WWE PAYBACK PREDICTIONS 2016

Payback is shaping up to be a great show this year. Sadly, Ireland and Britain has a bank Holiday, so results will be on my Tumblr page, enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com as a Second Hand Smoke! LETS GET RIGHT TO IT!

(ALL MATCHES ARE IN DESCENDING IMPORTANCE, DUE TO THE DIVAS TITLE RETIREMENT AND REPLACED WITH THE WORLD'S WOMEN'S TITLE THE ORDER HAS CHANGED FROM NOW ON MY PREDICTION WILL GO:

1. WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
2. WWE WORLD'S WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
3. INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
4. U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
5. TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
6. NUMBER 1 CONTENDER'S MATCH
7. NON TITLE GIMMICK MATCH
8. SQUASH
9. NON TITLE LADIES MATCH!

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

BLOWMAN REIGNS VS AJ STYLES

Reigns is now doing Make-A-Wish Visits. HE WILL NEVER TURN HELL NOW! As for the match, I don't know if they will turn the Bullet Club against Styles, i think a title rematch at Summerslam is in the cards!

3 POSSIBLE SCENARIOS

SCENARIO 1: BULLET CLUB ATTACKS REIGNS AFTER REF BUMP, STYLES RUN THEM OUT, WALKS INTO SPEAR, DUSTY FINISH!

SCENARIO 2: BULLET CLUB ATTACKS: STYLES TURNS HELL WINS TITLE

SCENARIO 3: BULLET CLUB ATTACKS THEM BOTH! MATCH THROWN OUT, STYLES AND REIGNS DISTRACTED BY THE LIGHTS GOING OUT, BALOR ARRIVES TO TAKE THEM BOTH OUT, BALOR TO MAIN ROSTER!

WWE WORLD'S WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP!

CHARLOTTE(c) W/ RIC FLAIR VS NATALYA WO/ BRET HART!

Yeah, the word is that Bret does not want to work with Ric after the bitter feud he has with him.

I'm sure that they can work it into a storyline at the last minute! and replace him with Tyson!

MONEY ON: CHARLOTTE

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (c)VS CESARO

REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THESE TWO WRESTLED ON PPV? AND THE NO TALENT PIECE OF SHIT PUNCHED THE SWISS MAN IN THE TOBERONES?

MONEY ON: I WOULD LIKE TO SAY CESARO, BUT AFTER THE ONE DAY TITLE REIGN OF ZACK RYDER, VINCE MAY STILL BE IN A "FUCK YOU, INTERWEBZ!" MOOD!

PRESHOW AGAIN!

KALISTO VS (c) STEROIDBACK!

Well Creative, if you Don't give a shit, why should I?

MONEY ON: NEXT!

NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S MATCH FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!

ENZO AND BIG CASS VS THE VAUDEVILLIANS (AIDEN ENGLISH/SIMON GOTCH)

Two of my favourite teams duke it out for the number 1 contender-ship to the Nigh Unstoppable New Day! who will win the day? The #QuiteManly throwbacks who are booked as heels? or will the dueling promos from two entertaining teams be what people want to see?

MONEY ON: CAN'T CALL IT!

DEAN AMBROSE VS CHRIS JERICHO

It's time to Break the walls down and REV UP THEM TITTIES!

Dean hosting a talk show segment is weird, since he not really that talkative, but i suppose they had to have a means for them to fight! Jericho winning will make no sense, he's hitting 47 this month! he's constantly fucking off to play with his band, or host gameshows or take part in gameshows, his heart is not it anymore! and his body catching up! he's stiff he's more injury prone and he's getting soft in the middle too!

MONEY ON: AMBROSE!

KEVIN OWENS VS SAMI ZAYN

These two should put on a good show, if they want to earn spots in Money in the Bank next Month! As for it being over, this is just a singles match!

MONEY ON: OWENS! THEN SAMI WIN REMATCH THE NEXT NIGHT, THEY QUALIFY FOR MITB, TAKE EACHOTHER OUT TO SET UP STEELCAGE/I QUIT/NO DQ/ MATCH AT SUMMERSLAM!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS BORING SIDEBURNS!

PUSH CORBIN! HE'S A MASTODON! I'M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!

SPEAKING OF!

VINCE MCMAHON TO PUBLIC ADDRESS THE FUTURE OF SHANE AND THE UH-TORITY!

Due to the Bank Holiday on Monday, Results will on my tumblr on Tuesday, the subtitle of this show is Career Suicide Tuesday! Victory Road will shown in Ireland a Day before Extreme Rules. so i choose to review the free tna show over the wwe ppv that costs €25.00. over on bogger box office, due to a delivery, Jupiter Ascending will launch a day early, on the 4th of May!

