?"
I AM NOT AN IDIOT~
(EAMONN PUNCHES, HIS ARM BECOMING SILVERY FLAME. IT REACHES THE SECURITY GUARDS GUT AND FLICKERS VIOLENTLY!)
.....I AM A MAN!
(Unbeknownst to Eamonn, a security camara films the whole thing. A shadowy figures watches intently.
So this human has the power? Little does he now about his destiny! We will met very soon, Mr Bermingham!
Friend me at youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
3 TICKETS TO HELL 2:TIPPING THE BARGAIN BIN:Eamonn reviews Cruel intentions 2
(THIS IS PART 2 READ PART 1 AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE)
(EAMONN'S REVIEW IN BLACK,
JOE-JACKS LINE IN BLUE)
this weeks theme-Basement jax -cruel intentions-i love the song so much you can hear it on my youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
An' jus' a little more and ta-da yer disguise!
(looking at a mirror) YOU IDIOT! all you did was gave me a wig and glasses!
give ovah! wot didya expect from a fillium fer 4 euro?
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
Cruel intentions.
A film in 1998 that was a modern adaptation of Fatal Liasons.But replaces the setting of pre-revolution France was replaced by American college and it worked very well, it was sexy, but it was smartly written
So Naturally they wanted to create a sequel
but hold on.
Sebastian dies and Kathryn is sent to prison for his murder
so they said "what about a sequel?"
Yes despite, having a two in the title this is in fact a prequel
with that in mind lets dig into cruel intentions: sedude and destroy!
so the film starts with the younger version of Sebastion (played by a cast-off from Dawson's creek) getting kicked out of a school by ...pranks? yeah in the first film seb was cold hearted and here he is a goofy guy and very fond here of the Granny f***y!
So he mets his dads new family and his new step-sister katryn played by a young....Amy Adams?
Goddammit woman! stop appearing in my reviews your not a bad actresses!
When it is revealed that seb is just as good at kathryn in every way, we see that Seb's dad is a pushover and kats mom is a pagent queen mom. its nice to see the people whose actions made them the monstors in the first film.
So seb is told he is to go to a private school in England.
WHAT IS IT WITH AMERICANS AND THERE FASCINATION WITH ENGLAND?
When ever an american jerk needs to be taught a lession they send him to england.
Why?
British culture is built on duality!
the same country that has an air of grace, also gave us the Carry-on films Punk Rock and kevin and perry.
so we are in England where seb wastes no time in flirting with the first thing in a skirt. it turns out that she is Dannielle the principals daught-
OH GOD NO!
That's the plot of the first film. this is just lazy writing.
Meanwhile in Stiff Upper lip high, as underpaid extras lip-sync in a choir, one of the extras (the appropriettly named Keri lynn Pratt!) breaks out in hiccups while Kat is giving a speech. she tells Kat that she'll cure them with chew-gum. so the enevitable happens, the idiot starts choking. Dannielle saves her and pisses off Kathryn.
the first class is english where they discuss doctor Jekkyl and mister Hyde.
SYMBOLISM!!!11!!!!!!!1!
Meanwhile kat has blackmailed the vice principal to get her way. by forming an elitist student body.
Meanwhile Outside the school in a bookshop in manchester...
ever notice that manchester looks a lot like rhode island?
Danielle is told to shelve books on the Karma Sutra?
....She's in high school! Did you not think there might be a little problem in her to carry such books?
Meanwhile kat is still creating her elitist army. it turns out that Cheri (GUM-IDIOT!) is richer than kathryn, so she plans to turn cheri into the biggest slut in school so her authorithy is not undermi-
OH GOD NO!
Thats the subplot to the first film! y'know the part where Michelle Gellar and selma blair kissed?
So cheri and kat go clubbing in Soho
.....ever notice that soho looks a lot like new york?
where kat plies the idiot with drink to make her look a fool but she does it all by herself.
After getting allowance that excells my yearly rent, seb buys dani a phone and kisses her in public, making her fell ashamed. So now the sebastian montinuex who used to steal girls and keep kat in a steady of cocaine hidden in her cruxifix, is now taken advice from his servants.So he proclaims his love for Danielle.
After some filler involving a lost jacket that planted foreshadowing that never materialised.we have charector derailment. Danielle who in the last scene was embarrassed by a simple kiss is now a Depraved Virgin.
lets wrap this up!
Danielle double-crosses seb, they get in a threesome with Kat, Seb turns into the charector he was in CI 1 and the film ends with the 3 corrupting Cheri
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THIS FILM SUCKS!
The Charectors are wrong, the film is filled with pointless scenes (which i left out of this review because) and as mentioned, despite being called "Manchester Prep" the whole dahm thing was filmed new york, that have way through they give up with the facade.
So to sum it up: cruel intentions 2: not a unnessacary sequel but an unnessacary prequel
(Eamonn enters the supermarket but is surrounded by Rentacops. The roar of engines and "Danger zone" breaks the silence! ITS 8O'S LAD PILOTING A JET SIGNALING EAMONN TO GET OUT!)
KEEP IT HERE BECAUSE NEXT WEEK 80'S LAD REVIEWS SLEATH!
(EAMONN'S REVIEW IN BLACK,
JOE-JACKS LINE IN BLUE)
this weeks theme-Basement jax -cruel intentions-i love the song so much you can hear it on my youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
An' jus' a little more and ta-da yer disguise!
(looking at a mirror) YOU IDIOT! all you did was gave me a wig and glasses!
give ovah! wot didya expect from a fillium fer 4 euro?
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
Cruel intentions.
A film in 1998 that was a modern adaptation of Fatal Liasons.But replaces the setting of pre-revolution France was replaced by American college and it worked very well, it was sexy, but it was smartly written
So Naturally they wanted to create a sequel
but hold on.
