****DISCLAIMER****
THIS POST HAS MENTION OF CHRIS BENIOT, HOWEVER ALL OPINION IS OF BENIOT THE WRESTLER, AND NOT OF THE MAN HE WAS, OR BECAME.
We open with the promo of Edge's return. He was out for a whole year with a separated shoulder. and at the time, Edge had his own Mania Streak going for him five wins until he challenged the Undertaker's streak. Then we wasted time with Jessie Ventura interviewing Donald trump, It was like matter meeting antimatter, as the charismatic Ventura interviewed a limp squid-and the guy who was wearing it on his head!
Speaking of Hair...
HAIR VS HAIR MATCH FOR THE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP.
VICTORIA (C) VS Molly Holly
Usually there is a sense of sadness when a hair versus hair match is announced, Many will remember Larry Zybyso's Hair match was due to cancer and would lose it anyway in chemo. This was not the case. Nora Greenwald (molly) said that she wanted to do something very shocking at Wrestlemania, that would be a talking point. Anyway to the Match itself. Power and Elbow tie-up to start-arm rigger by Tara whose giving 9 inches in size. After a brawl, Molly apply a cravat. After bringing up that shameful "Molly has a fat arse" storyline that dogged since 2002, The DVD commentary devolves into a convo about what Smalls King and J.R prefer. Luckily, I am not The DVD!, and i'll do the play-by-play. By now Holly has put a knee on Tara's Back for extra leverage, but Victoria/Tara powers out. clothesline followed by a powerslam. Rope rein by the challenger, sends the champ flying. But she regains her composure and hits a superplex on the top-rope into a powerbomb, Molly tries to copy the widow's peak, Victoria's finish but rolls up for yet another anti-climatic finish.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: TARA
Victoria is attacked by Molly but is still shaved bald during the entrances of this next match.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
EDDIE GUERRERRO (C) VS KURT ANGLE
After 2 months of playing peacekeeper between Eddie and Jobbo, a completely botched Heel-Turn happened as Angle protested against the drink-loving ex-drug addict champion. (IS ANGLE THE BLACK POT OR THE KETTLE?)
Hammerlock to start off, into the facelock by Angle. Eddie counters Angle's opening gambit, with an armdrag and a low headlock. But Angle, a master of his domain counters into a Top Wristlock. Eddie was no slouch himself, and counters into the hammerlock. A trio of shoulderblock by "Latino Heat.", followed by a Gater Roll that Luke Harper would be proud of. Angle ups his game with a Standing Coke that Samuel "The Creepy Bastard" Shaw would be proud of! Three Amigos by Eddie, Chicken wing, rake of the eyes with the ref distracted. followed by, -say it with me now- BAAAAACCCK BODYDROP! Right back into a chicken wing. Running knee but angle is back in control with the abdominal stretch and Gorilla, bless his soul, would love this as he done it "right" he hooked the leg!
German suplex. and then eddy was dropkicked out of the ring. Back in and a Backbreaker snapmare and Eddy looks dazed. Grapevine gets 2. Eddy is in pain he loosens his boot to check for injury. Bearhug when the ref gives the go ahead. charged into the corner and Angle is Stomping a mudhole. Clothesline, Belly to back suplex by a revived Eddie. Angle with a clothesline of his own. Armdrag by Eddie after an attempt of the Angle Slam. Headscissors by the champ. Three Amigos, Ankle lock from nowhere until Eddies loosened boot comes off! Distracted, Eddie rolls up Angle for another finisher-less, anti-climatic win.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: EDDIE
Another strange ending, but whatever it fitted his lie, cheat and steal gimmick.
THE STREAK!
UNDERTAKER VS KANE
This was the first time Undertaker returned using his Deadman Gimmick, With big entrance, The Late Paul Bearer, the Druids, Everything Which is great and all, even if one druid holding his torch nearly burned down the garden! This was also the year that the Streak was finally giving a prominent spot at Mania. As 11 wins was nothing to sneeze at. After making the mistake of closing his eyes (Kane kept screaming "YOU'RE NOT REAL!") Taker dealt out some heavy Jabs.
