A ROCK STAR'S HOBBY WHEN NOT ON THE ROAD PRESENTS: TNA XTRAVAGANZA: TAKE THIS JOBBER AND SHOVE IT!

A week removed from Tna's latest Reboot! comes one of 3 cobbled to together shows that was hastily edited in the space of 4 days! Welcome to Xravaganza! once a proud show showcasing the backbone of Tna, now reduced to a 3 hour Gut Check!

 THIS shows premise is...WHAT ELSE?...A tournament!, this time for a X division championship, which may or may not be written in as the plot demands, since One Shite Only's Events are never mentioned on Impact!

JB Starts Introducing The Indie Boys to make up the numbers when...WHAT ELSE?...A hell interrupts. This time it's Rockstar Spud! So here are your competitors from Outside the Company

ZENSHI-Formerly Zenron-a Jobber that Ethan Midcarder bought out to do his dirty work, despite the fact he's supposed to be the Super-face of Tna.

DAVID STAR-Called the "Product". Star has all the tools to get it done!
CALEB CONLEY-IT'S THE MATRIX, NEO!
MARSHE ROCKETT- TNA'S Newest signing, towers over Spud, his music sounds like Ric Flair trying to pass a Tricky Shit! It's Terrible!
J.T. DUNN-GREAT VALUE SETH ROLLINS!
JOHNNY GRESHAM-THE NEW MAN BEHIND THE SUI-SHITE! COSTUME!
CHUCK TAYLOR-DUD STARTS A FIGHT WITH HIM AND TAYLOR CHALLENGES HIM RIGHT NOW!

Before i start, i must mention the Production value an Presentation of this show. it was terrible! The Show's light was darkened to hide the empty seats, and even worse, Josh Matthews and The Black Pope were Arguing though out like a Married Couple, arguing about who sucks more! Guys you equally Suck!

Chikara's Chuck Taylor Defeated Mockstar Dud by making him look like an idiot throughout! Worse still for Spud, Even Earl Hebner kicked his ass! He must be so glad that he didn't except the invite for the CWC!

Next was Marshe Rockett's debut, against the man who only won British boot camp to enhance their guys, Mandrews! FOREGONE CONCLUSION! Rockett Wins!

Speaking of Forgone Conclusions, Zima can only wins on non-roster guys! so Gresham lost, however, Gresham is a great talent and had a nice showing! so he has a job now, though not on this own terms...Leading us to....

Gresham did Double Duty as SUICIDE! Against the Product-David Star! Despite Hitting the Product Placement-An Arm-trap German Suplex -Gresuicide won trying all night to hit the Kendrick on The Man from Chicago...after an apparent Referee Stoppage! Sloppy Sloppy. work!

Braxston Sutter won after he busted open PoundShop Seth Rollins, JT Dunn with a Outside, Inside, Flying Bella Buster! Braxston won with the Flatliner.

Caleb Conley the guy dressed like a Matrix Extra lost to a guy with a lot of Momentum at this time Eddie Edwards. If only Caleb took the Red Pill!

Crazy Steve took on Zenshi and won. that's about it!

To make up the 3 hours, not only did we have clips from tna's glory days, but a Ultimate X match for $10,000...worth of Food Stamps! Between The Blowmans and the Helms Dynasty, Finish was the Screwy finish from a few weeks ago! Faces unhooks X, Helms Distracts Ref, Heel grabs X from face! ANYWAY, CONGRATS TO TREVOR LEE AND ANDREW EVERETT, THOUGH I HAVE A FEELING THE MONEY WON'T BE SPENT ON HAIRCUTS!

Finally. Braxton won an X division Title Shot in the Ladder Match Main Event! to be used if the Monkeys in Creative actually remembers to write that fact in!

Well that's in!
I'm currently Playing the Schedule by Ear but i do know what i'm doing in September, next week a September Schedule will come out on this blog!

WWE SUMMERSLAM 2016: CHINLOCK CITY, BITCH!

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to put your ppv at the exact same time as the Olympic Closing Ceremony, eh Vince?

As such, I forgot about the 1st 15 minutes! gladly that was how long Enzo's Promo was so i missed nowt! Despite the Hometown response, The Realest Guys In the Room got owned by the Most Legit Veterans on the Roster!, ending the match with an off the Cuff Pop-up Codebreaker! That's right the set up for one Special tags into another! That's some Inazuma Eleven type shit for you!