Sebastian dies and Kathryn is sent to prison for his murder
so they said "what about a sequel?"
Yes despite, having a two in the title this is in fact a prequel
with that in mind lets dig into cruel intentions: sedude and destroy!
so the film starts with the younger version of Sebastion (played by a cast-off from Dawson's creek) getting kicked out of a school by ...pranks? yeah in the first film seb was cold hearted and here he is a goofy guy and very fond here of the Granny f***y!
So he mets his dads new family and his new step-sister katryn played by a young....Amy Adams?
Goddammit woman! stop appearing in my reviews your not a bad actresses!
When it is revealed that seb is just as good at kathryn in every way, we see that Seb's dad is a pushover and kats mom is a pagent queen mom. its nice to see the people whose actions made them the monstors in the first film.
So seb is told he is to go to a private school in England.
WHAT IS IT WITH AMERICANS AND THERE FASCINATION WITH ENGLAND?
When ever an american jerk needs to be taught a lession they send him to england.
Why?
British culture is built on duality!
the same country that has an air of grace, also gave us the Carry-on films Punk Rock and kevin and perry.
so we are in England where seb wastes no time in flirting with the first thing in a skirt. it turns out that she is Dannielle the principals daught-
OH GOD NO!
That's the plot of the first film. this is just lazy writing.
Meanwhile in Stiff Upper lip high, as underpaid extras lip-sync in a choir, one of the extras (the appropriettly named Keri lynn Pratt!) breaks out in hiccups while Kat is giving a speech. she tells Kat that she'll cure them with chew-gum. so the enevitable happens, the idiot starts choking. Dannielle saves her and pisses off Kathryn.
the first class is english where they discuss doctor Jekkyl and mister Hyde.
SYMBOLISM!!!11!!!!!!!1!
Meanwhile kat has blackmailed the vice principal to get her way. by forming an elitist student body.
Meanwhile Outside the school in a bookshop in manchester...
ever notice that manchester looks a lot like rhode island?
Danielle is told to shelve books on the Karma Sutra?
....She's in high school! Did you not think there might be a little problem in her to carry such books?
Meanwhile kat is still creating her elitist army. it turns out that Cheri (GUM-IDIOT!) is richer than kathryn, so she plans to turn cheri into the biggest slut in school so her authorithy is not undermi-
OH GOD NO!
Thats the subplot to the first film! y'know the part where Michelle Gellar and selma blair kissed?
So cheri and kat go clubbing in Soho
.....ever notice that soho looks a lot like new york?
where kat plies the idiot with drink to make her look a fool but she does it all by herself.
After getting allowance that excells my yearly rent, seb buys dani a phone and kisses her in public, making her fell ashamed. So now the sebastian montinuex who used to steal girls and keep kat in a steady of cocaine hidden in her cruxifix, is now taken advice from his servants.So he proclaims his love for Danielle.
After some filler involving a lost jacket that planted foreshadowing that never materialised.we have charector derailment. Danielle who in the last scene was embarrassed by a simple kiss is now a Depraved Virgin.
lets wrap this up!
Danielle double-crosses seb, they get in a threesome with Kat, Seb turns into the charector he was in CI 1 and the film ends with the 3 corrupting Cheri
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THIS FILM SUCKS!
The Charectors are wrong, the film is filled with pointless scenes (which i left out of this review because) and as mentioned, despite being called "Manchester Prep" the whole dahm thing was filmed new york, that have way through they give up with the facade.
So to sum it up: cruel intentions 2: not a unnessacary sequel but an unnessacary prequel
(Eamonn enters the supermarket but is surrounded by Rentacops. The roar of engines and "Danger zone" breaks the silence! ITS 8O'S LAD PILOTING A JET SIGNALING EAMONN TO GET OUT!)
KEEP IT HERE BECAUSE NEXT WEEK 80'S LAD REVIEWS SLEATH!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Summer schedule 2011
wow i have a lot for you
May-3 TICKETS TO HELL 2 : TIPPING THE BARGAIN BIN
Part 1: Joe-jack reviews Master of disguise
Part 2: Eamonn reviews Cruel intentions 2: Seduce and Destroy
Part 3: 80s Lad reviews Sleath
Pathofenlightment schedule
May-Happy birthday, George Lucas.
June Interactive month: YOU have control ON What i Review! (boggerboxoffice and wrestling as scheduled.)
July: wwe roster 2011 evaluation
August: as part of June i will give a survey of what theme theme month should be Come back in june to see the choices.
Bogger box office schedule
June-The Crap Films of Drew Barrymore: Donnie Darko
July-The Crap films of drew Barrymore: Lucky You
August-RV: Runaway Vacation
(all posts are subject to change.
ppvs and random posts are not included.)
May-3 TICKETS TO HELL 2 : TIPPING THE BARGAIN BIN
Part 1: Joe-jack reviews Master of disguise
Part 2: Eamonn reviews Cruel intentions 2: Seduce and Destroy
Part 3: 80s Lad reviews Sleath
Pathofenlightment schedule
May-Happy birthday, George Lucas.
June Interactive month: YOU have control ON What i Review! (boggerboxoffice and wrestling as scheduled.)
July: wwe roster 2011 evaluation
August: as part of June i will give a survey of what theme theme month should be Come back in june to see the choices.