I Will be back on tuesday!

see you soon! 

PEACE!

LIVE FROM THE WAREHOUSE DISTRICT! TNA KNOCKOUTS KNOCKDOWN: REBEL WON A MATCH? (Warning Contains *SPOILERS!*

IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOANIE "CHYNA" LAURER
1969-2016
A month after the greatest Women's match in Recent History, and a week after the the death of a true trailblazer in the annuls of women's wrestling. TNA FINALLY! returns in kind, with it's all female tournament. I've only ever reviewed this show once, and that's because the show follows a formula, knockout faces indy girl, indy girl jobs! Only 3 women bucked the trend, Jackie Moore-because she's a veteren, Havoc, because she signed a contract, and Reby, because she is boning BIG MONEY ICONIC MATT HARDY BIG DINNERS MORONIC FATT LARDY!

Speaking of Fomula, Once again JB is interuptted by the Heel's with the biggest X-pac Heat! this year it's the Underwhelming Miracle and his Trophy Wife! who undermine the girls every word and action, Let's Meet the Girls and their Opponent's in no particular Order:

LAURA DENNIS-The Recently Hired "Cherry Bomb" Sucks up to the Bennets, this is because she is *SPOILER Now called Ally is Maria's assistant after she showed that any idiot can climb a ladder!* She will face the recently released Velvet Sky
JAMIE JAMESON: Who Borash calls "Jamie Jackson" who is well built and flexes with Mike Bennett. She will face Martibelle? Marti-Belle? Marty Bell, however it's Spelt , she's facing her!
VEDA SCOTT: Who looks like a Porn version of Velma from Scooby Doo! She will Face Rosemary in Her in-ring Debut!
BARBI HAYDEN: Who looks like a  Curvy pin-up Girl who hogs the camera, and is a local Orlandite! She will Face...Raquel? who the fuck is...oh it's the Brazillian Ring Rat From Tough Enough!I FORGOT SHE  STILL WORKED HERE!
LEVA BATES: WHO GETS A MASSIVE POP! she will face the Current Knockout's Champion, Jade
DEONNA: at 21, is the youngest girl of the group, she will face Madison Rayne
SHELLY MARTINEZ: Who is only back for the cheques from Dixie that bounced since the last time she was in TNA! And she is looking Dog-Rough, the can't even afford Wrestling Gear, she's wrestling in a Swimsuit and Halloween Makeup! this will be easy for her, she's facing the Low level Enemy of the Dollhouse, the Girl who was only hired so Christy can have a friend from work she could drink with, Rebel! Because Rebel has not Won a Match, AND NEVER WILL!
ALLYSIN (B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ...KEWL!) KAY: *Spoiler: Now signed and now calling herself Sienna*) Kay says that she is as classy as Maria because "When she Drinks her Beer can, she holds it Pinkies out!" that was pretty funny! she will face Gail Kim in our 1st match!

Gail Kim lost to Allysin by Count out after Maria tookout Gail on the outside. And That ending was not Needed! Because Gail was Totally Destroyed by the Powerhouse That is Kay! It was so Onesided You'd think it wasn't Gail getting squashed! yeah Allysin qualifies to the Gauntlet Main Event, though the Finish was Bullshit! Gail challenges the Bennetts to a Mixed Tag Later with a mystery partner!

Speaking of Miracles, I JUST SAW ONE!
REBEL WON A MATCH!
THIS IS AMAZING! I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE!
HEY, OPRAH! REBEL WON A MATCH!

HEY DOUG! REBEL WON A MATCH!

HEY ELLIS!
REBEL WON A MATCH!

DON'T FORGET TO TELL YOUR PETS!

John Ritland , Your rebuttal to Rebel actually winning a match?

https://t.co/Njhdp1zC8w

YEAH PROBABLY NOT!
REBEL WINNING A MATCH? ISN'T THAT ONE OF THE SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE?

Laura Dennis defeated Velvet Sky in a match that was a combination of Laura being world Class and Sky phoning it in! One complaint, What's with Laura and the high Pitched, almost orgasmic squeels with she is hit! I'm watching this in Ireland in the Early hours at it's a little embarrasing! Still nice back and forth, Dennis can get a great match from anyone!

MATCH OF THE NIGHT!
When people heard that It was Leva vs Jade, Internet be like...

Jade won after Leva slipped on the turnbuckle, but prior to another screwy finish, this Match was amazing and I promise not to use the above picture ever again!

Rosemary Mortal Kombated and curb stomped the red hair dye out of Veda's head! Rosemary looking good in her in ring debut! also Rosemary has a bit of a following, and maybe because she looks a lot like Bayley in Makeup!