Women's Match was next and i think Sasha is legitimately hurt. Ref made a Judgement call and changed the finish, That's what it looked like! Here's hoping it's not too Serious!

Toilet Break Championship was a joke I made up last week to make fun of Miz's title reign as the Intercontinental champion. Turns out to be true as People were actually leaving their seats in droves! Cameramen focus more on tight shots as damage Control. Surprise Surprise, Miz won by Cheating, Because who needs overrated stuff like "TALENT" Or "TECHNIQUE"?

To Distract us from throwing our Garbage into the ring, what happened next was the highlight of last night/earlier this morning! Which I will now do play by play for! this is special, i only do play by play for the best matches!

JOHN CENA VS AJ STYLES!
Opening Bell, and Both Competitors Lock Up. Hammerlock by Cena, Clean Break. Side Headlock by Styles Clean Break, but Styles Admonishes Cena for some reason, Flying Superman Tackle sends Cena into the ropes. inside, Outside, Suplex onto the Ring Apron by Styles, getting a breath, back in to the ring for Cena, Back Body drop followed by a drop kick, then a Snap Suplex, followed by a headbutt! it's different Five Moves of Doom because here's the F.U.! PELE KICK! TO COUNTER! Styles Clash by AJ! 1. 2....
NO SELL POWERS! ACTIVATE!
A. A BY CENA! IT'S DONE! HE HULKED UP AFTER TAKING A FINISHER! STICK A FORK IN MR MOPTOP!
1...2....
INTERNET DARLING POWERS!
ACTIVATE!
IT'S NOT OVER!
Rack Spinout Powerbomb sends Cena into a Corner, where he gets Catapulted, Lifting Cutter into a facebuster! AA by Styles! with Cena Planted Styles has him set for Spiral Tap, AJ MISSES! Canadian Destroyer by Cena! John with a German Suplex into a face buster of his own. Styles finds his feet. after punches and kicks, Styles plummets with a missed Springboard. STFU Into Crippler Crossface, into Calf Crusher back into the SUBMISSION THAT'S FUCKING USELESS! Dragging Cena to a corner to force a ropebreak. into a frankensteiner by styles. Phenomenal Forearm  gets 2. Clothesline by A WEAKENING! Cena, Who Pulls out all the stops with A Super AA! Still only gets 2! HOLY SHIT!
 Finish is AJ taking advantage of a doubled over Cena and hitting Styles clash and the Phenomenal Forearm!
WINNER: STYLES!
After the match, Cena takes off one of his arm bands and leaves it on the canvas! The Future has ran through Cena, but can Cena still run?

NOONE WANTED JOHN STEWART HERE! EVEN AS THE NEW DAY'S SECOND! HE INTERFERED WITH THE CLUB AND BIG E HAD TO COME OUT! CAUSING A DQ!

All of the Momentum that Dolph collected last week, diminished in an instant.That was A Career Low considering he was in the Spirit Squad, A Caddy, and Saddled with Maria,And as Vickie's Boytoy! you might think that was his Biggest Career Low!

But no, this is Dolph's Career Low!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8J3V6wchSE

I...I HAVE NO WORDS! SEEING THAT AFTER HIS MATCH WAS A PORTAL TO MADNESS! EVERYTHING AFTER THAT BECAME A FAT MAN ON SKIS-IT WENT DOWNHILL QUICKLY!

Replacing All Botch Everything was Nikki Bella, Confirming she is now on Smackdown. So The Usos may have being dragged to the blue brand by holding Cena's Jock!, but turns out Nikki still has work because of what's under it! All night they were all alluding to Alexa Bliss "Learning From Nikki" but considering her rep backstage, It's no wonder Miss Bliss earned the nickname "Blonde Bella!" Heels Won after Nikki hit Rack Attack-aka Johnny Ace's Job Interview as she ended in her natural state-on her knees!

NEXT WAS THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP-

THIS DESIGN IS RED-UNDANT!

Everytime the belt was shown on screen people booed- it took away from the match! and it was a great match at that between Seth Rollins and "THE DEMON KING" Finn Balor! Congrats to Balor! it'll that all your talent to make this Figuratively  BLOODY STUPID LOOKING belt a legitimate championship!

Both last matches ended in no contests-what are you doing wwe?