Bogger box office schedule
June-The Crap Films of Drew Barrymore: Donnie Darko
July-The Crap films of drew Barrymore: Lucky You
August-RV: Runaway Vacation
(all posts are subject to change.
ppvs and random posts are not included.)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Phoenix month:Wrestling Horses for Curses
ATM ERIC
the creature that pauperised many a punter in 2001 remains making no friends Down South.Once considered a revolutionary after T.Turner replaced Pizza Hut Pissant,the now grey creature saw his stock plummet in the Ratings Chase, where failing to wrangle rivals Young Talent and Big Egos seem to undermine his authority
EVE OF MEDIOCRITY
A pretty chestnut haired filly that despite being champion has a lot to learn. she was a surprise entrant in the Royal rumble outing where she bested Bony Bitch, Fake Brit and Queen of Harts for the Garish Butterfly Trophy. "Yeah she's a pretty show-horse, but she's not worth the wild oats i put in her every night!" exclaimed Johnny Ace.
TWITTER TWIT
The ultimate "talking horse"'s monthly promises of a "BIG SOORPRISE!", only to fail to deliver irked many a fan. especially her outing at 10.10.10 had fans (or are they cast members?) tear up tickets (if they weren't free to begin with) the progeny of Idiot Heiress, out of Her Depth had many people asking "IZ DIS REAL?"
"She got involved with Random Thugs and Hardy Any Food Left. they then Destroyed Punchbag Serge in front of her, bruther! she easily gave Grapefruit Vinny another win, Dude!" recalls tipster Mr T. Bollea
the creature that pauperised many a punter in 2001 remains making no friends Down South.Once considered a revolutionary after T.Turner replaced Pizza Hut Pissant,the now grey creature saw his stock plummet in the Ratings Chase, where failing to wrangle rivals Young Talent and Big Egos seem to undermine his authority
EVE OF MEDIOCRITY
A pretty chestnut haired filly that despite being champion has a lot to learn. she was a surprise entrant in the Royal rumble outing where she bested Bony Bitch, Fake Brit and Queen of Harts for the Garish Butterfly Trophy. "Yeah she's a pretty show-horse, but she's not worth the wild oats i put in her every night!" exclaimed Johnny Ace.
TWITTER TWIT
The ultimate "talking horse"'s monthly promises of a "BIG SOORPRISE!", only to fail to deliver irked many a fan. especially her outing at 10.10.10 had fans (or are they cast members?) tear up tickets (if they weren't free to begin with) the progeny of Idiot Heiress, out of Her Depth had many people asking "IZ DIS REAL?"
"She got involved with Random Thugs and Hardy Any Food Left. they then Destroyed Punchbag Serge in front of her, bruther! she easily gave Grapefruit Vinny another win, Dude!" recalls tipster Mr T. Bollea
Monday, April 11, 2011
UNSOLD WWESHOP ITEMS (PARODY)
Welcome back to Theme Month
this month's theme wrestling satire in the form of Irish satire magazine, the Phoenix.
JOHN CENA VACUUM CLEANER
HEY KIDS! Clean your room with the power of HUSTLE, LOYALTY, RESPECT, And other words that meant something before becoming t-shirt slogans. behold the most effiecent hoover on the market, you can push John cena as hard as you might, he STILL SUCKS!
(WARNING: JOHN CENA IS SUPER-EFFECTIVE IN SUCKING UP PARENTS MONEY!)
BEST OF TYLER REXS DVD
CALLING ALL TYLER REXS FANS! BOTH OF YOU! HIS MAMMY AND HIS DADDY!
Relive the career of everyone's favourite Dreadlocked, plane-hating, talentless Slab of meat! dvd includes
At a wwe show? Need a beer to make the cena match more tolerable? But whats this? Can't get the top of the bottle? WELL FEAR YE NOT! FOR THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE BLOWING! and who else can smell them from a million miles away but Wade Barret? Simply place the bottle under Wades nose and much like wades push-BOTTOMS UP!
this month's theme wrestling satire in the form of Irish satire magazine, the Phoenix.
JOHN CENA VACUUM CLEANER
HEY KIDS! Clean your room with the power of HUSTLE, LOYALTY, RESPECT, And other words that meant something before becoming t-shirt slogans. behold the most effiecent hoover on the market, you can push John cena as hard as you might, he STILL SUCKS!
(WARNING: JOHN CENA IS SUPER-EFFECTIVE IN SUCKING UP PARENTS MONEY!)
BEST OF TYLER REXS DVD
CALLING ALL TYLER REXS FANS! BOTH OF YOU! HIS MAMMY AND HIS DADDY!
Relive the career of everyone's favourite Dreadlocked, plane-hating, talentless Slab of meat! dvd includes
- vs masters
- vs masters (again)
- vs masters for a 3rd time
- vs nameless jobber(20 such matches)
- and the entire freakout on a plane(the only time he's being entertaining!)
At a wwe show? Need a beer to make the cena match more tolerable? But whats this? Can't get the top of the bottle? WELL FEAR YE NOT! FOR THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE BLOWING! and who else can smell them from a million miles away but Wade Barret? Simply place the bottle under Wades nose and much like wades push-BOTTOMS UP!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wrestlemania 27 results
oh written in the stars, a million miles away and its now monday, the night before was wrestlemania the greatest spectacle in wrestling. so let's go!
Singing the national anthem rnb star keri hilson that's nice i guess.
the rock comes out and really works up the crowd.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP(WHAT?)
ALBERTO DEL RIO VS EDGE(C)
Collar/elbow tie-up into back body drop. kick and punt by edge, mudhole stomping by edge in the corner
after fight on the outside an armrigger by del rio. spining elbow splash to the outside by edge. back in and del rio hits a spin kick. cross arm breakercountered into edge-a-matic, another is in the ropes. whip to the corner, shock and awe by del rio. christian attacks brodus exploder suplex by clay. Spear by edge and this is over!
