I hope you enjoyed my gameshow theme month, Infact I've enjoyed myself in the making of this years theme month. And considering how I ended my reviews of WWE and Impact-I bloody well needed that!
However, what happens when you actually do something next to impossible-make a bad gameshow.
NUMBER 5
TIPPING POINT
a daytime quiz combined with a coin pusher-Played by the kind of idiot who think they can win big on coin-pushers!
NUMBER 4
JADE GOODY ON EGGHEADS
Eggheads is a gameshow on BBC2'S graveyard shift. a team of 5 must knock out each of the Eggheads-British most winningnist and prolific quiz winners. Not Good, but not Terrible either...
Until Big Brother racist Jade Goody trying to save face headed a team with all Asian girls.
THE END GAME WAS A 5-1 WHITEWASH! (PUN INTENDED!)
Imagine the ride home!
-Me Jade Goody thoughts Asians woz smarter than Whiteys!
-Well, now you're just being Racist!
NUMBER 3
SKATOONY (COULDN'T FIND THE BRITISH VERSION-AND DISNEY HAS RIGHTS TO TOTAL DRAMA IN BRITIAN-SO MY VERSION HAS THEIR CHARECTORS COMPLETLY CHANGED!)
Ladies and gentleman of America-this is what Britain has instead of [adult swim]!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O26Z1lxrl8k
Just look at the terrible quality and stilted acting from the Child actors. Even the Actual child who "goes through" is stupid. But look at the cartoon characters animation-3 mouth sizes on 2 frames.
I Bet Scott Fellows is looking at this going "Wow this is Quality!"
NUMBER 2
DEAL OR NO DEAL
Or "Win Or Still Win!" as I call it!
NUMBER 1
RED OR BLACK
A testament that Simon cowell makes too much money, he wants anyone to have it-even without talent! A 100 people are shown events that have 2 outcomes and each must beat. the last 1 person win a chance to win a Million-Not a Million A CHANCE TO WIN.
The first guy to win was a convinced Women-Beater!
SMOOTH MOVE, HIGH-TROUSERS!
Monday, November 17, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
STARTER FOR TEN: HOME VERSIONS: 10 MORE OBSURE GAMESHOWS YOU NEVER HEARD OF!
As expected I'm getting some backlash from people on this side of the Atlantic about putting nothing but American shows in part 1...Even though I only grew up on ,remembered, and talked in length about the British (and Irish) versions!
GUYS!GUYS! DON'T GO ALL DOUCHEY MCNITPICK ON ME! I SAID I WAS WORKING ON A PART 2!
So I devised this, a list of games shows that didn't make the first list because of it's limited syndication. we are going on ride to Japan, to Britain, to my childhood and or 1st stop is India!
NUMBER 10
DARE TO DANCE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tw98guYyIo
Fresh and new (as of time of writing, 1/12/14-the Live Final was shown yesterday!) a new concept from India. 11 Professional dancers (9 Indian, 1 British, and 1 French) all of different styles, are flown to south Africa, to Perform daring dances in extreme and dangerous conditions, Described by Host, Bollywood star Askshay Kumar as "A dance version of Enter the Dragon", and aided by his regular director and choreographer, here's hoping this show gets picked up internationally. Sadly Star Life Ok, doesn't do English subtitles on its web channel, but you can agree that the clip above is very exciting.
NUMBER 9
THE LIE!
Speaking of pickups this Irish gameshow has already being picked up by STV, but should picked by the rest of ITV. A show that took multiple choice and put it on it's head....you are seeking the wrong answer! it's low on this list as the loss/win ratio is very high! not just because the questions are hard, but because the people on it are fucking thick!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6c571VEbxM
NUMBER 8
TAKESHI'S CASTLE (ENGLISH DUB)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bTHneNoAFI
So imagine the scene...Challenge has just made the transition from a sitcom channel to a gameshow channel. As well Repeats they will also show, a long forgotten Japanese gameshow from the late 80's and early 90's, but there is a problem. The editors have removed all the incidental clips and scenes that explained the show, and they have completely spliced the order of the show, showing eliminated contestants going through to the "next" round. so they did what they could and hired someone quick witted to untangle this woolly ball of confusion Craig "Dave Lister" Charles!