Kane escapes after a whip. Huge Brawl by the Super-Heavyweights, followed by 'Taker's Tried-And-Tested Legdrop on the Apron. Mounted Punches, as the Big Red Immobile Slab of Meat, hasn't gotten out of the blocks yet. Sidewalk slam and a clothesline, Kane finally with offence only if it's trading punches. Old skool countered into the chokeslam, but taker sits up and the crowd goes mental! Flying Clothesline, Chokeslam, Tombstone, Mark Henry, that's what HE DOES! But that's a story for next year!
WINNER UNDERTAKER 12-0
WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
TRIPLE HGH VS CHRIS BENOIT VS SHAWN MICHAELS
Both faces argue on who gets the first shot on Triple H, after dispatching Michaels, Benoit hits a Northern Lights suplex, but Trips and his unnatural physique, roids up with a Clothesline-uh! Knife edge chops by Michaels who's back in. back body drop sends Hunt-uh out of the corn-uh!, but fights back with a High Knee-uh Moonsault by Michaels on the outside to the other contestants. Back in and it's Benoit and trips to return first. No quarter asked, HHH hits his Face-bust-uh. No quarter given, Benoit caught the future coo into a hat-trick of Germans. Sweet chin music countered into DDT-UH, turning his attention back to Benoit, his Pedigree is countered into the Crippler Crossface, Michaels interferes and he gets the Hat-trick too! Swandive headbutt gets 2. Michaels kips up and hits his 5 moves of doom but Benoit interferes. Rope rein opens up Michaels. Crossface on Michaels but HHH interferes. Double suplex through the Spanish table, Pedigree, but Benoit Interferes, Michaels thrown out again. Sharpshooter bu Benoit until the crossface and Finally...
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:BENOIT
This was a great match however. the events of the fateful summer in 2007 would change the sport forever, and the matches of Chris Benoit were treated as taboo and now watched not with love but Morbid curiosity and watched by criminologists.
I know this is a somber way to end this, but WrestleMania 20 had a very weak undercard that didn't sipport the main events. Though the matches were good, the non-finish endings to many confused me.
Join me in a weeks time when the final card is announced for wrestlemania XXX.
Follow me at twitter @saveusPOE or search for TGWTGEAMONN
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
WRESTLEMANIA XX: X YEARS LATER Part 1
You'll probably remember, (and if you don't you can always look it up.) That 3 years ago I reviewed WM17, The high-grossing wrestlemania of the last decade, with tons of great matches. 10 years later, we had WM 27, possibly the WORST 'mania of this decade, thanks in part to burying the Corre, Michael Troll, Snooki and the only draw finish to a championship match at 'mania, making a GOBSHITE FROM MTV! The worst possible choice ever for a champion.
This year is also a contrast, So far the matches for next months 'Mania are exciting and unbelievable. Will Bryan shatter Hunt-uh's Glass ceiling? Will Golden Boy Cena Follow the Buzzards? Who will win the Andre? Will the Greatest Streak ever stand? And will we ever have a mania with all the titles on the line? Or in Wembley?
10 years ago, the matches supporting the 3-way main event and Wwe championship were...underwhelming.
In the Legendary Madison Square Garden, this is where it all begins...Again.
U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs Big Shite(c)
This may shock all you little kiddies, but your Hero Cena, Use to use bad words and cheat. They should show some old cena raps to kids, that'll be a FineBros video I'd watch! plus I forgot that he was trying to make Dahm Straight the new Hell Yeah, I'm glad it never caught on.
Cena starts off with Punches to Slow's protruding gut. Crossbody by Johnny-boy was caught, and his confidence shaken, never used that move again! In the corner Big show with the Frying pan chop, suplex on the writhing Cena, followed with the big boot. Standing Leg drop and the sleeper. Clothesline by Cena. but that shit is Stopped cold with the cobra clutch, But Cena Hulks-up, F.U gets 2. and after a distraction, Cena uses brass knux. He Cheated? THAT'S NOT PG!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: CENA
I Wonder what ever happened to him(?)
