Tekken month:top 10 tracks(Warning! *SPOILERS!*)

GOD NOW I KNOW HOW THE SOUNDTRACK TEAM WORKING ON TAG 2 FEEL.

With 15 years of atmospheric tracks, whittling them down to 10 was no small feat and one that will debate and agrument. So let fate bring those who heed the call, this is top ten tekken tracks.

Nunber 10.
HEAVENLY GARDEN/FALLEN GARDEN(TAG 2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evzrS5wS-8
Many people were shocked to find out that Jun was to be the final boss in tag 2 not true orge, However, if it's all about the entrance, then appearing FROM THE DEAD, IN A BALL OF LIGHT, NUKING TRUE ORGE AND STEPPING OUT INTO A RESPLENDENT VISION OF HEAVEN AS THIS PLAYS IS UNDER STATING IT'S AWESOMENESS!
And if you it's think it's over, think again. at the 1:50 mark, this happens
Wow, you talk about the complete oppossite!
You take a calming track and then it drops a dub-step bassline from nowhere into an aggressive-sounding track, while at the same time is composed of the same melodies and instruments. Thats what it is a corruption. The stage is now night , with rotten flowers and water is now Liquid latex or what ever it is      (J)Unknown now wears. And it fits perfectly what ever has bought jun back has corrupted her.

Number9
HALL OF JUGEMENT(AKA JIN'S THEME)
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcLplcQ-8
I'm expecting backlash for this having so low for one reason alone: Over-Saturation.
Its was in 4 in the vault. in devil within on 5, Jin and Xiao's pandora form theme in SFXT and gained the hall of judgement name in Tag 2. And after 4, With his new moveset that you had to re-master and the whole selling out your divine mission for a throne crap, Jin has lost favour with the fans. his Initial theme,though is standard.
You can listen to this in your throne all day, blissfully unaware that your mother, cousin and girlfriend are conspiring to kill you!

Number8
JULIA'S THEME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYnjHcB3DM8
There are piece of music that reflect the personality of the charectors. Jack-2 man of artificality, Armour kings monument Valley and both of Xiaoyu's original tracks. But none capture Julia's reluctant nature to fight than this track builds and builds until the guitar hook brings it on home. Yeah she maybe reluntant to fight but i punished many a player in Sinnott's in Cortown with X AND CIRCLE, CIRCLE, CIRCLE, CIRCLE!

NUMBER 7
ANGER OF THE EARTH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsqSRmenf1g
We had piece of music that explained charectors, Now we have a piece music that describes the background! Fighting during an earthquake while a volcano destroys all including a church showing us that fate in god is no match for Mother Nature.

TIED FOR 6!
FALLEN COLONY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSKUVpcF-Xw
AND MADE OF STONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLzZakiVoiA
These are here for 2 Noodle Incidents in the Tekkeniverse, Namely how did Big Ben get blown up on a beach in Devon? and When was Washington Dc built by Bloody Stupid Johnson?(NO NOT BORIS!~But the incompent artisan builer of Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld)
Since steve is a Londoner I'm surprised that no-one has ever mentioned this or asked any of the 20+plus American charecters if Obama needs a cherry picker to gets to his office?
These are never asked, and probably never will!

Number 5
QUIET INTERIM REPORT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf65nkeBe8ky
Lets talk about Boss Music. Usually it helps to strike a balance between Tenseness and Listening Enjoyment. Too tense, like monument valley and you run too quick making mistakes. Too aesthetically Pleasing, You get caught in the moment and still lose. This Strikes a perfect balance.