WINNER: EDGE 4/5
MAGNIFICENT!
after the match edge and christian destroy alberto's car
Tough enough looks good
BORING DASHING JUST PLAIN CODY RHODES VS REY MYSTERIO
This year Rey comes dressed as Captain America, Leg scissors by rey but all the momentum is rhodes. crossbody beautiful disaster alabama slam followed by an outlaw attack follewed by an awesome delay suplex.armdrag to the outside then senton by rey-rey. Crap suplex by Boring! 619 caught but moonsault by rey 619 connects, rhodes takes the knee brace and attacks rey. and the Boring drill gets the win.
WINNER:RHODES 3/5
Cody rhodes is....THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! NOT COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU!
BACKSTAGE: SNOOP DOG
There is an audition as regal raps, beth and khali sing grease songs, and basicly guys who should be on the show, look stupid. oh and hornswoggle speaks!
8 MAN TAG WAS POINTLESS SLATER TOOK THE COBRA AND THE LINKARA PUNCH
I AM A MAY'UN!
BACKSTAGE:Rock and eve
Mae young comes in for a funny moment. she wants the people's strudel! then holy shit Austin and rock talk and shake hands.
Offical theme is Tinie Tempah's written in the stars, with tiny spelt with 2 ns and temper spelt with an a and h,
B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ ....KEWL!
RANDY ORTON VS CM PUNK
crossbody by punk, all match punk was working orton's leg rko ends it after randy collapses after punt attempt.
Winner: orton
lawler bet cole after austin attacked him and swagger but the raw gm overturned the decision, the fued is continue.
UNDERTAKER VS TRIPLE H
Both legends trade punches to start. to the outside and they destroy the Cole Mine (sadly cole was not in there!) Back in and old school into arm drag. back drop of the announce table. back and taker hits a suicide dive. Spinebuster through the spanish announce table.Chokeslam gets 2. Mounted punches, last ride. pedigree snake eyes spine buster in sequence gets 1. last ride by taker gets 2 1/2. Tombstone gets 2 ddt on the chair. Pedigree gets a close 2. Chairshots. Hells gate and done!
UNDERTAKER 19-0
ENJOY THE OFFICE JOB DADDY VINCE GAVE YOU, PAUL!
After the match, though he won Undertaker has to be carried on a luggage carrier with a makeshift guerney. he really was pushed to the limit tonight.
Snookie wins her match and looked good doing it she won with a Handspring Elbow.
GOBSHITE FROM MTV RETAINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP ON A DOUBLE FUCKING COUNT-OUT!
BUT THE ROCK ASSAULTS BOTH MISTER 5 MOVES AND MISTER NO MOVES AND THAT PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE.
Singing the national anthem rnb star keri hilson that's nice i guess.
the rock comes out and really works up the crowd.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP(WHAT?)
ALBERTO DEL RIO VS EDGE(C)
Collar/elbow tie-up into back body drop. kick and punt by edge, mudhole stomping by edge in the corner
after fight on the outside an armrigger by del rio. spining elbow splash to the outside by edge. back in and del rio hits a spin kick. cross arm breakercountered into edge-a-matic, another is in the ropes. whip to the corner, shock and awe by del rio. christian attacks brodus exploder suplex by clay. Spear by edge and this is over!
WINNER: EDGE 4/5
MAGNIFICENT!
after the match edge and christian destroy alberto's car
Tough enough looks good
This year Rey comes dressed as Captain America, Leg scissors by rey but all the momentum is rhodes. crossbody beautiful disaster alabama slam followed by an outlaw attack follewed by an awesome delay suplex.armdrag to the outside then senton by rey-rey. Crap suplex by Boring! 619 caught but moonsault by rey 619 connects, rhodes takes the knee brace and attacks rey. and the Boring drill gets the win.
WINNER:RHODES 3/5
Cody rhodes is....THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! NOT COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU!
BACKSTAGE: SNOOP DOG
There is an audition as regal raps, beth and khali sing grease songs, and basicly guys who should be on the show, look stupid. oh and hornswoggle speaks!
8 MAN TAG WAS POINTLESS SLATER TOOK THE COBRA AND THE LINKARA PUNCH
I AM A MAY'UN!
BACKSTAGE:Rock and eve
Mae young comes in for a funny moment. she wants the people's strudel! then holy shit Austin and rock talk and shake hands.
Offical theme is Tinie Tempah's written in the stars, with tiny spelt with 2 ns and temper spelt with an a and h,
B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ ....KEWL!
RANDY ORTON VS CM PUNK
crossbody by punk, all match punk was working orton's leg rko ends it after randy collapses after punt attempt.
Winner: orton
lawler bet cole after austin attacked him and swagger but the raw gm overturned the decision, the fued is continue.
UNDERTAKER VS TRIPLE H
Both legends trade punches to start. to the outside and they destroy the Cole Mine (sadly cole was not in there!) Back in and old school into arm drag. back drop of the announce table. back and taker hits a suicide dive. Spinebuster through the spanish announce table.Chokeslam gets 2. Mounted punches, last ride. pedigree snake eyes spine buster in sequence gets 1. last ride by taker gets 2 1/2. Tombstone gets 2 ddt on the chair. Pedigree gets a close 2. Chairshots. Hells gate and done!
UNDERTAKER 19-0
ENJOY THE OFFICE JOB DADDY VINCE GAVE YOU, PAUL!
After the match, though he won Undertaker has to be carried on a luggage carrier with a makeshift guerney. he really was pushed to the limit tonight.
Snookie wins her match and looked good doing it she won with a Handspring Elbow.
GOBSHITE FROM MTV RETAINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP ON A DOUBLE FUCKING COUNT-OUT!
BUT THE ROCK ASSAULTS BOTH MISTER 5 MOVES AND MISTER NO MOVES AND THAT PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE.
