Tuesday, June 28, 2016

REVENGE OF THE TASTE TEST 2K16

Imagine how annoyed I was a Few weeks ago when, after finishing my limited edition Pringles Taste test, this came out of the blue!

Cadbury's has released for the summer 3 icecream inspired flavours of their baked good-The Mini Roll-A chocolate roulade about 3 ins long covered in Cadbury's signature Chocolate! Being limited editions, you can't buy these separate, only in packs of 10. We will do this is Alphabetical Order.

Before i Start, the advertising suggests that i should put the cakes in a freezer overnight!
Image result for grumpy cat how about no

I'm Eating these straight out of the package, with a cuppa, Like a cake, CAUSE IT'S A FUCKING CAKE! WHO FREEZES A CAKE?

CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT
Package Colour: Brown and White Scarf
Calorie count-510 calories
Package Mottoes-"Freeze Me" "Cold as Ice" "Ice To Eat Me" "Spread the Joy" "Choc Full Of Joy" "Choc-Tastic"

Two Bites and Confection is obliterated, Chocolate Sponge with a Chocolate Cream, looks bland, tastes bland, is bland. The cream keeps the dry sponge most, so there's that!

NEAPOLITAN
Package Colour: Pink and White Scarf
Calorie Count: 515 calories
Package Mottoes-the 1st four above are repeated but are joined by "Triple Trouble" and "THE Classic!"
You Can smell it through the plastic and all the memories of summer holidays and family parties come flooding back! To invoke the taste of Neapolitan,the sponge is not chocolate, but vanilla and the cream (the very little of it!) is strawberry, Delicious and Novel concept, would have liked more cream!

TOFFEE SWIRL
Package Colour: Sand and white Scarf
Calorie Count: 540 calories
Package Mottoes; "Toffee-tastic" "Naughty but Ice" "BRRRRR!" "Melt in Your Mouth" "Just For Mum"
As always, the Toffee Flavour is the most heaviest flavour of the bunch. The sponge is vanilla again and cream is joined by a thin layer of butterscotch on it, which spirals to the bottom the closer i eat to the adjacent end. It has the same problem the 1st had, no contrasting flavours, chocolate hazelnut had chocolate-in-chocolate-in-chocolate, whilst this has vanilla-in-vanilla-in-vanilla, with the chocolate breaking up the flavour!

Well, that's it!
I'm gonna sitting here waiting for #TNAWFUL to release the next One SHITE whenever they feel like it, instead of capitalizing on the 4 week wait til WWE battleground and RELEASING IT NOW!

I'm review it when it does get released, I will no longer be reviewing Battleground, BECAUSE I AM OPTING TO WATCH THE DRAFT ON THE LIVE SMACKDOWN INSTEAD!

See you all soon!

Monday, June 20, 2016

MONEY IN THE BANK 2016: TITTYMASTER OF HIS DOMAIN!

How apropos a setting for a high risk match than Las Vegas! It was built as the GREATEST MONEY IN THE BANK EVER! AND It Didn't Disappoint. Mania quality Main Event's that were held nicley by the undercard however, nothing is ever 100% which brings us to....

on the Preshow, OLD TURDS Defeated Breeze and Fandango, because they....were covered in sunburn! I don't know what was more painful, having to work a match in that condition or watching it!

Did the Dudleys come back from the Theme Park Ran by An Electric Company, just to put over young talent? It's the way of the world of wrestling I understand that, however you don't need to put over Kalisto, as he is well talented and I've Sin Enough Cara has a brown tongue somewhere in that mask!

To the Show itself and we had a solid start with the 4 way match, it made the champs look strong but also the other 3 teams, winning sequence was all 4 teams hitting their finishes ending with Gallows taking Midnight Hour! New day are 9 days from being the Tag team record held by Paul London and Brain Kendrick.

Waiting for Dolph vs Boring to end be like...
 Image result for skeleton waiting at computer
Baron Won, like anyone cares!

SHOCKER OF THE NIGHT! NATTIE TURNED HEEL ON BECKY! After losing to the women's champion, Charlotte and Asya 2.0! Dana continues to be the Shits!

Crews bet Lame-Arse with a Roll-up!
3 dreg match on the trot!
Looks like Sheamus's legs....(Puts on sunglasses) weren't Rocksteady!
Image result for csi yeah gif
Despite an awesome match, a ref bump insured that that the club did help it's leader in defeating John Cena. I SMELL REMATCH!

Next was the reason we came, the Money in the bank ladder match, and never had i heard a crowd split-6 ways, Every entrance the crowd was lit! We had a lot of unique offence cannonballs onto ladders Springboard SHORYUKENS! In the End  Dean Ambrose won the contract, but his night was not over yet...