Backstage Jonathan "I Only Talked About Soft-Boy Rugby On My WWE Magazine Column, So I Fucked Off To Host NFL On ESPN" Coachman meets Bischoff to find the Undertaker, Bring him to Raw Brand. Also to investigate the LOUD NOISES! Backstage.
Also backstage: Randy Orton, Flanked by Ric Flair and Shitista on the Stairwell where Orton attacked Foley in the summer of 2003, to start off the feud which ends tonight.
FATAL 4-WAY FOR THE WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
LA RESISTANCE 2.0 VS CADE/JINDRAK VS THE DUDLEYZ VS BOOKER/RVD(C)
Y'know what? I forgot that Mark Jindrak existed! And he can put that on his resume forever I was at a wrestlemania. Then the champs come out to a terrible mash-up of One of a kind and that terrible version of can you kick from that horrible wwe sings! album. As the for the Match it's beat on cade and Jindrak until Jindrak takes all the finishers and Jindrak gets beaten in his wm debut.
AND YET NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST!
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: RVD AND BOOKER.
Backstage, and Coach finds the source of the LOUD NOISES! Mean Gene, Bobby the Brain, Moolah and Mae Young having old people sex! THANKS JAMMITIN!
Next Christian and Chris Jericho had great seperate matches, but when they met, this...WAS NOT 1 OF THEM! And to make a bad match worse, it was over a women...who could handle herself without a man...WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THIS?
CHRIS JERICHO VS CHRISTAN
All this talk of terrible ring music reminds me that Christian had that Dirge before Waterproof Blonde came along. Jericho makes his entrance and after a tentative start, a collar and elbow tie-up ends in the corner, when Jericho Bitchslaps him. Christian returns the favour with reverse elbow, followed by a back suplex, followed by clothesline. This ends to the outside of the ring, where Captain Charisma launches at Y2J. Back in and it's all Christian. Kitchen sink into a choke hold. But Jericho,Born in this state of New York, get the support of the people and gets up and lauches an Enzirgiri into a backslide that get only 2. Bulldog that leading to the trusty Loinsault bit it only gets knees. Christian gets up and uses the reverse Tornado DDT that only gets two. Then Trish comes out and distracts Jericho enough for Christian to win with...A roll-up!
WINNER: CHRISTAIN:
BAN THE ROLL-UP!
Backstage: Mick Foley was interviewed by Garcia, until the rock came in. I could tell you but I'd rather Show you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbRwbIU-XMs
3-ON-2 HANDICAP MATCH
EVOLUTION(RANDY ORTON, SHITISTA & RIC FLAIR) VS THE ROCK & MICK FOLEY
After a huge brawl, Foley and Bootista start out. Both men tag out and Rock and Flair, enter the fray, Rocky with a headlock takeover on the Nature Boy, copies the Strut, insulted, Naitch reacts with his trademark Flair Chops. Back body drop by the rock and the Cactus Elbow by Foley, Rock back in, but a low blow by flair the dirtiest player in the game. I think the rock should change his name after this. Shitista in and slams the Rock. Flair back in with chops on the Rock, double clothesline spot, double tag. Foley and Batisteroids are legal, as Foley is now tearing a 'tista a new ass! Batista counters with Bastista move #1/3-Clothesline. Orton whips Foley into steel steps. Flair in and tells the rock who tries to tag in "I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER! (the statement was edited out of some dvds despite the 15 rating) Orton is now officially legal in this match, with a few shots on Foley. finally the rock comes in an clears house but Shitista hits Batista Move #2/3-Spinebuster, and then Flair mocks the peoples elbow. But the rock kips up and spinebusts Flair. People's elbow, but Rock turns into Boretista and Batista Move 3/3-SHITISTA BOMB! With this PP spend Batista is switched out for Orton who counters Foley's Attempt at Mr. Socko into an rko
WINNERS: EVOLUTION
Now this is the Randy orton I remember and want to see again, Not the mahogany-coloured, lazy Pragmatic Brat that we have now!
