IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOANIE "CHYNA" LAURER
1969-2016
A month after the greatest Women's match in Recent History, and a week after the the death of a true trailblazer in the annuls of women's wrestling. TNA FINALLY! returns in kind, with it's all female tournament. I've only ever reviewed this show once, and that's because the show follows a formula, knockout faces indy girl, indy girl jobs! Only 3 women bucked the trend, Jackie Moore-because she's a veteren, Havoc, because she signed a contract, and Reby, because she is boningBIG MONEY ICONIC MATT HARDY BIG DINNERS MORONIC FATT LARDY!
Speaking of Fomula, Once again JB is interuptted by the Heel's with the biggest X-pac Heat! this year it's the Underwhelming Miracle and his Trophy Wife! who undermine the girls every word and action, Let's Meet the Girls and their Opponent's in no particular Order:
LAURA DENNIS-The Recently Hired "Cherry Bomb" Sucks up to the Bennets, this is because she is *SPOILER Now called Ally is Maria's assistant after she showed that any idiot can climb a ladder!* She will face the recently released Velvet Sky
JAMIE JAMESON: Who Borash calls "Jamie Jackson" who is well built and flexes with Mike Bennett. She will face Martibelle? Marti-Belle? Marty Bell, however it's Spelt , she's facing her!
VEDA SCOTT: Who looks like a Porn version of Velma from Scooby Doo! She will Face Rosemary in Her in-ring Debut!
BARBI HAYDEN: Who looks like a Curvy pin-up Girl who hogs the camera, and is a local Orlandite! She will Face...Raquel? who the fuck is...oh it's the Brazillian Ring Rat From Tough Enough!I FORGOT SHE STILL WORKED HERE!
LEVA BATES: WHO GETS A MASSIVE POP! she will face the Current Knockout's Champion, Jade
DEONNA: at 21, is the youngest girl of the group, she will face Madison Rayne
SHELLY MARTINEZ: Who is only back for the cheques from Dixie that bounced since the last time she was in TNA! And she is looking Dog-Rough, the can't even afford Wrestling Gear, she's wrestling in a Swimsuit and Halloween Makeup! this will be easy for her, she's facing the Low level Enemy of the Dollhouse, the Girl who was only hired so Christy can have a friend from work she could drink with, Rebel! Because Rebel has not Won a Match, AND NEVER WILL!
ALLYSIN (B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ...KEWL!) KAY: *Spoiler: Now signed and now calling herself Sienna*) Kay says that she is as classy as Maria because "When she Drinks her Beer can, she holds it Pinkies out!" that was pretty funny! she will face Gail Kim in our 1st match!
Gail Kim lost to Allysin by Count out after Maria tookout Gail on the outside. And That ending was not Needed! Because Gail was Totally Destroyed by the Powerhouse That is Kay! It was so Onesided You'd think it wasn't Gail getting squashed! yeah Allysin qualifies to the Gauntlet Main Event, though the Finish was Bullshit! Gail challenges the Bennetts to a Mixed Tag Later with a mystery partner!
Speaking of Miracles, I JUST SAW ONE!
REBEL WON A MATCH!
THIS IS AMAZING! I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE!
HEY, OPRAH! REBEL WON A MATCH!
HEY DOUG! REBEL WON A MATCH!
HEY ELLIS!
REBEL WON A MATCH!
DON'T FORGET TO TELL YOUR PETS!
John Ritland , Your rebuttal to Rebel actually winning a match?
https://t.co/Njhdp1zC8w
YEAH PROBABLY NOT!
REBEL WINNING A MATCH? ISN'T THAT ONE OF THE SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE?
Laura Dennis defeated Velvet Sky in a match that was a combination of Laura being world Class and Sky phoning it in! One complaint, What's with Laura and the high Pitched, almost orgasmic squeels with she is hit! I'm watching this in Ireland in the Early hours at it's a little embarrasing! Still nice back and forth, Dennis can get a great match from anyone!
MATCH OF THE NIGHT!
When people heard that It was Leva vs Jade, Internet be like...