NUMBER 4
SPARKING!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_CO64-fvKA
Imagine the scene You are Harada's staff working on T5. Tekken 4 has being visiously panned by critics. But all is well.X and Square and the 4-button super-charger is back, the stages are a mixture of walled and classic free-roaming arenas. Most of the cast whose moves where absorbed by orge are back. Combot is put the same bus as are  the Mariachi band that supplied 4's BGM. But how do you show that you've done your homework?
WITH AN BIG ASS INTRO!
And by God isn't the intro all kinds of awesome!
The first is the direct ending to 4. After Jin hands his Daddy and Gran-daddy asses to them, Both are awakened by a helicopter that shoots pods into Honmaru. As the pods reveal themselves to be Jack-4s, For the first time since-ever!, 'Hachi and Kaz team up to take out the killer robots, Until Baztardya in True Bastard with Dada Issues Form, turns on 'hachi, throwing him into the Jack who bundle, then blow up. as Raven looks on confirming the death Heihachi as he cuts a Jack in half.
-Okay intro over lets play this ga-
#I'M HERE NOW~!
wait a second intro?
Yes the Lyric above starts the second intro as Sparking! become bgm. as an intro its really a roster call of who's in the game as well as showing us which of the new charectors are face and hell (Clue: saving kittens,Good! Killing elderly men, BAD!). Its up here for being a rock track and sounding like Linkin Park.

3-WAY TIE FOR THIRD!
CYBORG NINJA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3wwOJG8RVs
Yoshi's 2nd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc0MTQGzwoo
And No Eyes, No Ears...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsvB0s_bI9U
All these have on thing in common they all belong to one man...alien...robot...whatever he is, Yoshimitsu

Yoshi just may be the charector people thing of when they think of Tekken. So ugly and yet so likable. and of all the charectors filled with different personalities. it's the alien that is the most human. All the tracks are immersive techo(in the case of No eyes, no ears-Trance-like) Tracks.

NUMBER 2
EMOTIONLESS PASSION(AKA KAZUYA'S THEME)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G53GWYxRGq8
Seeing and hearing all these tracks as bought back some memories, but hearing this back a painful one:
I Hate The Mist Step!
Before Tekken 3 made the mist step a move that everyone has, it only belonged to the man quickly dubbed as Baztardya, and boy howdy, didn't the Cpu abuse the move so much it didn't take long before you where lying on the ornate carpet, counting lights.

And the number 1 Tekken track is...
BLACK WINTER SKY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVFnXKpiH5M
If I'm playing a game for the first time, i watch the entire intro from start to finish, so i get the feel of the story and game Quality. And of all the tekken intros, all of them great, Black winter sky is simply acoustic gold. With charectors showing less polygons since there first outing, we are treated to a dynamic Intro, with motorbikes, thunderstorms, exploding shops and a sweeping shot of the hall of kazuya's mansion as the sub boss fly around, ending with Angel holding Kaz in a possessive Manner.
Very telling considering who Angel really is.

So there you have it.
Normal Service to resume tomorrow when i give my opinions on Last nights Money in the bank PPV

Tekken month:Eamonn reviews Tekken Live Action.

This months theme -Jin's theme-Tekken 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcLPL8cQ-8
Welcome to Tekken Month here at The Enlightened Page. Many Have been Wondering why I;m reviewing a film here and not on Bogger Box office.
2 words.
Old Shame.
Back in 2009 I said was excited about the tekken movie as i saw the first stills and liked what i saw.
The GamesMaster did an interview with Harada that said Optimum payed him and his Staff NOT to overview the production, we feared the worst.
And what was the worst?
Missing  charecters, Misplaced Etnicities and a yoshimtsu costume from Eurosaver!

So let's Insert coins to play Tekken live Action.

So Instead of the actual tekken storyline we are plunged into a shitty rip-off of Running Man, where it's really 2034, not present day and the world is now run by corporations not  governments.

Okay is this about the "war" between Mishima Zaibatsu and G-gorp? because they are not countries. Never onces did Heihachi or Kazuya invaded countries, Jin tried to invade Spain but the U.N. stopped that shit cold just like in real life.
And if it was always the cause that whole continents were ALWAYS controlled by companies wouldn't  stating the nationality in manuals be pointless? Nina was always refered to as Irish. I never saw her referred to as being from "Brikhausen" as they call Europe here.

We begin the film proper as Jin (john Foo) evades Kalishplosions in his fetch quest for an Internet Router. He lives in what was new york (now called Anvil, yes really) in the USA (now called Tekken, Yes really)

After being payed by $500 by Bonner, Jin watches a press conference held by Heihaci(played by Tsang sung from Mortal Kombat), Jin buys coffee, an orange and a bar of chocolate(all illegal here!) from Tiger Jackson and...wait what?
They are giving speaking part to an actor to play a one-shot character?

