mr kennedy is fired.....FIRED!!!!!!!!

Breaking news!

mister kennedy former us champion has being fired by wwe.

the loud-mouthed, fragile as glass but popular superstar returned from injury (and starring in a shite film !) to wrestle in his first match in 7 or 8 months

HE WAS IN THE MATCH FOR 5 MINUTES AND HE GOT INJURED!

HE SPENDS MORE TIME IN THE HOSPITAL THAN A FUCKING HYPOCONDRIAC!

then it came out he was scamming the WWE for the Injury Money.

wrestlers ,(like other sportsman i guess) get payed more when injured but Kennedy has spent 90% of his WWE career injured.

still what sickens me in a few months in TNA (WHERE THEY PAY BIG MONEY FOR FORMER WWE SUPERSTARS) i can hear the tired line on Impact

(match thrown out)
music plays of a ripoff of wwe theme.
Tenay: THATS KEN ANDERSON!! FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR!
West: (with a voice like he gargled glass) WHATS HE DOING IN THE IMPACT ZONE!????!!!??!

So kennedy, have your tna contract! but dont think when TNA gets destroyed that vince will take you back. and dont think the fans who chanted your name, buyed your merch, and left GET WELL SOON text on your Myspace will EVER take you back either

Because im MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR
BERMINGHAM

BER-MING-HAM!

breaking down the wwf/e part 2

yesterday i started on a series of comparisons of the 3 eras of the wwe. starting with the top faces or "good guy" of that era. now for the hard part picking out the heels or "bad guy" from each era. after a long think i picked my 3 they are:

• Hogan era: Roddy piper
• Attitude Era: Vince Mcmahon
• Ruthless agression/Pg-13 era : Edge

Again lets talk about the look first

• piper's gimmick as a scotman required him to wear a kilt and play the bagpipes. it was his own input that made this gimmick work.
• McMahon is 65 years old and in great shape! he was on Muscle and fitness magazine cover 5 years ago! but he is of course the owner so he wears business suits. this what we call a real gimmick a cartoonish version of the real person.
• Edge is supposed to be 6ft 2 and 240 lbs but whats with the leaded boots shoulder padded coats and padded hockey shirts? he probably is 5 10 if he is an inch!

next nickname and gimmick

• The Rowdy One. Piper was one of the most spectacular talkers when Piper opened his mouth the crowd was ready to throw their beer cans at him. Most people will remember his feud with former wrestler turned actor Mr T. (yes THAT Mr T) when piper said that T "wore more chains than his ancestors"*

*with apologies to all black people everywhere.

• THE BOSS.Macmahon is the most ruthless man in the wrestling business. the wrestling business is like the Mafia. the most powerful entities are families. Macmahon has split families, angered fans, embarrassed rivals,and published gimmicks that made you uncomfortable of your race, creed or sexual orientation. and that's just the stuff that made it to TV!
• The Rated R super-star!you are talking about the polar opposite to Cena!Cena is heroic non-threatening and loved by fans, Adam"Edge" Copeland is the refreshing Fart in a room of roses! (quote from the last Hero by Prathcett) Edge is sleazy rude roguish and underhanded, the kind of guy who looks like he would put the moves to your wife or girlfriend! (just ask Matt Hardy!)

Finally the finishers

• Piper:Sleeper
• Macmahon:Opponent's finisher
• Edge: Spear(rugby tackle) Edge-e-cution/impaler/Buzz killer(lifting DDT) Edge-e-cator(side Sharpshooter)

Again the they had simple but effective finishers. but for story telling in the ring and mind games the point go to Macmahon. being hit with your own move is embarrassing when your beaten by it. great story telling.

overall winner Tie between Piper and Vince

next time i wish to speak about the quality and gimmicks of matches

breaking down the wwf/e .... which was better?

in my opinion the wwe sucks today. and this post and others i will tell you why?

first i will tell you who it is going to break down. i will break down the company comparing the 3 eras.

• the hogan years
• the attitude era,
• and today which i will call the Ruthless agression/Pg 13 era.

so first lets look at the main face of each era.

