WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK PART TWO

chapter 2
THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD

i woke up in a dirty dungeon my hands in shackles.
next to me a man in a sleeveless sweeter and a knotted hankie over his head

wotz yer name
Eamonn
mines GUMBIE
who put me here?
the spanish inquistion did, so they did. they rules the kingdom of mindfuck , they do i can get you out wif magic!
anything!
and he said some magic words
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
we were now walking in a forest where the trees were toothbrushes. gumby was explaining the history of Mindfuck!
long time ago a war raged that rages to this very day! the gangs of keep left signs banded together to tried to control the rage of the killer cars. at first the Cardinal el Bastardo Rameriz tried to spread peace but it turned out he was selling weapons to both sides. engines for speed, all terrian tyres. bigger keep left signs.....for keeping left!
and now the world is falling apart.
but i can get you some supplies at the market then i can bring you to the temple of martial arts.

so i bought some supplies

• tins of spam
• parrot sarnies
• a climbing rope
• a tent
• a "go home you bastards!" shield
• and a sword. a special sword. it talks

it convince me to buy it. but after fighting a man with a pieces of fresh fruit. sword fainted. the blade flopped downwards like it was made of rubber.

luclily gimbie bailed me out with his pointed stick!

Look of course i lied said Sword."do yo even know who long i've been at that marketplace? i'm not even a sword anyway, i'm an accountant an accountant who wanted to be a lointamer but i was eating by a lon and turned into a sword. but if could go to plothole i could turn back.

Our heroes venture towards the Great mountains. to the temple of martial arts to learn to learn the deadly arts of kendo, deja-fu, and the deadliest one of all joke telling. discover a dadly birthright in part 3

THE CRYPT OF THE LONG LOST JOKE!!!

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK! PART ONE

*DISCLAIMER*
THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION THIS IS AN ORIGINAL STORY/HOMAGE TO MONTY PYTHON. NO CULCHIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY.

in a packet of crisps was a competition to find the golden pouch. inside the message

CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU HAVE WON A CHEST OF DRAWERS!
A CHEST OF DRAWERS! WHERES MY FUCKING MONEY?

that night i went home and inside was my chest i won. now understand this i never sent away prize ticket so how did this chest get here.

naturally i opened a drawer to look inside and was drawn inside a wormhole!
as i hurdled towards the abyss i only had one thought on my mind.
will the place i land in have a toilet? because this expierence has scared the crap out of me!

part two:A strange world run by the spanish inquistion, and a on going between the killer cars and Gangs of Keep Left signs! As well as a market place were i buy weapons and supplies to travel towards the giant PLOT-HOLE TO return to the real world! the mindfuck continues in

THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD!

if you thought yesterdays story was good

i would like to apologise for my assumption that the "iceberg in Sydney" hoax was the greatest hoax in the world. it was a mere icecube in relation to this hoax one so famous it completley made everyone into a hysterical idiot

No not the War of worlds radio-play that is too famous.

i mean the pararama "spaghetti trees" hoax

for this hoax i would like to bring you on a journey on my verbal TARDIS

the 1950s
war was over
and with it came the television
with the first television rolling across britian there was mass hysteria for buying a television as the bbc promised to show the cornation of queen only on television.
during that time the televison itself, not just the programs in it was a talking point.
it was working. the public were in there hands
now to the main story
Pararama was (and still is) one of the most influencial current affairs program. Giving views on current affairs on places seem so far away. In short if it was on pararama. it must be true.
just what they wanted.
one night they were showing footage (which by today standards were obviously doctored) of a spaghetti being grown on a tree. Pasta wasn,t well known in the fifties and most people only saw spaghetti in hoops. in short they didn't know where it came from.
from footage in "swizterland" (in truth, Yorkshire) the harvest was taking place.
then the good bit. the reporter then revealed that british soil was the optimum condition for growing pasta all one had to do is plant a tin of spaghetti and within a month a fully grown tree
with a bounty of £200 worth of pasta every month
now pararama was (and still is) an hourly programme from 10pm
so imagine those who missed the programme waking up to neighbours digging and burying tins of spag hoops into the early hours of the morning
the next night - April 2nd pararama revealed the truth
APRIL FOOLS!

ah its April....

the birds are chirping.
the coat is getting off...for a while
and dentists are rubbing there hands in delight when a child who eat too much chocolate doesn't have a medical card

of course its was unless you don't have a cruel bone in your body,the first of april yesterday

and i have a story to tell you have what could be the most infamous April fools joke ever

I'm refering to the Iceberg in Sydney incident

i'll explain.

in the 1920s an australian millionaire in the mould of howard hughes,(read eccentric) claimed that he was making money on a mining operation but what and where was he mining?
gold in columba?
diamonds in south africa
no .

ice from antartica.
yes you read it right ICE!
he then said that he was going to barge a giant iceberg to syndey to his factory to be rendered into icecubes and selling them for $20 dollars each
the public argued that was too dear for an fecking icecube
but the millionairre said that a icecube pure and centuries old, would be the compliment to any drink.
the day arrived and so did the iceberg 40 ft high and wide the crowd was buying it they should have payed attention to the date:
april the first
and the weather report
Heavy rain as soon as the rain hit the "iceberg" it was revealed on the crowd.
all over the crowd.
because the ice berg was made of shaving cream and a 40 ft stack of blankets
the crowd then realised that they were covered in an elaborate hoax as the barge owned by the millionaire was christened....
APRIL FOOLS!!!