(Previously On MLW....)
Last Sunday was The Fury Road Payperview. And we had a few talking points.
Alex Kane Retained the World's Title against Willie Mack. In a match with I'm told had all the emotion and False Finishes a Match like this should have. The Fat Mudshow Fuck, Defeated Jacob Fatu In a rotten Weaponised Ring, Weapons Everywhere match! The Fat Turd, Who looks like he fell asleep and woke up to find a Child's Felt Tip Drawing of an Eagle done on his Bloated Chest is now the National Openweight Champion.
Speaking of Bloated! Mance Warner lost a kiss my Foot match to Monsieur Saint Laurent's new Client, the Peg warmer himself, Matt Mid Cardona. The Former Wwe Jobber for life, won on a Distraction. By the French Canadian Carny and it was his foot that was to he kissed, instead it was a Hickey, Because Mance bit into Laurent's Foot!
CURRENT TITLE HOLDERS (ALL CAPS DENOTES RECENT TITLE CHANGE)
- World Heavyweight champion: Alex Kane
- NATIONAL OPENWEIGHT: RICKY SHANE PAGE
- Middleweight: Akira
- Tag: The Calling (Akira and Ricky Shane Page)
- Featherweight: Delmi Exo (Currently Injured)
We Open With Saint Laurent's Big Disgusting Foot In View In the offices of World Titan Federation (Yeah haha WTF HAHA!), Vowing Revenge on Mance Warner. We cut to MSL At ringside introducing the newest member of World Titan Federation -Gene Snitsky, who Made short work of Equal Size Man Mountain Yucifer Hell! The huge Jobber Was put on a stretcher and was still Destroyed After the match.
We get A Video Package of The Returning Selina De la Renta. I missed her, and not for the reasons you think, But needed Proper MODERN Heel Managers in the Company!
Calvin Tankman had a Promo bigging up tonight's Main Event, A WORLD TITLE MATCH.....For A different Company's Belt! Because MLW have a deal with WXW From Germany, Tankman will face Irie for the belt Tonight...But before that.....He's Not Just Shite, He's a Microshite!
Trios match with Little Guido, Ray Jazz and Jesus Rodriguez (Formerly Ricardo Rodriguez) as the Honorary Italian. And their Opponents. Midas Black, a Non-descript Black Guy Dressed as a Ringmaster and as he holds up a Hula Hoop, This Fat White Guy, Who I swear Must be the Brother or Cousin Of Pizzeria Uno, He's called Jay Lion- a White Guy in a Lion Themed Lucha Mask Rolls through the Hula Hoop and nearly gets Stuck with the Mane from the mask and the Fat rolls from his Back! And here's Microman and there goes The Opponents Creditability! Faces Won like you care!
Speaking of Things that should have being Cared About, Out come the now Former MLW wrestler, Sam Adonis and after this Promo, You'll see Why! He cuts a promo claiming Microman....Is a Deadbeat Dad! This Brings out Snitsky and MSL To attack the Mane Event and Microshite! MLS Has a bag of babydolls which Snitsky Punts into the Audience. Out The Second Gear Crew Who had Adopted Micropenis as their Mascot makes the Save when Snitsky was going to Punt him!
Video Package Of Alex Kane Backstage Before and After his Title Win. In the biggest win and match of his young career!
Main event match time Shigehiro Irie Retained Germany's WXW World's championship. Two Big Bulls and after what i had to watch to get to this point, I'll take it!
2 Powerhouses working a Slow paced Match which grew Stream and lockup from the opening Bell. As matches like this should start! Shigehiro is Rarely overshadowed but Tankman is a 400 Pounder! Still That Meant Irie had to Play Speedster in this match, using Chops and Cannonballs and finally the Big Lariat for the win.
With less than A Minute of Airtime, Jacob Fatu Calls out a Star of New Japan because of the New Deal and He's Calling out....Minoru Sazuki...The Murder Grampa!
Join me next week, for Alex Kane's Announcement on his new opponent, Microcrap Vs Sam Adonis and a whole lot more Next week!
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