hopefully this is the final card for payback!

this Sunday is Payback in Chicago. Not that wwe seems too bothered by it.

THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP STRIPPING CEROMONY
This is a first, as Daniel Bryan injured last month with a neck injury has returned. But Neck Injury is very touch-and-go. Austin suffered a neck injury in 97, and it never really healed. But that's what happens when you book Kane! The Walking Depush can only hurt wrestlers, physically and Professionally! And those saying Brie will turn Heel on Bryan in act of ungratefulness, FUCKING LEAVE NOW!

1. They are really married, this is not done for storyline.
2. Fans are (for the most part anyway) smarter to fall for that shit and
3. Twin wrestlers are a package deal. and while Brie's sudden change of diet and Nikki's ahem-presents for Johnny Boy- don't make them identical any more, the gimmick of twin wrestlers are vital to their professional survival-EVEN IF ONE OF THEM IS FUCKING THE COMPANY'S FRANCHISE WRESTLER!

So I believe the title will be held up until Mitb, where a separate ladder match will be for the title and another for the Mitb Proper. And if wwe is smart, the winner of the briefcase should face the title winner that night. But I'm going ahead of myself.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

BAD NEWS BARRETT(C) VS ROB VAN DAM.

Unless they plan to mug the belt and give it to some Authority Bootlicker, this will be the main event! at the cusp of having a great match with Sheamus this week on Smackdown, The Bearer of Bad news will face the whole F-N' Show! Barrett is too much on a tear like he always is post European tour. Consider Van Dam to go on a bad trip, courtesy of the Bullhammer.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP

Lame-Arse vs CESARO

Cesaro naturally has being on a tear since winning the Andre, and the greats gravitate towards the would-be greats. While Cesaro may not fully trust Paul Heyman, he wants to get to the top. without any shortcuts....Which why is probably challenging Triple H's Laundry-Boy in the first place!

DIVA'S CHAMPIONSHIP

Look like being A Brown Tonguer knows no gender, as Triple H is "very high" on Alicia Fox. Very High is how would describe Alicia as well!

6 MAN ELIMINATION MATCH
SHIELD VS EVOLUTION
By now you would have see the scans of next months wwe magazine, where Dean Ambrose referred to his shield teammates as "former partners", While this was probably a mistake as plans where to split them up earlier this year fell through, they wouldn't have not corrected it if wasn't true.

RUSEV VS BIG E
"First we Crush Big E....Then we kill Moose and Squirrel!...IT'S ALWAYS MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!

BRAY WYATT LOSES TO... I MEAN VERSUS-JOHN CENA
The last man standing match is Johnny boys speciality. He won't job in 1. Well, he doesn't Job, period but you know what I mean!

HAIR VS MASK MIDGET MATCH ON PRE-SHOW
HORNSWOGGLE VS EL TORIT-OHGODMAKEITSTOPMAKEITFUCKINGSTOP!

With only a paltry 5 matches, expect last minute additions on the night, mostly like the Wyatt Family vs the BOO-SUCKS!

Eamonn tastes Magnum 25 and Cornetto Choc-n-Ball

This February I celebrated 6 years of being Your Enlightened, but I feel like celebrating still! Now, I don't drink but usually to celebrate milestones people drink champagne. Also celebrating a significant milestone is milestone is the ice-cream brand Magnum, 25 years ago, the Finnish company under the heartbeart name, Frisko, invented Magnum, an oversized take on the humble choc ice-Millions of pops and 25 years later, we have come to this point as Heartbeat's world wide companies have distributed Magnum 25, a silver pop for a silver anniversary

MAGNUM 25
FLAVOUR: Vanilla rippled with Champagne flavoured Sauce covered in a double milk chocolate Coat that is subsequently Covered in Silver Food Colouring.
WRAPPING: Foil silver With Magnum Logo altered to incorporate the number "25"
TASTE:OW, MY RETINAS! perhaps reviewing this shiny object at 7pm was a bad idea! Initial bite and the 2 layers of chocolate has a nice thickness, the silver coat adds nothing to the flavour. The ice-cream inside is a little bit  too soft so with some haste a devoured it. the champagne ripples added a something extra to the ice-cream.