HALLOF FAME CLASS OF 04
Bobby Heenan-Greatest Manager and colour commentator that ever lived.
Tito Santana-former I.C and tag champ
The Family of Big John Studd-Winner of the first 30 man Royal Rumble
Harly Race-former 7 time world's champion
Pete Rose-Disgraced Baseball Player (Celebrity Wing)
Don Murocco-Former I.C champion
Greg Valentine-Former U.S, I.C and tag champion
the family OF junkyard dog-Very popular jobber
Billy Graham-Former World's Champion
Sgt. Slaughter-Former WWE Champion
and Jesse the Body Ventura-Renaissance Man.
LINGERIE TAG MATCH....WAS SHIT!
WINNERS (NOT THAT YOU CARE!): SABLE AND TORRIE
Backstage: Eddie guerrero tells C***S B*****t that he won't win, but it's a ploy to fire him up.
CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN
JOBBO THE EAGLE(C) W/ JOBBO THE TURKEY VS NUNZIO VS JAMIE NOBLEVS TAJIRI VS AKIO VS SHANNON MOORE VS ULTIMO DRAGON VS BILLY KIDMAN VS OverREYted W/O FAN BACKLASH
ENTRANT 1: DRAGON VS ENTRANT 2: MOORE
Waistlock by the Japanese Legend, Arm rigger whips the Prince of punks into the ropes, Shoulder barge by Moore, who follows up with a Back suplex but misses his Halo finisher. Asai DDT By the man himself. Gets 3
ENTRANT 3: NOBLE
Kicks by The Virginian Noble, hard Backbreaker to the dragon, Neckbreaker and insult to injury, the Dragon is ended by 1 of his many moves: the Dragon Sleeper.
ENTRANT 4: FUNAKI
Crossbody, but Noble rolls through for a pin, thanks for coming, Funaki!
ENTRANT 5: NUNZIO
Sicilian Slice gets 2, and he gets counted out after a senton to the outside.
ENTRANT 6: KIDMAN
...takes out Nunzio and noble with the shooting Star, In the ring B.K Bomb on Noble, and he gets the Win.
ENTRANT 7: MYSTERIO
Akio on the outside, attacks Mysterio, Kidman went to the well too many times and when going for the B.K Bomb again, GOT HIS HEAD NEARLY CRACKED OPEN BY A MISTIMED SUNSET FLIP! The entire 3 front rows winced.
ENTRANT 8: TAJIRI
Now it's apparent why Akio attacked Rey-Rey. as both Japanese wrestlers have the 8 and 9 spots. Tarantula by the Japanese Buzzsaw, but he can't win with the illegal hold, Handspring elbow backfired into the 619! Green Mist accidently to Akio, roll-up
ENTRANT 9: Akio is unable to wrestle, Chavo faces Rey.
After a distraction by Jobbo the Turkey, Jobbo the Eagle gets a pin.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: JOBBO GUERRERO JR
And you wonder why there's no cruiserweight Division anymore!
Up next is the match that everyone remembers...For all the wrong reasons!
BROCK LESNER VS GOLDBERG
SPECIAL REFEREE: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
After making their entrances the real stars of this match, the audience start with YOU SOLD OUT! Chants to Lesner, as Brock was leaving not for UFC, but to the NFL, It didn't work out. the crowd switches to Nanana Hey-Hey-Hey Goodbye. which begs the Question: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THROW A PUNCH? A very long Power and elbow Tie-up gets a boring chant and stare down and another tediously Tie-up, makes the crowd declare that "THIS MATCH SUCKS!" Headlock by lesner, whips and neither egomaniac wanted to sell the others shoulder barges, Military press into spear by Goldberg but Lesner Dodges a second spear. Lesner tries to suplex Goldberg but he sandbags him a few times, before the actual suplex. Each man went for their finish and only got 2 and got in Austin's Face, but it was Lesner who flipped off the crowd, so he got stunned.
WINNER: GOLDBERG: After beers, Austin stuns Goldberg to cheers!
Vince MacMahon came out and thanks the fans to huge response.
