We are Live in Phionex, Arizonia.
X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
RVD VS ZIMA ION(C)
A very awkward sounding bell is sound and Vam Damme has the Hammerlock. Whips the Filipino Champion into the corner, catches him with a springboard kick. Ion with a counter goes to the middle ropes, Twisting missle conectts, followed by Tornado DDT, Zima throws Rob to the outside, Follows up with a Suicide Dive. Back in Zima reddens RVD with deafening chops. RVD signature Monkey flip is countered by a low-blow the ref didn't see. Missle dropkick gets 2. Ion changes tactics by playing the submission game stretching RVD in a Abdominal stretch. RVD overpowers hits the rolling thunder and then the Five Star Frog Splash.
WINNER: AND NEW CHAMPION: RVD 3/5
So when was RVD a cruiserweight and since when did you see a cruiserweight with a belly full of cookie dough icecream, Mang?
AD BREAK: POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, POLKA DOT, AFRO!
TV CHAMPIONSHIP
MAGNUS VS SAMOA JOE(C)
They have being the best of friends, the worst of enemies, and now they are vying for the gold.
Armbar by the Champ, Fireman's carry by the English Challenger. Sucker punch by Magnus followed by his 5 moves of doom, Clothesline, knees in the corner, knee Trembler, Sudden Impact and finally Magnus' Rarely seen finisher. The Mag-Daddy Slam...I'm sorry but it needs a better name...I got it!...Magnus Hits ...THE MAGNUS OPUS!...but it only gets 2! Samoa joke hits the Atomic Drop, Back splash Powerslam, Magnus tries to leap frog but his countered into a powerslam. Stf by Joe and after 3 attempts the Joe-Mission is locked and that's all she wrote!
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION:JOE
I SAID SINCE DAY 1 OF THIS BLOG,THAT MAGNUS IS A WORLD CLASS WRESTLER, MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW. TONIGHT, HE MADE THE WORLD SEE WHAT I SAW!
AD BREAK: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA'S DON'T YOU WORRY CHILD IS A FITTING TRIBUTE TO THEIR ENDED CAREER!
STREET FIGHT
Bobby Roode vs James Storm
It just turn into a Bloody brawl, King BLOW Was as useful as the back of a clock! After Roode oversold the Closing Time, Storm smashed his face with a beer bottle before hitting the Last Call Kick.
Joey Ryan is now a member of the TNA roster thanks in part to a returning Matt Bore-gan! and the Tag team match was so boring! i feel asleep! But Hernandez and Jobbo The Eagle won. Yes it's being 2 years but I Still want to rub in the fact that Chavo was Jack Thwagger's Thoaring Eagle!
AD BREAK: DID THAT WOLF JUST DISINTEGRATE THOSE CAVEMEN?
TNA CHAMPIONSHIP
TARA VS
Oh now i see why the bell ringing has being off all night. Some Local DJ is the timekeeper who practically had to be nudged by Christie Hemme and Val to Start the Match!
SHAMELESS PLUG: CHECK OUT DANDY MONTH IN NOVEMBER ON THIS BLOG!
Headscissors by Adams when we return to match in progress, Kick to the ribs by Tara, Followed by a Chokerbomb. DDT by the champion. Broke then hits her with ...a move I've never seen before. And I Pride myself on knowing every move and hold, Hence my "ENLIGHTENED" Moniker! But Tara hits the Widows peak. 3 Title changes on the run? Look out Aries!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:TARA
So Tara's "Boyfriend" is revealed to be Big Brother's Jesse Godderz. If he's a got contract to wrestle then this is the first, last and only time you'll see me call him Jesse Godderz, because from now on he's...you guessed it! GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER!
REALLY TNA? FIRST YOU TRY AND HIRE J-WOWW, THEN RONNIE FROM THE JERSEY SHORE, NOW THIS SHALLOW GENE POOL FROM BIG BUGGER?
STING AND BULLY RAY VS ACES AND EIGHTS("BIGMAN" (WES BRISCO) AND "ARM BREAKER" (LUKE GALLOWS)W/Joseph Park
This was a brawl until a new member of Aces and eights revealed himself. The New member was demasked and revealed to be...DEVON!
HOLY DOUBLE TURN,BATMAN!
TNA WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP
AUSTIN ARIES(C) VS JEFF HARDY
So Meth has a new gimmick to pile on to his continuing stack of drug-induced marketability a red demonic looking mask/helmet that look like the head of Yoshimitsu! Out next comes the Champion who has being wearing the Green Eye as of late when it comes to Hardy. Both men get mixed reactions, in fact, i believe the crowd maybe split straight down the middle. Great Wrestling back and forth to start this Main event of the evening. Side head Scissors by YoshiMethsu into Sunset flip, Handstand to get out by Aries!, Front Suplex by Hardy. Repeated knees by Austin into Hardys Back then an elbow drop, Swanton gets nothing but Knees! Austin using his knees to dish out most of his offence, now going to his Backbreaker, Snapmare, Dropkick by the champ, Hardy up Front suplex again. Off the ropes Corkscrew by Aries! Aries with a front facelock, trying to lock in the Last Chancery Hardy counters into a move he's never done before, A Cesaro Lift! Into the Wishbone legdrop. Suicide Dive that busts Aries open. Incensed, he puts Hardy in the ropes with a crushing neckbreaker, Drop kick by Aries, he has one of the best in sport! But as he rises, Hardy gets the Twist of Fate but only gets 2 Austin splays a prone Meth Hardy onto the top rope from a Frankensteiner Brainbuster gets 2, whipped in the corner Hardy scores a running stunner, then the Twist of Fate then running on adrenaline, Perch on the top corner-buckle and hits the Swanton.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION:HARDY 6/5
IT WAS ALL CHANGE TONIGHT, ALL BUT 1 TITLE CHANGED HANDS, A FORMER TAG TEAM WHO SPLIT BOTH PASSED EACH TO GET TO THE OTHER EXTREME MORALITY CHOICES, AND DESPITE THE INEPT GUEST TIMEKEEPER THE RETURN OF BORE-GAN AND THE DEBUT OF A NEW Z-LIST CELEBRITY GOBSHITE, WE ENDED THE NIGHT WITH MATCH FOR THE AGES!
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