And as this was a little short, as a bonus I have an extra Ice-cream to review.
CORNETTO CHOCO-N-BALL
FLAVOUR: Vanilla ice-cream specked with chocolate pieces served in cone and the head of cone covered in milk chocolate with almond pieces.
Wrapping: Red and Yellow gradient with  photo of product wearing cartoon headphones. a bite has being taking out to make the product look like it's smiling
TASTE: because of the oversized head, the product is sold in a wrapper rather than it covered and ready to eat, maybe angering some cornetto Aficionados. Now to the taste, thinly spread chocolate exposes white viens of vanilla, Using my mouth to crack these leylines on the chocolate surface, I'm met with more chocolate only this times as debris of almonds and chocolate specks. And that's it really. It's a far cry from HB Re-Releasing Magnum Cone, but it's a start!

AN IDIOT WITH NO CONCEPT ON HOW CONTINUITY WORKS PRESENTS: TNA JOKER'S WILD: HOMEGROWN SPUD

Tonight it's continuity errors a-go-go as a show filmed in January, with people who have since being fired or turned alignment, Is presented like it's a fresh new show for May!

For those unfamiliar with this event, all matches are tag matches with mystery partners drew at random. (I must add that the tombola used gains more papers as the matches go on, breaking the illusion that the draw is rigged.) the winners of each match goes into a gauntlet for $10,000. What they don't no is that it's the Universal Studio theme park dollars!

First Match saw this British crowd divided as the British invasion was reunited against the now fired Chris Sabin and Gunner. The crowd chanted you sold out at Shag-nus! (at time of filming, Magnus just won the World's championship. No mention of any belts were made this night). After defeating this make-shift them that didn't get along (expect to read that A LOT in this post). The B.I fell out when Magnus exclaimed to be better than Doug ever was.

Next Was Jersey Whore-Robbie E tagging with the recently released Chris Daniels to perform job duty to Samoa Joe and German Wrestler Bad Bones. Bones looks the part of a old school European wrestler and impressed me on this pppv debut.

3 match was the hometown Kid- ROD STEWART Rockstar Spud teaming with Bully Ray vs Austin Aries and Mr Anderson. This was a comedy match-pure and simple, but somehow, Spud and Bully pulled it off, leaving Austin who was pinned, Laughing his head of at the antics.

4 match was a tag team Dream match. THE WOLVES VS BEER MONEY! Roode and storm, the two erstwhile rival put it to one side to recapture the magic they had when they formed under similar circumstances 4-years ago! Despite feeling the momentum some wounds healing. the wolves won in this tag clinic

Tag clinic.... Is not how I would call the last 3 matches!

Kaz and curryman (which means Daniels pulled double duty) and Eric young and Ethan Mid-Carder the TURD! had a comedy match (and I use that term loosely) where the faces didn't want to team with their heel partners. Once again Mid-Carder used cheating to win. Ok he's a heel I get it! but if you want to build this prick to be the guy to take the belt from E.Y., You must book him to win a match cleanly or you'll just have another paper champion.

The last match gave us a possible glimpse into the future as Samuel "the creepy Bastard" Shaw and abyss teamed Against Zima Ion and GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER! This show was filmed a fortnight after Jesse Godderz jobbed to a microphone (See my review of Hardcore Justice to get the joke!), so he was at that level of shite at time of filming! Godderz Jobbed as Shaw put on the Chloroform.

The next match was a tag team knockouts match, with the now recently fired Lei'D Tapa, who was alledgedly fired for having a bad attitude, and it shows in her ring-work and it's that reason I called her "Lady Crapper" because no-one else is as crap as her!

Finally, Ethan Mid-Carter won back the money Aunty D put up in the battle-royal, Now they can pay for luxuries like toilet paper and that there running water, y'all!

Well that's it!
Join me tomorrow when i'll be reviewing Ice-cream for a change!