Next Barbi Hayden Introduced her "friend" in the audience, who she refferred to as "Trina" even though this woman was not in that seat at ringside before and after this match. Yes she was a plant. And helped Barbi win against Raquel in another screwy finish.
You are facing the Ring Rat from Tough Enough, think you can take her!

Madison Rayne vs Deonna was a pedistrian affair. Deonna kept shaking Madison's hand for some reason. I Went to the kitchen to make a bowl of Spicegetthi and the Match was already over. Madison gets the final spot in the Gauntlet!

Gail Revealed her Mystery Partner to Be....DJ Z?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....WELL OF COURSE THEY LOST!
Jade won the Gauntlet for the Queen of the Knockout Tiara and Sash...though Money would have being nice too!
ORDER OF ENTRY

1. BARBI
2. MARTI
3. MADDIE
4. REBEL
5. LAURA
6. ALLYSIN
7. ROSEMARY
8. JADE

ORDER OF ELIMINATION

1. BARBI
2. LAURA
3. REBEL LOST A MATCH AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!
4. ROSEMARY AND ALYSIN
5. MARTI
6. MADISON BY PINFALL!

WELL THAT'S IT!
because of the bank Holiday and the fact that doing 2 shows a week between themselves is a strain on my health, I will NOT be doing PAYBACK, but i will have predictions on Wednesday, the rest of the world will see Victory Road the friday before Extreme Rules, but Britain will see Victory Road the day before! as such, i will only review Victory Road  Next Month, as The ppv is only on the Network and i don't have the network! SO until Next month, I HAVE BEING "ENLIGHTENED" EAMONN BERMINGHAM AND YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AT @RealEnli

CREDITS
I would like to thank my Friend, John Ritland, who you can follow at @RebourneAgain on twitter, for taking time out of his busy schedule to supply his cameo for this review.
John, a chara, a Cead mBhilla Failte Rombh!
(My friend a Thousand Thank Yous!)

 

Summer Schedule 2016

The Days are Getting warmer, the Nights are getting shorter...but I'm in Ireland where a week without rain is considered "a good summer"! So since i will be cooped up like a battery Hen, I'm gonna lay down my Summer Schedule.

SUMMER SCHEDULE FOR ENLIGHTENED TOWERS

Due to several family commitments, I'll not be reviewing Extreme rules Again this year. In fact anything before June  will be subject to change. And Because Payback is a day before a Bank Holiday, my use of the internet cafe will be hindered so both post Mania PPVS are regulated to Second Hand Smoke

• 25th of April-TNA One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown: Rebel Won A Match? (blog exclusive)
• ALSO 25TH-Second Hand Smoke: Extreme Rules 2016
• May the 3rd-Second Hand Smoke:WWE PAPERBACK: Career Suicide Tuesday!
• Top of my head, i don't know what the July payperview is called again! ( battleground?) but will review it 1st hand!
• July -Money in the Bank
• August -Summerslam on Second Hand Smoke

(All post are subject to change and others may be added to blog. Second Hand Smoke can be read on my Tumblr page and that's enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com)

GLOBAL FORCE WRESTLING
As of time of writing, I've only had one correspondense with Boulder Creek International, the British Distributer of Global Force Wrestling, Negotiations with Global Force and Boulder Creek happened last month, but we still have no idea where, when or will we ever have a British Tv Deal. I will keep you Posted, but it seems i won't be reviewing GFW ppv anytime this year!

SCHEDULE FOR BOGGER BOX OFFICE

TICKET TO HELL RETURNS
The Enigimatic Pimpernel from Earth 3 makes his Presence felt in a twist that No-one would see coming! on the backdrop the review of the Most Razzie-worthy films of this decade!

• April-May: EPISODE 105:DA  ALIEN BEES R STEALIN' OUR WIMMEN: EAMONN REVIEWS JUPITER ASCENDING! (EXPECTED TO BE A PART WORK!)
• June- Episode 1??-Little Panda Fighter
• July-Episode 1??-League Of Gentlemen: the Movie
• August-Episode 1??-Guns, Girls and Gambling

(All posts subject to change!)

Follow Me on Twitter at @RealEnli

WRESTLEMANIA 32: ASS, SALT AND BATTERY

It's time, What Are You Waiting For? Welcome to the longest Single Wrestlemania ever! An Epic 5 hours! (not counting the 2 hour Pre-show Before Hand!) But Does Quanity mean Quality

In the Preshow, Kalisto Retained the U.S Title from Steriodback. The 10 Diva clusterfuck ended with Team Brie getting the win after Brie applied the Yes Lock. Eva was a non-entity! And of Course since Naomi's team lost, the fan base started up again on twitter! Look, yes she is talented, but the reason she is not getting title shots is because she got her priorities wrong and is focusing on this crappy E! SHOW. But no, the fan base believe it's another reason! YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING!