To get to it, Titus faced Rusev in a title match that was owned after Vince MacMahon's bullshit! And even then, Rusev retained! But remember what i said on Wednesday-Title changes at a wwe ppv is one Minimum!

It was Bittersweet for Seth Rollins last night, coming back from injury after 9 months, winning the title he never lost, only to Dean to REV UP DEM TITTIES! As he Promised, Dean Ambrose cashed in on Seth and celebrated in Sin City with the Gold-ware!

WELL THAT'S IT! I HAVE A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON, AS WELL AS THE SCHEDULE FOR LATE SUMMER! If you want more Enlightened Goodness, follow me on twitter @RealEnli

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

MONEY IN THE BANK PREDICTIONS

(Reads TNA Spoilers and Public Apology from Pop Tv)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OH I'M SO GLAD I AVOIDED THIS SEWAGE PIT OF A COMPANY THIS WEEK!

Sunday is the event that will promise to change the current status quo of WWE. If you win Money in the bank, you are guaranteed to be a top guy in Wrestling.

JUST ASK DAMIAN SANDOW!
OH WAIT!

And if you win it means Creative have complete faith in your abilities!

JUST ASK THE BIG DEAD CAREER AND GOBSHITE FROM MTV!

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
THE MAN SETH ROLLINS VS THE GUY BLOWMAN LAMES!
I Wonder if Rollins is 100%. but don't worry!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AT FULL STRENGTH-TO MAY ROMAN LOOK STRONG!
MONEY ON-REIGNS! THIS MATCH MAY BE A LITMUS TEST ON IF THE MITB WINNER WOULD JUST CASH IN THAT NIGHT!

THE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION WILL BE IN ACTION
BECKY LYNCH & NATALYA VS CHARLOTTE AND DANA "LEX LUGER IN DRAG!" BROOK
Charlotte just got over an arm injury, now she's gonna throw her back out, Carrying Dana Brook
MONEY ON: FACES IT'S NON TITLE THEREFORE IT DOESN'T MATTER!

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
RUSEV (C) VS TITUS O'NEILL
After that ridiculous suspension 3 months ago, It's only fair that Titus gets this shot! by ironically putting his hands on a white man!
MONEY ON: EVEN THOUGH THESE PPVS ARE USUALLY ONE TITLE CHANGE MINIMUM, VINCE OWES TITUS THIS SHOT!

FATAL 4-WAY MATCH FOR THE WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
 THE NEW DAY (C) (TBA-ANY COMBINATION OF WOODS, KINGSTON AND BIG E) VS THE VAUDEVILLIANS (GOTCH/ENGLISH) VS ENZO AND CASS VS THE BULLET CLUB 
If they don't put the belts on Gallows and Anderson, then what is the point of signing them?
MONEY ON: THE CLUB!

MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
ALBERTO "PAIGE'S PAPI!" DEL RIO VS CESARO VS KEVIN OWENS VS SAMI ZAYN VS CHRIS JERICHO VS DEAN AMBROSE!
ALL TALENT! ALL EXCITEMENT! NO PLACEHOLDERS! NO BIG SHITES! NO BIG RED DISAPPOINTMENTS! NO R-TURDS! NO GOBSHITES FROM MTV! WHOEVER WINS THIS MATCH! DESERVES TO WIN THIS MATCH!
MONEY ON: BOOKING A MONEY IN A BANK IS SIMPLE REALLY! ONGOING FUEDS CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT! SAMI AND OWENS ARE STILL FEUDING! AS ARE DEAN AND JERICHO. SINCE CESARO AND DEL RIO ARE NOT DIRECTLY FEUDING IT COULD EASILY BE ONE OF THOSE 2!

THE DREAM MATCH!
AJ STYLES GETS BURIED BY-I MEAN VERSUS- JOHN CENA!
WHAT TO HEAR JOHN CENA'S NEW THEME MUSIC? IT'S AN IRISH FOLK SONG BUT DON'T HOLD THAT AGAINST IT!
https://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjy3cvG1qnNAhWjKMAKHaUSAXkQ3ywIHzAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DApHj9vOu2eQ&usg=AFQjCNG926brjva9e14v_FGG8-CdYWJjlg&sig2=3UXTMK2lIXRKXrnHt3Jwbg

MONEY ON: THE FUCK YOU THINK? AND STYLES CALLING CENA OUT ON IT? ALL HE GOT WAS CENA SAYING "AT LEAST I ADMIT IT!"