• hulk hogan
• the rock
• and John Fucking Cena

first lets talk about the look of the wrestler.

the Look

• First hogan. hogan was very recognisable in his ring gear with yellow trunks, red shirts a doo-rag and yellow feathered boas like Big Bird on roids!
• the rock however didnt wear fancy gear in the ring but outside it he was a huge fashion plate. gold chains, loud shirts and 500 dollar sunglasses made the rock look very easy to copy
• Cena looks like a high school dropout who would fill up your car!

next lets talk out the Gimmick and Nickname that help make that gimmick

• the Real American. before Hogan became champ. my favourite wrestler the Iron Shiek was holding the title captive. shiek would send the most placid of crowds with his anti-american diatribes into a frenzy so when this unknown called hogan captured gold the crowd opened their arms ....and for macmahon their wallets!
• the peoples champ. that was true this was at the time when HHH married stephanie Mcmahon (the bosses daughter!) and held the championship for a whole year. Naturally even the densest of Dumbs knew that hhh was now management the company needed a hero. they chose a champion. A Peoples champion!
• the Chain gang leader. This was also song that was also sang on his album. the last time someone sang about being a leader of a gang was Garry Glitter.

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

and finally we compare the finishing manuorves usually a wrestler has more than 2!

• hogan: leg drop
• rock: rock bottom(clotheline press slam) the peoples elbow
• Cena F. U./attitude Adjustment (fireman carry slam), STFU (SUBMISSION THATS FUCKING USELESS!)

now of these moves are crap but they are effective. but that is the thing they fitted the wrestler hogan was too stiff and heavy to perform something elaborate. the rock was so good that he made an elbow drop look amazing. and cena is shite because HIS MOVES ARE SHITE

overall winner the rock

next post i will talk about the main villians of each era.

i've changed my name of my blog

ask the path is dead.
long live THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE FROM THE EDGE!
that is all.

Eamonn.

things you would not hear at eurovision!!

• America Douze points!
• vote for us ya poles or we'll deport the whole shaggin' lot of ya!
• wow turkey's entry has belly-dancers! i never saw that one coming!
• i'm Terry wogan and on sundays i fall over drunk for prince phillips amusement
• and for you entertainment here in Russia Yalkult Smirmofff!
• My Lovely Horse! Running Through the Fieeeeeeeeelds!.....
• sometimes i wonder why we even bother!
• wait a minute all the songs are plagierised!
• and now that the performance is over its time to trash the stage!

we wont win Eurovision. EVER!!! AGAIN!!!!!!

So its May. and with may brings two things.

my birthday and Eurovision

now for any yank or non-European reading this i'll tell you whats going down every country in Europe (except Italy for some reason) send a singer or band to represent there rescepted country and oh boy does since we won 7 we treat it like the world fucking cup.

we have won it seven times which means we hosted it 7 times. and every year it gets bigger and drys up all the rte funds.

so since 1998 we've hit a dry run and we haven't won because we send out the clowns.

a reality tv singer,
a knacker,
a fag,
the mcCauls (an embarrasment to Gingers everywhere)
and a turkey in a shopping trolley

no that is not a cast to a sitcom that what has represented us in the last decade.

and another thing For the BBC coverage they changed terry Wogan for Ghramn Nortan .
it makes sense.

one is an irish man who loves the Queen.
the other is an Irish man AND A QUEEN!!!!

Eire Abu!!!

nerd battle cries

• ALRIGHT CHUMS LETS DO THIS! LEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOY JENKINS!
• IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALAAAAA!
• FOR GONDOR AND MIDDLE-EARTH!
• ITS STILL REAL TO ME DAHMMIT!
• ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE!
• MORTAL KOMBAT!!
• WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?
• ARSE! FECK! DRINK!
• HADOKEN!

Thank you!

if i can be serious for a minute.

to all of my friends who were with me for the Office Technology course and our teachers,
thank you and all the best for the future.

thank you very much,

Eamonn bermingham