Jade won after Leva slipped on the turnbuckle, but prior to another screwy finish, this Match was amazing and I promise not to use the above picture ever again!
Rosemary Mortal Kombated and curb stomped the red hair dye out of Veda's head! Rosemary looking good in her in ring debut! also Rosemary has a bit of a following, and maybe because she looks a lot like Bayley in Makeup!
Next Barbi Hayden Introduced her "friend" in the audience, who she refferred to as "Trina" even though this woman was not in that seat at ringside before and after this match. Yes she was a plant. And helped Barbi win against Raquel in another screwy finish.
You are facing the Ring Rat from Tough Enough, think you can take her!
Madison Rayne vs Deonna was a pedistrian affair. Deonna kept shaking Madison's hand for some reason. I Went to the kitchen to make a bowl of Spicegetthi and the Match was already over. Madison gets the final spot in the Gauntlet!
Gail Revealed her Mystery Partner to Be....DJ Z?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....WELL OF COURSE THEY LOST!
Jade won the Gauntlet for the Queen of the Knockout Tiara and Sash...though Money would have being nice too!
ORDER OF ENTRY
because of the bank Holiday and the fact that doing 2 shows a week between themselves is a strain on my health, I will NOT be doing PAYBACK, but i will have predictions on Wednesday, the rest of the world will see Victory Road the friday before Extreme Rules, but Britain will see Victory Road the day before! as such, i will only review Victory Road Next Month, as The ppv is only on the Network and i don't have the network! SO until Next month, I HAVE BEING "ENLIGHTENED" EAMONN BERMINGHAM AND YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AT @RealEnli
CREDITS
I would like to thank my Friend, John Ritland, who you can follow at @RebourneAgain on twitter, for taking time out of his busy schedule to supply his cameo for this review.
John, a chara, a Cead mBhilla Failte Rombh!
(My friend a Thousand Thank Yous!)
1969-2016
A month after the greatest Women's match in Recent History, and a week after the the death of a true trailblazer in the annuls of women's wrestling. TNA FINALLY! returns in kind, with it's all female tournament. I've only ever reviewed this show once, and that's because the show follows a formula, knockout faces indy girl, indy girl jobs! Only 3 women bucked the trend, Jackie Moore-because she's a veteren, Havoc, because she signed a contract, and Reby, because she is boning
Speaking of Fomula, Once again JB is interuptted by the Heel's with the biggest X-pac Heat! this year it's the Underwhelming Miracle and his Trophy Wife! who undermine the girls every word and action, Let's Meet the Girls and their Opponent's in no particular Order:
LAURA DENNIS-The Recently Hired "Cherry Bomb" Sucks up to the Bennets, this is because she is *SPOILER Now called Ally is Maria's assistant after she showed that any idiot can climb a ladder!* She will face the recently released Velvet Sky
JAMIE JAMESON: Who Borash calls "Jamie Jackson" who is well built and flexes with Mike Bennett. She will face Martibelle? Marti-Belle? Marty Bell, however it's Spelt , she's facing her!
VEDA SCOTT: Who looks like a Porn version of Velma from Scooby Doo! She will Face Rosemary in Her in-ring Debut!
BARBI HAYDEN: Who looks like a Curvy pin-up Girl who hogs the camera, and is a local Orlandite! She will Face...Raquel? who the fuck is...oh it's the Brazillian Ring Rat From Tough Enough!I FORGOT SHE STILL WORKED HERE!
LEVA BATES: WHO GETS A MASSIVE POP! she will face the Current Knockout's Champion, Jade
DEONNA: at 21, is the youngest girl of the group, she will face Madison Rayne
SHELLY MARTINEZ: Who is only back for the cheques from Dixie that bounced since the last time she was in TNA! And she is looking Dog-Rough, the can't even afford Wrestling Gear, she's wrestling in a Swimsuit and Halloween Makeup! this will be easy for her, she's facing the Low level Enemy of the Dollhouse, the Girl who was only hired so Christy can have a friend from work she could drink with, Rebel! Because Rebel has not Won a Match, AND NEVER WILL!
