A HICK COMPANY WHERE A RUBBER CHICKEN IS MORE OVER THAN THE WRESTLERS PRESENTS: TNA: HARDCORE JUSTICE 2015: RUBBER CHICKEN FTW!

(BLEARY-EYED, EAMONN STARES AT HIS COFFEE)
Did someone spike this?

I mean, did other people see what i saw last night?

Okay, 1st match was Ladder match for number 1 contenders to the tag titles, The Magically healed broken foot of Eddie Edwards(!) versus Revolution members The Less than Average Muta and Jock-Strap Face!....and why even bother? you know the wolves won this match because they used that championship contract to win the titles, And with injury and Sanada now gone from the revolution group, i didn't have to wait until Samoa Joe left for cracks on continuity to appear!

BUT NO!
IT GETS WORSE!
The Premise of the item On a Pole match, is that whoever gets the item, has total control to use that weapon? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO THE REDNECK THAT BOOKED A CLEAN PIN IN A BLOODLESS WEAPON MATCH?

BUT NO!!
IT GETS WORSE!!
Open Challenge Tables match made by Eric Young, and Management wants to feed Gunner down our throats. Gunner is not ready! Eric wins in spectacular fashion, piledriving gunner into a table.

BUT NO!
IT GETS....SLIGHTLY BETTER!
Knockout street fight and the recently released Havok put on a show with the always entertaining Gail Kim. This match was the perfect tonic for what i had seen....and what i was going to see 2 matches later!

Fatt Lardy beat FLAByss is a Monster's Ball. If it was a Pie-Eating Contest, We'd all be screwed!

BUT NO!!!
IT GETS WORSE!!!
See that title, well all night one fan had bought in a rubber chicken and the fans around him were chanting use the chicken, which many wrestlers did, but it got old so fast in this battle royal where wrestlers bought weapons. And Crazy Steve filled the canvas with...Gummy Bears! For those wondering this is the order of entry and their weapon of choice

1. ROBBIE E-SELFIE STICK
2. CRAZY STEVE-BAG OF GUMMY BEARS
3. GOBSHITE FROM BIG BROTHER-BASEBALL BAT
4. CHRIS MELENDEZ-NIGHTSTICK
5. SAMUEL "THE CREEPY BASTARD" SHAW-WIRE
6. KHOYA- REVOLUTION FLAG
7. CRIMSON-BIN LID
8. BORE-US CLAY-CHAIN
9. KNUX-WALKING CANE
10. JAMES STORM-BULL ROPE
11. DJ ZIMA ION-HAIRSPRAY
12. MR. ANDERSON-RING ANNOUNCER'S MICROPHONE

WINNER: STORM!

BUT NO!!!!
IT GETS WORSE!!!!
It you are building up a shit like Ethan Midcarder the TURD! With a winning streak, then chances are you are not going to make him lose on a pre-recorded show. anyway, first blood match and closing minutes, ref bump, run in and you can play this one by ear, since 18 months ago, it's almost sickening. By the way, why is Carter's left arm in a brace-ARSEHOLE HASN'T BUSTED A GRAPE IN HIS CAREER, Or did he get that injury carrying Daniel Bryan's bags in NXT?

2 Main events. Bram beat Tommy Dreamer. Again. And Bobby Roode beat Bobby Lashley in a Last Man Standing Match.Again!

Join me on my Tumbler page (enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com) on Monday the 27th, for Extreme Rules discussion on my new review format-SECOND HAND SMOKE!

See you then!