It's time, What Are You Waiting For? Welcome to the longest Single Wrestlemania ever! An Epic 5 hours! (not counting the 2 hour Pre-show Before Hand!) But Does Quanity mean Quality
In the Preshow, Kalisto Retained the U.S Title from Steriodback. The 10 Diva clusterfuck ended with Team Brie getting the win after Brie applied the Yes Lock. Eva was a non-entity! And of Course since Naomi's team lost, the fan base started up again on twitter! Look, yes she is talented, but the reason she is not getting title shots is because she got her priorities wrong and is focusing on this crappy E! SHOW. But no, the fan base believe it's another reason! YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING!
Naomi fan base be like...
The Boo-sucks Defeated the Dudleys to no Fanfare from anybody!
Now to the Main show, Who else was shocked that Zack Ryder won the ladder match? oh and Sin Cara, you sly dog! you are wearing black for weeks and then you wear an angelic theme costume last night! AS IF IT WASN'T SO OVIVIOUS YOU ARE TURNING HEEL TONIGHT! Anyway, congrats to Zack Ryder! I Never Lost Faith In You, WWWYKI!
Jericho won Styles Jericho 4 in a fantastic Match! But the reason they are two a piece, guess what's the main event on Raw in London? YEP! STYLES/JERICHO 5!
Despite jumping out of giant box of cereal dressed as Saiyin Warriors (BECAUSE CONTEXT...IS BOOTY!) It wasn't enough to beat the League Of Evil Foriegners it was now a 6 man none title match, Barrett's departure must be more imminent than we thought! Barrett challenged anyone to a another Match, and out came Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Stone Cold to wail on the "Lads"
Brock Lesner Defeated Ambrose in the most Anticlimatic Street Fight Ever!
After the Hall of fame Class, all worthy of the honour this year, by the way, we saw the announcement from Amy Dumas that the Divas Title is retired, and Replaced by the WWE WORLD WOMEN'S TITLE! This match stole the entire show! As such, It's only fair to do a Full Play-by-play!
TRIPLE THREATDIVA'S FEMALE SUPERSTAR'S MATCH FOR THE
1ST EVER WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
I said on twitter that since 2016 is the Centinary of My Country's Freedom! That my Country Woman should come out in Rebel Gear. She came out wearing a green comordore's hat and a black trench coat, the uniform of Nationalist's! Sasha was sang to the ring by her cousin Snoop Dog! And Charlotte wore a Robe, made from her Father, Ric Flair's Retirement Robe, After the Introductions and all the girls cheered, It seems that their is a remit on the Commentators Not to call them Divas anymore, as they were now referred as "ladies" or "FEMALE SUPERSTARS!"
THIS MADE ME HAPPY!
Quick pins to start as the 3 ladies begin the feeling process! Sasha gets thrown out by Charlotte and Becky takes a Rude Awakening in the Ropes! Drop Kick By Becky, and Disarm Her on Charlotte, Roll up forces Becky to release, Figure Four, but the damage done on Charlotte's arm means he can't bridge into the Figure 8! FROM NOWHERE! Banks hits both competitors with a Frog Splash! Sasha Wearing Gear that looks like those of Eddie Guerrero! Lynch takes out Flair who has being playing spoiler all this match, Moonsault by Lynch on Sasha, after being outside to check on her father, Charlotte is back with a Double Natural Selection, Sense of Desperation as Charlotte tries to repeatedly pin her adversaries. Sasha has Flair in a Electric Chair, which Lynch Assists with a drop kick. All 3 hit their respective finishers, to no avail, Until Ric trips up Sasha to stop her interfering with the finish.
WINNER AND THE NEW WWE WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION: CHARLOTTE!
Shane MacMahon Shown Incredible Heart and a whole lot of guts (including attemping to Hit the Leap Of Faith from the top of the Cell), but it wasn't enough!
PUSH BORING CORBERG! HE'S A MASTODON! I'M VINCE MACAMHON DAMMIT!
THIS YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA STAR, NEXT YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA SUN, WHAT'S 34 GOING TO BE CALLED, WRESTLEMANIA BLACK HOLE? OH THERE'S ME TALKING ABOUT HOW BADLY USED NAOMI IS!
After being cheered by cheerleaders, the Rock read the attendance record, only for the Wyatt's to come out, but we had another Suprise, as Rock was dressed to wrestle under his civvies, Beating Erick Rowan in 6 seconds, a new Mania Record!
AND THEN THE MAIN EVENT...
for some Reason Triple H's entrance...was a Fetish Video!, Seriously Stephanie was Dressed in the Kind of Leather Gear Not even the most Heelish Diva's would think of Wearing, calling people worms and filth as she was surrounded by Gimps dressed Hunt-uh's suits! After the chorus of Pelting and Deafening Boos the entire match Plodded at a slow pace! Roman Put us all out of our Misery by winning, but not before spearing, Steph, Because Roman is a Good Guy!