Friday, March 25, 2011
a tradition reborn! Red nose day Walkers: A review
a week after Comic relief and the disapointment of the crisps not available in ireland, i went shopping with my family in Waterford.
Guess what was on the crisp aisle!
better late than never!
this year walkers crisps teamed with 4 comedians with 4 celebrity endorsed flavours they are:
FRANK SKINNER CHICKEN DINNER
STEAK AND AL PIE (AL MURRAY)
STEPHEN FRY-UP
AND JIMMY CARR CARNE
FRANK SKINNER
WHO? Soccor-centric stand-up that released the song football's coming home
FLAVOUR: Chicken dinner
VERDICT: Very bland flavour
AL MURRAY
WHO? "THE PUB LANDLORD" A GUY WHO THINKS ENGLAND IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY AND IF A MAN DOESNT DRINK HE'S GAY!
FLAVOUR: STEAK AND ALE PIE
VERDICT: this is even worse! At least chicken tastes like chicken. this is like Al Murray himself: Tasteless!
STEPHEN FRY
WHO? Comic legend, pioneer Tweeter and Host of QI.
FLAVOUR: FRY-UP (EGG,BACON, SAUSAGE,PUDDING)
VERDICT: My dad ate all but the test packet i hid. no wonder as this was greatly improved since year one's batch.
JIMMY CARR
WHO? Deadpan darkly humoured host of Your face or mine?, Distraction and 8 out of 10n cats.
FLAVOUR: Chilli con carne
VERDICT: Far too spicy for my taste
As par the public vote, the winner was ...
Stephen fry!
the forfiet was a live waxing for the other 3
well thats it!
friend me on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
Guess what was on the crisp aisle!
better late than never!
this year walkers crisps teamed with 4 comedians with 4 celebrity endorsed flavours they are:
FRANK SKINNER CHICKEN DINNER
STEAK AND AL PIE (AL MURRAY)
STEPHEN FRY-UP
AND JIMMY CARR CARNE
FRANK SKINNER
WHO? Soccor-centric stand-up that released the song football's coming home
FLAVOUR: Chicken dinner
VERDICT: Very bland flavour
AL MURRAY
WHO? "THE PUB LANDLORD" A GUY WHO THINKS ENGLAND IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY AND IF A MAN DOESNT DRINK HE'S GAY!
FLAVOUR: STEAK AND ALE PIE
VERDICT: this is even worse! At least chicken tastes like chicken. this is like Al Murray himself: Tasteless!
STEPHEN FRY
WHO? Comic legend, pioneer Tweeter and Host of QI.
FLAVOUR: FRY-UP (EGG,BACON, SAUSAGE,PUDDING)
VERDICT: My dad ate all but the test packet i hid. no wonder as this was greatly improved since year one's batch.
JIMMY CARR
WHO? Deadpan darkly humoured host of Your face or mine?, Distraction and 8 out of 10n cats.
FLAVOUR: Chilli con carne
VERDICT: Far too spicy for my taste
As par the public vote, the winner was ...
Stephen fry!
the forfiet was a live waxing for the other 3
well thats it!
friend me on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
Sunday, March 13, 2011
wrestlemania X-7:X years later part 3
VINCE MCMAHON VS SHANE MCMAHON
BACKSTORY!: Sick of treating the WWF as his own personal miltia and cheating on his mother until she had a "breakdown", shane took over WCW to call the old man out
Shane comes out first he reveals that WCW is in the arena of the 10 in the private box i only recognise Lance storm, Torrie Wilson and Jobb-o ...i mean Chavo Guerrerro. mick foley is the special referee. After brawling shane beats down his dad. Steph comes in and slaps shane shane attacks vince with camara wires. clothesline of the security wall. kendo stick shot. shane loses out with the Leap of faith. trish stratus who was with vince at the time, comes out with linda in a wheelchair and attacks vince and chases Stephanie out. foley gets attacked by vince for protecting linda. and end is linda rises from her chair. and shane finishes vince with the coast 2 coast
WINNER: SHANE 4/5 (JUST FOR SHEER STORYTELLING)
TLC TWO FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
EDGE AND CHRISTIAN W/RHINO VS DUDLEYZ W/SPIKE VS HARDY BOYZ W/LITA
In 10 years and the hardys have dramatically changed i think can be resolved by swapping their addictions. You dont see much fat smack-heads and Fatt Lardy needs stuff that will get that gut gone for good. it would terrible things to their teeth though! also ringing the changes is the dudleys ring attire at this point in their carear their ring-gear was strange coloured camoflague, which would be handy if bubba was in a war in the stottish heaths or in a swimming pool full of Ribena!
anyway there is too much non-wrestling offence so lets get to the short version of this match
IRON SHIEK WINS BATTLE ROYAL
UNDERTAKER 9-0
WWF CHAMPIONSHIP
STONE COLD VS THE ROCK(c)
BACKSTORY!: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE GREATEST MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA , AS CHOSEN BY ALL OF YOU! In 2001 austin won his 3rd ever rumble to face the rock tonight, vince to stir things up made Debra, then-managar and then-wife to manage the rock. when she got injured. the rattlesnake went nuts! the result:a high octane intense match that became personal
the match was made no DQ to the shock of jim ross. Stone cold starts this off with rights and lefts irish whip Lou Thesz press. elbow by austin neckbreaker by austin. rock trying for Rock Bottom, austin tries for the stunner, fight in this hot Texan crowd back in the ring and Outlaw Attack by Austin followed by vertical suplex. clothesline by the rock, a hip toss gets 2. more fighting on the outside again. Austin hits rock with the ring bell, the english announce table is destroyed.back in the ring, and neckbreaker by SCSA whip into the corner mudhole stomping clothesline by the rock. Rock brings the ringbell in hits austin with it! more ringside brawling slingshot sending rock into ring post. sharpshooter by the rock as both men are bloodied but austin with a sharpshooter on his own, into million dollar dream . stunner by the rock has this texas crowd turn nasty! vince comes down to ringside and saves austin after peoples elbow. multiple chairshots by austin as a stunned Jim Ross speaks on. "austin has sold his soul to Satan himself!"
