the final card for wrestlemania 29

this Sunday night it's going be the grandest stage of them all. In the spiritual home of wwe, New York comes Wrestlemania 29.

All matches are in descending importance.

TWICE IN A LIFE-TIME!
THE SHOW-CASE OF THE SELL-OUTS!
THE DWAYNE VS JOHN FUCKING CENA FOR THE WWE PART-TIME CHAMPIONSHIP!
I Was of the many fans who felt that rock's latest title run has being less than stellar. Rock's lacklustre matches and non-competing on raw, when he did show up, does not impress. So I'll feel dirty saying it, but just like when GOBSHITE FROM MTV! was champion I hope Cena wins. and it looks like it maybe a heel turn. Finally have Cena lose his temper, sure he'll lose his sweetheart deal selling merch but trust me, if he turns heel it won't last but they probably not chant Cena sucks. if they book it right.

WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP
"Wasist" Jack Thwagger vs Alberto Del Rio.(c)
By now, you've heard that Swagger celebrated his title shot by smoking up a big-ass blunt. Looks like his title chances....
(PUT'S ON SUNGLASSES)
Went up in smoke!
(YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Won't get fool again plays)

PRE-SHOW IC CHAMPIONSHIP
WADE BARRET(c)VS GOBSHITE FROM MTV.
For all of miz's big talk of proving to the world he can hang with the big boys, I will be spared actually seeing and hearing that Chimp-face idiot having 6 shades of shite beaten out of him by the Barrett Barrage.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
TEAM HELL NO(C) VS Dolph ziggler and Big E Langston
Kane and Daniel Bryan are advertised to put the title's up against the shield at the London tapings so Dolph wont have 2 belts this year. I Have a feeling Langston will up-show the show-off, get pinned and return to cash in the briefcase. he only has 3 months left to do it. Clock's ticking.

THE STREAK!
UNDERTAKER VS CM PUNK
Amid the controversy of using the real life death of William moody(Paul Bearer), a truth had being spoken by JBL: For once in 21 years it's Undertaker the victim of mind games. Every year I say that it's the safest bet I ever made, this year it's still safe as houses.

NO HOLDS BARRED
HUNT-UH VERSUS-UH LESN-UH
Brock lesner will destroy triple h. Triple h is an executive now. He is not in very good shape to wrestle day to day so win or lose it's one of triple h's last match's regardless. Simple as.

Chris Jericho vs FandanGOD AWFUL!
I bet Chris was working on an album this year. Safe to say the production value of the event will go straight into making FandanGOBSHITE entrance a spectacular before the bell ring turns it into a Craptacular. If Johnny Curtis actually beats Jericho clean. I WILL LOSE IT!

THROWAWAY MATCH
WOADTH THCOLARTH AND THE BELLA SKANKS VERSUS BORE-US CLAY AND LORD TENSALBERTRAIN AND THE FUNKADACTYLS

There is not enough Savlon in the world to remove the mark of the world's biggest face-palm that I gave myself when I read that this match was being booked.

RYBACK VS MARK HENRY
Now this is going to be ugly. nothing but raw power. But there is a storyline. Ryback nearly bet Henry's world record in bench-pressing that he just made. For the longest time, The world's strongest man name was so instrumental in bringing him to wwe, that it's the thing that he held dear. when you met some-one who does something you do well better than you, It shakes your confidence and you act negatively. that how the writers want you to feel what Henry is going through.

THE SHIELD (SETH ROLLINS, ROMAN REIGNS AND DEAN AMBROSE) VS TRIPLE H'S BROWN TONGUE BRIGADE(BIG SHITE,BORE-TON AND LAME-ARSE)

THE FUCK YOU THINK?

Full results after 11:30am GMT at 8th of April.