UH!
(DEEP BREATH!)
Well now, weren't we busy for the 4 months I stop reviewed TNA, weren't you, Dixie?
Let's have a little recap!
After that Fan-Wank of a Bound For Glory in North Carolina which saw Home State Boy, Fatt Lardy win the Title, their was a problem. As you know the tv deal with The Bigfoot Channel That Care Jack Shit About Wrestling was not being Renewed. but they had extended their clause until January, leaving Tna high and dry for the next 3 months with no new matches. So the idea was struck to write a storyline that Ethan Carter was so BUTTHURT By losing the Belt, that he actually put a restraining order on Matt Hardy, denying him from entering work, so Hardy Dropped the Belt, and Internet Content Matches were now cobbled together into a fake Tournament, one that had male on female violence, Eli Drake's magical Colour changing Hair, discarded titles, and it culminated into a final that was THE EXACT SAME MATCH THAT STARTED THE ENTIRE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE, and served only to put the belt back on the Company Killer.
But then came the Rematch!
I have no love lost for Ethan Carter, i still stand by the things i said, and he has blocked me on Twitter (that in itself is funny, since i have no desire to follow wrestlers,since eventually they will be booked in a way people don't like!) But for Hardy to give Carter a unprotected chair shot to the Head? Matt Hardy is a 20 year veteran, he's seen first hand what concussion can do to a person! and for TNA to sanction this? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! I don't like the man, true, but I don't want to see him turned into a vegetable!
so venting over, Welcome to Rivals, a lazily booked One SHITE Only!, where matches you've seen before are re-hashed without rhyme or reason. ALL ABROAD THE LAZY TRAIN!
1st match was one of the few Good talking points of the Fake Tourney! Davey Richards vs Eddie Edwards Wrestled to a draw that night, but Saturday Night this was one fall to a finish, a superb match with technical flair and a bit of comedy sneaked in for good Measure, Edwards won with a roll-up and they shook hands afterwards, thus dispelling any split up rumours
First two Carriage of the Lazy Train pulled into the Station. Young stole Melendez Prosthetic Leg, Again and Galloway bet Drake, Again!
Next was Mockstar Dud vs Tigre Uno, whose body has really suffered the brunt of the Forgetton titles during the fake tourney. But his shoulder held out, because seriously, it's a face booked Spud he's facing! and Face spud is not that fun to watch!
Another taking point was the Rise of Mahabli Shera during the Tourney (but only because TNA wanted to tour India and put the title on him, but the recent ISIS attacked proved a risk they couldn't take!) and his incredible body slam on Bobby Lashley, But being the outside The Theme Park, none of the fans were having none of the Shera Shuffle, and without the support, Lashley made quick work of the Indian
Then the rest of the Lazy Train came in. Fatt Lardy and Ethan MidCarder wrestled to a pathetic double count out, The Beautiful People defeated the Dollhouse, again, Robbie E was defeated by Jessie GlassJawz, again, But not before gesturing to Jesse during a promo to hold the mic 2 inches from his face, a call back to the Hardcore Justice One night only 2 years ago! And Mr Anderson beat Bram, Again!
I WAITED 6 DAYS AFTER AMERICA, FOR THIS?
Well that's it! I'm going to buy a Stress Ball or something, When I come back, I'll have results of TNA Joker's Wild next month, Fastlane on the enlightenedtowers tumblr, And the day after St Patrick's Day, It's officially Icecream Season, so Heartbeat International will release the new Limited Edition Magnum(s) and/or Cornetto(es)
SEE YOU SOON!