NUMBER 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9eZ6hm58ic
This show should be picked up by America it's so much fun.
What can only be described as Family Fortunes/feud in reserve contestants must find the answer that scored the least in the survey by 100 people. but the aim is to find the right answer that no-one said-the Pointless answer!-this adds £500 to the cashpot. Plus 1 thing I love is the wrong answer sound effect it's the same sound I make when I hear stupid people!
NUMBER 6
THE CUBE
Hosted by Philip Scolfield (Who's only claim to fame outside of Britain is being Punched in the face by Leonard Nimoy!), the cube is a high tech, high risk gameshow where contestants are put through different challenges. While the studio is high tech, the games, decidedly (or deliberately!) are not! Making a bankshot, walking blindfolded in a straight line, all of these and others are things you can't do right once without practice! Unlike Millionaire, with its automatic lifelines, players must EARN their 2 lifelines, Trail Run a free shot at a game without losing a life, and the self-explanatory Simplify which is a crap-shot! the 1st person to beat the game was British Olympian, Mo Farrah. Take a look!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiUjhI4VAQc
NUMBER 5
SUPERMARKET SWEEP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FESeyvQHjTQ
Back When Jeremy Kyle was only belittling chavs on Manchester Radio, When 9:30 came around, ITV had gameshows! and we had great Gameshows that made me pull sickies as much I as could, Word Chain, Win Lose or Draw, BlockBusters, but only 1 show got a revival despite the fact the host didn't die!
In a studio reconstructed to look like a supermarket (down to real food-Supermarket brand-of course!) 3 teams of 2 took turns in answering puzzlebook style food trivia games to clock up time on their clock for the second halves trolley dash. whoever got the most costly shopping (though bonuses helped the cause!) the winning team entered the SuperSweep EndGame, a treasure hunt for a grand.
NUMBER 4
FUN HOUSE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAA8WK_inOI
By now I've Made Every Brit and Irish Over the age of 16 go absolutely insane!
2 Teams of 2 compete in random gungy games (with no game ever repeated! it must have cost the STV prop guys 1000's) Then answer a question related to the game played, then have a go-kart replay race and if that doesn't appeal to a child the winning team gets to play and win prizes in the Fun House a fair attraction on steroids!
NUMBER3
THE CRYSTAL MAZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXVpZZTVEow
Mystery.
Challenges.
Riddles.
Treasure.
TIME TRAVEL!
...In a Gameshow?
Presented by Richard O'Brien and later by fellow eccentric Ed Tudor-Pole, Our Host guided a team of six through timezones (Aztec, Medieval, Futuristic, Industrial/Ocean) compete in loosing crystals from puzzles that require either skill, physicality, lateral thinking or general knowledge to be successful. each Crystal grants 5 seconds in the Crystal dome, a sealed fan room where the team had to collected 100 gold tokens with a forfeit of 1 for every silver token they collected. an almost impossible task!
But What is better that going on a pretend adventure?
-GOING ON A REAL ONE, OF COURSE!
NUMBER 2
FORT BOYARD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-VOSZ9qXGc
"In the Atlantic Ocean...
Miles from Mainland Europe,
Nothing but Water in All Directions,
Stands a Napoleonic Fortress-Fort Boyard
Behind each door challenges that will test the team's courage
Before their final challenge solving a riddle to gain the password
to a prize like no other...
Gold Coins guards by Tigers!
With an Intro like that, how could I not Put it on my list?
