TNA LOCKDUMB QUICKIE: DIXIE IS QUEEN OF THE IDIOTS, SHE EARNED THAT TIGHT-ALL, Y'ALL!

Here's last night's deferred coverage of Sunday night's Lockdown, Tna's all cage ppv.

First was an x-division Tna vs Wrestle-1 6 man tag, Team TNA were Frankie Kazerian, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin. Wrestle-1's team were the new x-Champion, Sanada, the rookie Yasu, and the Legend that is The Great Muta. The crowd screamed and demanded his presence. As for the match this was an imaginative Spotfest (Especially that triple dropkick!) Sanada, the protégé of Muta, used his trademark, Mutasualt to win this high-octane opener.

The escape the cage match between Anderson and Samuel "the Creepy Bastard!" Shaw, who debuted a more sinister music than the dance -music he had (despite the fact the old music has a woman's voice saying "say that you want me" over and over, still fitting the stalker gimmick). Ken nearly won but Shaw kidnapped Christy and Ken went to save her only to Fall foul of the Catatcaca- the catacatommo- FUCK IT! I'm giving his finisher an appropriate name-Chloroform! Shaw made Anderson go to sleep with the Chloroform!

1st title match of the Night. I was always unsure what was Madison Rayne's finisher since despite her 5 title reigns, she always used roll-ups, interference or weapons to win. Apparently it's a flying Spear. Good for her.

Next was Manik versus Tigre Uno. Both men were too similar to warrant my full attention. Nice little match, though! Tigre won.

Gunner defeated James Storm. That's it!

Rich Idiot the 3rd's open challenge was a no contest as Bobby Lashley returned. Now that Choc Lesner is back, I can dust this gem of:

You Thay  That your name Is Ethan Carter and The World Needth You...Well I Thay Your Ethan Carter....AND YOU'RE A BATHURD!

Despite having his ass handed to him, The man who does more that just Whistle Dixie, Shag-nus retained his title after Flabyss used "Janice" to tear a hole in the canvas and drag Joe under the ring.

Dixie "Rich Idiot" Carter is gone! at least for a few months! Despite the distraction of ROD STEWART Rockstar Spud and the application of Bully Ray as special ref, team Mvp, comprising of M.V.P. , Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards and Jeff Hardy's new Morally ambiguous persona, Willow.

So more Southern hospitality for the Carters. Y'all DONT Come back now, Y'here!

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