ALLYSIN (B-COZ PUR LITRA-C IZ...KEWL!) KAY: *Spoiler: Now signed and now calling herself Sienna*) Kay says that she is as classy as Maria because "When she Drinks her Beer can, she holds it Pinkies out!" that was pretty funny! she will face Gail Kim in our 1st match!
Gail Kim lost to Allysin by Count out after Maria tookout Gail on the outside. And That ending was not Needed! Because Gail was Totally Destroyed by the Powerhouse That is Kay! It was so Onesided You'd think it wasn't Gail getting squashed! yeah Allysin qualifies to the Gauntlet Main Event, though the Finish was Bullshit! Gail challenges the Bennetts to a Mixed Tag Later with a mystery partner!
Speaking of Miracles, I JUST SAW ONE!
REBEL WON A MATCH!
THIS IS AMAZING! I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE!
HEY, OPRAH! REBEL WON A MATCH!
HEY DOUG! REBEL WON A MATCH!
HEY ELLIS!
REBEL WON A MATCH!
DON'T FORGET TO TELL YOUR PETS!
John Ritland , Your rebuttal to Rebel actually winning a match?
https://t.co/Njhdp1zC8w
YEAH PROBABLY NOT!
REBEL WINNING A MATCH? ISN'T THAT ONE OF THE SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE?
Laura Dennis defeated Velvet Sky in a match that was a combination of Laura being world Class and Sky phoning it in! One complaint, What's with Laura and the high Pitched, almost orgasmic squeels with she is hit! I'm watching this in Ireland in the Early hours at it's a little embarrasing! Still nice back and forth, Dennis can get a great match from anyone!
MATCH OF THE NIGHT!
When people heard that It was Leva vs Jade, Internet be like...
Jade won after Leva slipped on the turnbuckle, but prior to another screwy finish, this Match was amazing and I promise not to use the above picture ever again!
Rosemary Mortal Kombated and curb stomped the red hair dye out of Veda's head! Rosemary looking good in her in ring debut! also Rosemary has a bit of a following, and maybe because she looks a lot like Bayley in Makeup!
Next Barbi Hayden Introduced her "friend" in the audience, who she refferred to as "Trina" even though this woman was not in that seat at ringside before and after this match. Yes she was a plant. And helped Barbi win against Raquel in another screwy finish.
You are facing the Ring Rat from Tough Enough, think you can take her!
Madison Rayne vs Deonna was a pedistrian affair. Deonna kept shaking Madison's hand for some reason. I Went to the kitchen to make a bowl of Spicegetthi and the Match was already over. Madison gets the final spot in the Gauntlet!
Gail Revealed her Mystery Partner to Be....DJ Z?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....WELL OF COURSE THEY LOST!
Jade won the Gauntlet for the Queen of the Knockout Tiara and Sash...though Money would have being nice too!
ORDER OF ENTRY
- BARBI
- MARTI
- MADDIE
- REBEL
- LAURA
- ALLYSIN
- ROSEMARY
- JADE
- BARBI
- LAURA
- REBEL LOST A MATCH AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!
- ROSEMARY AND ALYSIN
- MARTI
- MADISON BY PINFALL!
because of the bank Holiday and the fact that doing 2 shows a week between themselves is a strain on my health, I will NOT be doing PAYBACK, but i will have predictions on Wednesday, the rest of the world will see Victory Road the friday before Extreme Rules, but Britain will see Victory Road the day before! as such, i will only review Victory Road Next Month, as The ppv is only on the Network and i don't have the network! SO until Next month, I HAVE BEING "ENLIGHTENED" EAMONN BERMINGHAM AND YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AT @RealEnli
CREDITS
I would like to thank my Friend, John Ritland, who you can follow at @RebourneAgain on twitter, for taking time out of his busy schedule to supply his cameo for this review.
John, a chara, a Cead mBhilla Failte Rombh!
(My friend a Thousand Thank Yous!)
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