SHITE OF CHAMPIONS 2014 : WANTED: WWE CHAMP WHO GIVES A SHIT! ALSO WANTED: SKUNK HAIR'S MANHOOD AND THE I.C TITLE'S RESPECT!

I Apologise in advance if my post becomes ranting and very angry, but something as just came up in my personal life that should have done if people did their jobs right! Of course I Don't want to bore you with all the personal details, but first a show like this and then something like that will really turn anyone's mood.

1st was the Plaything for the Ring-brats, the tag titles. I must say it was a good match between the usos and the Rhodes, but BOO-SUCK #1'S leg gave out and Rhodes have won.... to face pops! Maybe because they believe that the way the Usos bet the Wyatt's was Bullshit!

Well, it's Sad to say but no matter how good or over you are, if you facing Triple H's Laundry Boy, The Celtic Waster, Lame-Arse!, and Senile Vince thinks you should "go back to making chocolates!", you Aren't leaving Nashville with the gold.

Speaking of Nashville, we had SOME COUNTRY BAND! Invade commentary to announce that they will be performing at "Honour of the Troops" (Each commentator then dropped in an obvious way that these cousin-fuckers meant "TRIBUTE To The Troops", 6 times, before they got it right!" Maybe they can play at SummerFest, as well! With these Informed people(!) on commentary, this match must be the designated popcorn match.....
"AAAAAAAWWWWWWEEESSSOOOMMMMMMMMMEEEE!"

-I HATE MYSELF WHEN I'M RIGHT!

Anyway, GOBSHITE FROM MTV wins after the Inbredders Run off Damien Gobshitedow! And the worst thing, it was blatantly a 2 count!

With Super Roman out for 2 months with a hernia, Catwoman Seth Rollins issued an open challenge, GUESS WHO BACK! THAT'S RIGHT, The TittyMaster! Ambrose assaulted Rollins to the biggest pop of the night! Until the authority and their security detail and road managers arrested Ambrose, it reminded me of the old Austin, McMahon rivalry- only it now Austin 3:16, It's Ambrose 34DD Says I just Mastered Your Titties! And I want that on a sign or a t-shirt right now!

Next was Mark Hungry vs POO-SEV!- ACCOLADE, THE END!

I missed the beginning of Jericho and Bore-ton, Boreton won, so Triple H isn't putting his Big CryBaby to bed just yet!

BRIE KNEW A.J WOULD WIN THE DIVA'S TITLE, AND THAT NIKKI WOULD CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO THE MATCH....BUT I NEVER TOLD ANYONE!

And Finally The wwe championship is still under siege by Brock Lesner. Rollins interrupted the match, causing a dq, and was going to cash in but the belt did not ring and Skunk Hair fucked off with himself! And so my wwe year ends with all time low, No world champion day-to-day and the highest ranking champion to fall back on makes Cameron look like Madison Eagles in comparsion!
THIS WHAT THINK OF THE WWE RIGHT NOW AT 4AM THIS MORNING


FUCK THIS COMPANY!

WWE Night of champions predictions

The last wwe I review this year and the second last ppv in general hits our screen on sunday night. This year with 1 less belt-we have not 1-but THREE pointless single matches!

ALL MATCHES IN DESCENDING IMPORTANCE! (This is not the running order, this is the view of many on what matches are important, due to what title is on the line.)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
JOHN FUCKING CENA VS BROCK "EAT SLEEP COLLECT PAYCHECK REPEAT" LESNER(C)
What a hero John cena is! Beating the shit out of an old, overweight man who is not a trained wrestler! I suppose it's up to me to tell you that the main event advertised for the uk tour in November is John Cena vs Seth Rollins for the wwe title, though it doesn't actually say WHO! the champion is....
Money on: Cena to Bring belt the home-Only for Rollins to cash in!

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!
DOLPH ZIGGLER(C) VS GOBSHITE FROM MTV!
Ever since starring in his TV MOVIE!, G.F.M.T.V has being more annoying than ever-why? because he achieved his goal-use wwe to get a mainstream film job! The Hades Touch that Got John Morrison fired and put Daniel Bryan in shitty gimmicks has now gotten on to Damien Sandow, who thanks to the trying to cash in on Cena, had his soul crushed by wwe soulcrushing status quo!
MONEY ON: ZIGGLER! WWE IS BEGINING TO WONDER ABOUT MIZ'S ABILTIY TO MASS EXUDICE WHOLE ARENAS!