4 WAY MATCH FOR WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE SELF PROCLAIMED WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM (HAAS/BENJAMIN) VS APA(CRANKYVINCE JBL/SIMMONS) VS THE BASHAMS (DOUG/DANNY) VS TOO COOL(SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & RIKISHI)(c)
Shelton smacks JBL, Big mistake!
Elbow by the only wwe champ in this match. Layfield tags in Danny, atomic drop to danny, Haas knees the Basham on the outside. Haas in, backbreaker on Danny, who tags in Scotty who suplexes haas, some dancing, leading to a punch to Benjamin who was talking smack. this smart decision leads to scotty getting the WGTT'S Leapfrog double team finisher! Haas tags Doug, double team suplex on scotty. Belly to back by Doug, after a leg lace, then scotty tags in Rikishi who cleans houses DDT Benjamin, Stinkface on Doug, Clothesline from hell from Bradshaw, until scotty takes him out of the equation, Sit-down pin for the...win? The hell?
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: TOO COOL
Invoking memories of royal rumble 2000, the champs dance for this excited MSG crowd
DVD 1 OUT AND DVD 2 IN.
JOIN ME SOON FOR PART 2 OF THIS RETROSPECTIVE.
Follow me on Twitter @saveusPOE
This year is also a contrast, So far the matches for next months 'Mania are exciting and unbelievable. Will Bryan shatter Hunt-uh's Glass ceiling? Will Golden Boy Cena Follow the Buzzards? Who will win the Andre? Will the Greatest Streak ever stand? And will we ever have a mania with all the titles on the line? Or in Wembley?
10 years ago, the matches supporting the 3-way main event and Wwe championship were...underwhelming.
In the Legendary Madison Square Garden, this is where it all begins...Again.
U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs Big Shite(c)
This may shock all you little kiddies, but your Hero Cena, Use to use bad words and cheat. They should show some old cena raps to kids, that'll be a FineBros video I'd watch! plus I forgot that he was trying to make Dahm Straight the new Hell Yeah, I'm glad it never caught on.
Cena starts off with Punches to Slow's protruding gut. Crossbody by Johnny-boy was caught, and his confidence shaken, never used that move again! In the corner Big show with the Frying pan chop, suplex on the writhing Cena, followed with the big boot. Standing Leg drop and the sleeper. Clothesline by Cena. but that shit is Stopped cold with the cobra clutch, But Cena Hulks-up, F.U gets 2. and after a distraction, Cena uses brass knux. He Cheated? THAT'S NOT PG!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: CENA
I Wonder what ever happened to him(?)
Backstage Jonathan "I Only Talked About Soft-Boy Rugby On My WWE Magazine Column, So I Fucked Off To Host NFL On ESPN" Coachman meets Bischoff to find the Undertaker, Bring him to Raw Brand. Also to investigate the LOUD NOISES! Backstage.
Also backstage: Randy Orton, Flanked by Ric Flair and Shitista on the Stairwell where Orton attacked Foley in the summer of 2003, to start off the feud which ends tonight.
FATAL 4-WAY FOR THE WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
LA RESISTANCE 2.0 VS CADE/JINDRAK VS THE DUDLEYZ VS BOOKER/RVD(C)
Y'know what? I forgot that Mark Jindrak existed! And he can put that on his resume forever I was at a wrestlemania. Then the champs come out to a terrible mash-up of One of a kind and that terrible version of can you kick from that horrible wwe sings! album. As the for the Match it's beat on cade and Jindrak until Jindrak takes all the finishers and Jindrak gets beaten in his wm debut.
AND YET NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST!
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: RVD AND BOOKER.
Backstage, and Coach finds the source of the LOUD NOISES! Mean Gene, Bobby the Brain, Moolah and Mae Young having old people sex! THANKS JAMMITIN!
Next Christian and Chris Jericho had great seperate matches, but when they met, this...WAS NOT 1 OF THEM! And to make a bad match worse, it was over a women...who could handle herself without a man...WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THIS?
