Monday, September 28, 2020

Opinion Piece: Retribution: Doomed To Failure?

 2020 Has being a rough year!

Coronavirus, and the panic, then restrictions, then the stupidity of complacency by Zoomers and Boomers Alike, Racial Tension in America, sparked by Police Murders and Murders by Police, is at an all-time low!

But you can always turn to the world of wrestling to escape the woes of the real world, right?

RIGHT?

That was until Retribution came along, Vince's latest "Them from Over There!" has got to be the most Offensive, Most Thinly Veiled Dump-Supporter World View Since Phillip "I Hate the Catholic Church Pullman" made the Villains in his Dark Materials Cloak-wearing Child-stealers!

To Be frank, Retribution is WWE's  ANTIFA Gimmick, where wwe's Asian, Latin, African-American, Foreign or at least Anyone with an Ethnic last name is being shoved into!...In a year of Civil Unrest, Bullbaiting the Koreans, The Wall, and the Dumbass in chief saying Corona was a Biological weapon!

In their Debut, which thank god was edited out of British Broadcast Out of Bad taste, Laid on the Gimmick too Thick! Showing Masked Men and Women all in Black throwing Molotov Cocktails at a Generator!

After That for weeks on end, the Arena had being ambushed by Masked Individuals with Pipes, Stanley Knifes and Pipes,and everyone ran away, not because they were afraid of the weapons, but because without them,  the mostly 5 foot nothing assailants would have being Curb Stomped!

For Weeks Noone was Safe, Main event matches, title Matches, No-one was safe from being attacked by the Masked Children! and it made wwe look stupid, how can they not notice 20 5 foot people in a group?

Where they arriving into the Arena on each other shoulders, wearing a giant trenchcoat?

Then Last week we were introduced to 5 members who did a promo,well 2 did a promo, and despite their voices Distorted it was clearly Mia Yim and Dominic Djackovic 



So Dominic Djackovic is in this Clown Show? Over Six Foot, Great Athlete, Good Worker, Decent on the Mic He Could be the Break Out Star! EXCEPT~....




As we say in Ireland, LOOK AT THE STATE OF YER MAN!

They shaved in bald and put him in a Bane Mask, that would have being enough, but no! They went and drew two blood red lines from his eyes (I THINK SHAVING OFF HIS EYEBROW FOR EFFECT!) All the way to the back of his skull, looking like he went down on a woman on her period!

This photo was taking from Retribution's Offical debut last week, the 5 Generals, as we learned from Michael Cole, these are NOT THE LEADERS! But 5 Members who  have served Retribution so well they have being granted identities and unique Masks.

The Mic was first handed to the Now Former Mia Yim, who's new name is yet to be revealed, and I couldn't pay attention to Mia's promo, as her mask kept coming off-as if wwe has two Blue haired Asians in their employ, also, Mia is Masked, but she is also Wearing Silver Eye Make-up, That Shimmered under the lights. She is hiding her identity....But she is drawing attention to her face! IT'S COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE!

But it doesn't stop there, Dijack, now T-BAR, takes the mic and cuts a promo, a Promo that will go down next to Steiner Math and "MOMENT OF THE MOMENT, STARTING NOW!" As the worst Promo of the 21 century!

"You (THE SUPERSTARS!) HAVE SOLD OUT! You've become Part of a Corrupt Machine! YOU COLLECT YOU PAYCHECKS.....LIKE WHORES!"

And I must point out as Retribution made their way to the ring, Michael Cole told us that Retribution or least, the 5 Generals have being signed to Contacts, So if the Superstars are Whores for the money, then what are you?

So who is also in Retribution? (That we know of?)

Mace is Dio Madden, Former Raw Commentator , who was taking out by Brock Lesner Last Year, and recently resurfaced on The Equally Stupid Raw Underground. Now wearing a Robotic Mask and combined with his Dreads, looks like a Poundshop Cyrax!

Mercedes Martinez, who has being an Internet Daring for years, So Naturally you can't be a big Star outside the Biggest Company in the World, You have to be treated like a nobody and be saddled with Character Assasination. Her New Name is not confirmed, but i heard rumours it's Mercy or Chainsaw!

And Finally in the Non-descript Hockey Mask, is former NXT Catering Monkey and Australian Job-guy, Shane Thorne, Now called SLAPNUTS! I Mean Slap-Jack, who never really had a chance, since he has 2 strikes against Vince, if Vince wasn't senile enough to forget names "HE'S TOO SHORT, PAL" and "HE'S TOO FOREIGN,PAL!"

So last weeks Shambles Ended with a 6 Man tag between the 2 Masked Men and the 1 Named Masked Child, against the better written Heel Team Of the Hurt Business, Retribution in their first big money match, collecting their Paychecks, LIKE WHORES!....And it's a DQ LOSS....MADE BY THEM! So they can call up the west of the Lollipop Guild to have an argy-bargy to close the show!

It would come to no surprise that WWE higher-ups have no faith in this offensive Gimmick and they even could contain their laughter when Vince asked them what did they think?

Unfortunately, we are stuck with them, Hopefully they are soundly defeeated by Survivor series and RE-REPACKAGED, IS THAT A WORD? To there Former selves!

Well That's it!

How was my First Opinion Piece? There will be more between Pay-Per views But not as Many since i have film reviews on BBO. Speaking of, Join me on Thursday the 1st of October for the Halloween Special. Later this month I will have the last payperview of the year from me, HELL IN A CELL! AND IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, I'M THERE @RealEnli.

PEACE!

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