Did you miss me?
The Enlightened Page's Normal Service resumes.....NOW!
Speaking of normal services resuming, Tonight, it's Clobbering time!
Since we are in Chicago, video Package is Gangster Themed
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE I.C. CHAMPIONSHIP
GOBSHITE FROM MTV VS CURTIS ASSHOLE VS WADE BARRETT (C)
After 15 attempts Barrett has some decent entrance music. And as for Miz, you know you suck when your absent manager is chanted for and not you! Unless you've had your head buried under a rock, Fandango is out of this match after a concussion. Donkey kick by Barrett on miz to start off, followed by a dropkick by asshole. How complicit are these Ring-Brats if a dropkick is your best move I could go into his offence more but all his moves are antiqued at best. Miz puts Barrett in figure four, but he powers out. Winds of change by Barrett. Perfectplex countered into Wasteland gets 2. Stupid fold in slam by G.F.M.T.V., Wade interrupts pins Axel, Miz makes the save. Figure four on the tweaked knee of Barrett but Axel makes a pin
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: CURTIS AXEL! 4/5
INGENIOUS END TO THIS MATCH, THERE MAYBE SOMETHING MORE TO THIS "JOBBER JOE" HENNING THAN I THOUGHT.
VIDEO PACKAGE FOR MARK HENRY FOR RAW. I GUESS HE'S NOT LEAVING.
Backstage, Hunt-uh refuses to congratulate Axel. because Hunt-uh is bitt-uh!
DIVAS TITLE MATCH
KAITLYN(C) VS AJ LEE W/ BIG LANGSTON
An angry fighter is a sloppy fighter, and despite giving a whole foot in size. Lee is beating Kaitlyn pillar to post here. Double neckbreaker by AJ, Though kaitlyn is no slouch herself hitting an array of kicks. Octopus Hold by lee, but it's countered into a rack. E causes a distraction, giving AJ enough time to hit Kaitlyn with her studded belt! Octopus Hold again into Sideslam. Spear but the champ chooses to taunt and holds aj in such a way to promote Shippers! and pays for it! Octopus Hold and 3rd time is indeed the charm!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: AJ LEE
Close-up of Kaitlyn she has a black-eye already! That must have being one shot with that belt!
I love the new Expert panel concept. this is the first time I've seen it. Basically superstars give their opinions on the matches. more of this please, WWE, and please let it lead to new feuds and
storylines.
US CHAMPIONSHIP
DEAN AMBROSE (C) VS KANE
As you know, I think Kane has passed it. and this was his typical Immobile Slab of meat, going through the motions match. It was boring. so was the ending!
WINNER BY COUNTOUT: DEAN AMBROSE!
THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE! RVD RETURNS AT MONEY IN THE BANK!
Sandow was beaten by Lame-arse! Take that, Stephen Dunn!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
ALBERTO DEL RIO VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
Arm-Rigger by ADR to start off, but Alberto has went for the jugular early by targeting his head. the doctor was out a few times to try to stop the match but Ziggler was having none of it. in the end, a valiant effort, a double turn and a new, if despised champion.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: ALBERTO DEL RIO
Punk returned to Chicago and defeated Chris Jericho but after the previous match the crowd was spent.
Shield retained against randy Orton when Bryan was thrown out by Bore-ton.
3 STAGES OF HELL MATCH
RYBERG LOSES TO, I MEAN VERSUS JOHN CENA
THE FUCK YOU THINK!
WINNER: CENA!
HEAD OVER TO BOGGER BOX OFFICE AS PART 1 OF MEET IS UP! IT'S ALSO PART 1 OF MY NEW STORYLINE!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
THE STINK AND HACK HOGAN SHOW PRESENTS...SLAMMERVERSARY!
We are live in Beantown, Boston Mass., To celebrate 11 years of Tna.
What started as a generic package on the history of Tna turned into one of the best packages to hype A&8'S, However it made them look like a terrorist group. In A show in Boston. WHOOPS!
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS SABIN VS SUICIDE VS KENNY KING(C)
We start with the challengers surrounding the cocky Las Vegas Champion. Hiptoss by Sabin, who turns on Suicide but Suicide counters with a 2-for-1. Trap Suplex by King. Belly to back by suicide on King. Legscissors, then a vertical suplex, then a tornado ddt in succession by Sabin. the champ is put in a Double Submission. but as per the rules of this match, win occurs by obtaining the belt held by the ropes above.
Ad BREAK: The English pop-star Amelia Lily has Pink hair. Does the Carpet match the drapes?
We come back to the 3 all layed out, replay tells us that it was an Electric Chair by King that did it. Powerbomb by Sabin. Blockbuster by King and we start all over, everyone is layed out! Tower of doom shifts the momentum to Chris Sabin. It's all sabin as he scales the ropes.
WINNER AND NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION: SABIN 4/5
After tearing both ACLS and being on the shelf for two years, this win is well deserved!
....Until that Perma-tanned Prick, that old Hack Hogan comes out and steals all of Sabin's Thunder (in Paradise!) It doesn't matter if come back from the brink, this is the hack Hogan show after all. Happily, the aces and eights put a stop to his Ego Wank!
SIX MAN TAG
ACES AND EIGHTS(ANDERSON, GARRETH BISHOFF ANDCODY RHODES WES BRISCO VS MAGNUS SAMOA JOE AND METH HARDY
I was going to go into the match in more detail, but this will forever remembered for than EPIC FAIL of a botch done by Garret Bischoff. And you wonder I scrutinise 2nd and 3rd gens so much.
Winner: tna
TV CHAMPIONSHIP
Backstage Joseph Park was "taken out", so his "brother" is "replacing" him.
