pathofenlightment.blogspot.com TIMELINE 2009-11

2/12/09
the site is launched as ask the path an online service for those who have general knowledge questions. i also posted the song spiderfag making fun of the then rumoured appearance of louis walsh on heroes.

2/13/09
what became a tradition here at Enlightened Towers, Eamonn taste-tested the first batch of limited edition walkers. the first batch includes irish breakfast, bhaji,duck,fish and chips, chilli and chocolate and (yes seriously!) Squirrel.

2/13/09
My first mock the week spoof, things you don't to hear over a supermarket tannoy is also written that day.

2/27/09
wrestlemania on the horizon again is Eamonn's First but not last article on Pro wrestling

3/5/09
Wrestlemania is great and all but...is Eamonn's first but not last parody on Pro Wrestling

4/1/09
my first headers are complied on this post.

4/2/09
Eamonn's first theme month a set of April fools stories are released.

5/19/09
the blog changes its name to THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE FROM THE EDGE! Its focus is now a side-ways look at wrestling and other things.

5/27/09
i compare wwe in 80s 90s and 2000s

5/31/09
Eamonn made fun of Ken Anderson for the first time, refering to him as a injury-fiegning piece of shit.

6/11/09
my face-palm moment came when i predicted that people will talk about Umaga by the end of the year. and well...

6/29/09
micheal jackson tribute

July 2009
Monty python month
first wwe results night of champions

August 2009
why wwe sucks month
codes for extra sky channels and first tna results hard justice. its also the launch for bogger box office a film review blog and vechile for the Joe-Jack The Culchie charector. joe-jack has a profile on my blog.

September 2009
TNA is the future month (this is before Hack Hogan, ovivously!) i joined youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

10/14/09
my thoughts on the historic 7-diva draft.

winter 2009
Glossary of wrestling terms

12/5/09
...Umaga is found dead this day. his death was the first i tributed.

Christmas eve 2009
results for final resolution was written at my parents house it has a bad connection and it took 4 hours to post. i vowed never to post at christmas again!

january 2010
royal rumble results and atop the 4th wall parody lyrics.

februrary 2010
Road to Wrestlemania

3/11/10
undertakers streak is re-told in march.

4/7/10
Chris Kanyon tribute.

5/13/10
the massive crossover, 3 tickets to hell, pulls into the station in may, with my review of dead or alive.

5/28/10
last years world cup walkers where reviewed with teriyaki winning it out in my opinion

july 2010
eamonn evaluated the wwe roster. he also joined the wrestling forum XWA.

10/18/10
in eamonn's most read article ever TNA IMPACT THE WORSE IS YET TO COME, Eamonn unloads on the fallout of 10-10-10

November 2010
Cadbury's month

January 2011
the Flippes my awards finally see the light of day. The Miz is (begrudgingly) the 1st wrestler of year

February 2011
YEAR 3 STARTS RIGHT NOW!

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK PART TWO

chapter 2
THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD

i woke up in a dirty dungeon my hands in shackles.
next to me a man in a sleeveless sweeter and a knotted hankie over his head

wotz yer name
Eamonn
mines GUMBIE
who put me here?
the spanish inquistion did, so they did. they rules the kingdom of mindfuck , they do i can get you out wif magic!
anything!
and he said some magic words
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
we were now walking in a forest where the trees were toothbrushes. gumby was explaining the history of Mindfuck!
long time ago a war raged that rages to this very day! the gangs of keep left signs banded together to tried to control the rage of the killer cars. at first the Cardinal el Bastardo Rameriz tried to spread peace but it turned out he was selling weapons to both sides. engines for speed, all terrian tyres. bigger keep left signs.....for keeping left!
and now the world is falling apart.
but i can get you some supplies at the market then i can bring you to the temple of martial arts.

so i bought some supplies

• tins of spam
• parrot sarnies
• a climbing rope
• a tent
• a "go home you bastards!" shield
• and a sword. a special sword. it talks

it convince me to buy it. but after fighting a man with a pieces of fresh fruit. sword fainted. the blade flopped downwards like it was made of rubber.

luclily gimbie bailed me out with his pointed stick!

