i hate soccor.
if did like soccor then i would'nt have become
THE(self proclaimed) GREATEST WRESTLING WRITER IN IRELAND!
but i do like tie-ins
and since mcdonalds have dropped the ball on making a limited edition burger its walkers crisps to the rescue. with 13 not 15 new flavours and each is a different flavour and country.
Irish stew
what it is: a stew of beef, carrot,parsnips and lentils.
What it tastes like: a crisp with a delicous more-ish flavour
English roast beef.
what it is: roast beef yorkshire pudding and gravy
what it taste like: horrible just the taste of gravy. no beef at all
Spanish Paella
a thin stew made with cod shrimp and mussels. but it a chicken one we are having
What it tastes like: spicy with a nice mix of vegetables
French Garlic baguette
GARLIC...BREAD?
What taste like: a buttery flavoured crisp with a full flavour. not everyone likes Garlic though!
Italian spagetti bolanase
what it tastes like: like it says on the tin! but this was the last flavour i taste and i have to say this of 13 flavours ,5 where beef dishes. at least make italy carbonara at least.
German bratwurst.
a big saugase filled with herbs spices and a lot of meat.
What tastes like smells like a hot-dog and tastes just as good.
edam cheese
THE ONLY CHEESE MADE BACKWARDS!
bad joke aside,this flavour made me nostalgic for cheese-um pringles.
South african chutney.
chutney. the southen hemispere counterpart of Marmite.
horrible vile flavour. next
Australian kangaroo
The kangaroo.
symbol of australia.
savers of little boys down wells.
and now~crisp flavour?
dont get your hopes up its just smokey bacon!
Japanese Teriyaki
this is a delicious flavour. it makes me want to have a bowl now, if i could a bowl in ireland anyway.
argentinaean steak
bland. but a least we know where the meat from england went.
Brazilian salsa
an exploision of spice greets you at crisp 1. and has a tomatoey after taste.
American cheeseburger.
tastes just like a big mac! if fact macdonalds should just team with walkers and make this a permanent flavour. the taste is uncanny!
Winner
Japan
runners up
usa
ireland
germany.
well thats it join me at the end of this month for fatal fourway results.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
3 TICKETS TO HELL:PART 1:DEAD OR ALIVE!
(THIS IS PART1 FOR PART 2-boggerboxoffice.blogspot.com)
For part 3 xwauniverse.com-off topic forum)
I love computer Games.
Sonic,Mario,Final fantasy, Streets of rage,Golden axe
these Aren't parts of my childhood, These ARE chilshood as far as i'm concerned.
But there is one Genre of Game that i enjoy
FIGHTERS
Street fighter,Mortal Kombat, Tekken Hell even Bloody Roar I love fighters. i have played the first game of every one and the subject matter of todays film and i didnt like it.
The Complicated jerky controls, lack of a story mode and bland carectors turned me off the game. it was only popular because of the ridicolusly large chested female carectors. not surprisly a spin-off of a volleyball game that was exclusive to x-box single handedly boosted the consoles sales.
so now i'm reviewing the movie and loh and behold its a perfect transition into film, with sub-standard story and bland one dimensional carectors as well as hundreds of soft-core bikini shots rather than focusing on being a fighting film.
So lets review this as we pull out on our 3 tickets to hell.
The film starts in a hidden temple in Japan. Where the Ninja princess Kasumi (Played by that hot asian chick in Fast Car GO VROOM!-i mean 2 fast 2 Furious) is told that her brother Hetachi has died. Unconvinced, she sets off to the tournament that he was last seen. Her Guard, Hayabusa, (who for the record never once wears the trademark mask, by the way) warns her that if she leaves the palace, she will be a shinobi, and the guards will kill her. as kasumi walks down the palace steps. the guards are reluntant to kill there only ruler. but its kasumi servent (and though she is not mentioned as such in this film) also her half-sister, Anaye. she tells Kasumi that she will kill her to take her throne. as she runs downs the steps disrobes her kimono for more wear and activates a concealed hang-glider.
THAT!
MAKES!
NO!
SENSE!
