replacement host for plank kenny (not real its a joke)

• Russel brand
• Freddie star
• Gary glitter
• Dara o 'brien
• Osama bin laden
• Dustin
• me!!
• howard stern
• the nostalgia critic (believe me he's one funny sumbitch)
• MOBO the news monstor (from futurama)
• ME!!!
• The guy from big brother with the tourettes symdrome
• Podge and rodge
• dame enda
• ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE REMOTELY ENTERTAINING THAN PLANK KENNY

dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

next sunday, wrestlemania 25

next sunday the wrestling equalivement to woodstock, wrestlemania is coming to our screens on sunday
here is the full line-up starting saturday

next saturday the hall of fame induction ceremony

Sunday the whole fucking event

the card in order of title importance

wwe title:
randy orton verSus "the Game" triple h
money on: HHH

World heavyweight title
EDGE VS the big show vs JOHN FUCKING CENA
money on: FUCKING CENA

intercontinental title match
john bradshaw-layfield versus rey mysterio (Jbl promises "something historic" taking mysterios mask off?)

money in the bank ladder match (winner gets a title match for any time within the year)
kane vs christian vs C.M Punk vs "The gold standard" Shelton benjamin vs MVP VS finlay vs mark henry vs kofi kingson
money on:benjamin
wishful thinking: our own finlay!

tag title unification match to crown the Undisputed tag team champions
the colon brothers versus john morrision and that dude from MTV!!!!
match will be lumberjack match (i.e. ring surrounded by wrestlers not good enough to be at a match at wrestlemania)
money on: miz and morrison

miss wrestlemania (25 women over the top battle royal, despite that there is only 16 women on the roster!)
money on:suprise entrant
wishful thinking:cancel this match

shawn micheals versus undertaker
money on: 'Taker 17-0, the safest bet ever made.

chris Jericho versus jimmy superfly snuka, ricky "the dragon" steamboat and Rowdy roddy piper with ric flair (WOOO!!!): handicap match
money on: jericho
wishful thinking:"i'm outta retirement!WOO! AND I WANT A REMATCH!WOOOOOOO!!!!!

jeff hardy versus matt hardy
EXTREME MOTHERFUCKING RULES! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!
winner: to close to call
wishful thinking: matt to beat the crystal meth out of jeff's system! now that's an intervention!

things you don,t what to hear at strike or rally

• BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WE ALL LIVE IN A FACIST NATION!
• BLAST OFF! IT'S PARTY TIME! AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!! (towards minister)
• Reduce carbon or we'll burn your house!
• death to the west!(shiek scream)
• you can take my job BUT YOU CAN NOT TAKE MY FREEDOM!!!!
• when you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.....
• THIS. IS. TUI! (kicks Persian messager into well) AND TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!
• E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!
• i know lets not get the government involved
• of course its not a tank! who would bring a tank to a chinese student rally?

places you don't want to go on a school outing

• titanic boat ride
• louis walshe's closet
• big brother set at midnight with the cameras still on!
• vatican male changing room
• iraq
• pontypridd all-u-can eat "fresh" Bacon blowout!
• hell... also known as the gaeltacht!

Mr.T is a god-warrior!

yes, everyone favourite 80s icon ,when not shilling snickers or breaking down doors,
appears on the religous sky channels giving gospel readings and saying that he is a god warrior

so i guess they made the wrong program 24-years ago

"1985 years ago the romans cruxified the messiah for a crime he did'nt commit. today he and 3 others survive as soldiers of fortune in the Los Angeles underground, so if your are in trouble, and you pray hard enough, maybe you can hire....

the J-TEAM
STARRING
mr T as B.A.
GOD AS HANNIBAL
DAN BROWN'S VERSION OF JESUS AS FACE
AND A CREATIONIST PREACHER AS MURDOCH

I love it when a plan comes together!

now that what i call parody songs 2

Yes there is pattern here

FAG BOYS
(to the tune of Bad boys by inner circle, a.k.a the cops themes)

fag boys
whata gone
whattagonnado,
when louis walsh he comes for you

tell me
whatchaa do-oo
oh year
Chorus:
Fag boys, fag boys,
whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do
when they bumfuck you(x2)

nobody now getting now getting no break
every body now says F**k's Sake
the difference between george micheal and microwave,
microwave stops when the door is open!

chorusx2
you alienate your brother rob makeup from your sister,
you upset your mother, and your daddy want to hit ya
some thing something something something
more forgotten than the national anthem!

