ALL MATCHES IN DESCENDING IMPORTANCE! (This is not the running order, this is the view of many on what matches are important, due to what title is on the line.)
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
JOHN FUCKING CENA VS BROCK "EAT SLEEP COLLECT PAYCHECK REPEAT" LESNER(C)
What a hero John cena is! Beating the shit out of an old, overweight man who is not a trained wrestler! I suppose it's up to me to tell you that the main event advertised for the uk tour in November is John Cena vs Seth Rollins for the wwe title, though it doesn't actually say WHO! the champion is....
Money on: Cena to Bring belt the home-Only for Rollins to cash in!
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!
DOLPH ZIGGLER(C) VS GOBSHITE FROM MTV!
Ever since starring in his TV MOVIE!, G.F.M.T.V has being more annoying than ever-why? because he achieved his goal-use wwe to get a mainstream film job! The Hades Touch that Got John Morrison fired and put Daniel Bryan in shitty gimmicks has now gotten on to Damien Sandow, who thanks to the trying to cash in on Cena, had his soul crushed by wwe soulcrushing status quo!
MONEY ON: ZIGGLER! WWE IS BEGINING TO WONDER ABOUT MIZ'S ABILTIY TO MASS EXUDICE WHOLE ARENAS!
WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
THE "CELTIC WASTER" LAME-ARSE! (C) VS CESARO
It's a Shameful thing, Lobster-head, that you have being sparsely defending this belt. But if I was Triple H's WorkOut Partner/LaundryBoy/Coffee Go-for, I'd be happy as a pig in Chardonnay too.
MONEY ON: CESARO, even If SenileVince thinks he should "go back to making chocolates!"
A POINTLESS TRINKLET PASS ABOUT BY THE 2ND AND 3RD GENERATION RING-BRATS!
THE BOO-SUCKS! (C) VS THE WOADS BWODDERTH!
IF you wonder what the Usos chant in Samoan before there matches they say this:
ALL CREDABILTY HAS JUST WENT/
WE GOT JOBS OUT OF EN-TIT-LE-MENT!
OUR FAM-OUS-DAD/
GOT-US-OUR-JOBS!
OUR FAM-OUS-DAD/
GOT-US-OUR-JOBS!
while the Rhodes are a whole lot better, after seeing the usos vs the Wyatts, taught me 1 thing, when the going get tough, THEY CAN PERFORM AN ASS PULL!
Winner: not the belts creditability
WWE DIVA'S CHAMPIONSHIP
PAIGE (C) VS AJ LEE VS NIKKI BELLA
BRIE THINKS THAT NIKKI IS GOING TO BE IN THIS MATCH WHAT SHE WAS BEFORE GETTING HER MANICURED TALONS ON JOHN CENA: A NON ENTINTY!
BUT I NEVER TOLD ANYONE!
POINTLESS NON-TITLE MATCH1
MARK HUNGRY VS POO-SEV!
NEXT!
POINTLESS NON-TITLE MATCH 2
CHRIS JERICHO VS BLANDY BORE-TON
Orton is throwing the toys out of the pram again! he's now complaining that because he has non-stop title shots on tap!, that he's being overworked! So Triple H is going the big BABBA His Bottle, and Jericho will win this match.
POINTLESS NON-TILE MATCH
Reigns will win this, only for rollins to return to do what's BEST-UH....FOR BUSINESS-UH!
Full results on Monday. if Lame-Arse wins my protest against his protest against internet writers will be over and my name will change back to ENLIGHTENED ON TWITTER! You can find me @RealEnli.
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