Join me next Monday for more Rage as 1 of 3 pre-recorded TNA ppvs have their existence questioned despite the backdrop of a new regime in TNA! And maybe when i get some straight answers from the tv stations, my Winter schedule should be up too!

SummerSlam 2016 predictions post

Through better health or maybe because of my wonderful friends and loyal fans, I Have decided NOT TO TAKE A SUMMER SABBATICAL! SUMMERSLAM WILL BE WATCHED LIVE! AND REVIEWED HERE!

A Reminder that the show is 4 hours long, and will start an hour earlier than what you are use to, in my case, It will start at midnight in Ireland!

Lets Get to it!

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!
DEAN "TITTYMASTER" AMBROSE (C) VS DOLPH ZIGGLER

I watched Smackdown last night and i never seen Dolph as impassioned as he was last night, I am expecting a full on heel turn by Dolph! Dean only had a warm-up match with Erick Rowan where he won so...
MONEY ON: DOLPH

WWE BESTEST BELT IN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE NANANANA!, NO TAKEBACKS! CHAMPIONSHIP
SETH ROLLINS VS FINN BALOR

Can I just say that the "Universe" Belt is a stupid name? I get it you are into theme naming, You name the worst singles belt after something small-Europe and then you build by calling the belts after something bigger than the previous thing (USA
To the match itself, this will be a showstealer, i can't call it! I may have to do a full play-by-play on Monday morning!

WWE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
CHARLOTTE VS SASHA BANKS(c)
Are we suppose to feel sorry for Asya 2.0 for getting kicked to the kerb by Charlotte?
TO HELL WITH THAT!
MONEY ON: SASHA
TOILET BREAK CHAMPIONSHIP

GOBSHITE FROM MTV (C) VS SMILLIE VON HAPPYTOBEHERE!
Miz didn't have a match last night, and Crews had one on Main event! and the build up was during the commercials last night on smackdown! No one cares!
MONEY ON: JUST RETIRE THE IC BELT!

US CHAMPIONSHIP
RUSEV (c) VS BLOWMAN LAMES!
Aw, he's defending the honour of his wife
YAY!
...OH WAIT! HE'S A STILL A SNEAKY FORIEGNER!
BOOO BOOO GO 'MURICA BOOO!

MONEY ON: ROMAN, NEPOTISM, ASSKISSING...AND 'MURICA!

WWE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
NEW DAY (KINGSTON/WOODS) (c) VS THE CLUB (GALLOWS/ANDERSON)

It looks like the positivity train has being derailed. It has being a fabulous, fantastic, fun fill run for 300+ days but all good things must come to an end
MONEY: Without it's heavy Hitter, there is only so much that Kofi and Xavier a man with a very dodgy knee, can do! Finish will be arrival of Big E, miscommunication and a roll up-new Tag champions!

SMACKDOWN VS RAW
A DRUG TAKING MAN CHILD WHO IS ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY VS ANOTHER DRUG TAKING MAN CHILD WHO IS ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY!
COULD NOT CARE LESS! NEXT!

6-WOMAN TAG MATCH!
BECKY/IMMARAISIN/CARMELLA VS NATALYA/BLISS THE BLONDE BELLA/ALLBOTCHEVERYTHING

I bet Eva doesn't turn up! besides she probably doesn't now what event she is booked for! Let me ask her!

SO, EVA! ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT YOU MATCH AT...WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW AGAIN?


MONEY ON: EVA TO DITCH NATTIE AND BLONDE BELLA SKANK! EASY WIN FOR FACES!

TAG MATCH
ENZO/CASS VS JERICHOWENS!
How Popular are the Big Cass and Enzo Amore? There first Summerslam and it's in there home state and they get to wrestle two top men! I smell feud title hunt, How you Doin'!
MONEY ON ENZO AND CASS!

BEST OF 7 ROUND ONE
LAME-ARSE VS CESARO
CESARO HAS TO FIGHT LAMEARSE 7 MORE TIMES?


APPEARANCES BY JOHN STEWART, NO DOUBT HE WILL PIN HEATH SLATER TO STOP HIM GETTING A CONTRACT! COME ON WWE, HAVE A HEART! HEATH HAS CHILDER TO FEED!

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

Well that's it!

Results will up on this blog on Monday sometime after 11am local time! Hope you enjoy the show!