She came down the steps and flew away couldn't she have stay at the top used it?
but no its about to get much stupid as (and i'm not kidding here) a flying remote contol shurken with an email flies into the glider.
imagine if you got that in eye and if every piece of post was like that?
oh here's the po-AAAARGH MY EYE!-I got it out -AAAARGH ITS A GAS BILL!
we now cut to the South China Seas and what do we see first?
A pair of tits in an Old Glory bikini!
wow! Nice to see what takes precident in the DOA universe.
Class.
This pair are surgically attached to Tina Armstrong (played by Jamie Pressly), A women Wrestler who wants to be a legitimate fighter. she does this by beating up some pirates. and how does she shows off her wrestling prowless?
With Punches,Kicks And Slaps!
Huh.
Must go to the same wrestling school as Cody Rhodes!
And now a third backstory in hong kong and what is the first thing we see?
a woman in a shower.
Imagine the script to this film! the writers must be 12 at least!
The woman is called Christy, who is played by Aussie pop-singer Holly Valance the carector is an english jewel thief.
Wait..wait.. an englidh carector in a fighting-game francise is played by an australian pap-star?....Now where have i heard that before?
(street fighter the movie video cover flashes on eamonns screen as the theme from the omen plays out)
NOOOOOOOO!!!
(12 hours of crying in a fetal position later)
in fine(sheds tear) im okay.
in fact valance is not a good enough actresses to pull any other accent than her own. okay back to the scene.
as mentioned, Christy is a thief who is a double crossed by her boyfriend, max. as the cops try to arrest her, in a display of fighting and putting on underwear(talk about multitasking!) escapes on maxs motorcycle and she too gets an email Shuriken of doom!
The tournament is set on the private Doa Island, where we met the rest of the cast.
Zack our token black Guy, who wants to hit all the white girls.
"I'm a Sterotype!"
(wears leprecaun hat and drinks whiskey)
Bass, Tinas father(Played by Kevin Nash)
Lets talk about Nash a bit a guy in TNA says al the time that hes all about the money. i wonder how much they payed him to to be in this craptacular?
Helena Douglas, Daughter of DOA founder, fame Douglas
(Perfect strangers Plays in the background)
CUT MY FUCKING MUSIC!"
No,not Shane Douglas, fame Douglas, who by plot convience died in the last tournament
and the new director of DOA. Dr Victor Donavan, who was entered the other carectors in the game series as his bodyguards.
i should point out that in the game continuity, only leon and bayman are evil wait did i say that Donavan is evil? you werent suppossed to know that yet!
and now its time for a physical exam.
could this be a chances to see our heroines boobies?
The answer, is yes.
The fighters are injectec with nanobots that will take readings on the carctors. Dovavans assisant, waterby has a crush on Helana, and he is not the only one interested in her as Max who tricked Donavan to compete is here to steal donavans fortune. he tells christy of a code tattooed on helenas butt-crack and that its a pin number of some-sort!
get used to this as its the secondary carectors are more interesting than our heroines.
Montage time as all the carectors with 5 seconds more screen time qualify.
Donavan tells kasumi that her next opponent is Leon, who killed her brother
and who is playing leon?
WHO IS THIS BADASS MOTHERFUCKER?
(sigh)
the platinum blonde guy from ANTM!
Yeah he is more muscular than what i've seen on tv, but it doesn't change the fact the fact that it's Mister Fucking Jay
so Leon has no lines save for "Die!"
but if wasnt in carector he'd probably say this.
"oooh i'm scratch your eyes out!"
or
"I'll harm you girlfriend!"
But not only does she have to fight Mr Ambigous, but Anaye also.
Kasumi beats the FUCK! out of mister Jay, but not before concluding that leon could not have killed her brother
"Y'think?"
Kasumi fight with Ostergen Man has complety destroyed Christies bedroom, so she shares tinas bed as bass comes in to fight his daughter
i smell hijinks!
Nash is clearly the funniest guy in this guy in this film chewing the scencery at every turn!
back in the lab Waterby is jealous of max getting close to Helena. so he makes a match between max and bayman
Max kicks his shoes off into the Russian's crotch and stumbles into furniture and max wins his"match"
it was bad but at least he did'nt do a roll-up.
BAN THE ROLL-UP!
