Announcement pertaining to the future of my tumblr site!

This week I have learned that Sky Sports, believing Fast Lane to be a new ppv and not a name change, is actually charging for it on box office, sandwiched in between 2 must see events, last week's Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania 31 In March!

while I won't watch ppv I won't pay for, and since everything come out of my own pocket, the months I don't review (though The Holidays are a given, and I'm glad you understand that!) my activity takes a nosedive.

To that end and to revitalise my tumblr that have not been update since the end of December. Any discussion of a ppv I didn't pay for will go there!

These Tumbles will be called "Second Hand Smoke" and they will be exclusive only to enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com, though a link will be man in a post here to direct people who don't follow me on twitter!- the 1st will be Fast Lane-RUSEV NOT CARRIED, RUSEV GOT BURIED! on the 23rd of next month!

I will still be reviewing some-not all!-ppvs live Wrestlemania is a lock, as is Night of champions-Summerslam can go either way, but tna ppvs are a definite!

Thank you!
Please return next week for part 1 of BESTLEMANIA/WORSTMANIA! And at Boggerboxoffice, look out for Mrs.Brown D'movie on Saturday at midnight gmt.

That is all!
Eamonn

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2015: IT TOOK 29 MEN TO MAKE ROMAN LOOK STRONG!

Well, you could see it from space can you, what happened last night!, actually you can see it from the billboard in Santa Clara last week, when they ruined wrestlemania for us!

1st thing's first, the preshow. This burial of Kidd and Cesaro has to stop right now! We were in the "Land of Extreme" Philadelphia, home of the most passionate fans in the world, outside Britain of course1 The Phillie crowd Slaughtered the new Day! and when Tyson got the win with Sharpshooter, crowd went ape-shit...For the 1st time tonight!

Officialy the show started with the Old Aged Outlaws vs The Legion Of DERP!(I Wonder wHHHo booked that!). This was just another squash match for the new team. can we have the Ascension from Nxt! beceuse this facsimile bullshit ain't helping them at all!

World Tag team championship the Boo-Sucks Retained over GOBSHITE FROM MTV! and Damien Gobshitedow, but in the process, Sandow had the crowd eating out of his hand, Very entertaining!

It's so great when you are fucking someone with power, that means you can get booked in non-title match at ppvs. Nikki clotheslined (seriously! that's the finish. It wasn't even a powerful clothesline, it was a standing one!) Nattie to continue being the paper champion.

Next was a hellraising, blistering paced 3 way onslaught for the wwe championship. Despite being put hit by chairs, briefcases, taking 4 F.U'S and 7 Curb stomps, Even BEING ELBOWED THROUGH A TABLE AND BREAKING 3 RIBS AND NEARLY STRETCHERED OUT OF PHILLIE, Brock absorbed all of this in a match where he was a marked-man. and he fought like one! He pinned Rollins after beating him like he owned him money! so he couldn't cash in post match! But Brock better not turn up anytime soon, he's still a target, especially what happened tonight!