Chorus(x6)
fade out

please comment
Bermingham/hayden
copyright

finally the rock has come back...to Hannah Montana?

why is Dwanyne Johnson aka the great one, the people's champ 6-time wwe champion on hannah Montana over in the states i know that his career is a joke but oh my god.
i know that Disney (aka the Nazi Rat) is'nt going to let the rock be wwe's rock

But can you imagine if he lost it and vowed to return "home".

"Who in the blue hell are you?"
Im Miley cy-
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS ! But you can do something for the Rock.
i want you to get my disney/Miramax Contract and shine it up good,
then i want you to give it to mister one-hit yo daddy Mr Achey-Breaky Heart i want you to turn it side-ways, you sumbitch!
then i want you to give it to my agent so he can SHOVE IT UP HIS CANDY-ASS!
(the silent sound of smarts screaming yes to the point of orgasism)
he then puts a peoples elbow on Miley, Billie ray Mileys retard brother Jackson and his agent he then picks up a mike.
IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALALA, WHAT THE ROCK ...
(RAISES THE ROGER MOORE EYEBROW)
IS COOKING!

wrestlemania is great and all, but...

Even something as great and amazing has its bad moments as i recently posted my greatest wrestlemania moments is only right a throw a bone to the right. so here is, in parentis,

Eamonn's WTF moments at WRESTLEMANIA

1. a match that last 5 seconds
2. The whole event
3. the midget tag match
4. nothing
5. Woody Allen playing the Commie Anthem, on the piano in a toilet?
6. the first ever mixed tag
7. the blindfold match
8. too...much...gimmicks!!!
9. the case of the Multiple Doinks speaking of..
10. Doink and Dink (Dink was a midget clown)
11. why oh why is the main event a wrestler vs SOME FOOTBALL PLAYER
12. Tag tourney
13. the rocks forgetable debut thank god he was'nt judged by this match
14. the red-neck boxing tournament with Butterbean did i tell you vince hates MMA
15. the dumpster match
16. thriple H realises that being married to the bosses daughter has more than the obvious advantatages
17. not the event itself, but Jericho adding more than milk and sugar to Regal's tea raised a few eyebrows
18. macmachon refuses Hogan vs Austin (who legit hate each other) so Austin gets Last Call Scott Hall
19. Fred Durst singing about Crack Addicts and Muller Lite Cat fight Girls, the height of entertainment(!)
20. Beniot hugging his wife and kid (considering what he will do 4 years later,creeps me out)
21. Sumo Match
22. Cena basicly says everyone in chicago is a Gangster
23. Hair vs Hair: Macmachon versus Trump
24. Kim Kardashian: Ethnic Hollywood whore

let's see what shit vince has for us this year

things Brian Cowen would'nt say!

• i learned how to count with potatoes
• Arse! Feck! Drink!
• that is terrible language...
• coughlin, sort out them effers
• it looks like we will lose another generation of Irish to emirgration....starting with me
• i'm raising money for the party by sellin' home brew!

now that what i call parody songs 1

the Goverment are Chancers
to the tune of Rhytmn is a Dancer

the goverment are chancers
biffo is a bastard
recession is in the air

Elderly aren't jolly,
patients are on trollies
hearney doesn't even care

OOOOOOOOOH
they are wankers
oooooooooooooh
you know they dont care
they are bastards
woooooah-oooooh-oh

(rap)
y'know that they wankers
they kicked Celtic tiger
in the Knackers
why did they get Bertie out ?
he should have saved us all with a bailout
he should have called paddy the plasterer
so save us all us all from distaster
now
hello
oh no
biffo
HELL NO
He learned how to count with potatoes
i'm serious like cancer
when i say government are Chancers
Copyright Bermingham

Death wish situations

• bungie-jumping into a flushing toilet
• going into a trucker/biker bar and saying "Is this a gay bar?
• standing in a line for the Harry Potter book prediocally shouting "HE DIES!"
• Playing Guess who with Samual L. Jackson....Does he look like a bitch? DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!?!
• Going to a Wrestling show and holding a big sign saying It's fake!
• Playing Keep away with pete Doherty...and his hash pipe
• meeting the pope wearing a LGBT t-shirt