The next day tina bets her father in short match, why is it so short?
To make time for boobies! as our heroines play volleyball in bikinis!
Yeah, who needs that kidstuff called storyline or carector development?
WE GOTZ BOOBIEZ!!1!1
Mercifully Anaye shurikens the volleyball and we get what we pay for, a fight scene as it turns into Crouching Tiger, Hidden Rip-off.
hey i'm not complaining since we are an hour in and we had 25 minutes of fight scenes.
now its comic relief time as waterby tries to talk to Helena with High-lar-ee-us results.
Meanwhile tina and zack are the next opponents, Zack being the stereotype that he is gets upset that Tina destroys his music equipment.
Yes, dont get angry that you may die in a semi legal tournament be angry that equipment to your side job gets destroyed!
so it seems that Zacks Muai Thai is no match for tinas punches,kicks,and slaps.
now cut away again as helena and christy are in bikinis and are told to fight!
Just look at this
(just two women fighting in bikinis in the rain,
(getting more excitable as few dirty macs appear in the room)
the rain water clinging to their clothes, 2 women touching one another, getting wet sand over them, getting all dirty. BITING AND HISSING AND SCREAMING LIKE CATS, GIVING IN TO THEIR ANIMALS INSTINTS UNTIL ONE COMES OUT VICTORIOUS!
(Hollering and cat-calling ensures)
wait wait wait!
(Macs leave disapointted)
During fight,Christy see helena has a tatoo of buddhas head which tell the two thiefs that the vault is in the statue on the island. she them kicks Helenas ass.
Upset that Helena loss Waterby goes to console Helena but tells her everything about Donavan evil plan,
Which is esssentally use waterbys nanobots to download the fighting styles of Hayabusa,Tina,Christrie and Kasumi.
Donavan sends his guards to kill Waterby and helena where she beats everyone in a nice Katana fight where waterbys only contribution is performing a Linkara Punch!
I AM A MAY'UN!
*PUNCH*
Meanwhile donavan unleashes his plan.
Sunglasses that transfers the data of our fighters.
Kasumis brother is alive! And donavans first opponent. the glasses not only downloads moves but predicts them.
heres an idea,Dumbasses!
TAKE HIS GLASSES OFF!
So Donavan's plan is revealedhe is selling this technology to the worlds terrorist organisations.
AAAARGH! A SCENE WITHOUT BOOBIES! TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!
Waterby also tells Helena that Donavan Killed her Father.
time to wrap this up.
Our heroes kill donavan, the vault blows up with the money inside(Making christy's back story pointless) and Our Heriones return to Kasumis kingdom to retake the throne.
but not before Helena discards her carector development and turns back into a boy-crazy airhead
THIS FILM SUCKS!
The Main carectors are un-likable,It takes ages to get to the climax with that you sit through pointless boob obsessed fan service.
BUT ITS NOT OVER YET! AS THERE ARE 2 MORE STOPS ON THIS TRAIN JOURNEY OF SHIITY CELLULOID! PART 2 AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE AS JOE-JACK REVIEWS CHARLIES ANGELS 1!
For part 3 xwauniverse.com-off topic forum)
I love computer Games.
Sonic,Mario,Final fantasy, Streets of rage,Golden axe
these Aren't parts of my childhood, These ARE chilshood as far as i'm concerned.
But there is one Genre of Game that i enjoy
FIGHTERS
Street fighter,Mortal Kombat, Tekken Hell even Bloody Roar I love fighters. i have played the first game of every one and the subject matter of todays film and i didnt like it.
The Complicated jerky controls, lack of a story mode and bland carectors turned me off the game. it was only popular because of the ridicolusly large chested female carectors. not surprisly a spin-off of a volleyball game that was exclusive to x-box single handedly boosted the consoles sales.
so now i'm reviewing the movie and loh and behold its a perfect transition into film, with sub-standard story and bland one dimensional carectors as well as hundreds of soft-core bikini shots rather than focusing on being a fighting film.
So lets review this as we pull out on our 3 tickets to hell.