Naomi fan base be like...

The Boo-sucks Defeated the Dudleys to no Fanfare from anybody!

Now to the Main show, Who else was shocked that Zack Ryder won the ladder match? oh and Sin Cara, you sly dog! you are wearing black for weeks and then you wear an angelic theme costume last night! AS IF IT WASN'T SO OVIVIOUS YOU ARE TURNING HEEL TONIGHT! Anyway, congrats to Zack Ryder! I Never Lost Faith In You, WWWYKI!

Jericho won Styles Jericho 4 in a fantastic Match! But the reason they are two a piece, guess what's the main event on Raw in London? YEP! STYLES/JERICHO 5!

Despite jumping out of giant box of cereal dressed as Saiyin Warriors (BECAUSE CONTEXT...IS BOOTY!) It wasn't enough to beat the League Of Evil Foriegners it was now a 6 man none title match, Barrett's departure must be more imminent than we thought! Barrett challenged anyone to a another Match, and out came Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Stone Cold to wail on the "Lads"

Brock Lesner Defeated Ambrose in the most Anticlimatic Street Fight Ever!

After the Hall of fame Class, all worthy of the honour this year, by the way, we saw the announcement from Amy Dumas that the Divas Title is retired, and Replaced by the WWE WORLD WOMEN'S TITLE! This match stole the entire show! As such, It's only fair to do a Full Play-by-play!

TRIPLE THREAT DIVA'S FEMALE SUPERSTAR'S MATCH FOR THE
1ST EVER WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
I said on twitter that since 2016 is the Centinary of My Country's Freedom! That my Country Woman should come out in Rebel Gear. She came out wearing a green comordore's hat and a black trench coat, the uniform of Nationalist's! Sasha was sang to the ring by her cousin Snoop Dog! And Charlotte wore a Robe, made from her Father, Ric Flair's Retirement Robe, After the Introductions and all the girls cheered, It seems that their is a remit on the Commentators Not to call them Divas anymore, as they were now referred as "ladies" or "FEMALE SUPERSTARS!"
THIS MADE ME HAPPY!

Quick pins to start as the 3 ladies begin the feeling process! Sasha gets thrown out by Charlotte and Becky takes a Rude Awakening in the Ropes! Drop Kick By Becky, and Disarm Her on Charlotte, Roll up forces Becky to release, Figure Four, but the damage done on Charlotte's arm means he can't bridge into the Figure 8! FROM NOWHERE! Banks hits both competitors with a Frog Splash! Sasha Wearing Gear that looks like those of Eddie Guerrero! Lynch takes out Flair who has being playing spoiler all this match, Moonsault by Lynch on Sasha, after being outside to check on her father, Charlotte is back with a Double Natural Selection, Sense of Desperation as Charlotte tries to repeatedly pin her adversaries. Sasha has Flair in a Electric Chair, which Lynch Assists with a drop kick. All 3 hit their respective finishers, to no avail, Until Ric trips up Sasha to stop her interfering with the finish.
WINNER AND THE NEW WWE WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION: CHARLOTTE!

Shane MacMahon Shown Incredible Heart and a whole lot of guts (including attemping to Hit the Leap Of Faith from the top of the Cell), but it wasn't enough!

PUSH BORING CORBERG! HE'S A MASTODON! I'M VINCE MACAMHON DAMMIT!

THIS YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA STAR, NEXT YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA SUN, WHAT'S 34 GOING TO BE CALLED, WRESTLEMANIA BLACK HOLE? OH THERE'S ME TALKING ABOUT HOW BADLY USED NAOMI IS!

After being cheered by cheerleaders, the Rock read the attendance record, only for the Wyatt's to come out, but we had another Suprise, as Rock was dressed to wrestle under his civvies, Beating Erick Rowan in 6 seconds, a new Mania Record!

AND THEN THE MAIN EVENT...
for some Reason Triple H's entrance...was a Fetish Video!, Seriously Stephanie was Dressed in the Kind of Leather Gear Not even the most Heelish Diva's would think of Wearing, calling people worms and filth as she was surrounded by Gimps dressed Hunt-uh's suits! After the chorus of Pelting and Deafening Boos the entire match Plodded at a slow pace! Roman Put us all out of our Misery by winning, but not before spearing, Steph, Because Roman is a Good Guy!

Well, that's it I'm gonna eat Some ICEPOPS to deal with this caffiene Hangover, But i will be watch and live Tweeting Tonight's Raw!

See you soon!