NYC maybe the City That Never Sleeps. Do you know who Else Doesn't Sleep? Your Pal Enlightened! So let's get this 7 hour Emotional Rollercoaster in the History Books!
On The Kick Off show, Because Vince would Rather sell Slam City to Sky than give British tv rights to 205 live! Buddy Murphy lost the Cruiserweight Title to former Friend Tony Nese! Nese Knows a thing about muscle Gain, maybe he can grow a personality!
Next was the Queen of the Jobbers Battle Royal, won by Camel-Toe! And you know what? Give Carmella the Useless Uterus (Try saying that 10 times fast!) If they had given Asuka the win after taking the belt off her-BOI!
And in the King of the Jobbers Battle Royale, Braun won like we thought he would, Demolishing SNL Vanilla Flavoured Jackass and SNL Chocolate Flavoured Jackass last!
And Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins are the new Tag Team Champions finally giving Hawkins Closure on his 2 year, 200+ losing streak.
....They're going to lose the belts tonight and get future endevoured in Next Month's spring clean, aren't they?
To the main show which means, i only watched 5 and 1/2 hours of a 7 AND A HALF SHOW, We open with Alexa Bliss and all her Wardrobe Changes! Alexa promised us a moment, by Snapping her fingers, ZA WURLDO! Style, but instead of time stopping, we went backwards as #RacistGrandpa That Ole HACK Hogan Returned...only to be interrupted by Paul Heymen waling out in a bad mood!
Heyman demands that if Brock can't be the Main event, he demands his match to right Now! And here we Go! The 1st belt of the main show is one devalued out of existence, almost! After Typical Cheap Bitch Moves from Bork, Rollins Rallied, Using 3 Curb Stomps back to back, And thus, the wwe Universal Championship returns to Raw!
Randy Orton and AJ Styles Put on a good Match, But they always do! Nicely Paced, this was a sleeper hit!
Also Quick Paced was the 4-way for the SmackTeam TagDown Championships, as After a Pointless Walk by Lacey "JonBenet" Evans, The Usos faced Black/Ricochet , the Bar and League of Evil Foreigners 2.0, PAL! How did Ricochet get out of that 7 man tower of power unscathed is anyone guess! Usos Retained Despite the odds!
WORST MATCH OF THE NIGHT!
Shane Macmahon, who Is dA bESSER rASSLER eN dA wURL! Bet GOBSHITE FROM MTV...Landing on top of Miz' own Superplex!
Because of Jonn Ritland's Royal Rumble Game, I am not allowed to say anything bad about Billy Kay Til August!, But I'll saw that to say this, I am Glad a Team with real Chemistry took the belts, everyone else better step!
Midway the strange decision to put the WWE championship Here! Did Kofi Unveil a New Finisher? Yeah he Did a Package Driver/ Falcon Arrow thing that got a close near fall. It was a grueling tete-a-tete, But in a result were i can say i was wrong, Kofi won the newly reinstated WWE championship!
Blink and you'll miss it, Joe retained against Rey Mysterio!
DREW MADE ROMAN LOOK STRONG!
For 2 years Straight, John Cena Got in Elias' Business, and for the second Year, Elias Got Buried!
In an Ugly Colostomy Bag of A match, Triple H defeated Batista in match that had Pliers on finger joints , that had Batista's Nose ring pulled out a second pair of pliers, Sledge hammers but it was the return of Ric Flair who help Haitch get the win!
You may not like it, but I predicted that Baron Corbin would win against Kurt Angle in the former's Retirement Match!
Blink and you'll miss it, but Balor(HISS!) And his Spoopy Makeup bet Bobby Lashley for the IC belt. I think this was a record for the Most Title changes at a Wrestlemania!
Finally Not Content with not having any other female Wrestler make history tonight, Management went out of it's way almost not to have Renee Young not do Commentary the entire show as she was in a Revolving door, Pushed out by Guest Commentators. But be that as it may, The Main event was the Business! Back and forth great action, great story-telling (Even from Ronda, who is usually as a Emotive as a Face drawn on a rock!) In the end, Becky Rolled the Hell out of Nowhere from the Piper's Pit, causing Ronda to Complain.
Well That's it!
WWE HAS DONE ME DIRTY BY PUTTING MITB STRAIGHT AFTER MANIA, AND AS I PLAN TO DO TICKET TO HELL ALL SUMMER! There will be no Wrestling reviews Until Summerslam, pending return of IPW or WOS! Rice Fusion Pringles Review by sometime next week!
UNTIL THEN Follow me on twitter @RealEnli!
