pathofenlightment.blogspot.com TIMELINE 2009-11

2/12/09
the site is launched as ask the path an online service for those who have general knowledge questions. i also posted the song spiderfag making fun of the then rumoured appearance of louis walsh on heroes.

2/13/09
what became a tradition here at Enlightened Towers, Eamonn taste-tested the first batch of limited edition walkers. the first batch includes irish breakfast, bhaji,duck,fish and chips, chilli and chocolate and (yes seriously!) Squirrel.

2/13/09
My first mock the week spoof, things you don't to hear over a supermarket tannoy is also written that day.

2/27/09
wrestlemania on the horizon again is Eamonn's First but not last article on Pro wrestling

3/5/09
Wrestlemania is great and all but...is Eamonn's first but not last parody on Pro Wrestling

4/1/09
my first headers are complied on this post.

4/2/09
Eamonn's first theme month a set of April fools stories are released.

5/19/09
the blog changes its name to THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE FROM THE EDGE! Its focus is now a side-ways look at wrestling and other things.

5/27/09
i compare wwe in 80s 90s and 2000s

5/31/09
Eamonn made fun of Ken Anderson for the first time, refering to him as a injury-fiegning piece of shit.

6/11/09
my face-palm moment came when i predicted that people will talk about Umaga by the end of the year. and well...

6/29/09
micheal jackson tribute

July 2009
Monty python month
first wwe results night of champions

August 2009
why wwe sucks month
codes for extra sky channels and first tna results hard justice. its also the launch for bogger box office a film review blog and vechile for the Joe-Jack The Culchie charector. joe-jack has a profile on my blog.

September 2009
TNA is the future month (this is before Hack Hogan, ovivously!) i joined youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment

10/14/09
my thoughts on the historic 7-diva draft.

winter 2009
Glossary of wrestling terms

12/5/09
...Umaga is found dead this day. his death was the first i tributed.

Christmas eve 2009
results for final resolution was written at my parents house it has a bad connection and it took 4 hours to post. i vowed never to post at christmas again!

january 2010
royal rumble results and atop the 4th wall parody lyrics.

februrary 2010
Road to Wrestlemania

3/11/10
undertakers streak is re-told in march.

4/7/10
Chris Kanyon tribute.

5/13/10
the massive crossover, 3 tickets to hell, pulls into the station in may, with my review of dead or alive.

5/28/10
last years world cup walkers where reviewed with teriyaki winning it out in my opinion

july 2010
eamonn evaluated the wwe roster. he also joined the wrestling forum XWA.

10/18/10
in eamonn's most read article ever TNA IMPACT THE WORSE IS YET TO COME, Eamonn unloads on the fallout of 10-10-10

November 2010
Cadbury's month

January 2011
the Flippes my awards finally see the light of day. The Miz is (begrudgingly) the 1st wrestler of year

February 2011
YEAR 3 STARTS RIGHT NOW!

worst chat up lines

its been a while since ive done this so heres another mock the week scence we like to see

• i collect phone numbers, can i have yours?
• you dont sweat much for a fat one!
• hi i'm Dick Hammerbush and this my friend, Pat McGroin!
• i've a wooden leg! guess which one! (this was used on me-eamonn!)
• what can i get for 10 euro?
• are you going to eat that?
• INTERCOURSE! I WANT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH YOU!(from American Dad)

things mr kennedy could do with his hands!

this a blog of two faces.

1. this is a comedy blog of my opinions and of the best kind of banter. Witty.
2. this is a wrestling blog as wrestling can be funny and filled with the best kind of wrestling banter. Smarky.

so now two tastes that taste good together.

wrestling rants and my home-made mock the week scenes we like to see. i give you....

Mock The WWEek!

today's subject is the video that Kennedy posted after being fired by wwe because his skeleton is as fragile as FUCKING balsa. he doesn't know what to with his hands i have a few suggestions

• sell microphones
• do an interview that every washed-up wrestler does and say Macmahon GAVE YOU the steroids so you get suspended when you got caught.
• make cheese you are from Wisconsion
• make a voodoo doll of vince!
• juggle but wait you already juggled your suppossed "rehab" and "Healing" time to make Behind in the box office ratings......i mean enemy lines
• and finally learn first aid that way when tna does hire you to a $2 million dollar contract you dont piss that making a straight to dvd film......for universal studios!

things you would not hear at eurovision!!