And now our main event the royal rumble Match!
ENTRANT 1 GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (MAYBE CREATIVE ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!)
eNTRANT 2 R-TRUTH (DITTO!)
Big Mafia Kick by Truth to start off!
ENTRANT 3 BUBBA RAY DUDLEY!
I TOLD YOU AN ECW ORIGINAL WILL APPEAR IN PHILLY! Bubba and Truth teamed up with Truth filling in for D'von
ENTRANT 4:LUKE HARPER AS RTRUTH AND MIZ ARE ELIMATED DURING HIS ENTRANCE!
Bubba Bomb countered into a superkick
ENTRANT 5: BRAY WYATT
the former Wyatt family ambush Bubba.
ENTRANT 6:CURTIS ASSHOLE GROOT ERICK ROWAN
THE WYATT'S IMPLODE and both former sub-ordinate's are eliminated. Wyatt is alone!
NUMBER 7: BOOGEYMAN
WHY?WHY?WHY? After having what I can only call a freaking out contest, Boogey's Age Lying Ass is Outta Here!
NUMBER 8: I'VE SEEN ENOUGH CARA!
Asai Moonsault but Wyatt caught him-Sister Abigal and Adios Sin cara! Wyatt gets the microphone and starts singing Whole World in his hands-this wonderful crowd join in!
NUMBER 9: ZACK RYDER
They actually let Zack Ryder have some offence in the rumble but he's gonzo too! Wyatt demands someone worthy to fight...
ENTRANT 10 DANIEL BRYAN
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Rallying corner dropkicks followed by a hurracanrana
ENTRANT 11 FANDANGOBSHITE!
Airplane spin on Dango!
NUMBER 12 TYSON KIDD!
Missle drop kick by Kidd
NUMBER 13: TIM CURRY STARDUST
Chop block on kidd, who is then eliminated
NUMBER 14: BANG! DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!
And the crowd goes nuts! DDP with Diamond Cutters to everyone!
NUMBER 15: RUSEV
Prussian Kick, Eliminates DDP and Dango.
Missle dropkick by bryan, then the flash kicks but then Bryan is eliminated! AND THE CROWD GOES SOUR!
NUMBERS 16 GOLDUST AND 17 KOFI KINGSTON AND HERE'S THE BACKLASH FROM THE FANS!
Number 18: ADAM ROSE
Kofi is caught by the rosebuds for this years stunt but both he and rose are eliminated. well, so much for that!
NUMBER 19: BLOWMAN REIGNS TO DEAFENING BOOS!
Both Woadth Bwodderth are eliminated
NUMBER 20: BIG E MORE BACKLASH
Belly to belly by rusev on the fresh POODAY1 Member, then a cannonball that Dave The Bastard will be proud of!
NUMBER 21: SANDOW: BUT G.F.M.T.V! TRIES TO STEAL HIS SPOT AND SANDOW TURNS FACE!
...but he's quickly eliminated and the backlash continues!
NUMBER 22: JACK SWAGGER
Swaggerbomb on POOSEV!
number 23: STEROID BACK!
Spinebuster and Meat hook
NEXT CONTESTANTS-KANE, AMBROSE-O'NEIL( WHO GETS ELIMINATED AFTER 4 SECONDS!)-BARRETT AND CESARO!
BIG E is eliminated
NUMBER 29: BIG SHITE!
Chokeslam on ryback who is then Eliminated
NUMBER 30: DOLPH ZIGGLER AND THE BACKLASH STOPS!
FINAL ELIMINATIONS:
CESERO:
ZIGGLER(Who was unceremoniously thrown out by both Slow and Kane!
BRAY WYATT
FINAL 5 Ambrose, Reigns, Rusev, big show, and Kane
and with the TITTY MASTER! Gone, it's either Reigns or the authority, It was always going to end this way, AS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION!
WINNER: REIGNS! NOT THAT YOU'D GUESS BY THE BACKLASH! Kane and Show attack only for the Rock to show up-and they are doing it!-they are using a famous family member to give rub to Roman-and it doesn't work! as soon as the rock leaves, the crowd start baying for blood!

So here is the Main event for Wrestlemania PLAYBUTTON!
BROCK LESNER VS BLOWman Reigns!

Join me next week for BESTLEMANIA/WORSTLEMANIA 1-5

ROYAL RUMBLE 2015 Predictions

Last Wednesday, was tna's "first" show of the year. This Sunday the WWE Shows Dixie, Y'ALL! how it's done!

(All Matches in Descending Title Importance)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
JOHN FUCKING CENA VS BROCK THE FUCKING SELLOUT! VS CATWOMAN SETH ROLLINS!

I must point out that Rollins has NOT! I repeat HAS NOT!, Cashed in this money in the bank briefcase! I think my shenanigans smelling glands are starting to pre-empt themselves!
WINNER: CENA OR LESNER TO BEGIN WITH, BUT ROLLIN'S TO CASH IN TO CAUSE A SCREWY FINISH!

THE INTERCONTINENTAL AND US CHAMPIONS ARE CONFRIRMED FOR THE REAL MAIN EVENT-THE 30 MAN ROYAL RUMBLE!