FLABYSS VS DEVON(C)
STICK A FORK IN HIM, HE'S DONE!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: ABYSSMAL
AD BREAK: SOME GOBSHITE RAPPER HAS RUINED LASGO'S CLASSIC SONG "SOMETHING" BY CROWBARRING HIS OWN SHITTY LYRICS AND DUB-STEP.
Speaking of Gobshites, out comes Dixie Carter to "UNDUCT"(her word, not mine!) Kurt Angle into the Hall of Fame.
4 TEAM ELIMATION MATCH FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
BAD INFLUENCES VS ARIES/ROODE VS STORM/GUNNER VS HERNANDEZ VS JOBBO (C)
The champions come in with lots X-pac Heat. It is Jobbo Geurrerro after all, who is still using Eddy as a meal ticket, 8 years after his death. Anyway this match is too fast paced for me to write what's happening. So i'm going to give you the skinny, after everyone hits their finishers, Daniels hits Jobbo with the belt when he was going for the Coattail Ride, getting disqualified. Making the champions easy pickings for Roode. But the convincing team of former world's champion was no match for the motley makeship team of The cowboy and Gunner.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: GUNNER/STORM
What I'm about to say is not to be construed as sarcasm. I'm being as genuine as I can be. the Last woman standing match....was Outstanding! in fact its the second nominee for the Flippie Match of the year. So all the jokes about Tarryn Terrell being a Fembot, or having a child's voice, or selling ecw for magic beans? put them away. Great match.
Kurt Angle versus "Emo" aj styles had the best five minutes of mat wrestling I'd seen in long time. all night, Styles target angle's leg that was injured after that hammer shot. Angle won this highly competitive match.
Bully ray put a stop to the face's clean sweep by winning the only match that matters, the world championship match, after tearing up the ring (Literally! the canvas was ripped to shreds!) STINK Leapt straight into a hammer shot to the ribs, re-earning his "Stupidest Man In Wrestling Moniker.
What started as a generic package on the history of Tna turned into one of the best packages to hype A&8'S, However it made them look like a terrorist group. In A show in Boston. WHOOPS!
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS SABIN VS SUICIDE VS KENNY KING(C)
We start with the challengers surrounding the cocky Las Vegas Champion. Hiptoss by Sabin, who turns on Suicide but Suicide counters with a 2-for-1. Trap Suplex by King. Belly to back by suicide on King. Legscissors, then a vertical suplex, then a tornado ddt in succession by Sabin. the champ is put in a Double Submission. but as per the rules of this match, win occurs by obtaining the belt held by the ropes above.
Ad BREAK: The English pop-star Amelia Lily has Pink hair. Does the Carpet match the drapes?
We come back to the 3 all layed out, replay tells us that it was an Electric Chair by King that did it. Powerbomb by Sabin. Blockbuster by King and we start all over, everyone is layed out! Tower of doom shifts the momentum to Chris Sabin. It's all sabin as he scales the ropes.
WINNER AND NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION: SABIN 4/5
After tearing both ACLS and being on the shelf for two years, this win is well deserved!
....Until that Perma-tanned Prick, that old Hack Hogan comes out and steals all of Sabin's Thunder (in Paradise!) It doesn't matter if come back from the brink, this is the hack Hogan show after all. Happily, the aces and eights put a stop to his Ego Wank!
SIX MAN TAG
ACES AND EIGHTS(ANDERSON, GARRETH BISHOFF AND
I was going to go into the match in more detail, but this will forever remembered for than EPIC FAIL of a botch done by Garret Bischoff. And you wonder I scrutinise 2nd and 3rd gens so much.
Winner: tna
TV CHAMPIONSHIP
Backstage Joseph Park was "taken out", so his "brother" is "replacing" him.
FLABYSS VS DEVON(C)
STICK A FORK IN HIM, HE'S DONE!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: ABYSSMAL
AD BREAK: SOME GOBSHITE RAPPER HAS RUINED LASGO'S CLASSIC SONG "SOMETHING" BY CROWBARRING HIS OWN SHITTY LYRICS AND DUB-STEP.
Speaking of Gobshites, out comes Dixie Carter to "UNDUCT"(her word, not mine!) Kurt Angle into the Hall of Fame.
4 TEAM ELIMATION MATCH FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
BAD INFLUENCES VS ARIES/ROODE VS STORM/GUNNER VS HERNANDEZ VS JOBBO (C)
The champions come in with lots X-pac Heat. It is Jobbo Geurrerro after all, who is still using Eddy as a meal ticket, 8 years after his death. Anyway this match is too fast paced for me to write what's happening. So i'm going to give you the skinny, after everyone hits their finishers, Daniels hits Jobbo with the belt when he was going for the Coattail Ride, getting disqualified. Making the champions easy pickings for Roode. But the convincing team of former world's champion was no match for the motley makeship team of The cowboy and Gunner.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: GUNNER/STORM
What I'm about to say is not to be construed as sarcasm. I'm being as genuine as I can be. the Last woman standing match....was Outstanding! in fact its the second nominee for the Flippie Match of the year. So all the jokes about Tarryn Terrell being a Fembot, or having a child's voice, or selling ecw for magic beans? put them away. Great match.
Kurt Angle versus "Emo" aj styles had the best five minutes of mat wrestling I'd seen in long time. all night, Styles target angle's leg that was injured after that hammer shot. Angle won this highly competitive match.
Bully ray put a stop to the face's clean sweep by winning the only match that matters, the world championship match, after tearing up the ring (Literally! the canvas was ripped to shreds!) STINK Leapt straight into a hammer shot to the ribs, re-earning his "Stupidest Man In Wrestling Moniker.
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