WINNER AND NEW WWF CHAMPION: AUSTIN 5/5
Well that was wm17 possibly the great ppv ever produced by wwe. this is the Enlightened one Eamonn bermingham and i will see you the day after wrestlemania.
BACKSTORY!: Sick of treating the WWF as his own personal miltia and cheating on his mother until she had a "breakdown", shane took over WCW to call the old man out
Shane comes out first he reveals that WCW is in the arena of the 10 in the private box i only recognise Lance storm, Torrie Wilson and Jobb-o ...i mean Chavo Guerrerro. mick foley is the special referee. After brawling shane beats down his dad. Steph comes in and slaps shane shane attacks vince with camara wires. clothesline of the security wall. kendo stick shot. shane loses out with the Leap of faith. trish stratus who was with vince at the time, comes out with linda in a wheelchair and attacks vince and chases Stephanie out. foley gets attacked by vince for protecting linda. and end is linda rises from her chair. and shane finishes vince with the coast 2 coast
WINNER: SHANE 4/5 (JUST FOR SHEER STORYTELLING)
TLC TWO FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
EDGE AND CHRISTIAN W/RHINO VS DUDLEYZ W/SPIKE VS HARDY BOYZ W/LITA
In 10 years and the hardys have dramatically changed i think can be resolved by swapping their addictions. You dont see much fat smack-heads and Fatt Lardy needs stuff that will get that gut gone for good. it would terrible things to their teeth though! also ringing the changes is the dudleys ring attire at this point in their carear their ring-gear was strange coloured camoflague, which would be handy if bubba was in a war in the stottish heaths or in a swimming pool full of Ribena!
anyway there is too much non-wrestling offence so lets get to the short version of this match
- double legdrop on christrian
- whazzup and powerbomb through a table
- spike rhino and lita interfere for there respective teams, with lita jerking edge off ....the ladder (not that she wasnt familer with that...just ask matt hardy! actually don't given how emo he has become he would probably cry into his ice-cream listening to 3 days grace's back catalogue knowing full well that his blood type his Haggen-dasz!)
- in the end christian gets a piggy back from rhino to get the belts
IRON SHIEK WINS BATTLE ROYAL
UNDERTAKER 9-0
WWF CHAMPIONSHIP
STONE COLD VS THE ROCK(c)
BACKSTORY!: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE GREATEST MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA , AS CHOSEN BY ALL OF YOU! In 2001 austin won his 3rd ever rumble to face the rock tonight, vince to stir things up made Debra, then-managar and then-wife to manage the rock. when she got injured. the rattlesnake went nuts! the result:a high octane intense match that became personal
the match was made no DQ to the shock of jim ross. Stone cold starts this off with rights and lefts irish whip Lou Thesz press. elbow by austin neckbreaker by austin. rock trying for Rock Bottom, austin tries for the stunner, fight in this hot Texan crowd back in the ring and Outlaw Attack by Austin followed by vertical suplex. clothesline by the rock, a hip toss gets 2. more fighting on the outside again. Austin hits rock with the ring bell, the english announce table is destroyed.back in the ring, and neckbreaker by SCSA whip into the corner mudhole stomping clothesline by the rock. Rock brings the ringbell in hits austin with it! more ringside brawling slingshot sending rock into ring post. sharpshooter by the rock as both men are bloodied but austin with a sharpshooter on his own, into million dollar dream . stunner by the rock has this texas crowd turn nasty! vince comes down to ringside and saves austin after peoples elbow. multiple chairshots by austin as a stunned Jim Ross speaks on. "austin has sold his soul to Satan himself!"
WINNER AND NEW WWF CHAMPION: AUSTIN 5/5
Well that was wm17 possibly the great ppv ever produced by wwe. this is the Enlightened one Eamonn bermingham and i will see you the day after wrestlemania.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wrestlemania x-7 : X years later part 2
WWF EUROPEAN ONE EXTRA CHAMPIONSHIP
THE LATE, GREAT EDDIE GUERRERRO W/PERRY SATURN AND DEAN MALENKOVS THE LATE, BUT NOT GREAT, TEST(C)
BACK STORY: I HATED THE CONCEPT OF THE EUROPEAN BELT WHEN ONLY 2 ENGLISHMAN HAVE HELD IT DURING ITS REIGN. ANYWAY TEST IS OUT FOR REVENGE FOR DOING A HEINOUS CRIME IN WRESTLING: MADE TO LOSE TO X-PAC!
A FRRRROOONNT BODY DROP by test followed by a power bomb again a match goes to the outside, back in and a gorilla press by Test, thumb to the eyes by Latino heat, who attempts a frankensteiner but test what Ross calls a counter botches the move on his part. attempt on the GENERIC BIG MAN BOOT FINISHER! ends with his foot trapped in the ropes. after the ref and Eddie help him out, sleeper by Eddie counter with a Irish whip and a tilt-a-whirl slam by test. Saturn comes in a gives test his finisher the NUMBER 3 THE 3 HANDLED MOSS COVERED FAMILY GREDUNZEL
(NUMBER 4 ARMBAR!)
Frog splash by Eddie but pump handle by test
Malenko distracts test long enough for the belt shot to end this!