We Cut to Heihachi and Kazuya (played by a white actor) Inspecting the Jacks(Really the tekken Force, but hey if actually got Namco to watch the film then it would never have came out with the amount of mistakes to correct!) At least they get something right, Kazuya despites his father still.

Jin returns home to his mother, Jun making this film around the tekken 3 storyline hadn't the timeline being butchered.
So Mother and son have an arguement which goes something like this
-Mom, why did you train me to fight while banning me from the tourney?
-Well. its got nothing to do with the Angel I turn into and the Devil Kaz turns into forcing us to have the sex that conceived you!
-WHAT????!?
-NOTHING!
Whatever! Here's hoping you don't die, so I'm forced to join tekken to find answers to your murder!
Aaaaaaand five minutes later, she's dead!
Searching the rubble that was his house, he finds Jun's tekken worker I.D.

So Jin goes to the open match run by Steve fox (Luke Goss)
Don't remember him? let me refresh you're memory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OiXa4R0esy
Don't ask me which he is, they all look the same. 

So Jin defeats Marshall Law(wow, Law just can't catch a break, First Forrestt gets in a bike accident, He loses his restaurant, and now he was sent into space in the Pandorra with Paul ,and now this!)

Oh and just to piss off fans further Tekken is now Cagefighting, because tekken is not known for open fighting in stunning backdrops, no, it's known for repetitive moves in confined spaces.

Steve becomes Jin's agent and they head to Iron fist stadium
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic4LfioBxBE
Did you enjoy that piece of legit tekken action well have it destroyed by the next scene
Kazuya having a threesome with Anna and Nina!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6utE5APd4wA
Even Lee had his ass handed to him by both for even suggesting that in Tekken Amine, But Kazuya? He doesn't have the time between Killing his son and father repeatedly to have time with the ladies.
Next night,(as all this was shot at night) Kazuya reveals the competitors.

• Raven(G-Corp,making him Arabic and not Canadian) Played by a Wesley Snipes Lookalike, because he didn't need the money(Ironically,Snipes was popped for Tax Evasion in 2009 when this was in production!)
• Eddy Gordo(ValenCorp) Now an "underground enforcer with a bounty on his head"
• Dragonov-Who has a healthy tan for a Goth!
• The Williams Sisters(representing Eyderdex, Making them...South African?)
• Christie Monterio (from Veltrocorp, Making her Australian, More on her Charecter Assassination later!)
• Miguel Rojo(Making him a Cannon emigrant)
• Yoshimitsu(you can see the zip on his costume's back)
• And Finally Bryan Fury who all things considered looks more like he's supposed to.

So Jin starts some small talk with christie.Christie in the tekken games looks like this
http://www.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Christie
if you scroll down on the above page you will see Kelly Overtun who plays Christie in this film.
Word of God from Harada tell us claims Christie's Design is based on this women
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMULiwetU
Can we get a picture of Kelly Overtun and beyonce together?
Wow(!) It's like they were seperated at birth(!)

First Round, Raven defeats Eddy, Jin Defeats Miguel, After his Match Christie invites him to go clubbing, ending the scene with a kiss that will upset Jin/Xiao shippers and Christie/Eddy shippers. As Christie leaves, Jin is attacked by the Williams Dressed as Ninjas. Steve is pissed that Tekken is rigging the competition.

Round 2, Christie vs Nina, Whose famous Catsuit is now a bikini and assless chaps, is defeated by Christie.
Backstage Kazuya blackmails Bryan about his Cybernetic enhancements, Paying him€1000,000 for the service of killing Jin.

Yoshimistu vs Jin is next. Kaz launches his takeover of Tekken. Steve gives Jin his power gloves. Kaz reveals during the fight that he is Jin's father.
Heihachi saves Jin after Jin Kills Yoshi.

