Not only is this my last ppv I'm reviewing this year (Christmas and budget Restraints is the reason) but until i restart in January, Tna may have closed it's door by then, they will certainly will stop their tapings in February. And considering what was announced yesterday morning, when the faithful Irish and British fans waited their turn to see the show legally, Creative had done the most Stupid thing possible to make Ethan Midcarder not only a bad wrestler, but an unprofessional douchebag, more on that later!
Anyway to the show itself! and we have technical difficulties again as North Carolina was struck with thunderstorms that played havoc with the microphones, giving every sound at ringside clear to hear and every move sounding like a stampede of bulls!
Also Pope's 3rd man on commentary...was his action figure! Pope Just Beyonce'd us!
FIrst match was as always the x division match. Tigre Uno was successful against BJ Perkins (the former Manik) Dj Zima ion and Andrew Everrett, who didn't know when i made my prediction post this time last year, turns out his dad is a hanger-on from the Hardys Omega Days. a fairly good talent but he was lost in the shuffle.
Bound for Gold Gauntlet Match had so much that is wrong with TNA. 1st Mr Anderson didn't get his drop drop mic entrance and then...you know when you are in a battle royal you must have the first two entrants have a good one-one segment before it becomes a clusterfuck...SO WHY DID TNA PUT THE GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER TO WRESTLE A WORLD CHAMPION FOR 5 WHOLE MINUTES? After Eli Drake and Al Snow, came Aiden O' Shea, a thick built Oirish-'MURICIAN thug With a mohawk and tattooed arms. Luther Ward, if you are reading this, Contact your Solicitor, you are being ripped off by TEEANDEH, Y'ALL! After Robbie's entrance was unceremoniously cut by the ad break, Mahabli shera came out and eliminated Drake and with the BGM Still on! everyone did the Stupid Shera Dance, (Or like the rednecks in the impact zone, they did the shera Dance...and ended up doing Gangnam Style) Out came Thunder-Thigh-rus and Melendez. followed by A polka dot sporting Tommy American Dweamer. Flaybss came out to settle it with Thyroid, and the Pope entered the match to fanfare!..only to eliminate himself when faced with Flabyss and Thyroid! from in on in it's just Tyrannosaurus just giving people the Asiatic spike and throwing Bodies!
ODER OF ELIMINATIONS
- DRAKE
- O'SHEA
- SNOW
- MELENDEZ
- SHERA
- POPE
- ABYSS
- ROBBIE E...by the worst Legscissors I've seen, it had to be from Jessie Godderz!
- DREAMER
- JESSIE GLASSJAWZ
- KENNEDY
- WINNER OF THE WORLD TITLE SHOT: BRODUS, BORE-US, TYRUS, TYPHOID, TYROID, TYRANNOSAURUS, WHATEVER HIS FECKING NAME IS!
I said that Lashley vs Roode wasn't going to be a half-hearted affair and it wasn't! It was Great! they even broke out each others finishers! Also Christy Hemme was on Ringside Duty so if this is the last show we were denied Borash's Last ever announcement of "BOBBY! ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
After the hall of fame induction, last year it was a dinner and ceremony...this year was a on-aired segment in front of the same rednecks in Orlando! After that was the Knockouts championship. one thing that Gail vs Kong does, that Gail vs Maddie never could at every single fucking One SHITE Only is reinvent the wheel for who the end should be, and breaking out Top rope version of their standard finishers were a master stroke, given that we don't usually see Kong go higher that the middle rope!
Kurt Angle's surprise twist that this match was now no dq...would have being better if Hemme didn't announce five minutes before that it was no DQ! Anyway angle got piledrove on his problematic broken neck, and the match was officially over by Referree Stoppage...but angle came back and won the match...that was not counted because the match was stopped due to the ref's terrible disease called Common Sense!
Matt Hardy become Champion after defeated Ethan MidCarder and Drew Galloway, who celebrated in his home state with his father, jeff, his wife Reby Sky and if Baby Maxell (Wait if he becomes as Fat his father and becomes a wrestler, does that mean in 20 years i may have to call him XL LARDY? I don't thin i'd doing this when i'm 50!) aw,what a nice moment....IT JUST A SHAME THAT CREATIVE RUINED IT YESTERDAY MORNING! Thanks to my friend from Peanut Butter Disater Peter Serafinawitz. (i think that's his real surname, but you can find him on twitter @KiraKennedyHNR) Tna has done a storyline that Ethan MidCarder has put a injunction on Matt Hardy, because Of the injunction, Ethan cannot have this Legal binding Rematch Clause or Tna would be sued, So Matt has dropped the belt and now every single superstar and Knockout are in a month long tournament. so not only do we no longer have a champion but the inevitability of male on female violence is being teased. instead of doing a triple threat of Tyrus who won a legally binding title shot going against the Legally binding rematch clauses of Carter and Galloway, but no! lets make the least talented champion since David Flair like an unprofessional crybaby!
Thankfully, this is my last pay-per-view i write this year, so i don't need to put up with this shit anymore, and by January when i restart reviewing wrestling, I'd Probably be doing Global Force if they replaced Impact on Challenge!
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