The film starts in a hidden temple in Japan. Where the Ninja princess Kasumi (Played by that hot asian chick in Fast Car GO VROOM!-i mean 2 fast 2 Furious) is told that her brother Hetachi has died. Unconvinced, she sets off to the tournament that he was last seen. Her Guard, Hayabusa, (who for the record never once wears the trademark mask, by the way) warns her that if she leaves the palace, she will be a shinobi, and the guards will kill her. as kasumi walks down the palace steps. the guards are reluntant to kill there only ruler. but its kasumi servent (and though she is not mentioned as such in this film) also her half-sister, Anaye. she tells Kasumi that she will kill her to take her throne. as she runs downs the steps disrobes her kimono for more wear and activates a concealed hang-glider.
THAT!
MAKES!
NO!
SENSE!
She came down the steps and flew away couldn't she have stay at the top used it?
but no its about to get much stupid as (and i'm not kidding here) a flying remote contol shurken with an email flies into the glider.
imagine if you got that in eye and if every piece of post was like that?
oh here's the po-AAAARGH MY EYE!-I got it out -AAAARGH ITS A GAS BILL!
we now cut to the South China Seas and what do we see first?
A pair of tits in an Old Glory bikini!
wow! Nice to see what takes precident in the DOA universe.
Class.
This pair are surgically attached to Tina Armstrong (played by Jamie Pressly), A women Wrestler who wants to be a legitimate fighter. she does this by beating up some pirates. and how does she shows off her wrestling prowless?
With Punches,Kicks And Slaps!
Huh.
Must go to the same wrestling school as Cody Rhodes!
And now a third backstory in hong kong and what is the first thing we see?
a woman in a shower.
Imagine the script to this film! the writers must be 12 at least!
The woman is called Christy, who is played by Aussie pop-singer Holly Valance the carector is an english jewel thief.
Wait..wait.. an englidh carector in a fighting-game francise is played by an australian pap-star?....Now where have i heard that before?
(street fighter the movie video cover flashes on eamonns screen as the theme from the omen plays out)
NOOOOOOOO!!!
(12 hours of crying in a fetal position later)
in fine(sheds tear) im okay.
in fact valance is not a good enough actresses to pull any other accent than her own. okay back to the scene.
as mentioned, Christy is a thief who is a double crossed by her boyfriend, max. as the cops try to arrest her, in a display of fighting and putting on underwear(talk about multitasking!) escapes on maxs motorcycle and she too gets an email Shuriken of doom!
The tournament is set on the private Doa Island, where we met the rest of the cast.
Zack our token black Guy, who wants to hit all the white girls.
"I'm a Sterotype!"
(wears leprecaun hat and drinks whiskey)
Bass, Tinas father(Played by Kevin Nash)
Lets talk about Nash a bit a guy in TNA says al the time that hes all about the money. i wonder how much they payed him to to be in this craptacular?
Helena Douglas, Daughter of DOA founder, fame Douglas
(Perfect strangers Plays in the background)
CUT MY FUCKING MUSIC!"
No,not Shane Douglas, fame Douglas, who by plot convience died in the last tournament
and the new director of DOA. Dr Victor Donavan, who was entered the other carectors in the game series as his bodyguards.
i should point out that in the game continuity, only leon and bayman are evil wait did i say that Donavan is evil? you werent suppossed to know that yet!
and now its time for a physical exam.
could this be a chances to see our heroines boobies?
The answer, is yes.
The fighters are injectec with nanobots that will take readings on the carctors. Dovavans assisant, waterby has a crush on Helana, and he is not the only one interested in her as Max who tricked Donavan to compete is here to steal donavans fortune. he tells christy of a code tattooed on helenas butt-crack and that its a pin number of some-sort!
get used to this as its the secondary carectors are more interesting than our heroines.
Montage time as all the carectors with 5 seconds more screen time qualify.
Donavan tells kasumi that her next opponent is Leon, who killed her brother
and who is playing leon?
WHO IS THIS BADASS MOTHERFUCKER?
(sigh)
the platinum blonde guy from ANTM!
Yeah he is more muscular than what i've seen on tv, but it doesn't change the fact the fact that it's Mister Fucking Jay
so Leon has no lines save for "Die!"
but if wasnt in carector he'd probably say this.
"oooh i'm scratch your eyes out!"
or
"I'll harm you girlfriend!"
