Well it was either this, or Payback. I've said before that doing 2 ppvs that are days between each other is an awful strain on my health. Plus this one was aired for free!
All matches was contain cruiser-weight wrestlers, and all but the knockouts match and the Aries/Hardy "dream Match" where qualifiers to the Main Event-the Ultimate X Match.
1st Qualifier was the Man who Would Be King Sonjay Dutt, A man who must be sick of hearing the commentary team remind the world he has being here since day one and never 1 the big one-here he fought against the half-hearted and Half-assed Tigre Uno. We don't know who we will get-the dazzling Aerialist or the sloppy armdrag guy. Guess who we got! Sonjay was acting a little off-kilter the whole match, and it cost him, Tigre Uno qualifies!
Second Qualifier and we all know we love to hear Josh Matthews and Jeremy Borash talk about comics, but there was also a match going on with 2 unsigned wrestlers guys. Pepper "the Body" Parks-a gym rat gimmick versus Jay Rios-who used to dress like a hairdresser and recently was repackaged as a luchadore-making him reverse Callisto!, put on a show, in a losing effort against Kenny King, No thanks to the commentary!
After making the time by showing a completly unnecessary, match from last years Slammerversary in it's entirety-It was time for qualifier 3 JOCK STRAP VS FAT TERMINATOR! "Fat Terminator" being John "MR 450" Urunash, a guy with a dragonball z scanner on his head during his ring walk, Seemingly Jock-Strap Face power level was "OVER 9000!" And Manik Qualifies!
third match was a mess! between crazy Steve honking his horn and Josh Matthews taking about his lunch, my head was not into calling this match. Crazy Steve won this match that was barely called. LESS THAN AVERAGE MUTA AND Johnathan Cruz (Yeah, Me Neither!) ALSO RAN!
Next was Mockstar Dud vs Dalton Castle, who with his robes, round face, pencil moustache, brunette mullet and girls dressed as Egyptian Priestesses, looked more like Jack Black dressed as a Vegas Magician, What followed was a comedy match where Spud questioned Dalton's Sexuality because of the way he dressed! It wore thin quickly and Dalton jobbed to Spud!
Next was Mizake versus DJ ZIMA ION. We now know that Zima is so low on the food chain after babysitting Jesse GlassJawz, that he can only get wins on unsigned Wrestlers, which he did! But a funny thing happened in this match someone throw a Rainbow Dash My Little Pony into the ring and Zima picked up infront of the camera, some GENIUS Had styled the rainbow hair of the doll to look like Zima's Mohawk! GET USE TO THE CROWD THROWING THINGS DIXIE! THEY WILL IN A MONTH'S TIME AFTER ETHAN BECOMES YOUR CHAMPION!
Taryn won the ladder match for the women title contract-despite being champion now and at time of filming, and contractually obligated to a rematch clause upon losing said title!
DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH, DID YA DIXIE?
Final qualifier was The Wolves facing each other in the match where Eddie Edwards broke his foot (it has since healed) Davey Richards put his partner out of his misery with the Creeping Death and is last to qualifier
Austin Aries defeated Matt Hardy in a PPV Quality match!
Main event and Spud won the X-Division title shot- that'll come in handy as of now he lost the title and the rematch, Wait...did they actually in a PRERECORED ONE NIGHT ONLY show that tna treats as throwaway...PLANTED FORESHADOWING?
ok, that's it! Join me on my tumblr on Monday as Second Hand Smoke discusses all the fall out from Payback.
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