It's currently after 6am on Sunday the 17th, and Hard to kill has being over for 2 hours. I have enough credit on my phone to not wait til tomorrow to do this, so... let's do this!
Nothing on the preshow worth merit, except Bryan Myers pulled Josh Alexander's headgear over his eyes for a quick win, and Madison Rayne announcing her retirement!
Matt Striker and D'lo Brown are better commentators than Josh Matthews and Madison, and I am so glad not to here their fake revulsion towards each other again!
Match one, a mixed tag between Rosemary and Crazy Steve versus Tenille Dashwood and Caleb with a K. And everyone asks me why I can't call him Kaleb or Kaleb with a K, and I spell it Caleb and say with a K. That's the Joke! A shitty joke but he calls himself that! He doesn't call himself Kaleb, he calls himself that stupid name!
Anyway, the whole Instagram Thing they doing with Tenille is stupid, and it being a nod to her Wwe run where all she did was take bikini pic in 7 star hotel on Vince's dime, is not going to win back support or matches if the same joke happens every match, that being pausing for selfies and getting rolled over, which was the finish here and EVERY SINGLE. DASHWOOD. MATCH!
Violent by Design. Jesus Christ, that faction name is Badass! The team comprising of Eric Young, Doering and Cody Deaner Destroyed Tommy Dreamer, Rhino and Cousin Jake in a Tornado Tag Match. This Doering guy is fucking beast, first time seeing him beyond him being a goon for Young...this man can Wrestle! Strong debut for VBD!
Impact women's tag tournament finals and it was shockingly enough, the 2 actual teams who went through! The cocky heel team of Kiara Hogan and Tasha Steelz, Vs the powerhouse duo of Havoc and Nevaiah, (and get use to not ever getting that name right!) This match was the Grace/Jazz match from 5 days ago all over again: a good competitive match ruined by a Rollup!
Steelz and Hogan, collectively known as Fire and Flavour (yes, I'm Terminally White, Flavour does not have two A's!) Are the new champions the belts hosted by Gail Kim and Madison Rayne.
After complaining that despite winning the X-cup does not guarantee a spot on the ppv, Ace Austen demanded competition. Scott D'Amore revealed Matt Cardona can put down his Dollies for 5 minutes and Wrestle. Cardona won!
I'm still calling it Impact Dinner Theatre, because here's Acey Romero in a Deerstalker hat, doing investigation to clear Larry D from shooting John E Bravo let this shit end!
After removing all seconds from the ring Deonna Purrazzo and Taya had a very good match! But Taya couldn't wrest the belt from Deonna as she fell victim to her double arm breaker, the Venus DiMilo!
The last 3 matches were terrible. First Ethan Page found himself on a cheep green screen against himself as the Karate Man, this match will KILL! Jim Cornette from an anuyism if you showed this to him!
Next was the Barb Wire Massacre or was it The Dumi Callahan Wet Dream Match? Finally Eddie got his receipt for ever having to work with Mr Buy my Attempted Murder T-Shirt for s second time!
Speaking of Cornette, Aew's TV deal in Britain in terrible! Aew is barely advertised, it's never on a fixed time, it's on a channel that cannot be recorded in Ireland, and to cap it all off, it's always on a crappy time after 1 am, so this must be a shock for Tony Khan for Aew to be on Ppv and it's not there's!
So for many Irish people we have to rely on other sources to tell us about AEW and Kenny aOmega is over hyped. All the stuff Cornette has said is true all the mugging, he could not look ahead once! When he was on the apron, and finish had him slipping instead of running the ropes and doing a pose like he wanted to be painted like one of those French Girls! The Club bet Team Impact!
Well that's it! Only 2 weeks til the rumble, and looks like Mania has being moved to April, but that means I have 2 Impact plus shows between the Rumble and then.
Drop me a line or give me a follow on Twitter @RealEnli, for wrestling, Wordgames or more likely me shitposting about thick people on gameshows!
PEACE!