With the English version hosted by Jenny Falconer and later Melinda Messenger, and antagonized by "Boyard" (Chris Ellison and Later Leslie Grantham), the first hour was gaining the keys to open the treasure room, loose the key challenge and you loose your spot to spell out the password. the second halve was riddles to discover the identity of the word, this was my favourite bit as 1) there is no better joy for a fat nerd teenager than seeing PE teachers squirm answering children's riddles and 2) the 1st 2 series had them asked by TOM FUCKING BAKER!
AND The Gameshow that has topped my list, INNNNNNNNNNN ONE!
BULLSEYE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhiHmQfF_aE
Catapulted in television, Jim Bowen hosted the quiz/darts combo. 3 teams of 2-1 Quizzer and 1 darts player worked to together to gain money. the game Circa after series 2 went like this
Well that's it I hope you enjoyed the clips of these shows, wherever you're from or just feeling nostaligic...for the next time we meet, I'll be listing 5 of the worst gameshow moments ever!
GUYS!GUYS! DON'T GO ALL DOUCHEY MCNITPICK ON ME! I SAID I WAS WORKING ON A PART 2!
So I devised this, a list of games shows that didn't make the first list because of it's limited syndication. we are going on ride to Japan, to Britain, to my childhood and or 1st stop is India!
NUMBER 10
DARE TO DANCE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tw98guYyIo
Fresh and new (as of time of writing, 1/12/14-the Live Final was shown yesterday!) a new concept from India. 11 Professional dancers (9 Indian, 1 British, and 1 French) all of different styles, are flown to south Africa, to Perform daring dances in extreme and dangerous conditions, Described by Host, Bollywood star Askshay Kumar as "A dance version of Enter the Dragon", and aided by his regular director and choreographer, here's hoping this show gets picked up internationally. Sadly Star Life Ok, doesn't do English subtitles on its web channel, but you can agree that the clip above is very exciting.
NUMBER 9
THE LIE!
Speaking of pickups this Irish gameshow has already being picked up by STV, but should picked by the rest of ITV. A show that took multiple choice and put it on it's head....you are seeking the wrong answer! it's low on this list as the loss/win ratio is very high! not just because the questions are hard, but because the people on it are fucking thick!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6c571VEbxM
NUMBER 8
TAKESHI'S CASTLE (ENGLISH DUB)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bTHneNoAFI
So imagine the scene...Challenge has just made the transition from a sitcom channel to a gameshow channel. As well Repeats they will also show, a long forgotten Japanese gameshow from the late 80's and early 90's, but there is a problem. The editors have removed all the incidental clips and scenes that explained the show, and they have completely spliced the order of the show, showing eliminated contestants going through to the "next" round. so they did what they could and hired someone quick witted to untangle this woolly ball of confusion Craig "Dave Lister" Charles!
NUMBER 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9eZ6hm58ic
This show should be picked up by America it's so much fun.
What can only be described as Family Fortunes/feud in reserve contestants must find the answer that scored the least in the survey by 100 people. but the aim is to find the right answer that no-one said-the Pointless answer!-this adds £500 to the cashpot. Plus 1 thing I love is the wrong answer sound effect it's the same sound I make when I hear stupid people!
NUMBER 6
THE CUBE
Hosted by Philip Scolfield (Who's only claim to fame outside of Britain is being Punched in the face by Leonard Nimoy!), the cube is a high tech, high risk gameshow where contestants are put through different challenges. While the studio is high tech, the games, decidedly (or deliberately!) are not! Making a bankshot, walking blindfolded in a straight line, all of these and others are things you can't do right once without practice! Unlike Millionaire, with its automatic lifelines, players must EARN their 2 lifelines, Trail Run a free shot at a game without losing a life, and the self-explanatory Simplify which is a crap-shot! the 1st person to beat the game was British Olympian, Mo Farrah. Take a look!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiUjhI4VAQc
NUMBER 5
SUPERMARKET SWEEP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FESeyvQHjTQ
Back When Jeremy Kyle was only belittling chavs on Manchester Radio, When 9:30 came around, ITV had gameshows! and we had great Gameshows that made me pull sickies as much I as could, Word Chain, Win Lose or Draw, BlockBusters, but only 1 show got a revival despite the fact the host didn't die!
