1st thing's first, the preshow. This burial of Kidd and Cesaro has to stop right now! We were in the "Land of Extreme" Philadelphia, home of the most passionate fans in the world, outside Britain of course1 The Phillie crowd Slaughtered the new Day! and when Tyson got the win with Sharpshooter, crowd went ape-shit...For the 1st time tonight!
Officialy the show started with the Old Aged Outlaws vs The Legion Of DERP!(I Wonder wHHHo booked that!). This was just another squash match for the new team. can we have the Ascension from Nxt! beceuse this facsimile bullshit ain't helping them at all!
World Tag team championship the Boo-Sucks Retained over GOBSHITE FROM MTV! and Damien Gobshitedow, but in the process, Sandow had the crowd eating out of his hand, Very entertaining!
It's so great when you are fucking someone with power, that means you can get booked in non-title match at ppvs. Nikki clotheslined (seriously! that's the finish. It wasn't even a powerful clothesline, it was a standing one!) Nattie to continue being the paper champion.
Next was a hellraising, blistering paced 3 way onslaught for the wwe championship. Despite being put hit by chairs, briefcases, taking 4 F.U'S and 7 Curb stomps, Even BEING ELBOWED THROUGH A TABLE AND BREAKING 3 RIBS AND NEARLY STRETCHERED OUT OF PHILLIE, Brock absorbed all of this in a match where he was a marked-man. and he fought like one! He pinned Rollins after beating him like he owned him money! so he couldn't cash in post match! But Brock better not turn up anytime soon, he's still a target, especially what happened tonight!
And now our main event the royal rumble Match!
ENTRANT 1 GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (MAYBE CREATIVE ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!)
eNTRANT 2 R-TRUTH (DITTO!)
Big Mafia Kick by Truth to start off!
ENTRANT 3 BUBBA RAY DUDLEY!
I TOLD YOU AN ECW ORIGINAL WILL APPEAR IN PHILLY! Bubba and Truth teamed up with Truth filling in for D'von
ENTRANT 4:LUKE HARPER AS RTRUTH AND MIZ ARE ELIMATED DURING HIS ENTRANCE!
Bubba Bomb countered into a superkick
ENTRANT 5: BRAY WYATT
the former Wyatt family ambush Bubba.
ENTRANT 6:
THE WYATT'S IMPLODE and both former sub-ordinate's are eliminated. Wyatt is alone!
NUMBER 7: BOOGEYMAN
WHY?WHY?WHY? After having what I can only call a freaking out contest, Boogey's Age Lying Ass is Outta Here!
NUMBER 8: I'VE SEEN ENOUGH CARA!
Asai Moonsault but Wyatt caught him-Sister Abigal and Adios Sin cara! Wyatt gets the microphone and starts singing Whole World in his hands-this wonderful crowd join in!
NUMBER 9: ZACK RYDER
They actually let Zack Ryder have some offence in the rumble but he's gonzo too! Wyatt demands someone worthy to fight...
ENTRANT 10 DANIEL BRYAN
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Rallying corner dropkicks followed by a hurracanrana
ENTRANT 11 FANDANGOBSHITE!
Airplane spin on Dango!
NUMBER 12 TYSON KIDD!
Missle drop kick by Kidd
NUMBER 13:
Chop block on kidd, who is then eliminated
NUMBER 14: BANG! DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!
And the crowd goes nuts! DDP with Diamond Cutters to everyone!
NUMBER 15: RUSEV
Prussian Kick, Eliminates DDP and Dango.
Missle dropkick by bryan, then the flash kicks but then Bryan is eliminated! AND THE CROWD GOES SOUR!
NUMBERS 16 GOLDUST AND 17 KOFI KINGSTON AND HERE'S THE BACKLASH FROM THE FANS!
Number 18: ADAM ROSE
Kofi is caught by the rosebuds for this years stunt but both he and rose are eliminated. well, so much for that!
NUMBER 19: BLOWMAN REIGNS TO DEAFENING BOOS!
Both Woadth Bwodderth are eliminated
NUMBER 20: BIG E MORE BACKLASH
Belly to belly by rusev on the fresh POODAY1 Member, then a cannonball that Dave The Bastard will be proud of!
NUMBER 21: SANDOW: BUT G.F.M.T.V! TRIES TO STEAL HIS SPOT AND SANDOW TURNS FACE!
...but he's quickly eliminated and the backlash continues!
NUMBER 22: JACK SWAGGER
Swaggerbomb on POOSEV!
number 23: STEROID BACK!
Spinebuster and Meat hook
NEXT CONTESTANTS-KANE, AMBROSE-O'NEIL( WHO GETS ELIMINATED AFTER 4 SECONDS!)-BARRETT AND CESARO!
BIG E is eliminated
NUMBER 29: BIG SHITE!
Chokeslam on ryback who is then Eliminated
NUMBER 30: DOLPH ZIGGLER AND THE BACKLASH STOPS!
FINAL ELIMINATIONS:
CESERO:
ZIGGLER(Who was unceremoniously thrown out by both Slow and Kane!
BRAY WYATT
FINAL 5 Ambrose, Reigns, Rusev, big show, and Kane
and with the TITTY MASTER! Gone, it's either Reigns or the authority, It was always going to end this way, AS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION!
WINNER: REIGNS! NOT THAT YOU'D GUESS BY THE BACKLASH! Kane and Show attack only for the Rock to show up-and they are doing it!-they are using a famous family member to give rub to Roman-and it doesn't work! as soon as the rock leaves, the crowd start baying for blood!
So here is the Main event for Wrestlemania PLAYBUTTON!
BROCK LESNER VS BLOWman Reigns!
Join me next week for BESTLEMANIA/WORSTLEMANIA 1-5
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