This year is also a contrast, So far the matches for next months 'Mania are exciting and unbelievable. Will Bryan shatter Hunt-uh's Glass ceiling? Will Golden Boy Cena Follow the Buzzards? Who will win the Andre? Will the Greatest Streak ever stand? And will we ever have a mania with all the titles on the line? Or in Wembley?
10 years ago, the matches supporting the 3-way main event and Wwe championship were...underwhelming.
In the Legendary Madison Square Garden, this is where it all begins...Again.
U.S CHAMPIONSHIP
John FUCKING Cena vs Big Shite(c)
This may shock all you little kiddies, but your Hero Cena, Use to use bad words and cheat. They should show some old cena raps to kids, that'll be a FineBros video I'd watch! plus I forgot that he was trying to make Dahm Straight the new Hell Yeah, I'm glad it never caught on.
Cena starts off with Punches to Slow's protruding gut. Crossbody by Johnny-boy was caught, and his confidence shaken, never used that move again! In the corner Big show with the Frying pan chop, suplex on the writhing Cena, followed with the big boot. Standing Leg drop and the sleeper. Clothesline by Cena. but that shit is Stopped cold with the cobra clutch, But Cena Hulks-up, F.U gets 2. and after a distraction, Cena uses brass knux. He Cheated? THAT'S NOT PG!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: CENA
I Wonder what ever happened to him(?)
Backstage Jonathan "I Only Talked About Soft-Boy Rugby On My WWE Magazine Column, So I Fucked Off To Host NFL On ESPN" Coachman meets Bischoff to find the Undertaker, Bring him to Raw Brand. Also to investigate the LOUD NOISES! Backstage.
Also backstage: Randy Orton, Flanked by Ric Flair and Shitista on the Stairwell where Orton attacked Foley in the summer of 2003, to start off the feud which ends tonight.
FATAL 4-WAY FOR THE WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
LA RESISTANCE 2.0 VS CADE/JINDRAK VS THE DUDLEYZ VS BOOKER/RVD(C)
Y'know what? I forgot that Mark Jindrak existed! And he can put that on his resume forever I was at a wrestlemania. Then the champs come out to a terrible mash-up of One of a kind and that terrible version of can you kick from that horrible wwe sings! album. As the for the Match it's beat on cade and Jindrak until Jindrak takes all the finishers and Jindrak gets beaten in his wm debut.
AND YET NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST!
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: RVD AND BOOKER.
Backstage, and Coach finds the source of the LOUD NOISES! Mean Gene, Bobby the Brain, Moolah and Mae Young having old people sex! THANKS JAMMITIN!
Next Christian and Chris Jericho had great seperate matches, but when they met, this...WAS NOT 1 OF THEM! And to make a bad match worse, it was over a women...who could handle herself without a man...WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THIS?
CHRIS JERICHO VS CHRISTAN
All this talk of terrible ring music reminds me that Christian had that Dirge before Waterproof Blonde came along. Jericho makes his entrance and after a tentative start, a collar and elbow tie-up ends in the corner, when Jericho Bitchslaps him. Christian returns the favour with reverse elbow, followed by a back suplex, followed by clothesline. This ends to the outside of the ring, where Captain Charisma launches at Y2J. Back in and it's all Christian. Kitchen sink into a choke hold. But Jericho,Born in this state of New York, get the support of the people and gets up and lauches an Enzirgiri into a backslide that get only 2. Bulldog that leading to the trusty Loinsault bit it only gets knees. Christian gets up and uses the reverse Tornado DDT that only gets two. Then Trish comes out and distracts Jericho enough for Christian to win with...A roll-up!
WINNER: CHRISTAIN:
BAN THE ROLL-UP!
Backstage: Mick Foley was interviewed by Garcia, until the rock came in. I could tell you but I'd rather Show you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbRwbIU-XMs
3-ON-2 HANDICAP MATCH
EVOLUTION(RANDY ORTON, SHITISTA & RIC FLAIR) VS THE ROCK & MICK FOLEY
After a huge brawl, Foley and Bootista start out. Both men tag out and Rock and Flair, enter the fray, Rocky with a headlock takeover on the Nature Boy, copies the Strut, insulted, Naitch reacts with his trademark Flair Chops. Back body drop by the rock and the Cactus Elbow by Foley, Rock back in, but a low blow by flair the dirtiest player in the game. I think the rock should change his name after this. Shitista in and slams the Rock. Flair back in with chops on the Rock, double clothesline spot, double tag. Foley and Batisteroids are legal, as Foley is now tearing a 'tista a new ass! Batista counters with Bastista move #1/3-Clothesline. Orton whips Foley into steel steps. Flair in and tells the rock who tries to tag in "I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER! (the statement was edited out of some dvds despite the 15 rating) Orton is now officially legal in this match, with a few shots on Foley. finally the rock comes in an clears house but Shitista hits Batista Move #2/3-Spinebuster, and then Flair mocks the peoples elbow. But the rock kips up and spinebusts Flair. People's elbow, but Rock turns into Boretista and Batista Move 3/3-SHITISTA BOMB! With this PP spend Batista is switched out for Orton who counters Foley's Attempt at Mr. Socko into an rko
WINNERS: EVOLUTION
Now this is the Randy orton I remember and want to see again, Not the mahogany-coloured, lazy Pragmatic Brat that we have now!