And UNTIL THEN!
PEACE!
EAMONN
AKA ENLI!
X
On The Kick Off show, Because Vince would Rather sell Slam City to Sky than give British tv rights to 205 live! Buddy Murphy lost the Cruiserweight Title to former Friend Tony Nese! Nese Knows a thing about muscle Gain, maybe he can grow a personality!
Next was the Queen of the Jobbers Battle Royal, won by Camel-Toe! And you know what? Give Carmella the Useless Uterus (Try saying that 10 times fast!) If they had given Asuka the win after taking the belt off her-BOI!
And in the King of the Jobbers Battle Royale, Braun won like we thought he would, Demolishing SNL Vanilla Flavoured Jackass and SNL Chocolate Flavoured Jackass last!
And Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins are the new Tag Team Champions finally giving Hawkins Closure on his 2 year, 200+ losing streak.
....They're going to lose the belts tonight and get future endevoured in Next Month's spring clean, aren't they?
To the main show which means, i only watched 5 and 1/2 hours of a 7 AND A HALF SHOW, We open with Alexa Bliss and all her Wardrobe Changes! Alexa promised us a moment, by Snapping her fingers, ZA WURLDO! Style, but instead of time stopping, we went backwards as #RacistGrandpa That Ole HACK Hogan Returned...only to be interrupted by Paul Heymen waling out in a bad mood!
Heyman demands that if Brock can't be the Main event, he demands his match to right Now! And here we Go! The 1st belt of the main show is one devalued out of existence, almost! After Typical Cheap Bitch Moves from Bork, Rollins Rallied, Using 3 Curb Stomps back to back, And thus, the wwe Universal Championship returns to Raw!
Randy Orton and AJ Styles Put on a good Match, But they always do! Nicely Paced, this was a sleeper hit!
Also Quick Paced was the 4-way for the SmackTeam TagDown Championships, as After a Pointless Walk by Lacey "JonBenet" Evans, The Usos faced Black/Ricochet , the Bar and League of Evil Foreigners 2.0, PAL! How did Ricochet get out of that 7 man tower of power unscathed is anyone guess! Usos Retained Despite the odds!
WORST MATCH OF THE NIGHT!
Shane Macmahon, who Is dA bESSER rASSLER eN dA wURL! Bet GOBSHITE FROM MTV...Landing on top of Miz' own Superplex!
Because of Jonn Ritland's Royal Rumble Game, I am not allowed to say anything bad about Billy Kay Til August!, But I'll saw that to say this, I am Glad a Team with real Chemistry took the belts, everyone else better step!
Midway the strange decision to put the WWE championship Here! Did Kofi Unveil a New Finisher? Yeah he Did a Package Driver/ Falcon Arrow thing that got a close near fall. It was a grueling tete-a-tete, But in a result were i can say i was wrong, Kofi won the newly reinstated WWE championship!
Blink and you'll miss it, Joe retained against Rey Mysterio!
DREW MADE ROMAN LOOK STRONG!
For 2 years Straight, John Cena Got in Elias' Business, and for the second Year, Elias Got Buried!
In an Ugly Colostomy Bag of A match, Triple H defeated Batista in match that had Pliers on finger joints , that had Batista's Nose ring pulled out a second pair of pliers, Sledge hammers but it was the return of Ric Flair who help Haitch get the win!
You may not like it, but I predicted that Baron Corbin would win against Kurt Angle in the former's Retirement Match!
Blink and you'll miss it, but Balor(HISS!) And his Spoopy Makeup bet Bobby Lashley for the IC belt. I think this was a record for the Most Title changes at a Wrestlemania!
Finally Not Content with not having any other female Wrestler make history tonight, Management went out of it's way almost not to have Renee Young not do Commentary the entire show as she was in a Revolving door, Pushed out by Guest Commentators. But be that as it may, The Main event was the Business! Back and forth great action, great story-telling (Even from Ronda, who is usually as a Emotive as a Face drawn on a rock!) In the end, Becky Rolled the Hell out of Nowhere from the Piper's Pit, causing Ronda to Complain.
Well That's it!
WWE HAS DONE ME DIRTY BY PUTTING MITB STRAIGHT AFTER MANIA, AND AS I PLAN TO DO TICKET TO HELL ALL SUMMER! There will be no Wrestling reviews Until Summerslam, pending return of IPW or WOS! Rice Fusion Pringles Review by sometime next week!
UNTIL THEN Follow me on twitter @RealEnli!
And UNTIL THEN!
PEACE!
EAMONN
AKA ENLI!
X
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