By now you've heard that rather than have them appear and get huge pops on Sunday is that Dolph Ziggler, Steroid Back, and  GROOT  Erick Rowan are reinstated and on smackdown ,*SPOILER* All 3 had to qualifiy for spots! Ziggler and rybitch qualified, Rowan Didn't!

Here is the list of those who announced their involvement in the match

• Intercontinental Champion-Bad News Barrett
• US Champion Alexander POO-SEV!
• Roman Reigns
• Daniel Bryan
• Bray Wyatt
• Dean Ambrose
• GOBSHITE FROM MTV!
• Damien GOBSHITEDOW!
• Goldust
• TIM CURRY Stardust
• BIG SHITE!
• THE BIG RED DISSAPOINTMENT!
• R-Truth
• Justin Gabriel
• El Latino Sterotypico Uno
• El Latino Sterotypico Dos
• FandanGOBSHITE!
• Kofi Kingston
• Big E
• Xavier Woods

But what about the surprise Entrants well here's a few thoughts:

• Sting
• Zack Ryder
• Adrian Nevelle/Sami Zayn/Tyler Breeze or any of those 2-all 3 is unlikely but not impossible
• Kevin Nash
• the Rumble is in Philley, maybe an ECW Original!
• As of right now, Lame-Arse and Zack Ryder are off the injured list.

WINNER: Bryan, Roman or Ziggler! Infact they may be the final 3!

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE BOOSUCKS(C) VS GOBSHITE FROM MTV! AND DAMIEN GOBSHITEDOW!
Before I have all you marks say something stupid like "But Eamonn, Miz did Sandow A favour and Him over with the crowd" no, cashing in the money the bank on Golden and out-wrestling him in the match of his career got him over with the crowd, then Cena got all ARSEHURT! and complained, using his stroke as champion to demote sandow and put in development hell with the only guy worse than him, the Gobshite from MTV PRETENDING TO BE A WRESTLER! Anyway the rifts are being to show and since they are booked into the royal rumble expect the team to last until Miz throws Sandow over the Ropes in the Man Event
WINNER: WHO CARES? SHIT ON MIZ, SHIT ON THE BOO-SUCKS! AND SHIT ON CREATIVE WHO THINKS TOTAL DIVAS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE TAG BELTS!

DIVAS TAG MATCH!
BELLA SKANKS VS PAIGE AND NATAYLA!
SPEAKING OF TOTAL DIVAS...AND SHIT!
My,my!
Someone borrowed Hunt-uhs Copy of HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE!...BY FUCKING 'EM! As Nikki has the divas title, her now non-identical twin, and it's not for the title! Your have learn well, my Skanky Padawan!
Winner, Who cares when your on top?....OF JOHN CENA!

Some how this is the kick-off match! and not in the actual show
POO-DAY (big e/Kingston/woods vs TEAM VINCE SAYS GO BACK TO CANADA, SWITZERLAND, AND SOUTH AFRICA AND MAKE POUTEEN, WINE AND CHOCOLATES! (Kidd/Rose/Cesaro)

I don't know what's worse, the fact these 6 are in a match, no-one will see or the fact that the next match made it on to the show....

THE ASCENSION VS THE OLD AGED OUTLAWS!
(FACEPALM)
WINNERS: PRAY FOR CESARO'S CAREAR!

Anyway, results will be up on Monday morning after 11amGMT!
SEE YOU THEN!

IMPACT WRESTLING PRESENTS: TNA: TURNING POINT-NEW YEAR! NEW LOGO! NEW TV DEAL! SAME OLD SHIT!

This is the 1st tna of the year, Right?
WRONG! THIS WAS PRE-RECORDED IN FUCKING SEPTEMBER OF LAST YEAR!

Ok, lets get this over and done with!

Kenny King put a good showing against his now stable-mate in DA BEAT-DOWN CRU, YO!, Samoa Joe, King must be happy about this because he'll have his ass kicked by a different heel at every One Night Only event from now on!

They mixed up the tired Maddie vs Gail match we ALWAYS get at One Night Only, so Angelina Love was added to the mix-Despite getting a Better than Divas chant, I found it to be blasé.

In a real shocker, Sanada defeated Austin Aries, but with a little help from James Storm.

