A MONTH BEFORE SLAMMIVERSARY, WE HAVE A PPV THAT HAS BEING KEPT SECRET, SO FOR ONCE I'M GOING IN BLIND!
This show was suppose to be a tournament for entry into battle royal for a future title shot! but instead that was made into a Dark Main Event! Drake/EC3 is tonight's main event, because frankly, the last 2 One Night Only had that match for it's main event, granted Joker's wild was for money, and knockdown was an all female battle royale, but if you eat the same meal every day, you lose the taste for it!
Anyway, this is gonna be quick! Tomorrow I have a Special Edition of Second Hand Smoke that will cover Extreme Rules and the Recent Releases!
As always X division action starts off as the newest member of The Helms Dynasty, Andrew Everett under the tutelage of the legendary G.S. Helms ...and Zima Ion was also there! Okay that's mean, But face it! when Gregory Helms said "bring out the ENHANCEMENT!" and Zima was the 1st out, no one booed they nodded with agreement! Everett got the W! with the 450! Keep an Eye on this Everett, chap! in 5 years he could be World Champion!
VELVET SKY CAME BACK(!)
Days after wrestling her last match, she appeared on a show to be aired as "brand new" days later, ok maybe it's not as bad as last year's batch of One night onlys! but it's still some very confused continuity! Anyway Marti Bell's new gimmick is that she now speaking 5th class Spanish and translated what she said in English, In case you don't have eyes in yer head that couldn't see she is Hispanic! Anyway this match was a farce! Marti got in Hebner's faces and the old pervert kissed her and had a heart attack! Velvet covered Marti in such a way that the ref would she the always exposed Panties of Sky, and Be revived enough from the shock to count the pin!
But then it got worse!
Enter from Philadelphia, Mississippi, The World Debut of Beauregard, an top heavy, bearded and mulletted Red neck Slob who makes his entrance to Bluegrass whilst riding an invisible Horse and claiming to rid the world of "Hooliginosity" in the world, Starting with Sgt. Chris Melendez! WHAT? After claiming that every soldier that doesn't die in combat is a coward! (WHAT??!?) Beauregard proceeded to steal Chris' Prosthetic Leg and Play it like a Guitar! Sarge even on one leg, defeated this piece of Southern Fried Stupidity!
Let That be a Life Lesson-FIRST IMPRESSION'S MATTER!
Next was Bram Vs James Storm, and Storm have picked the right approach for these shows, have fun because they don't matter! Storm Won and celebrated heartily with the fans!
Next where the Former French Legionnaires Now called the Tribunal! AKA Truth Co-mission 2.0! After deriding the crowd for calling them cowards out comes the BLOW-mance as the all American faces, those Jesse's Face turn is complete! BLOWMANCE WON! Also Marcus Louis' New Name is Baron Dax, While Sylvester LeFort's new name is Bastille Baraka!
YES I KNOW THERE IS BOTH A LINKARA AND A MORTAL KOMBAT JOKE WAITING TO BE MADE HERE!
BOBBY ROODE CAME BACK! But that's not the only bit of Discontinuity! How about a repackage Wrestler who hasn't debuted yet, Wrestling in his old gear, with his old name on them as Jeremy Borash announce him as his old name "Pepper Parks" and in Post Production calls him his new name on Commentary -"Braxton Sutter!" And Braxton is such a stupid name, i keep callin' him "Branston" and when i do my stomach instantly craves this!
anyway good match but the discontinuity was too off-putting!
Speaking of Offputting all this allusion to pickles made me so hungry i ate and overslept through the main Event of Eli Drake and "THE BAG CARRYING MACHINE!" ETHAN MIDCARDER! but ec3 winning was a foregone conclusion. The Wresling Wiki Confirms it so!
OK. DONE!
TOMORROW I WILL HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF SECOND HAND SMOKE ON enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com covering Extreme Rules and the recent releases. And this time Next week I'm shaking things up with a review of The Summer Festival editions of Pringles as this year's taste test!
If like this and what to know more, of just want to say hi! drop me a line at @RealEnli on twitter! I follow back though if you are a bot i will block you!
