Monday, August 21, 2023

MLW OPERA CUP FINALS: TOENAIL IN THE COFFIN! (PLUS ANNOUNCEMENT BELOW!)

 (LAST TIME SINCE THE LAST MLW SPECIAL....

Alex Kane won the forty man Battle Riot Match and Solidified his claim to face the Champion, Alex Hammerstone at the PPV, Never say Never, by revealing the Bombaye Fight club's Financial Backer...A Decrepit Don King reading out a Cameo...and was never mentioned again!

"HE HAS VERY LIMITED CAPABILITES, ALL HE CAN DO IS READ, AND YELL..."

Meanwhile, the rest of the Division is being dragged into the Mud from Raven's Fucks from the Mudshow, the calling, Fat Mudshow Fuck and Small Mudshow Fuck defeated the Samoans For the tag belts. Akira, The Small Mudshow Fuck, is also the Middleweight champion after a fourway match. And now The Fat Mudshow Fuck, Ricky Shane Page wants the Middleweight title held by Jacob Fatu. They also want the Women's Gold too, as they have recruited Sandy Leon into the fold.

The Woman's Gold now has a new Holder, since Taya, Sam Adonis and Johnny Lastbrick had signed with AEW, their storylines and titles have being Dropped, With the New Champion, Delmi Exo, a former Tag Wrestler, having big shoes to fill.

For weeks the Crowd has being Turning on Bulldog Junior, and for weeks we saw Monsieur Saint Laurent Scamming money out of his client Microman. And so it happened finally, they turned them Heel, with MSL Ordering Harry to destroy "the Joke to the Business" That is before Mance Warner made the save for Microman. So MSL wants Mance to face his new Client, Matt Cardona, in a kiss my foot match at the next Payperview on an overpriced app!

Speaking of Bulldog Junior, all last month, a slim 4 man Tournament for the Opera Cup, a Prestigious trophy that was once the hallmark and Spectacle in the Northeast for many in the Turn of the century. The Hart Family Donated the Cup as a trophy to reinstate the tournament in  this new centaury. Bulldog Junior defeated The Superheavyweight Calvin Tankman 4 weeks ago. While the Underdog, "Hot Sauce" Tracey Williams defeated the Conniving Journeyman Tony Deppen in a Pure Wrestling Classic 3 weeks ago!

But before that main event...Whatever the fuck This was!

Jacob Fatu vs Fat Mudshow Fuck was a No contest. And this Referee, he was as lenient as An Aubrey Edwards or Corpse Referee in AEW, But if you were expecting Technical Finesse from this match, look elsewhere! The Calling make their Entrance with two Gasmask Gobshites Dragging out a Guerney with weapons, which Shame Page picks out a railroad Spike. He tried to Stab the bare feet of the Samoan, but rather than Go for the skin between the Toes or the Pad under the Big Toe to draw Blood, he dahm near tried to tickle Fatu's foot like he was using a feather, when he realised the crowd was laughing at him, he started Biting the Toenails off Jacob Fatu, making sure the Hard Camera Caught this Stupid Hillbilly Hack's Shit Eating Grin with Toenails hanging off his teeth and Beard, As the Crowd chanted "You Sick Fuck!" Eventually the Fight broke out on the floor and Ref finally did Something, and Threw this filth out! Only to learn that to sell a Payperview, they will do into again in a Weaponised Ring Weapons Everywhere Match! Aren't You glad Ayozat doesn't have the rights to show this shit in Europe?

Next we had a Promo from Matt Cardona, in his swimming pool, saying he has nothing against Mance, it's just business.

Backstage Delmi Exo is preparing for her title Defence when her challenger at Fury Road, Becca, this Popstar Gimmick accosts her about not taking her seriously. Delmi fires back on her little "Popstar Delusion" and leaves for Gorilla Position.

Delmi Exo Defended her Belt Against Paris Van Dale in a tune-up match that shouldn't have being for the Title, Van Dale was a Pale and Soft-in-the-Middle Girl with Pippi Long-Stocking's Pigtails. this match went 2 minutes, if that. Becca attacked Exo after the match with a Gimmicked Guitar. Keep Breaking Guitars like that and You'll never Draw A Dime! Speaking of Slapnuts why do i get the feeling the man who gifted Becca the Guitar, Love, Doug is Gonna interfere at Fury Road? For those Wondering Love Doug's Gimmick is that he is a Noodle Armed Simp who looks like he Skipped Puberty!

Willy Mack had a Promo ahead of his World's title match with Alex Kane, Kane Responded saying he's Going to Mexico to train!

Kushida is Coming To MLW...Unfortunately it's The Marty Mcfly Kushida, not the serious one!

Finally for this Episode, Some actual Wrestling, Hot Sauce Williams vs Bulldog Junior in a Pretty Good Match-Hey I just saw a man eat other man's Toenails and a title Match that never should have being, so I'm taking this! I knew from Research that Williams was one of the Clowns in the Chikara Clown Show, he was the Red ant, to Orange Cassidy's Green Ant, So I'm surprised Tracey spent those years later plying his craft while it's obvious, Tony's Little Dog Pockets didn't. This was a Good Back and Fourth Match, but in the end Bulldog Forced Williams to tap to the Crossface. The Heels celebrated by insulting Phillie, With Smith Holding the Cup his Family had donated previously, and the last thing the announcers brought up was a Special Announcement for Next week.

SPEAKING OF SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS!

MLW will seemingly stop doing TV Specials, Technically speaking, this episode with the tournament final was not a special, and I'm not Paying an App for PPVS, So from Now on, until December and returning into the new year, Every Monday (Or Tuesday after a ppv.) 

I WILL NOW BE DOING WEEKLY REVIEWS OF MLW FUSION, STARTING NEXT WEEK!

Join me Next week when we find out what the Big Announcement is In our first Fusion Review!

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