WINNER AND NEW ONE EXTRA CHAMPION: EDDIE 2/5
KURT ANGLE VS CHRIS BENIOT
(PWI 2001 MATCH OF THE YEAR)
this one starts technical with a take down by angle but Benoit recovers. a second take down and a body scissors but Chris again escapes. release suplex by angle. Both men exchange leverage holds until Chris gets an armbar (NUMBER 5! ARMBAR!) into a crossface attempt but angles is in the ropes. facelock by angle into an Inside trip but beniot counters into the crossface. Clothesline by angle and now its a brawl to the outside back in and this technical fight has broken down! Until a belly to belly suplex by angle followed by a short arm clothesline by angle. Snap suplex by Chris when he regains his composure. Superplex and both men are down angle get 2 germans then a counter into the ankle lock by angle into an ankle lock by Beniot into the crossface into the crossface by angle, foot in the ropes ref is knocked down as angle taps. body slam by a refreshed Angle who goes foe his moonsault diving headbutt by Beniot. waistlock by Beniot low blow by Kurt. series of amatuer pins until angle has the beniots tights.
WINNER ANGLE(5/5)
WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP
china wins after a one side match (2/5)
Join me soon for part 3 for the main events. if you like what you read and want to subcribe or friend me on youtube my address is http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment where you will be notified of other post by bulletins.
and dont forget to post a comment below!
and thanks for reading!
THE LATE, GREAT EDDIE GUERRERRO W/PERRY SATURN AND DEAN MALENKOVS THE LATE, BUT NOT GREAT, TEST(C)
BACK STORY: I HATED THE CONCEPT OF THE EUROPEAN BELT WHEN ONLY 2 ENGLISHMAN HAVE HELD IT DURING ITS REIGN. ANYWAY TEST IS OUT FOR REVENGE FOR DOING A HEINOUS CRIME IN WRESTLING: MADE TO LOSE TO X-PAC!
A FRRRROOONNT BODY DROP by test followed by a power bomb again a match goes to the outside, back in and a gorilla press by Test, thumb to the eyes by Latino heat, who attempts a frankensteiner but test what Ross calls a counter botches the move on his part. attempt on the GENERIC BIG MAN BOOT FINISHER! ends with his foot trapped in the ropes. after the ref and Eddie help him out, sleeper by Eddie counter with a Irish whip and a tilt-a-whirl slam by test. Saturn comes in a gives test his finisher the NUMBER 3 THE 3 HANDLED MOSS COVERED FAMILY GREDUNZEL
(NUMBER 4 ARMBAR!)
Frog splash by Eddie but pump handle by test
Malenko distracts test long enough for the belt shot to end this!
WINNER AND NEW ONE EXTRA CHAMPION: EDDIE 2/5
KURT ANGLE VS CHRIS BENIOT
(PWI 2001 MATCH OF THE YEAR)
this one starts technical with a take down by angle but Benoit recovers. a second take down and a body scissors but Chris again escapes. release suplex by angle. Both men exchange leverage holds until Chris gets an armbar (NUMBER 5! ARMBAR!) into a crossface attempt but angles is in the ropes. facelock by angle into an Inside trip but beniot counters into the crossface. Clothesline by angle and now its a brawl to the outside back in and this technical fight has broken down! Until a belly to belly suplex by angle followed by a short arm clothesline by angle. Snap suplex by Chris when he regains his composure. Superplex and both men are down angle get 2 germans then a counter into the ankle lock by angle into an ankle lock by Beniot into the crossface into the crossface by angle, foot in the ropes ref is knocked down as angle taps. body slam by a refreshed Angle who goes foe his moonsault diving headbutt by Beniot. waistlock by Beniot low blow by Kurt. series of amatuer pins until angle has the beniots tights.
WINNER ANGLE(5/5)
WOMENS CHAMPIONSHIP
china wins after a one side match (2/5)
Join me soon for part 3 for the main events. if you like what you read and want to subcribe or friend me on youtube my address is http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment where you will be notified of other post by bulletins.
and dont forget to post a comment below!
and thanks for reading!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
wrestlemania x-7: X years later! part 1
10 years ago next month, the high-grossing wrestlemania of all time happened in Houston Texas. it was a major success on so many levels. as a fan its card was stacked with stellar matches. from a business stand-point it broke attendance download ppv and video sale records. If anything, this show was the catalyst for wwf becoming wwe the following year.
And much like Linkara's Secret Origins month, while i will respectivly review these matches, i will make jokes on the gimmicks and careers of the concerned in this show, however i tell you now i will NOT be making any Beniot jokes. Too many lives were destroyed by that man and we, as fans, should not be making light of those events.
So lets start!
Calling the action tonight is the legendary Jim Ross, and former ecw owner Paul Heyman. Conspicious by his sbsence is Jerry Lawler who left in protest when his then wife, Stacy "the Kat" Carter was fired. however when carter divorved Lawler he was set to return in 2002.
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS JERICHO(c) VS WILLIAM REGAL
BACKSTORY: In 2001, regal became wwf commissioner, making lives a little harder backstage. Enter "Y2J" who pranked regal by pissing in his tea. so taking the belt will be the ultimate revenge.
Right hands by regal to start of met by a flying fore-arm by Jericho who whips regal out to the floor followed by a plancha. Back in the ring and jericho of the ropes with a SHORYUKEN~~!
GO HOME AND BE A FAMILY MAN!
Walls of Jericho attempt but regal counters with a Toss another toss by regal Arm rigger suplex by regal a sleeper is now applied by the Englishman. Jericho elbows out of it loinsault but regal cradles jericho in the corner now Regal working y2j with kicks but jericho with a kick of his own, an Enziriguri, Missle dropkick by chris. Double underhook superplex by regal. chris tries to put regal in the walls but his shoulder is giving out it gets countered into the regal stretch chris in the ropes. the Canadian fights back with chops, a bulldog, a vertical suplex and finally a loinsault and its over!