See you soon!
This show was suppose to be a tournament for entry into battle royal for a future title shot! but instead that was made into a Dark Main Event! Drake/EC3 is tonight's main event, because frankly, the last 2 One Night Only had that match for it's main event, granted Joker's wild was for money, and knockdown was an all female battle royale, but if you eat the same meal every day, you lose the taste for it!
Anyway, this is gonna be quick! Tomorrow I have a Special Edition of Second Hand Smoke that will cover Extreme Rules and the Recent Releases!
As always X division action starts off as the newest member of The Helms Dynasty, Andrew Everett under the tutelage of the legendary G.S. Helms ...and Zima Ion was also there! Okay that's mean, But face it! when Gregory Helms said "bring out the ENHANCEMENT!" and Zima was the 1st out, no one booed they nodded with agreement! Everett got the W! with the 450! Keep an Eye on this Everett, chap! in 5 years he could be World Champion!
VELVET SKY CAME BACK(!)
Days after wrestling her last match, she appeared on a show to be aired as "brand new" days later, ok maybe it's not as bad as last year's batch of One night onlys! but it's still some very confused continuity! Anyway Marti Bell's new gimmick is that she now speaking 5th class Spanish and translated what she said in English, In case you don't have eyes in yer head that couldn't see she is Hispanic! Anyway this match was a farce! Marti got in Hebner's faces and the old pervert kissed her and had a heart attack! Velvet covered Marti in such a way that the ref would she the always exposed Panties of Sky, and Be revived enough from the shock to count the pin!
But then it got worse!
Enter from Philadelphia, Mississippi, The World Debut of Beauregard, an top heavy, bearded and mulletted Red neck Slob who makes his entrance to Bluegrass whilst riding an invisible Horse and claiming to rid the world of "Hooliginosity" in the world, Starting with Sgt. Chris Melendez! WHAT? After claiming that every soldier that doesn't die in combat is a coward! (WHAT??!?) Beauregard proceeded to steal Chris' Prosthetic Leg and Play it like a Guitar! Sarge even on one leg, defeated this piece of Southern Fried Stupidity!
Let That be a Life Lesson-FIRST IMPRESSION'S MATTER!
Next was Bram Vs James Storm, and Storm have picked the right approach for these shows, have fun because they don't matter! Storm Won and celebrated heartily with the fans!
Next where the Former French Legionnaires Now called the Tribunal! AKA Truth Co-mission 2.0! After deriding the crowd for calling them cowards out comes the BLOW-mance as the all American faces, those Jesse's Face turn is complete! BLOWMANCE WON! Also Marcus Louis' New Name is Baron Dax, While Sylvester LeFort's new name is Bastille Baraka!
YES I KNOW THERE IS BOTH A LINKARA AND A MORTAL KOMBAT JOKE WAITING TO BE MADE HERE!
BOBBY ROODE CAME BACK! But that's not the only bit of Discontinuity! How about a repackage Wrestler who hasn't debuted yet, Wrestling in his old gear, with his old name on them as Jeremy Borash announce him as his old name "Pepper Parks" and in Post Production calls him his new name on Commentary -"Braxton Sutter!" And Braxton is such a stupid name, i keep callin' him "Branston" and when i do my stomach instantly craves this!
anyway good match but the discontinuity was too off-putting!
Speaking of Offputting all this allusion to pickles made me so hungry i ate and overslept through the main Event of Eli Drake and "THE BAG CARRYING MACHINE!" ETHAN MIDCARDER! but ec3 winning was a foregone conclusion. The Wresling Wiki Confirms it so!
OK. DONE!
TOMORROW I WILL HAVE A SPECIAL EDITION OF SECOND HAND SMOKE ON enlightenedtowers.tumblr.com covering Extreme Rules and the recent releases. And this time Next week I'm shaking things up with a review of The Summer Festival editions of Pringles as this year's taste test!
If like this and what to know more, of just want to say hi! drop me a line at @RealEnli on twitter! I follow back though if you are a bot i will block you!
See you soon!
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