Monday, August 29, 2016

A ROCK STAR'S HOBBY WHEN NOT ON THE ROAD PRESENTS: TNA XTRAVAGANZA: TAKE THIS JOBBER AND SHOVE IT!

A week removed from Tna's latest Reboot! comes one of 3 cobbled to together shows that was hastily edited in the space of 4 days! Welcome to Xravaganza! once a proud show showcasing the backbone of Tna, now reduced to a 3 hour Gut Check!

 THIS shows premise is...WHAT ELSE?...A tournament!, this time for a X division championship, which may or may not be written in as the plot demands, since One Shite Only's Events are never mentioned on Impact!

JB Starts Introducing The Indie Boys to make up the numbers when...WHAT ELSE?...A hell interrupts. This time it's Rockstar Spud! So here are your competitors from Outside the Company

ZENSHI-Formerly Zenron-a Jobber that Ethan Midcarder bought out to do his dirty work, despite the fact he's supposed to be the Super-face of Tna.

DAVID STAR-Called the "Product". Star has all the tools to get it done!
CALEB CONLEY-IT'S THE MATRIX, NEO!
MARSHE ROCKETT- TNA'S Newest signing, towers over Spud, his music sounds like Ric Flair trying to pass a Tricky Shit! It's Terrible!
J.T. DUNN-GREAT VALUE SETH ROLLINS!
JOHNNY GRESHAM-THE NEW MAN BEHIND THE SUI-SHITE! COSTUME!
CHUCK TAYLOR-DUD STARTS A FIGHT WITH HIM AND TAYLOR CHALLENGES HIM RIGHT NOW!

Before i start, i must mention the Production value an Presentation of this show. it was terrible! The Show's light was darkened to hide the empty seats, and even worse, Josh Matthews and The Black Pope were Arguing though out like a Married Couple, arguing about who sucks more! Guys you equally Suck!

Chikara's Chuck Taylor Defeated Mockstar Dud by making him look like an idiot throughout! Worse still for Spud, Even Earl Hebner kicked his ass! He must be so glad that he didn't except the invite for the CWC!

Next was Marshe Rockett's debut, against the man who only won British boot camp to enhance their guys, Mandrews! FOREGONE CONCLUSION! Rockett Wins!

Speaking of Forgone Conclusions, Zima can only wins on non-roster guys! so Gresham lost, however, Gresham is a great talent and had a nice showing! so he has a job now, though not on this own terms...Leading us to....

Gresham did Double Duty as SUICIDE! Against the Product-David Star! Despite Hitting the Product Placement-An Arm-trap German Suplex -Gresuicide won trying all night to hit the Kendrick on The Man from Chicago...after an apparent Referee Stoppage! Sloppy Sloppy. work!

Braxston Sutter won after he busted open PoundShop Seth Rollins, JT Dunn with a Outside, Inside, Flying Bella Buster! Braxston won with the Flatliner.

Caleb Conley the guy dressed like a Matrix Extra lost to a guy with a lot of Momentum at this time Eddie Edwards. If only Caleb took the Red Pill!

Crazy Steve took on Zenshi and won. that's about it!

To make up the 3 hours, not only did we have clips from tna's glory days, but a Ultimate X match for $10,000...worth of Food Stamps! Between The Blowmans and the Helms Dynasty, Finish was the Screwy finish from a few weeks ago! Faces unhooks X, Helms Distracts Ref, Heel grabs X from face! ANYWAY, CONGRATS TO TREVOR LEE AND ANDREW EVERETT, THOUGH I HAVE A FEELING THE MONEY WON'T BE SPENT ON HAIRCUTS!

Finally. Braxton won an X division Title Shot in the Ladder Match Main Event! to be used if the Monkeys in Creative actually remembers to write that fact in!

Well that's in!
I'm currently Playing the Schedule by Ear but i do know what i'm doing in September, next week a September Schedule will come out on this blog!

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