Well, that's it I'm gonna eat Some ICEPOPS to deal with this caffiene Hangover, But i will be watch and live Tweeting Tonight's Raw!
See you soon!
In the Preshow, Kalisto Retained the U.S Title from Steriodback. The 10 Diva clusterfuck ended with Team Brie getting the win after Brie applied the Yes Lock. Eva was a non-entity! And of Course since Naomi's team lost, the fan base started up again on twitter! Look, yes she is talented, but the reason she is not getting title shots is because she got her priorities wrong and is focusing on this crappy E! SHOW. But no, the fan base believe it's another reason! YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING!
Naomi fan base be like...
The Boo-sucks Defeated the Dudleys to no Fanfare from anybody!
Now to the Main show, Who else was shocked that Zack Ryder won the ladder match? oh and Sin Cara, you sly dog! you are wearing black for weeks and then you wear an angelic theme costume last night! AS IF IT WASN'T SO OVIVIOUS YOU ARE TURNING HEEL TONIGHT! Anyway, congrats to Zack Ryder! I Never Lost Faith In You, WWWYKI!
Jericho won Styles Jericho 4 in a fantastic Match! But the reason they are two a piece, guess what's the main event on Raw in London? YEP! STYLES/JERICHO 5!
Despite jumping out of giant box of cereal dressed as Saiyin Warriors (BECAUSE CONTEXT...IS BOOTY!) It wasn't enough to beat the League Of Evil Foriegners it was now a 6 man none title match, Barrett's departure must be more imminent than we thought! Barrett challenged anyone to a another Match, and out came Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Stone Cold to wail on the "Lads"
Brock Lesner Defeated Ambrose in the most Anticlimatic Street Fight Ever!
After the Hall of fame Class, all worthy of the honour this year, by the way, we saw the announcement from Amy Dumas that the Divas Title is retired, and Replaced by the WWE WORLD WOMEN'S TITLE! This match stole the entire show! As such, It's only fair to do a Full Play-by-play!
TRIPLE THREAT
1ST EVER WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
I said on twitter that since 2016 is the Centinary of My Country's Freedom! That my Country Woman should come out in Rebel Gear. She came out wearing a green comordore's hat and a black trench coat, the uniform of Nationalist's! Sasha was sang to the ring by her cousin Snoop Dog! And Charlotte wore a Robe, made from her Father, Ric Flair's Retirement Robe, After the Introductions and all the girls cheered, It seems that their is a remit on the Commentators Not to call them Divas anymore, as they were now referred as "ladies" or "FEMALE SUPERSTARS!"
THIS MADE ME HAPPY!
Quick pins to start as the 3 ladies begin the feeling process! Sasha gets thrown out by Charlotte and Becky takes a Rude Awakening in the Ropes! Drop Kick By Becky, and Disarm Her on Charlotte, Roll up forces Becky to release, Figure Four, but the damage done on Charlotte's arm means he can't bridge into the Figure 8! FROM NOWHERE! Banks hits both competitors with a Frog Splash! Sasha Wearing Gear that looks like those of Eddie Guerrero! Lynch takes out Flair who has being playing spoiler all this match, Moonsault by Lynch on Sasha, after being outside to check on her father, Charlotte is back with a Double Natural Selection, Sense of Desperation as Charlotte tries to repeatedly pin her adversaries. Sasha has Flair in a Electric Chair, which Lynch Assists with a drop kick. All 3 hit their respective finishers, to no avail, Until Ric trips up Sasha to stop her interfering with the finish.
WINNER AND THE NEW WWE WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION: CHARLOTTE!
Shane MacMahon Shown Incredible Heart and a whole lot of guts (including attemping to Hit the Leap Of Faith from the top of the Cell), but it wasn't enough!
PUSH BORING CORBERG! HE'S A MASTODON! I'M VINCE MACAMHON DAMMIT!
THIS YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA STAR, NEXT YEAR IS WRESTLEMANIA SUN, WHAT'S 34 GOING TO BE CALLED, WRESTLEMANIA BLACK HOLE? OH THERE'S ME TALKING ABOUT HOW BADLY USED NAOMI IS!
After being cheered by cheerleaders, the Rock read the attendance record, only for the Wyatt's to come out, but we had another Suprise, as Rock was dressed to wrestle under his civvies, Beating Erick Rowan in 6 seconds, a new Mania Record!
AND THEN THE MAIN EVENT...
for some Reason Triple H's entrance...was a Fetish Video!, Seriously Stephanie was Dressed in the Kind of Leather Gear Not even the most Heelish Diva's would think of Wearing, calling people worms and filth as she was surrounded by Gimps dressed Hunt-uh's suits! After the chorus of Pelting and Deafening Boos the entire match Plodded at a slow pace! Roman Put us all out of our Misery by winning, but not before spearing, Steph, Because Roman is a Good Guy!
Well, that's it I'm gonna eat Some ICEPOPS to deal with this caffiene Hangover, But i will be watch and live Tweeting Tonight's Raw!
See you soon!
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