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
THE "CELTIC WASTER" LAME-ARSE! (C) VS CESARO
It's a Shameful thing, Lobster-head, that you have being sparsely defending this belt. But if I was Triple H's WorkOut Partner/LaundryBoy/Coffee Go-for, I'd be happy as a pig in Chardonnay too.
MONEY ON: CESARO, even If SenileVince thinks he should "go back to making chocolates!"

A POINTLESS TRINKLET PASS ABOUT BY THE 2ND AND 3RD GENERATION RING-BRATS!
THE BOO-SUCKS! (C) VS THE WOADS BWODDERTH!
IF you wonder what the Usos chant in Samoan before there matches they say this:

ALL CREDABILTY HAS JUST WENT/
WE GOT JOBS OUT OF EN-TIT-LE-MENT!
OUR FAM-OUS-DAD/
GOT-US-OUR-JOBS!
OUR FAM-OUS-DAD/
GOT-US-OUR-JOBS!

while the Rhodes are a whole lot better, after seeing the usos vs the Wyatts, taught me 1 thing, when the going get tough, THEY CAN PERFORM AN ASS PULL!
Winner: not the belts creditability

WWE DIVA'S CHAMPIONSHIP
PAIGE (C) VS AJ LEE VS NIKKI BELLA
BRIE THINKS THAT NIKKI IS GOING TO BE IN THIS MATCH WHAT SHE WAS BEFORE GETTING HER MANICURED TALONS ON JOHN CENA: A NON ENTINTY!

BUT I NEVER TOLD ANYONE!

POINTLESS NON-TITLE MATCH1
MARK HUNGRY VS POO-SEV!
NEXT!

POINTLESS NON-TITLE MATCH 2
CHRIS JERICHO VS BLANDY BORE-TON
Orton is throwing the toys out of the pram again! he's now complaining that because he has non-stop title shots on tap!, that he's being overworked! So Triple H is going the big BABBA His Bottle, and Jericho will win this match.

POINTLESS NON-TILE MATCH
CATWOMAN SETH ROLLINS VS SUPER ROMAN REIGNS
Reigns will win this, only for rollins to return to do what's BEST-UH....FOR BUSINESS-UH!

Full results on Monday. if Lame-Arse wins my protest against his protest against internet writers will be over and my name will change back to ENLIGHTENED ON TWITTER! You can find me @RealEnli.

ANOTHER PROGRAM ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL THAT HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH HISTORY PRESENTS TNA: WORLD CUP 2014: SEVERE CONCUSSIONS BY REPEATED HEAD-DESKING!

yeah....
It was Pretty bad....
After Wasting 20 minutes in drafting the teams( Tna in Britain is shown on a commercial station so the show is broken up with ad breaks- I complained about this Too Many A Time!) here are the Teams


TEAM ANGLE
Kurt Angle, Mr Anderson, Sanada, Davey Richards, Madison Rayne
TEAM ROODE
Bobby Roode, the Cowboy James Storm, Samuel "the Creepy Reformed Bastard" Shaw, Kenny King, Angelina Love
TEAM YOUNG
Eric Young, Bully Ray, Gunner, Eddie Edwards, O.D.B (who has left the company this month, breaking the masquerade that this show is shiny and new. but as you know by now continuity is a 10-letter word and Dixie "Rich Idiot" Carter can't count that high, y'all!)
TEAM TURD
Ethan Midcarder the TURD!, Shag-nus, GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER!, Gail Kim, and Robbie E, Whose announcement of the last overall pick made Roode lose his shit laughing, So Robbie career is nothing more than a joke, compared to EC3 AND A GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER! What is wrong with this picture?

Anyway each match is worth 1 point-Because why have diversity when the same people turn up for 1 night only?- the first was very good I must admit- Eddie Edwards scored the upset of his career against Cowboy James Storm.

It's One night Only-So lets churn out Gail vs Maddy for the upteen Millionth time?