WINNER: JERICHO 4/5
6-MAN TAG
RIGHT TO CENSOR (GOODFATHER, BULL AND VAL VENISW/STEVIE RICHARDS) VS TAZ AND A.P.A (BRADSHAW AND FAAROOQ W/JACKIE MOORE) AND TAZ
BACKSTORY: In what could be his best run in WWE, stevie richards denounced Hardcore and brainwashed the other members to his way of thinking. the result a hypocritical heel faction that would resort to violence to prove a point.
This match starts quick and fast. Jackie ddts richards and bull and taz starts this match. Taz-plex on bull who whips over taz for some illegal triple-tean. venis in and russian legsweep. GF In and legdrop back suplex by Faarooq who gets a tag, rake to eyea whip and ho train then pimp drop on faaroq, bradshaw gets the tag. back drop fold away slam. double chokeslam, reverse superplex and when gf misses with the Ho train, Clothesline from hell!
WINNERS: APA AND TAZ 3/5
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
RAVEN(c) W/MUSCLES VS KANE W/MASK VS BIG SHOW W/HAIR
Raven comes out with the following weapons that dont get used at all: metal dish, safety man, Poison oak and a frankenstein doll that has the informed Ability of being a tazer.
Kane tosses raven outside to big show. who then takes them out with a flying clothesline. fight ensues in the crowd when kane gets the backstage area, Raven waffles him a sign but kane slams his head through a wall. bigshow from behind slams kane onto a pallette. Show chases after raven into a storage closet but Kane unlocks the gate kane attacks bigshow with a rake. raven from behind tries to hang kane with a piece of hose but gets thrown through a pane glass window. show sends kane though the door of a dressing room and goes through the wall. Raven escapes on a golf-cart and the fight leads back to the entrance. Punches to big show by kane. Show counters and attempts to gorilla slam but a kick by kane sents both men in to the stage below. legdrop through the stage and we have a new champion!
WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: KANE 4/5
PART 2 TOMORROW!
And much like Linkara's Secret Origins month, while i will respectivly review these matches, i will make jokes on the gimmicks and careers of the concerned in this show, however i tell you now i will NOT be making any Beniot jokes. Too many lives were destroyed by that man and we, as fans, should not be making light of those events.
So lets start!
Calling the action tonight is the legendary Jim Ross, and former ecw owner Paul Heyman. Conspicious by his sbsence is Jerry Lawler who left in protest when his then wife, Stacy "the Kat" Carter was fired. however when carter divorved Lawler he was set to return in 2002.
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS JERICHO(c) VS WILLIAM REGAL
BACKSTORY: In 2001, regal became wwf commissioner, making lives a little harder backstage. Enter "Y2J" who pranked regal by pissing in his tea. so taking the belt will be the ultimate revenge.
Right hands by regal to start of met by a flying fore-arm by Jericho who whips regal out to the floor followed by a plancha. Back in the ring and jericho of the ropes with a SHORYUKEN~~!
GO HOME AND BE A FAMILY MAN!
Walls of Jericho attempt but regal counters with a Toss another toss by regal Arm rigger suplex by regal a sleeper is now applied by the Englishman. Jericho elbows out of it loinsault but regal cradles jericho in the corner now Regal working y2j with kicks but jericho with a kick of his own, an Enziriguri, Missle dropkick by chris. Double underhook superplex by regal. chris tries to put regal in the walls but his shoulder is giving out it gets countered into the regal stretch chris in the ropes. the Canadian fights back with chops, a bulldog, a vertical suplex and finally a loinsault and its over!
WINNER: JERICHO 4/5
6-MAN TAG
RIGHT TO CENSOR (GOODFATHER, BULL AND VAL VENISW/STEVIE RICHARDS) VS TAZ AND A.P.A (BRADSHAW AND FAAROOQ W/JACKIE MOORE) AND TAZ
BACKSTORY: In what could be his best run in WWE, stevie richards denounced Hardcore and brainwashed the other members to his way of thinking. the result a hypocritical heel faction that would resort to violence to prove a point.
This match starts quick and fast. Jackie ddts richards and bull and taz starts this match. Taz-plex on bull who whips over taz for some illegal triple-tean. venis in and russian legsweep. GF In and legdrop back suplex by Faarooq who gets a tag, rake to eyea whip and ho train then pimp drop on faaroq, bradshaw gets the tag. back drop fold away slam. double chokeslam, reverse superplex and when gf misses with the Ho train, Clothesline from hell!
WINNERS: APA AND TAZ 3/5
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
RAVEN(c) W/MUSCLES VS KANE W/MASK VS BIG SHOW W/HAIR
Raven comes out with the following weapons that dont get used at all: metal dish, safety man, Poison oak and a frankenstein doll that has the informed Ability of being a tazer.
Kane tosses raven outside to big show. who then takes them out with a flying clothesline. fight ensues in the crowd when kane gets the backstage area, Raven waffles him a sign but kane slams his head through a wall. bigshow from behind slams kane onto a pallette. Show chases after raven into a storage closet but Kane unlocks the gate kane attacks bigshow with a rake. raven from behind tries to hang kane with a piece of hose but gets thrown through a pane glass window. show sends kane though the door of a dressing room and goes through the wall. Raven escapes on a golf-cart and the fight leads back to the entrance. Punches to big show by kane. Show counters and attempts to gorilla slam but a kick by kane sents both men in to the stage below. legdrop through the stage and we have a new champion!
WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: KANE 4/5
PART 2 TOMORROW!
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