HALLOF FAME CLASS OF 04
Bobby Heenan-Greatest Manager and colour commentator that ever lived.
Tito Santana-former I.C and tag champ
The Family of Big John Studd-Winner of the first 30 man Royal Rumble
Harly Race-former 7 time world's champion
Pete Rose-Disgraced Baseball Player (Celebrity Wing)
Don Murocco-Former I.C champion
Greg Valentine-Former U.S, I.C and tag champion
the family OF junkyard dog-Very popular jobber
Billy Graham-Former World's Champion
Sgt. Slaughter-Former WWE Champion
and Jesse the Body Ventura-Renaissance Man.
LINGERIE TAG MATCH....WAS SHIT!
WINNERS (NOT THAT YOU CARE!): SABLE AND TORRIE
Backstage: Eddie guerrero tells C***S B*****t that he won't win, but it's a ploy to fire him up.
CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN
JOBBO THE EAGLE(C) W/ JOBBO THE TURKEY VS NUNZIO VS JAMIE NOBLEVS TAJIRI VS AKIO VS SHANNON MOORE VS ULTIMO DRAGON VS BILLY KIDMAN VS OverREYted W/O FAN BACKLASH
ENTRANT 1: DRAGON VS ENTRANT 2: MOORE
Waistlock by the Japanese Legend, Arm rigger whips the Prince of punks into the ropes, Shoulder barge by Moore, who follows up with a Back suplex but misses his Halo finisher. Asai DDT By the man himself. Gets 3
ENTRANT 3: NOBLE
Kicks by The Virginian Noble, hard Backbreaker to the dragon, Neckbreaker and insult to injury, the Dragon is ended by 1 of his many moves: the Dragon Sleeper.
ENTRANT 4: FUNAKI
Crossbody, but Noble rolls through for a pin, thanks for coming, Funaki!
ENTRANT 5: NUNZIO
Sicilian Slice gets 2, and he gets counted out after a senton to the outside.
ENTRANT 6: KIDMAN
...takes out Nunzio and noble with the shooting Star, In the ring B.K Bomb on Noble, and he gets the Win.
ENTRANT 7: MYSTERIO
Akio on the outside, attacks Mysterio, Kidman went to the well too many times and when going for the B.K Bomb again, GOT HIS HEAD NEARLY CRACKED OPEN BY A MISTIMED SUNSET FLIP! The entire 3 front rows winced.
ENTRANT 8: TAJIRI
Now it's apparent why Akio attacked Rey-Rey. as both Japanese wrestlers have the 8 and 9 spots. Tarantula by the Japanese Buzzsaw, but he can't win with the illegal hold, Handspring elbow backfired into the 619! Green Mist accidently to Akio, roll-up
ENTRANT 9: Akio is unable to wrestle, Chavo faces Rey.
After a distraction by Jobbo the Turkey, Jobbo the Eagle gets a pin.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: JOBBO GUERRERO JR
And you wonder why there's no cruiserweight Division anymore!
Up next is the match that everyone remembers...For all the wrong reasons!
BROCK LESNER VS GOLDBERG
SPECIAL REFEREE: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
After making their entrances the real stars of this match, the audience start with YOU SOLD OUT! Chants to Lesner, as Brock was leaving not for UFC, but to the NFL, It didn't work out. the crowd switches to Nanana Hey-Hey-Hey Goodbye. which begs the Question: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THROW A PUNCH? A very long Power and elbow Tie-up gets a boring chant and stare down and another tediously Tie-up, makes the crowd declare that "THIS MATCH SUCKS!" Headlock by lesner, whips and neither egomaniac wanted to sell the others shoulder barges, Military press into spear by Goldberg but Lesner Dodges a second spear. Lesner tries to suplex Goldberg but he sandbags him a few times, before the actual suplex. Each man went for their finish and only got 2 and got in Austin's Face, but it was Lesner who flipped off the crowd, so he got stunned.
WINNER: GOLDBERG: After beers, Austin stuns Goldberg to cheers!
Vince MacMahon came out and thanks the fans to huge response.
4 WAY MATCH FOR WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE SELF PROCLAIMED WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM (HAAS/BENJAMIN) VS APA(
Shelton smacks JBL, Big mistake!
Elbow by the only wwe champ in this match. Layfield tags in Danny, atomic drop to danny, Haas knees the Basham on the outside. Haas in, backbreaker on Danny, who tags in Scotty who suplexes haas, some dancing, leading to a punch to Benjamin who was talking smack. this smart decision leads to scotty getting the WGTT'S Leapfrog double team finisher! Haas tags Doug, double team suplex on scotty. Belly to back by Doug, after a leg lace, then scotty tags in Rikishi who cleans houses DDT Benjamin, Stinkface on Doug, Clothesline from hell from Bradshaw, until scotty takes him out of the equation, Sit-down pin for the...win? The hell?
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: TOO COOL
Invoking memories of royal rumble 2000, the champs dance for this excited MSG crowd
DVD 1 OUT AND DVD 2 IN.
JOIN ME SOON FOR PART 2 OF THIS RETROSPECTIVE.
Follow me on Twitter @saveusPOE
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