BUT NO!
IT GETS WORSE!
Because no-one takes Carrying BLOW-mance Seriously, Anderson and Sanada spent the whole match dancing, invading Zima's Dj Booth (Remember when Zima broke Jesse Soresen's neck and became the most hated man in wrestling?-DIXIE DOESN'T! BUT THEN SHE ALSO THOUGHT THE FANS IN UNIVERSAL STUDIOS WERE ON HER PAYROLL AND TWEETED THEM NOT TO CURSE!) Godderz was just terrible, remember this guy's finisher is a body slam is always generally confused when opponents kick out of the most academic of moves!

Yet another match we've seen before Eric Young vs Bobby Roode. Eric won this match. it was okay!

What was supposed to the second Captain's match between Ethan and Angle, was changed when Ethan swapped out with the man who may or may not have Boned his "Aunt" Dixie for a roster spot!-SHAGNUS! It was good to see the technical Magnus over "Soccer Yob" Magnus (CONTINUITY? FUCK THAT SHIT!) and is was an enjoyable match with angle countering the Magnus Opus into the Angle slam.

Next was Angelina Love versus O.D.B. By this point I just phoned it in. Earl Hebner was acting like a Dirty Old Man. I imagine him tempting ring-rats back to his with stolen merch. Love won.

Next was a man being pushed to the moon versus a tag wrestler-THE FUCK YOU THINK! AND QUELLE FUCKING SURPRISE, ETHAN MIDCARDER DIDN'T WIN CLEANLY! this prick fears winning cleanly just like Grado fears sunbeds! IT'S YERSEL!

This match was probably the reason Gunner is now working with Samuel Shaw. This match was pretty good though it looks like it was supposed to end with tables.

Here is the final score. The top 2 teams face each other in a 5 Person Elimination Match.
1-TEAM YOUNG 3PTS
~TEAM CARTER 3PTS
2-TEAM ANGLE 1PT
~TEAM ROODE 1PT

After dispatching each Knockout quickly-THEN WHY HAVE THEM IN THE MATCH?-Each elimination came at double quick time, as the producers and booking committee just became bored-And you know what? I don't blame them, Next month is TNA'S BIGGEST SHOW BOUND FOR GLORY! And if you were using this as your go home show for that event-Well, no one will buy it!

Come back here when hopefully, Night of Champions won't suck noodles! and prediction will come when all matches are confirmed!

Follow me on twitter at @RealEnli

Winter Schedule 2014

I'm Back after my Sabbatical, Fully charged and Ready to Go!

SCHEDULE FOR THE ENLIGHTENED PAGE

I love this time of year. As the year winds down to its climax (hur hur hur!), I know that my budget restraints will force me to know what ppv to review. For those who came in too late, I Don't do a full calendar year of PPVS! To compensate that fact, I do a theme month! (more on that later!)

• September the 10th-TNA WORLD CUP
• September the 22th- WWE Night of Champions
• October the 15th Bound for Glory

STARTER FOR TEN
This Years theme month is inspired by ITV's documentary series Come On down, About game shows. So I'm doing three countdowns of groups of gameshows.

These posts will be made sometime after the 15th of October and between Christmas.

• Starter for TEN- 10 GREATEST GAMESHOWS!
• HOME VERSION ONLY-10 GAMESHOWS YOU PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OFF!
• BOOBY PRIZES-THE 10 WORST GAMESHOWS EVER!

BRITISH BOOT CAMP
Tna British boot camp returns bigger, badder and hopefully better than ever in October! So by then i'll be too busy researching gameshows to do a proper review here. Which is why I SET UP MY TUMBLR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

BRITISH BOOT CAMP 2-EXCLUSIVLY ONLY ON ENLIGHTENEDTOWERS.TUMBLR.COM!

SCHEDULE FOR BOGGER BOX OFFICE

• TODAY! (1/9/14)-Eamonn Reviews Meet The Millers
• OCTOBER -Halloween Special-Eamonn Reviews Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
• November-Eamonn Reviews Pacific Rim
• December-Christmas Special-Eamonn Reviews Moshi Monsters the Movie!

So that it for 2014! I'll be spending December off site for Christmas returning on the 4th of January.
See you soon!
THAT IS ALL.

EAMONN