Sorry to dissapoint by making this a quickie but if wwe are going to be half-assed making a pay-per-view, then i'm going to be half-assed in reviewing 1!
First match was A rematch for the world's championship, against Big Slow and ADR. Before the match ADR got a pep-talk from Bret Hart. Great to see Bret Hart and him meeting Del Rio was great, as Bret mentioned himself both men are strongly alike, coming from powerful Wrestling families who dominate their home countries. the Match itself was your standard Big Shite affair. Punches, kicks and chops, and the opponent refering to moves than holds. Del rio won when Ricardo tied Big Blow with duct tape. and somewhere Dave Shitista is having a fit!
Good news! GOBSHITE FROM MTV! is not good enough to be on ppv. the Bad news Antonio Cesaro is not good enough to be on ppv.
Match of the night, Team Hell No (I wish they would have being called Team Burnt Veggies!) defeated team WOADTH THCOLARTH (That how Cody Woadth pronounces "Rhodes Scholars").
So an Effeminate Man is "partners" with a man dressed in pink shorts and a bathrobe? I DON'T WANT TO GIVE SLASH-FICCERS MATERIAL BUT...Anyway the match was incredible Any play-by-play would not do it Justice! I suggest you look up the match on youtube or the dvd when it comes out.
For the first time ever, the Royal Rumble Match was NOT the Main Event. Here are the noteworthy events of this mornings match.
- Chris Jericho returned as the number 2. Y2J tweeted that he is back for good (or when the next album we won't hear or buy is cut. Whichever comes first!)
- Goldust is back! To fued with Cody! A year too late! Should have given the match for the title he petitioned for last year, Vince, or do you only give title shot to movie stars for publicity at the Rock's next Nazi Rat Straight-to-Dvd family Crap-fest?
- Bo Dallas, the son of I.R.S, Made a name for himself in his ppv debut, eliminating the I.C. Champ, Wade Barrett. Barrett returned the favour by eliminating Dallas and hitting the Bullhammer on the 3rd Gen Rookie.
- Godfather appearred-then disapeered eliminated after a few seconds. Less Ho-Train and more like Ho-Replacement Bus Service!
- Kofi used Jibble's Chair as a pogo stick for Daring Escape form Elimination...only to get eliminated.
- Finally the winner was STATUS QUO!, Run through by it's agent of Stagnation, John FUCKING Cena!
And as it that was not bad enough, A HALF-ASSED Main Event, after 5 minutes of the rock seemingly holding back, the Shield attacked the rock under the cover of darkness. Vince MacMahon came to strip the belt but instead, restarted the match One People's Elbow later and the 400+ day reign of CM PUNK came to an end. But you know that rock would win, because wwe spoiled it by showing the rock in the Elimination Chamber advert! (not phottoshopped holding the title but it was a Foregone Conclusion)
And so the road to wrestlemania has hit it's first pot-hole. Lets hope it's smooth cruising from here on in.