But not only does she have to fight Mr Ambigous, but Anaye also.
Kasumi beats the FUCK! out of mister Jay, but not before concluding that leon could not have killed her brother
"Y'think?"
Kasumi fight with Ostergen Man has complety destroyed Christies bedroom, so she shares tinas bed as bass comes in to fight his daughter
i smell hijinks!
Nash is clearly the funniest guy in this guy in this film chewing the scencery at every turn!
back in the lab Waterby is jealous of max getting close to Helena. so he makes a match between max and bayman
Max kicks his shoes off into the Russian's crotch and stumbles into furniture and max wins his"match"
it was bad but at least he did'nt do a roll-up.
BAN THE ROLL-UP!
The next day tina bets her father in short match, why is it so short?
To make time for boobies! as our heroines play volleyball in bikinis!
Yeah, who needs that kidstuff called storyline or carector development?
WE GOTZ BOOBIEZ!!1!1
Mercifully Anaye shurikens the volleyball and we get what we pay for, a fight scene as it turns into Crouching Tiger, Hidden Rip-off.
hey i'm not complaining since we are an hour in and we had 25 minutes of fight scenes.
now its comic relief time as waterby tries to talk to Helena with High-lar-ee-us results.
Meanwhile tina and zack are the next opponents, Zack being the stereotype that he is gets upset that Tina destroys his music equipment.
Yes, dont get angry that you may die in a semi legal tournament be angry that equipment to your side job gets destroyed!
so it seems that Zacks Muai Thai is no match for tinas punches,kicks,and slaps.
now cut away again as helena and christy are in bikinis and are told to fight!
Just look at this
(just two women fighting in bikinis in the rain,
(getting more excitable as few dirty macs appear in the room)
the rain water clinging to their clothes, 2 women touching one another, getting wet sand over them, getting all dirty. BITING AND HISSING AND SCREAMING LIKE CATS, GIVING IN TO THEIR ANIMALS INSTINTS UNTIL ONE COMES OUT VICTORIOUS!
(Hollering and cat-calling ensures)
wait wait wait!
(Macs leave disapointted)
During fight,Christy see helena has a tatoo of buddhas head which tell the two thiefs that the vault is in the statue on the island. she them kicks Helenas ass.
Upset that Helena loss Waterby goes to console Helena but tells her everything about Donavan evil plan,
Which is esssentally use waterbys nanobots to download the fighting styles of Hayabusa,Tina,Christrie and Kasumi.
Donavan sends his guards to kill Waterby and helena where she beats everyone in a nice Katana fight where waterbys only contribution is performing a Linkara Punch!
I AM A MAY'UN!
*PUNCH*
Meanwhile donavan unleashes his plan.
Sunglasses that transfers the data of our fighters.
Kasumis brother is alive! And donavans first opponent. the glasses not only downloads moves but predicts them.
heres an idea,Dumbasses!
TAKE HIS GLASSES OFF!
So Donavan's plan is revealedhe is selling this technology to the worlds terrorist organisations.
AAAARGH! A SCENE WITHOUT BOOBIES! TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!
Waterby also tells Helena that Donavan Killed her Father.
time to wrap this up.
Our heroes kill donavan, the vault blows up with the money inside(Making christy's back story pointless) and Our Heriones return to Kasumis kingdom to retake the throne.
but not before Helena discards her carector development and turns back into a boy-crazy airhead
THIS FILM SUCKS!
The Main carectors are un-likable,It takes ages to get to the climax with that you sit through pointless boob obsessed fan service.
BUT ITS NOT OVER YET! AS THERE ARE 2 MORE STOPS ON THIS TRAIN JOURNEY OF SHIITY CELLULOID! PART 2 AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE AS JOE-JACK REVIEWS CHARLIES ANGELS 1!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Summer schedule
all events likely to change
ALL SUMMER LONG-taste-testing the new world cup walkers
13th of may-Dead or Alive
14th of may-Charlies angels 1
15th of may-Charlies angels 2
ALL SUMMER LONG-taste-testing the new world cup walkers
13th of may-Dead or Alive
14th of may-Charlies angels 1
15th of may-Charlies angels 2
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