Thursday, June 6, 2013

THE STINK AND HACK HOGAN SHOW PRESENTS...SLAMMERVERSARY!

 We are live in Beantown, Boston Mass., To celebrate 11 years of Tna.

What started as a generic package on the history of Tna turned into one of the best packages to hype A&8'S, However it made them look like a terrorist group. In A show in Boston. WHOOPS!

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS SABIN VS SUICIDE VS KENNY KING(C)
We start with the challengers surrounding the cocky Las Vegas Champion. Hiptoss by Sabin, who turns on Suicide but Suicide counters with a 2-for-1. Trap Suplex by King. Belly to back by suicide on King. Legscissors, then a vertical suplex, then a tornado ddt in succession by Sabin. the champ is put in a Double Submission. but as per the rules of this match, win occurs by obtaining the belt held by the ropes above.
Ad BREAK: The English pop-star Amelia Lily has Pink hair. Does the Carpet match the drapes?

We come back to the 3 all layed out, replay tells us that it was an Electric Chair by King that did it. Powerbomb by Sabin. Blockbuster by King and we start all over, everyone is layed out! Tower of doom shifts the momentum to Chris Sabin. It's all sabin as he scales the ropes.
WINNER AND NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION: SABIN 4/5
After tearing both ACLS and being on the shelf for two years, this win is well deserved!
....Until that Perma-tanned Prick, that old Hack Hogan comes out and steals all of Sabin's Thunder (in Paradise!) It doesn't matter if come back from the brink, this is the hack Hogan show after all. Happily, the aces and eights put a stop to his Ego Wank!

SIX MAN TAG
ACES AND EIGHTS(ANDERSON, GARRETH BISHOFF AND CODY RHODES WES BRISCO VS MAGNUS SAMOA JOE AND METH HARDY
I was going to go into the match in more detail, but this will forever remembered for than EPIC FAIL of a botch done by Garret Bischoff. And you wonder I scrutinise 2nd and 3rd gens so much.
Winner: tna

TV CHAMPIONSHIP
Backstage Joseph Park was "taken out", so his "brother" is "replacing" him.
FLABYSS VS DEVON(C)
STICK A FORK IN HIM, HE'S DONE!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: ABYSSMAL

AD BREAK: SOME GOBSHITE RAPPER HAS RUINED LASGO'S CLASSIC SONG "SOMETHING" BY CROWBARRING HIS OWN SHITTY LYRICS AND DUB-STEP.

Speaking of Gobshites, out comes Dixie Carter to "UNDUCT"(her word, not mine!) Kurt Angle into the Hall of Fame.

4 TEAM ELIMATION MATCH FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
BAD INFLUENCES VS ARIES/ROODE VS STORM/GUNNER VS HERNANDEZ VS JOBBO (C)
The champions come in with lots X-pac Heat. It is Jobbo Geurrerro after all, who is still using Eddy as a meal ticket, 8 years after his death. Anyway this match is too fast paced for me to write what's happening. So i'm going to give you the skinny, after everyone hits their finishers, Daniels hits Jobbo with the belt when he was going for the Coattail Ride, getting disqualified. Making the champions easy pickings for Roode. But the convincing team of former world's champion was no match for the motley makeship team of The cowboy and Gunner.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: GUNNER/STORM

What I'm about to say is not to be construed as sarcasm. I'm being as genuine as I can be. the Last woman standing match....was Outstanding! in fact its the second nominee for the Flippie Match of the year. So all the jokes about Tarryn Terrell being a Fembot, or having a child's voice, or selling ecw for magic beans? put them away. Great match.

Kurt Angle versus "Emo" aj styles had the best five minutes of mat wrestling I'd seen in long time. all night, Styles target angle's leg that was injured after that hammer shot. Angle won this highly competitive match.

Bully ray put a stop to the face's clean sweep by winning the only match that matters, the world championship match, after tearing up the ring (Literally! the canvas was ripped to shreds!) STINK Leapt straight into a hammer shot to the ribs, re-earning his "Stupidest Man In Wrestling Moniker.

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