Look of course i lied said Sword."do yo even know who long i've been at that marketplace? i'm not even a sword anyway, i'm an accountant an accountant who wanted to be a lointamer but i was eating by a lon and turned into a sword. but if could go to plothole i could turn back.

Our heroes venture towards the Great mountains. to the temple of martial arts to learn to learn the deadly arts of kendo, deja-fu, and the deadliest one of all joke telling. discover a dadly birthright in part 3

THE CRYPT OF THE LONG LOST JOKE!!!

WELCOME TO THE MINDFUCK! PART ONE

*DISCLAIMER*
THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION THIS IS AN ORIGINAL STORY/HOMAGE TO MONTY PYTHON. NO CULCHIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY.

in a packet of crisps was a competition to find the golden pouch. inside the message

CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU HAVE WON A CHEST OF DRAWERS!
A CHEST OF DRAWERS! WHERES MY FUCKING MONEY?

that night i went home and inside was my chest i won. now understand this i never sent away prize ticket so how did this chest get here.

naturally i opened a drawer to look inside and was drawn inside a wormhole!
as i hurdled towards the abyss i only had one thought on my mind.
will the place i land in have a toilet? because this expierence has scared the crap out of me!

part two:A strange world run by the spanish inquistion, and a on going between the killer cars and Gangs of Keep Left signs! As well as a market place were i buy weapons and supplies to travel towards the giant PLOT-HOLE TO return to the real world! the mindfuck continues in

THE SWORD THAT FAINTS IN THE SIGHT OF BLOOD!

python final countdown

4 The pearl harbour recreation society
Premise: a group of house wifes beat each other with there handbags

3. the Lumberjack song

im a lumberjack
and thats ok!
i sleep all night and i work all day!

a chorus line repeats line in the 2nd person

i cut down trees
i eat my lunch
i go to the lavotry
on wednesday i go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea.

chorus repeats line in 2nd person

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i skip and jump
i like to press wild flowers
i put on womens clothing
and hang around in bars!

chorus line repeats line in 2nd person but looks at each other worryingly when they sing "he puts on womens clothing and hang around in bars?"

hes a lumberjack and hes ok
he sleeps all night and he works all day

i cut down trees
i wear high heels
suspenders and a bra!
i wish i was born a girlie!
just like my dear mama!

chorus line sing have way through before they leave giving abuse to the lumberjack

2 Nudge nudge wink wink
Premise: a streetwise jack-the-lad type annoys a posh man about his wife
so are you married
yes i am
does your wife...er....go does she go?
yes she does travel she's from torquay
torquay eh say no more say no more down south eh nudge nudge wink wink! say no more! well now does she have any hobbies?
what on earth do you mean?
is she into.....photography? holiday pictures?
posh man(angrily) WHAT I YOU TRYING TO IMPLY
Jack: i'm not saying anything i just want to know if you and your wife
WHAT???
had sex
yes!
and whats it like?

and the number 1 monty python moment is was there ever any doubt?

THE DEAD PARROT!

cleese: yes i have a complaint
Palin: and whats the problem?
i bought a parrot an hour ago and look at him
oh is he asleep?
hes not asleep he's dead!!
(Palin pushes the cage) look he moved
he did not!
look he is asleep!
with his eyes open!
when i sold you that parrot he was on that perch!
yes about that! On closer inspection i saw his feet were nailed to said perch
he's asleep!
he is not asleep look(cleese bangs parrot on counter and shouts in its ear)HELLO POLLY PARROT!!! see its dead
Now it is
look its being dead for hours its bit the big one, its played his last card, it shuffled of it's mortal coil and joined the choir invisible. it's an ex-parrot!

Palin: fancy a pint?
Cleese: thought you'd never ask....

join me for more python fun this month

Monty python month begins now !

due to time issues, my post of the top ten moments will be a part-work so in any road, ITS!!!!

THE TOP TEN GREATEST MONTY PYTHON MOMENTS EVER

NUMBER 10. THE FOUR YORKSHIRE MEN!