Summer Schedule 2014

I'm back a day after my dental surgery and I'm feeling a lot better. Now to continue as we mean to go on. Here's my schedule for the summer months on Enlightened Towers' two blogs.

THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE SCHEDULE FOR SUMMER
(All posts are likely to change or others added on without notice.)

• Next Thursday: Tna One Night Only: Joker's Wild UK
• Next week: Eamonn Tastes Magnum 25 and cornetto Chocoball
• June: Guaranteed! I will review Payback
• June: Money in the bank
• June: Slammerversey: Dixie's Reign of Terror is Over! Let MVP's Reign Of Terror Begin!
• End of June or when available: Absence makes the Heart Ha'ver for Taters: Walkers Limited Edition Taste Test 2014
• August: Summerslam

BOGGER BOX OFFICE SCHEDULE
Right now all your Page views are being tallied to determine the ending to this year's Ticket to Hell. but did you know you can vote on twitter? Read part 2 of My Silent Hill revelation review at bogger box office for details. Voting closes the last Friday of may

• Last Monday of May-the Official Ending to the Ticket to Hell: DamNation.
• Last Tuesday of  May-The Alternate endings to Ticket To Hell:DamNation.

This June I will be nearly at a milestone that seemed impossible when I started Bogger box office: A 100th episode! so This June my new storyline isn't even a storyline! It's the ROAD TO ONE HUNDRED!

• June-Eamonn reviews Hobo with a Shotgun
• July-Eamonn reviews Arthur's Great Adventure
• August-Eamonn and 80's Lad Ogle at Piranha DD

For what it's worth, I have all the  films I will reviewed purchased for this years reviews. But I will reveal them in time.
Thank you .
That is all for now.
Eamonn.

The worst Master of Disguise Since Pistachio Disguisey presents:TNA: SACRIFECALMATTER quickie

People always ask me 1 question. And that 1 question is "Eamonn, why do you only quickie synopsis Of Tna shows and only go into detail for WWE Shows?".

Well that's simple! as Tna despite being owned by the same company that can show WWE shows live, opt to show Tna shows 3 days later in Ireland, by then more reliable.(ie American) sites can report on it live, While muggins like us on this side of the Atlantic must either watch it live on an Illegal stream or wait patiently for Wednesday.

So now you know. this is solely for British and Irish guys who for 3 days avoided spoilers like those vile Geordie Whores "women".

Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, collectively known as Wolves, defeated the useless champions of BLOW-Mance, this match has being cancelled in storyline excuses, but the real excuse was that Robbie, Zima and the new champs are sick of Carrying Jessie GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER Rancid ass!

Next was Samuel Shaw vs Mr. Anderson in a Loser Gets Commited match, This was a goofy match with some funny one-liners from Anderson. After a nut-crusher by Christy, Shaw was put in the paddy-wagon.

Angle and Willow vs Mockstar Dud and Ethan Carter the TURD-THE FUCK YOU THINK?

Match of the Night-Sanada vs Tigre Uno. It was predeceased by a great video package of Sanada's intense training At 4am in Miami. As for the match, Great back and front, did anyone else flinch when Tigre suplexed the champ into the turnbuckle. This match was awesome.

Angelina Love is new women's champion, but as a heel, it now means she loves the ability to win cleanly or use finishers. Remember last month I made fun of Madison using a finisher for the 1st time? Well that's how bad it is! Every heel Knockout not called Gail kim wins by dq, cheating or with the FUCKING ROLL-UP!

I AM FUCKING SICK OF STORM VS GUNNER!
Gunner won, now can you move on, please?

Thanks to Dixie "rich idiot" Carter disguised as the only camerawomen, Cost Bully Ray the table's match after Roode hits the Tnemtsujda Edutitta.

Magnus was outdone by Eric Young the "fighting champion" who revealed he's leaving to film more nature documentaries for Discovery at the end of the Year.

I hope you guys enjoy Extreme Rules on sunday, there will be no review of extreme rules. the next post will be the Summer schedule  Next Thursday.