In a studio reconstructed to look like a supermarket (down to real food-Supermarket brand-of course!) 3 teams of 2 took turns in answering puzzlebook style food trivia games to clock up time on their clock for the second halves trolley dash. whoever got the most costly shopping (though bonuses helped the cause!) the winning team entered the SuperSweep EndGame, a treasure hunt for a grand.
NUMBER 4
FUN HOUSE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAA8WK_inOI
By now I've Made Every Brit and Irish Over the age of 16 go absolutely insane!
2 Teams of 2 compete in random gungy games (with no game ever repeated! it must have cost the STV prop guys 1000's) Then answer a question related to the game played, then have a go-kart replay race and if that doesn't appeal to a child the winning team gets to play and win prizes in the Fun House a fair attraction on steroids!
NUMBER3
THE CRYSTAL MAZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXVpZZTVEow
Mystery.
Challenges.
Riddles.
Treasure.
TIME TRAVEL!
...In a Gameshow?
Presented by Richard O'Brien and later by fellow eccentric Ed Tudor-Pole, Our Host guided a team of six through timezones (Aztec, Medieval, Futuristic, Industrial/Ocean) compete in loosing crystals from puzzles that require either skill, physicality, lateral thinking or general knowledge to be successful. each Crystal grants 5 seconds in the Crystal dome, a sealed fan room where the team had to collected 100 gold tokens with a forfeit of 1 for every silver token they collected. an almost impossible task!
But What is better that going on a pretend adventure?
-GOING ON A REAL ONE, OF COURSE!
NUMBER 2
FORT BOYARD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-VOSZ9qXGc
"In the Atlantic Ocean...
Miles from Mainland Europe,
Nothing but Water in All Directions,
Stands a Napoleonic Fortress-Fort Boyard
Behind each door challenges that will test the team's courage
Before their final challenge solving a riddle to gain the password
to a prize like no other...
Gold Coins guards by Tigers!
With an Intro like that, how could I not Put it on my list?
With the English version hosted by Jenny Falconer and later Melinda Messenger, and antagonized by "Boyard" (Chris Ellison and Later Leslie Grantham), the first hour was gaining the keys to open the treasure room, loose the key challenge and you loose your spot to spell out the password. the second halve was riddles to discover the identity of the word, this was my favourite bit as 1) there is no better joy for a fat nerd teenager than seeing PE teachers squirm answering children's riddles and 2) the 1st 2 series had them asked by TOM FUCKING BAKER!
AND The Gameshow that has topped my list, INNNNNNNNNNN ONE!
BULLSEYE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhiHmQfF_aE
Catapulted in television, Jim Bowen hosted the quiz/darts combo. 3 teams of 2-1 Quizzer and 1 darts player worked to together to gain money. the game Circa after series 2 went like this
- Round 1-Catergory Round-the dart had to through darts at a subject chosen by the quizzer. Each Subject picked was locked out making the round increasingly harder.
- Round 2-Official Match play Board- A "points for Pounds" round where the darts players played an official leg of darts-the winning team got an extra 50 points if the question given by Jim was answered correctly
- After the Break was the Bronze Bully, A professional player threw a set of darts, each point was a pound and the total was given to the winning teams charity of choice.
- This led to the Endgame-the Prize board, the iconic red and black dartboard with 9 prize in each red section and the bull, which was a top prize! With the prizes won the team had choice-taking the money and prizes or gamble them all for final game, 101 points or more on the matchplay board, but the non-darts player went first, adding risk and reward in an otherwise whimsical show.
Well that's it I hope you enjoyed the clips of these shows, wherever you're from or just feeling nostaligic...for the next time we meet, I'll be listing 5 of the worst gameshow moments ever!
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