PRESHOW
LAME-ARSE VS APOLLO CREWS!
Lets see Crews smile after Lame-Arse kicks him with the Boot-Licker's Boot!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS BORING SIDEBURNS-AGAIN!
WELL, SINCE WE ARE RECYCLING...
Image result for nostalgia critic

WELL, THAT'S IT!
Results will be up on this blog on Monday Morning! and apart from any surprise reviews or announcements you will not hear anything til next month! And For those Asking YES! SLAMMERVERSARY WILL BE "NEW" IN EUROPE ON SATURDAY 17TH  OF JULY 2016! And NO! there will NO COVERAGE OF A SHOW SHOWN LAST WEEK! When Spoilers are more readily available. Not here, Not on Tumblr. YOU WHERE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO LET US DO OUR JOBS IMPACT WRESTLING AND CHALLENGE TV! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!



Wednesday, June 8, 2016

TNA CRAPPIVERSARY: A PREDICTION'S POST IN VERSE!

TNA'S SLAMMIVERSARY is on Saturday
But the Brits and this Irishman won't see it anyway!

So what has put me in a very bad nature?
All Tna ppv's on Saturdays, because of Menclature 

One SHITE Only, a night later well that is just Grand
but 6 day wait for a live show? I'M GONNA THROW HANDS!

We tweeted that proposed to change it to wednesday with a bit of Nudge
But the gameshow channel that know Jackshit about wrestling, wouldn't move a budge

A Rebrand at challenge is coming to revert to a gameshow ONLY! Station
They already cancelled... 

Image result for videogame nation

So after MITB, I WON'T REVIEW TNA TIL JULY!
Because if you don't care, THEN WHY SHOULD I

Not having the show this week does not make sense!
But i suppose i can throw in my two cents!

DREW GALLOWAY VS BOBBY LASHLEY IS YOUR MAINEVENT THAT NIGHT!
The Match is Billed as a Legitimate Fight!

Drew has being fighting champion,  the Scot's Double Tough!
But being an MMA fighter, Lashley Know's his stuff!

What has Happened to Matt Hardy-Everyone's Hero?
He's got Badger-Arse Hair and is obsessed with "BRUVAH NERRRRRRROOOOOOO!

Using Baby as a prop is some stupid style villainy
HE AND JEFF HARDY WILL FIGHT IN NOT-TLC!

MIKE BENNETT IS A WORLD CLASS WRESTLER! THAT'S A FACT
(But someone should told the Creative Team That!)

the guy only fights jobbers and that makes me sick
Ethan Midcarder got pissed "Hey that's my Gimmick!"

AT HIS FIRST CRAPPIVERSARY! BENNETT HAS THE FIGHT OF HIS LIFE
....Too bad all the focus has gone to his Wife!

For Months, Maria has dome nothing but Scold
With her voice she stole from a 4-year old!

MARIA THE HEAD KNOCKOUT FACES GAIL KIM WITH NO INTENTION TO QUIT!
....YEAH GOOD FUCKING LUCK YOUR GONNA NEED IT!

JADE THE KNOCKOUT'S CHAMP FACES MARIA'S NEW PROXY
(Because Maria's style of Wrestling is, at Best, Poxy!)

Sienna-formerly known as Alysin Kay
Crushed the veteran Gail like a beercan....on her very 1st day!

Jade seems like she has her work cut out for her
She still wishes Rebel was at Ringside, even if she is Dumb As Dirt!

A Cash in the feast or fired took as long as it take
We have new King of the Mountain and his name is "EL.I. DRAKE!"

THE FORMER CHAMP BRAM WANTS TO BEAT HIM LIKE HIS EX-WIFE!
But he won't...AND THAT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE!

Al Snow these days is acting like a tool!

Image result for rugrats grandpa
"IN MY DAY, WE HAD TO WALK 15 MILES TO WRESTLING SCHOOL!

Al's new charges are the French Legionaires
the guys with potential but wwe didn't care!

THE FRENCH AND AL HAVE BEING TREATING GRADO AND SHERA LIKE JERKS!
Somewhere during this Shera forgot how the English Language Work!

If you expect faces to win, don't hold your Breath!
they must make this new faction look like a threat!

THE X DIVISION 4WAY WILL OPEN PROCESSIONS
THE CRUISERS THE ONLY GOOD LEFT IN IMPACT WRESTLING!

The current champ Trevor Lee, looks like a Caveman, Defrosted
takes advantage of opponents G.S. Helms Accosted!

It's time for Eddie Edwards to have a singles belt to Wear
...And Zima Ion will also be there!

To the tag belts now, and what can i say?
Abyss's career is reborn because of Decay!

they put Jesse and robbie back together because single runs fell flat
and now they are managed by Tough Enough's Ring-Rat!

They got back to together so they can feud over a skank!
This wont end well, take that to the bank!

Pepper Parks now Braxton Sutter will debut on Slammerversary
BUT HIS OPPONENT IS AT THIS TBC!

WELL THAT'S IT FOR NOW HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS RHYME!
I'LL BE BACK WITH MITB PREDICTIONS SO SEE YOU NEXT TIME!