CHRIS JERICHO VS CHRISTAN
All this talk of terrible ring music reminds me that Christian had that Dirge before Waterproof Blonde came along. Jericho makes his entrance and after a tentative start, a collar and elbow tie-up ends in the corner, when Jericho Bitchslaps him. Christian returns the favour with reverse elbow, followed by a back suplex, followed by clothesline. This ends to the outside of the ring, where Captain Charisma launches at Y2J. Back in and it's all Christian. Kitchen sink into a choke hold. But Jericho,Born in this state of New York, get the support of the people and gets up and lauches an Enzirgiri into a backslide that get only 2. Bulldog that leading to the trusty Loinsault bit it only gets knees. Christian gets up and uses the reverse Tornado DDT that only gets two. Then Trish comes out and distracts Jericho enough for Christian to win with...A roll-up!
WINNER: CHRISTAIN:
BAN THE ROLL-UP!
Backstage: Mick Foley was interviewed by Garcia, until the rock came in. I could tell you but I'd rather Show you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbRwbIU-XMs
3-ON-2 HANDICAP MATCH
EVOLUTION(RANDY ORTON, SHITISTA & RIC FLAIR) VS THE ROCK & MICK FOLEY
After a huge brawl, Foley and Bootista start out. Both men tag out and Rock and Flair, enter the fray, Rocky with a headlock takeover on the Nature Boy, copies the Strut, insulted, Naitch reacts with his trademark Flair Chops. Back body drop by the rock and the Cactus Elbow by Foley, Rock back in, but a low blow by flair the dirtiest player in the game. I think the rock should change his name after this. Shitista in and slams the Rock. Flair back in with chops on the Rock, double clothesline spot, double tag. Foley and Batisteroids are legal, as Foley is now tearing a 'tista a new ass! Batista counters with Bastista move #1/3-Clothesline. Orton whips Foley into steel steps. Flair in and tells the rock who tries to tag in "I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER! (the statement was edited out of some dvds despite the 15 rating) Orton is now officially legal in this match, with a few shots on Foley. finally the rock comes in an clears house but Shitista hits Batista Move #2/3-Spinebuster, and then Flair mocks the peoples elbow. But the rock kips up and spinebusts Flair. People's elbow, but Rock turns into Boretista and Batista Move 3/3-SHITISTA BOMB! With this PP spend Batista is switched out for Orton who counters Foley's Attempt at Mr. Socko into an rko
WINNERS: EVOLUTION
Now this is the Randy orton I remember and want to see again, Not the mahogany-coloured, lazy Pragmatic Brat that we have now!
HALLOF FAME CLASS OF 04
Bobby Heenan-Greatest Manager and colour commentator that ever lived.
Tito Santana-former I.C and tag champ
The Family of Big John Studd-Winner of the first 30 man Royal Rumble
Harly Race-former 7 time world's champion
Pete Rose-Disgraced Baseball Player (Celebrity Wing)
Don Murocco-Former I.C champion
Greg Valentine-Former U.S, I.C and tag champion
the family OF junkyard dog-Very popular jobber
Billy Graham-Former World's Champion
Sgt. Slaughter-Former WWE Champion
and Jesse the Body Ventura-Renaissance Man.
LINGERIE TAG MATCH....WAS SHIT!
WINNERS (NOT THAT YOU CARE!): SABLE AND TORRIE
Backstage: Eddie guerrero tells C***S B*****t that he won't win, but it's a ploy to fire him up.
CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN
JOBBO THE EAGLE(C) W/ JOBBO THE TURKEY VS NUNZIO VS JAMIE NOBLEVS TAJIRI VS AKIO VS SHANNON MOORE VS ULTIMO DRAGON VS BILLY KIDMAN VS OverREYted W/O FAN BACKLASH
ENTRANT 1: DRAGON VS ENTRANT 2: MOORE
Waistlock by the Japanese Legend, Arm rigger whips the Prince of punks into the ropes, Shoulder barge by Moore, who follows up with a Back suplex but misses his Halo finisher. Asai DDT By the man himself. Gets 3
ENTRANT 3: NOBLE
Kicks by The Virginian Noble, hard Backbreaker to the dragon, Neckbreaker and insult to injury, the Dragon is ended by 1 of his many moves: the Dragon Sleeper.