Now for the huge chunk of Discontinuity. As Mockstar Dud and Ethan MidCarder teamed up despite current storylines! The Guy who can't wrestle a lick, Pulled an Orton ie, Didn't want to job on television and threw his toys out of the pram, Allowing Gunner and Anderson the win. and for The TURD! to claim to be undefeated, except he isn't!

In the match we could and deserved to get if they Built up Eric vs Magnus, We got it...Except on a show that no one will remember in a year's time. Also we had an ad-break in between Young's 5 moves of Doom...Was that really necessary?, Challenge?

Finally Monster's Ball between FLAByss and Bram was dull! how do you make a hardcore match dull? oh yeah, I know by Booking 1 at every One Night Only!

Storm and Roode was Dull too! Storm won!

But the main event was good. Mainly because it wasn't a rehashed match from last year. MVP Made Bones Crack and Talked Smack as he faced Jeff Hardy. But Hardy won out in a back and forth match. Skip the rest just watch this match.

Please follow me on Twitter @RealEnli

THE FLIPPIES 2014

It was the year that was in 2014. a year that both major companies failed to deliver to British Fans. Whilst 1 chairperson put his ego at the door and let the future stars put on a ppv that put TLCS To shame, Dixie left her Brain at hers and systematically annoyed everyone with her delusions of grandeur, getting so bad that male-on-female violence seemed-and became-the most feasible option!

THE DISCO STU AWARD FOR DEBUT OF THE YEAR!
ALEXANDER RUSEV AND LANA (I LOVE ME SOME BOLSHEVIK BE-DONKEY-DONK! AND SO DOES HE!)

Ok, I call him Poosev, Ok and Vince's geo-political atlas is off by 30 years. Ok, he's Bulgarian, and she's American with a Latvian Mother, Ok, her accent slips everytime she says "Shut up"-But dear god, something must be going right for them, as he's still undefeated!

MARGE VS VOILENT TELEVISION AWARD FOR FUNNIEST MOMENT
JINGLE ALL THE WAY TW...FUCK OFF!
YA DAFTY!
IF CAN ONLY BAE T'EXISTANCE O'GRADO, YER DANCER!
British boot camp was a TNA show exclusive to fans on this side of the pond, and while this was your average fly-on-the-wall show, it elevated thanks to 1 man-a Scottish comedy wrestler, by the name of Grado. Despite run-ins with Al Snow, which ultimately lead to his elimination, it only served to make him more popular, his entrances are the most viewed wrestling videos ever-anyone that can make Scottish people sing THIS song is a legend!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4oTY51ekcE

MAUD'S FUNERAL FOR THE SADDEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR
THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR'S ULTIMATE END
It could have being, and had the makings of a happy ending.
After years of conflict, accusations and backstabbing, The Ultimate Warrior finally was inducted into the Hall of Fame. The next Night, a tired and Heavily Breathing Jim Hellwig got in the ring and cut a poignant promo.
It's almost like he knew!
That Tuesday morning after watching it live, I woke to the shocking news, Jim Hellwig had died of Heat Exhaustion after leaving raw!

THE HER ASHES STOPPED THE MISSLE LAUNCH AWARD FOR (EXIT OF THE YEAR)
STREAK BROKEN. LEGACY: STILL INTACT!
No doubt the most shocking moment of the year, was the Breaking of the 21 year undefeated streak by the undertaker at the hands of Brock Lesner. to say that there was a backlash was an understatement. this opened the floodgates to the state WWE is in now, the fact that Brock is the defending WWE champion whenever he needs a new rotor for this helicopter!

