ROYAL RUMBLE 2015 Predictions

Last Wednesday, was tna's "first" show of the year. This Sunday the WWE Shows Dixie, Y'ALL! how it's done!

(All Matches in Descending Title Importance)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
JOHN FUCKING CENA VS BROCK THE FUCKING SELLOUT! VS CATWOMAN SETH ROLLINS!

I must point out that Rollins has NOT! I repeat HAS NOT!, Cashed in this money in the bank briefcase! I think my shenanigans smelling glands are starting to pre-empt themselves!
WINNER: CENA OR LESNER TO BEGIN WITH, BUT ROLLIN'S TO CASH IN TO CAUSE A SCREWY FINISH!

THE INTERCONTINENTAL AND US CHAMPIONS ARE CONFRIRMED FOR THE REAL MAIN EVENT-THE 30 MAN ROYAL RUMBLE!

By now you've heard that rather than have them appear and get huge pops on Sunday is that Dolph Ziggler, Steroid Back, and  GROOT  Erick Rowan are reinstated and on smackdown ,*SPOILER* All 3 had to qualifiy for spots! Ziggler and rybitch qualified, Rowan Didn't!

Here is the list of those who announced their involvement in the match

• Intercontinental Champion-Bad News Barrett
• US Champion Alexander POO-SEV!
• Roman Reigns
• Daniel Bryan
• Bray Wyatt
• Dean Ambrose
• GOBSHITE FROM MTV!
• Damien GOBSHITEDOW!
• Goldust
• TIM CURRY Stardust
• BIG SHITE!
• THE BIG RED DISSAPOINTMENT!
• R-Truth
• Justin Gabriel
• El Latino Sterotypico Uno
• El Latino Sterotypico Dos
• FandanGOBSHITE!
• Kofi Kingston
• Big E
• Xavier Woods

But what about the surprise Entrants well here's a few thoughts:

• Sting
• Zack Ryder
• Adrian Nevelle/Sami Zayn/Tyler Breeze or any of those 2-all 3 is unlikely but not impossible
• Kevin Nash
• the Rumble is in Philley, maybe an ECW Original!
• As of right now, Lame-Arse and Zack Ryder are off the injured list.

WINNER: Bryan, Roman or Ziggler! Infact they may be the final 3!

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE BOOSUCKS(C) VS GOBSHITE FROM MTV! AND DAMIEN GOBSHITEDOW!
Before I have all you marks say something stupid like "But Eamonn, Miz did Sandow A favour and Him over with the crowd" no, cashing in the money the bank on Golden and out-wrestling him in the match of his career got him over with the crowd, then Cena got all ARSEHURT! and complained, using his stroke as champion to demote sandow and put in development hell with the only guy worse than him, the Gobshite from MTV PRETENDING TO BE A WRESTLER! Anyway the rifts are being to show and since they are booked into the royal rumble expect the team to last until Miz throws Sandow over the Ropes in the Man Event
WINNER: WHO CARES? SHIT ON MIZ, SHIT ON THE BOO-SUCKS! AND SHIT ON CREATIVE WHO THINKS TOTAL DIVAS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE TAG BELTS!

DIVAS TAG MATCH!
BELLA SKANKS VS PAIGE AND NATAYLA!
SPEAKING OF TOTAL DIVAS...AND SHIT!
My,my!
Someone borrowed Hunt-uhs Copy of HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE!...BY FUCKING 'EM! As Nikki has the divas title, her now non-identical twin, and it's not for the title! Your have learn well, my Skanky Padawan!
Winner, Who cares when your on top?....OF JOHN CENA!

Some how this is the kick-off match! and not in the actual show
POO-DAY (big e/Kingston/woods vs TEAM VINCE SAYS GO BACK TO CANADA, SWITZERLAND, AND SOUTH AFRICA AND MAKE POUTEEN, WINE AND CHOCOLATES! (Kidd/Rose/Cesaro)

I don't know what's worse, the fact these 6 are in a match, no-one will see or the fact that the next match made it on to the show....

THE ASCENSION VS THE OLD AGED OUTLAWS!
(FACEPALM)
WINNERS: PRAY FOR CESARO'S CAREAR!

Anyway, results will be up on Monday morning after 11amGMT!
SEE YOU THEN!