PREMISE:4 sucessful men now living in south africa talk about there hard up-bringing however they end up trying to out do each other in there stories.

the joke:

1st man: if any one was so to tell us that we would be drinking cognac i would said you were joking in my day all i got for a schilling was a cup of tea!

2nd man: yeah a cup of cold tea!
3rd man: you were lucky to get a full cup i got a half cup of cold tea!
4th man: you were lucky to get a cup! i could only get a crumbled up newspaper full of tea!

well i was living in a house with hot water
you were lucky to have a house! we was living in a flat with 3 families and no hot water!
you were lucky to have a flat! we was living a corridor with half a floor and half a ceiling so you'll either die by falling down in the hole or got wet
you were lucky to have a corridor. we were living in shoebox with 100 people!

im my first job i was 10 years old working as a miner
you were lucky to be a miner, i was 10 months old when i was throwing dynamite!
you were lucky to be throwing dynamite! i was 10 weeks old and pushing carts!
you were lucky to be pushing carts! i was 10 days old and was a pit pony!

but if you told young people that they would not believe you!
stay turned for more great gags

and now for something complety different!!!

hey kids!
its almost July!
you know what that means!
probably not since i'm making it up!

its MONTY PYTHON MONTH!

on my first post and every post next month i will be posting in the genius style of messers jones gilliam cleese palin terry and chapman

so here is my schedule

week 1: top 10 monty jokes
week 2 : songs
week 3 : tribute post
week 4: an original story with monty python elements and pathofenlightment elements

please fondle my buttocks!
the bus station? over there!

do you like my headers ?

i got the idea from the bravo continality, here is the ones i have on my blog in the past

• on the road to wrestlemania
• opening a can of WHUPASS
• as part as a nutritious breakfast
• crying police brutality
• is a sign of the apocalypse
• NOT eating my weight in chocolate
• is a lumberjack but that's ok!
• doing the time warp again!
• MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!
• running wild, brother!
• watering my cherry tree because its earth day
• FOR GONDOR AND MIDDLE-EARTH!!!!!!!!!
• voting sinn fien
• wants to go 12 rounds with John Cena.... with a kendo stick!
• served with chips or rice!
• behind enemy lines
• WHOS YOUR DADDY??????
• ARSE! FECK! DRINK! GIRLS!
• has performed a illegal action and needs to be shut down.
• is not asleep he's dead!
• moonwalking
• eating spam
• upper class twit of the year
• is not the messiah hes a very naughty boy!
• armed with a pointed stick!
• sleeping on the couch
• and new heavyweight champion!
• walking that ailse
• drinking Monster ripper
• kicking ass and taking names
• Crying wont help you, praying wont do you no good!
• flying the flag
• mothers lock up your daughters!
• you wont like him when hes angry!
• doing night fever in the mirror
• HAS TWO WORDS FOR YA.......SUCK IT!!!!!!
• I AM A MAN! (PUNCH)
• has too much free time on his hands
• hallo am i on D'air?
• won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck
• pitying fools!
• raising the roof
• 64 degrees and cloudy
• does what he likes and likes what he does
• FREEBIRD!
• wavy-gravying
• living the dream
• dilute to taste
• intro to "show me how to live" by Audioslave (im not writting it all out again-eamonn)
• Carving pumpkins
• dAZED aND cONFUSED
• read in 7 countries and counting
• transformed and rolled out
• learning how to backstroke
• and christian bale are done profressionally!
• taping my thumb in respect!
• has a shiny nose!
• pulling crackers
• Meow
• playing Guilty Gear
• IS OVER 9000!
• enlightened for a year and will be for many more!
• lives like a super villian.
• tired and emotional
• IM FROM WINNEPEG YOU IDIOT!
• Welcome to 3 tickets to hell
• felt the rains down in africa.
• Sunburnt
• Would like a 99!
• Drinking monster kaos
• is the stig!
• may contain nuts
• sweet
• as part as your 5 a day
• Kicking your skinny fat ass!

if you like my headers or have an idea for one please drop me a line at eberminghamot@live.ie my dream is that my headers get a wikiquote page
look out for a new one tomorrow!