THE MY PLANET NEEDS ME AWARD FOR THE EXIT THAT MADE US SAY "GOOD RIDDANCE!"
DIXIE GOES THROUGH A TABLE-MALE ON FEMALE VIOLENCE HAS NEVER BEING SO SATISFYING!
Dixie carter has always being the butt of jokes, ever since making tna founder choice between his company and women is (reportedly) loves. Ever since the whole debacle of 10.10.10 where Hogan and Bischoff showed their true colours despite warnings (cryptic or otherwise) from sting, this year Dixie y'all really dug her a fresh hole by rehiring Vince Russo without telling Spike TV reps-who unlike Dixie remembered the dip in quality when they had wcw on their network, took their ball and ran. But not before making bad decisions that showed their emptying of Impact's kitty-namely not renewing key wrestler contracts, downgrading Lethal Lockdown to just a cage match with no roof full of weapons. Pre-recording ppvs without the consequences of continuity, and pushing her rumoured lover, SHAG-NUS into the world title-which lead to SHOWTIME Part-time Eric Young getting the title, copying Daniel Bryan's win, with no build-up whatsoever. Eventually Dixie made the show completely unwatchable when she had the mic, as this 40 year old woman- with the cadence of an 8 year old got what she deserved, no matter how overboard it might have being!

THE 138TH (MATCH OF THE YEAR)
NEVILLE/ZAYN AT NXT TAKEOVER: I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE AND IT WORKS!
If last month's NXT 3rd ever PPV was the yellow brand's crowning Moment, then this match was the Jewel in said crown! for over half an hour, 2 international level superstars gave the world (and Britain 3 days later!) a last minute addition to my considerations for this award! Sami Zayn may won on his road to redemption, but Kevin Owens turned him into Roadkill, in a superb ending a top-notch show!

WORST! EPISODE! EVER!
SING A SAD SONG OF SANDOW!
While it felt like forever, only last year Damien Sandow was holder of the money in the bank case. Where he made the mistake that cost him all credibility: Challenging John Cena and Newly Winning! This caused Sandow to drop a pipe-bomb in subsequent week deriding creative for treating him like a 2good little soldier" and where did that get him?

Wearing Costumes for jokes only Yanks Got and losing to Adam Rose on a tri-weekly basis!

But it can't get worse, right?

If you an a GOBSHITE FROM MTV! Off course it's gonna get worse!

THE POOCHIE AWARD FOR IDIOT OF THE YEAR
ETHAN MIDCARDER THE TURD-FOR INSTANT HEEL HEAT, JUST ADD LAST NAME!
Last year when I made my considerations for Flippies, like most writers I started in October so it'll be on the shelf, as it were by January. So I paid no real never mind to the former Derrick Bateman struggling to beat a jobber for 10 minutes at last years bound for glory. In the next 12 months, however, it was painfully obvious why he was released before ever reaching the main roster-Carter is academic at best, I've said it before that his moveset is like a computer games default setting in Create-A-Wrestler, plus if you are building him up as a monster heel, don't have every heel on the roster hold the Babba's hand and let him win cleanly in less than 20 minutes!

THE MARGE FOR BEST FEMALE
SASHA BANKS
CALL HER A TERRIBLE HEEL TURN. CALL HER A RATCHET. CALL HER OUT ON BEING JUST THEIR BECAUSE SHE'S SNOOP'S COUSIN. BUT VERY SOON, YOU JUST MAY CALL HER NXT WOMEN'S CHAMPION!
When I first saw Sasha I thought "oh here we go!" and I wasn't the only 1! the slender, smiling, hi-5ing blonde and light-skinned and honey brunette had people questioning her ethnicity, let alone her talent. But if you can't make it as a face, a heel turn is the perfect tonic to make you grow a personality, and yes "The hypnotising Heel-Turn Makeup Mirror" has become a mini meme on ChiliWrestlers, But her showing at R:evolution was a revelation! 2015 could be her year "Bank" on it!

THE BELLA AWARD FOR WORST FEMALE GOES BACK TO THEIR NAMESAKES!
I WISHE YOU BOTH DIED IN THE WOMB1
THE BEELAS DIDN'T KNOW HOOTERS WAS REHIRING-BUT I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE!

THE HOMER FOR BEST WRESTLER
JOHN CENA
*ECHOES OF SPAT DRINKS ACROSS THE IWC*
Yes I, Eamonn Bermingham, the Biggest Cena Hater from the cobbled streets of  Enniscorthy, Ireland is making SuperCena the winner. Because I'd rather have a jackass as champion who's here every week than the Jackass who's only here for a paycheck!