All the fighters get detained, Kaz tells Jin that Yoshi is alive but ratings spiked so high the remainder of the tournament will be to the death.Raven,Jin, Christie and Steve have a break out, leaving the Williams to rot, They rescue Heihachi and take him to Anvil City, Where Jin told that not only is Kaz his father, he is a Rape Baby.

The Jacks destroy the safe house and kills Steve and Heihachi and captures christie.

Under the new rules, Bryan kills Dragonov, And Kazuya taunts Jin. The game does it better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIHbRpzXW1Y
Raven gives Jin words of encourgement before the final:
JIN VS BRYAN
As he found out in Tekken 4, Bryan's Malfuntioning Cyperparts actually enhance his strength, But using a diving kick from a tower, Jin Kills Bryan.

Kaz goes to fight his son with axes.
Lets finish this!
Christie escapes distacting Kazuya long enough to lose.Returning home, Jin becomes Leader of the Resistance.
Hopefully the Resistance has supplied a Throne Room for him to sit and look Emo on.

THIS FILM SUCKS!
You can see that this was no effort to make an actual canonic experience for fans. Miscast actors, most of them the wrong race and Incessant Terminology of Tekken terms, make this a detached experiece of actual tekken storyline.They're some good points, the costumes makes the actors look the Tekken Fighters...from a distance. But the fight scences, Kalishplosions and collapsable walls in some fight scenes make look like an episode of Power Rangers.

Not the kind of thing a fan of Martial Arts films wants to hear.
But if you want to read how to do a Tekken film RIGHT, Stay tuned to boggerboxoffice.blogspot.com

CREDITS
Tekken live action Review was Written, edited and compiled by Eamonn Bermingham
With clips from:
Tekken Live Action
Russel Howard's Good News
Tekkenpedia
With music:
Jin's theme from Tekken 3
When Will I Be Famous by Bros
Girls(Who Runs The World?) by Beyonce
All clips belong to there respected owners, all Rights Reserved
Tekken is the property of Namco/Bandai
and Tekken live action is produced by Optimum Releasing.
Follow me on youtube on http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment.

Summer schedule 2012

Here's what I have in the Ganderbag for you this summer.

THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE
May-Winning Nxt and tough enough...Is It Worth it?
June-PPV RESULTS WILL RETURN BY THEN!
August-Mantatory Month off. (scheduled to change!)

BOGGER BOX OFFICE SCHEDULE
May-1 Ticket to Hell-Eamonn reviews Silent Hill (3-parter!)
-Ending to be choose by you by amount of page views.
 this will end the current story line and begin the new one in June, Starting with...
June-Constantine.
August-Eamonn reveals the REAL sequal to Ghostbusters!

JULY IS TEKKEN MONTH ON BOTH BLOGS!
THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE FOR JULY

• Review of Tekken: Live Action!
• top 10 tekken music
• Family Counselling Will Not Sort This! The Complete backstory to Tekken.

Bogger box office.
Eamonn reviews Tekken:Blood Vengance

You like?Tell me at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

I am looking forward to the Tekken Movie this summer

A confession to you.

I love computer games

for a 90s Child the only thing to block the rise of boybands and rappers singing about how much money they have. Computer games were the most fun that was had. A trip to courtown was hell for me, A fat milk skinned (at the time) red haired red faced eejit like myself.

Unless i went to an arcade or "machines" as we called them in Ireland.

one of the games, those who know me well would tell you, i loved was street fighter.

so when street fighter the movie came out with Jean claude Van Damme and (sigh!!!!) Kylie Minogue I knew i was in trouble.
and where is the dvds being sold?

In Pound-shops nationwide right next to German Coke, 2003 revival Troll-dolls (or any toy from a Pop cartoon or it's sister channels) and Jade Goody's perfume.

Yes the film sucked noodles!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i saw screens of the film and everything looks good. the actors look the part, the costumes are correct, the story (unlike SF) is based its universe.

all i hope is the acting is not horrendous like street fighter was.

oh and p.s.
Congrats to my hero Terry Pratchett or being knighted on tuesday.
Keep on keeping on Grand Wizard.

And Keep on everybody,
THEPATHOFENLIGHTMENT,
EAMONN.