(THIS IS PART 2 READ PART 1 AT BOGGER BOX OFFICE)
(EAMONN'S REVIEW IN BLACK,
JOE-JACKS LINE IN BLUE)
this weeks theme-Basement jax -cruel intentions-i love the song so much you can hear it on my youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePathofenlightment
An' jus' a little more and ta-da yer disguise!
(looking at a mirror) YOU IDIOT! all you did was gave me a wig and glasses!
give ovah! wot didya expect from a fillium fer 4 euro?
AND NOW OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!
Cruel intentions.
A film in 1998 that was a modern adaptation of Fatal Liasons.But replaces the setting of pre-revolution France was replaced by American college and it worked very well, it was sexy, but it was smartly written
So Naturally they wanted to create a sequel
but hold on.
Sebastian dies and Kathryn is sent to prison for his murder
so they said "what about a sequel?"
Yes despite, having a two in the title this is in fact a prequel
with that in mind lets dig into cruel intentions: sedude and destroy!
so the film starts with the younger version of Sebastion (played by a cast-off from Dawson's creek) getting kicked out of a school by ...pranks? yeah in the first film seb was cold hearted and here he is a goofy guy and very fond here of the Granny f***y!
So he mets his dads new family and his new step-sister katryn played by a young....Amy Adams?
Goddammit woman! stop appearing in my reviews your not a bad actresses!
When it is revealed that seb is just as good at kathryn in every way, we see that Seb's dad is a pushover and kats mom is a pagent queen mom. its nice to see the people whose actions made them the monstors in the first film.
So seb is told he is to go to a private school in England.
WHAT IS IT WITH AMERICANS AND THERE FASCINATION WITH ENGLAND?
When ever an american jerk needs to be taught a lession they send him to england.
Why?
British culture is built on duality!
the same country that has an air of grace, also gave us the Carry-on films Punk Rock and kevin and perry.
so we are in England where seb wastes no time in flirting with the first thing in a skirt. it turns out that she is Dannielle the principals daught-
OH GOD NO!
That's the plot of the first film. this is just lazy writing.
Meanwhile in Stiff Upper lip high, as underpaid extras lip-sync in a choir, one of the extras (the appropriettly named Keri lynn Pratt!) breaks out in hiccups while Kat is giving a speech. she tells Kat that she'll cure them with chew-gum. so the enevitable happens, the idiot starts choking. Dannielle saves her and pisses off Kathryn.
the first class is english where they discuss doctor Jekkyl and mister Hyde.
SYMBOLISM!!!11!!!!!!!1!
Meanwhile kat has blackmailed the vice principal to get her way. by forming an elitist student body.
Meanwhile Outside the school in a bookshop in manchester...
ever notice that manchester looks a lot like rhode island?
Danielle is told to shelve books on the Karma Sutra?
....She's in high school! Did you not think there might be a little problem in her to carry such books?
Meanwhile kat is still creating her elitist army. it turns out that Cheri (GUM-IDIOT!) is richer than kathryn, so she plans to turn cheri into the biggest slut in school so her authorithy is not undermi-
OH GOD NO!
Thats the subplot to the first film! y'know the part where Michelle Gellar and selma blair kissed?
So cheri and kat go clubbing in Soho
.....ever notice that soho looks a lot like new york?
where kat plies the idiot with drink to make her look a fool but she does it all by herself.
After getting allowance that excells my yearly rent, seb buys dani a phone and kisses her in public, making her fell ashamed. So now the sebastian montinuex who used to steal girls and keep kat in a steady of cocaine hidden in her cruxifix, is now taken advice from his servants.So he proclaims his love for Danielle.
After some filler involving a lost jacket that planted foreshadowing that never materialised.we have charector derailment. Danielle who in the last scene was embarrassed by a simple kiss is now a Depraved Virgin.
lets wrap this up!
Danielle double-crosses seb, they get in a threesome with Kat, Seb turns into the charector he was in CI 1 and the film ends with the 3 corrupting Cheri
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THIS FILM SUCKS!
The Charectors are wrong, the film is filled with pointless scenes (which i left out of this review because) and as mentioned, despite being called "Manchester Prep" the whole dahm thing was filmed new york, that have way through they give up with the facade.
So to sum it up: cruel intentions 2: not a unnessacary sequel but an unnessacary prequel
(Eamonn enters the supermarket but is surrounded by Rentacops. The roar of engines and "Danger zone" breaks the silence! ITS 8O'S LAD PILOTING A JET SIGNALING EAMONN TO GET OUT!)
KEEP IT HERE BECAUSE NEXT WEEK 80'S LAD REVIEWS SLEATH!
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