ENTRANT 4: FUNAKI
Crossbody, but Noble rolls through for a pin, thanks for coming, Funaki!
ENTRANT 5: NUNZIO
Sicilian Slice gets 2, and he gets counted out after a senton to the outside.
ENTRANT 6: KIDMAN
...takes out Nunzio and noble with the shooting Star, In the ring B.K Bomb on Noble, and he gets the Win.
ENTRANT 7: MYSTERIO
Akio on the outside, attacks Mysterio, Kidman went to the well too many times and when going for the B.K Bomb again, GOT HIS HEAD NEARLY CRACKED OPEN BY A MISTIMED SUNSET FLIP! The entire 3 front rows winced.
ENTRANT 8: TAJIRI
Now it's apparent why Akio attacked Rey-Rey. as both Japanese wrestlers have the 8 and 9 spots. Tarantula by the Japanese Buzzsaw, but he can't win with the illegal hold, Handspring elbow backfired into the 619! Green Mist accidently to Akio, roll-up
ENTRANT 9: Akio is unable to wrestle, Chavo faces Rey.
After a distraction by Jobbo the Turkey, Jobbo the Eagle gets a pin.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: JOBBO GUERRERO JR
And you wonder why there's no cruiserweight Division anymore!
Up next is the match that everyone remembers...For all the wrong reasons!
BROCK LESNER VS GOLDBERG
SPECIAL REFEREE: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
After making their entrances the real stars of this match, the audience start with YOU SOLD OUT! Chants to Lesner, as Brock was leaving not for UFC, but to the NFL, It didn't work out. the crowd switches to Nanana Hey-Hey-Hey Goodbye. which begs the Question: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THROW A PUNCH? A very long Power and elbow Tie-up gets a boring chant and stare down and another tediously Tie-up, makes the crowd declare that "THIS MATCH SUCKS!" Headlock by lesner, whips and neither egomaniac wanted to sell the others shoulder barges, Military press into spear by Goldberg but Lesner Dodges a second spear. Lesner tries to suplex Goldberg but he sandbags him a few times, before the actual suplex. Each man went for their finish and only got 2 and got in Austin's Face, but it was Lesner who flipped off the crowd, so he got stunned.
WINNER: GOLDBERG: After beers, Austin stuns Goldberg to cheers!
Vince MacMahon came out and thanks the fans to huge response.
4 WAY MATCH FOR WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE SELF PROCLAIMED WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM (HAAS/BENJAMIN) VS APA(
Shelton smacks JBL, Big mistake!
Elbow by the only wwe champ in this match. Layfield tags in Danny, atomic drop to danny, Haas knees the Basham on the outside. Haas in, backbreaker on Danny, who tags in Scotty who suplexes haas, some dancing, leading to a punch to Benjamin who was talking smack. this smart decision leads to scotty getting the WGTT'S Leapfrog double team finisher! Haas tags Doug, double team suplex on scotty. Belly to back by Doug, after a leg lace, then scotty tags in Rikishi who cleans houses DDT Benjamin, Stinkface on Doug, Clothesline from hell from Bradshaw, until scotty takes him out of the equation, Sit-down pin for the...win? The hell?
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: TOO COOL
Invoking memories of royal rumble 2000, the champs dance for this excited MSG crowd
DVD 1 OUT AND DVD 2 IN.
JOIN ME SOON FOR PART 2 OF THIS RETROSPECTIVE.
Follow me on Twitter @saveusPOE
Thursday, March 13, 2014
TNA LOCKDUMB QUICKIE: DIXIE IS QUEEN OF THE IDIOTS, SHE EARNED THAT TIGHT-ALL, Y'ALL!
Here's last night's deferred coverage of Sunday night's Lockdown, Tna's all cage ppv.