• America Douze points!
• vote for us ya poles or we'll deport the whole shaggin' lot of ya!
• wow turkey's entry has belly-dancers! i never saw that one coming!
• i'm Terry wogan and on sundays i fall over drunk for prince phillips amusement
• and for you entertainment here in Russia Yalkult Smirmofff!
• My Lovely Horse! Running Through the Fieeeeeeeeelds!.....
• sometimes i wonder why we even bother!
• wait a minute all the songs are plagierised!
• and now that the performance is over its time to trash the stage!

nerd battle cries

• ALRIGHT CHUMS LETS DO THIS! LEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOY JENKINS!
• IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALAAAAA!
• FOR GONDOR AND MIDDLE-EARTH!
• ITS STILL REAL TO ME DAHMMIT!
• ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE!
• MORTAL KOMBAT!!
• WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?
• ARSE! FECK! DRINK!
• HADOKEN!

failed party games

• the game for wrestling dumb in your life! Game of no life!
• recession monopoly! play as a pink-slip, a boarded up bank and a atm with insolvent funds
• hide the sausage (a favourite of Louis Walsh and his boybands!)

replacement host for plank kenny (not real its a joke)

• Russel brand
• Freddie star
• Gary glitter
• Dara o 'brien
• Osama bin laden
• Dustin
• me!!
• howard stern
• the nostalgia critic (believe me he's one funny sumbitch)
• MOBO the news monstor (from futurama)
• ME!!!
• The guy from big brother with the tourettes symdrome
• Podge and rodge
• dame enda
• ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE REMOTELY ENTERTAINING THAN PLANK KENNY

dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

things you don,t what to hear at strike or rally

• BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WE ALL LIVE IN A FACIST NATION!
• BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!! (towards minister)
• Reduce carbon or we'll burn your house!
• death to the west!(shiek scream)
• you can take my job BUT YOU CAN NOT TAKE MY FREEDOM!!!!
• when you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.....
• THIS. IS. TUI! (kicks Persian messager into well) AND TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!
• E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!
• i know lets not get the government involved
• of course its not a tank! who would bring a tank to a chinese student rally?

places you don't want to go on a school outing

• titanic boat ride
• louis walshe's closet
• big brother set at midnight with the cameras still on!
• vatican male changing room
• iraq
• pontypridd all-u-can eat "fresh" Bacon blowout!
• hell... also known as the gaeltacht!

things Brian Cowen would'nt say!

• i learned how to count with potatoes
• Arse! Feck! Drink!
• that is terrible language...
• coughlin, sort out them effers
• it looks like we will lose another generation of Irish to emirgration....starting with me
• i'm raising money for the party by sellin' home brew!

Death wish situations

• bungie-jumping into a flushing toilet
• going into a trucker/biker bar and saying "Is this a gay bar?
• standing in a line for the Harry Potter book prediocally shouting "HE DIES!"
• Playing Guess who with Samual L. Jackson....Does he look like a bitch? DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!?!
• Going to a Wrestling show and holding a big sign saying It's fake!
• Playing Keep away with pete Doherty...and his hash pipe
• meeting the pope wearing a LGBT t-shirt

failed celebrity endorsed food stuffs

• Brian Lenihan's Credit Crunch Cereal
• louis walshes hot dogs: Putting his meat into young mens buns since 1994
• siegried and roy cereal taste grrrrrrreat!!!!!

things you never hear on a celebrity stalker programme

• and here is Paris Hilton in Harvard, lecturing students on Einstiens Theories.
• here she is, on the red carpet in a dress bought from Heatons.
• britney spears: born again christian, clean and sober.
• CORNATION STREET :ON ICE!!!
• Sting has being spotted in brazil the other day, Chopping down rainforest and eating parrot sarnies
• and Angelina Jolie has a new foriegn baby this week, beceause they're on a subsricption service.
• you can now buy Jade's hair on ebay (yes i'm going to hell for that one)
• since that model has gained 4 stone it's safe to say her career is over
• pussycat dolls :well endowed....with talent!
• rod stewert on a date... with a woman his age!
• louis walsh wins the x factor as ... as the world swallows him whole
• every time you buy a westlife cd, god kills a kitten.

things you don't want to hear over a supermarket tannoy

• clean up on ailse 5 (scottish accent) there has being a MUR DUR!
• Please collect your butter tokens at the smoking bins
• Mr Glitter to Daycare, daygare is looking for Mr Glitter
• ALMOST FRESH FRUIT! REASONBLE VALUE!
• hi-dee-hi...
• this match scheduled for one fall