First was an x-division Tna vs Wrestle-1 6 man tag, Team TNA were Frankie Kazerian, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin. Wrestle-1's team were the new x-Champion, Sanada, the rookie Yasu, and the Legend that is The Great Muta. The crowd screamed and demanded his presence. As for the match this was an imaginative Spotfest (Especially that triple dropkick!) Sanada, the protégé of Muta, used his trademark, Mutasualt to win this high-octane opener.
The escape the cage match between Anderson and Samuel "the Creepy Bastard!" Shaw, who debuted a more sinister music than the dance -music he had (despite the fact the old music has a woman's voice saying "say that you want me" over and over, still fitting the stalker gimmick). Ken nearly won but Shaw kidnapped Christy and Ken went to save her only to Fall foul of the Catatcaca- the catacatommo- FUCK IT! I'm giving his finisher an appropriate name-Chloroform! Shaw made Anderson go to sleep with the Chloroform!
1st title match of the Night. I was always unsure what was Madison Rayne's finisher since despite her 5 title reigns, she always used roll-ups, interference or weapons to win. Apparently it's a flying Spear. Good for her.
Next was Manik versus Tigre Uno. Both men were too similar to warrant my full attention. Nice little match, though! Tigre won.
Gunner defeated James Storm. That's it!
Rich Idiot the 3rd's open challenge was a no contest as Bobby Lashley returned. Now that Choc Lesner is back, I can dust this gem of:
You Thay That your name Is Ethan Carter and The World Needth You...Well I Thay Your Ethan Carter....AND YOU'RE A BATHURD!
Despite having his ass handed to him, The man who does more that just Whistle Dixie, Shag-nus retained his title after Flabyss used "Janice" to tear a hole in the canvas and drag Joe under the ring.
Dixie "Rich Idiot" Carter is gone! at least for a few months! Despite the distraction ofROD STEWART Rockstar Spud and the application of Bully Ray as special ref, team Mvp, comprising of M.V.P. , Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards and Jeff Hardy's new Morally ambiguous persona, Willow.
So more Southern hospitality for the Carters. Y'all DONT Come back now, Y'here!
Follow me on Twitter @saveusPOE Or search for TGWTGEAMONN
First was an x-division Tna vs Wrestle-1 6 man tag, Team TNA were Frankie Kazerian, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin. Wrestle-1's team were the new x-Champion, Sanada, the rookie Yasu, and the Legend that is The Great Muta. The crowd screamed and demanded his presence. As for the match this was an imaginative Spotfest (Especially that triple dropkick!) Sanada, the protégé of Muta, used his trademark, Mutasualt to win this high-octane opener.
The escape the cage match between Anderson and Samuel "the Creepy Bastard!" Shaw, who debuted a more sinister music than the dance -music he had (despite the fact the old music has a woman's voice saying "say that you want me" over and over, still fitting the stalker gimmick). Ken nearly won but Shaw kidnapped Christy and Ken went to save her only to Fall foul of the Catatcaca- the catacatommo- FUCK IT! I'm giving his finisher an appropriate name-Chloroform! Shaw made Anderson go to sleep with the Chloroform!
1st title match of the Night. I was always unsure what was Madison Rayne's finisher since despite her 5 title reigns, she always used roll-ups, interference or weapons to win. Apparently it's a flying Spear. Good for her.
Next was Manik versus Tigre Uno. Both men were too similar to warrant my full attention. Nice little match, though! Tigre won.
Gunner defeated James Storm. That's it!
Rich Idiot the 3rd's open challenge was a no contest as Bobby Lashley returned. Now that Choc Lesner is back, I can dust this gem of:
You Thay That your name Is Ethan Carter and The World Needth You...Well I Thay Your Ethan Carter....AND YOU'RE A BATHURD!
Despite having his ass handed to him, The man who does more that just Whistle Dixie, Shag-nus retained his title after Flabyss used "Janice" to tear a hole in the canvas and drag Joe under the ring.
Dixie "Rich Idiot" Carter is gone! at least for a few months! Despite the distraction of
So more Southern hospitality for the Carters. Y'all DONT Come back now, Y'here!
Follow me on Twitter @saveusPOE Or search for TGWTGEAMONN
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