Wrestlemania Predictions for Confirmed and Altered Matches: 2nd wave!

ALL MATCHES IN DESCENDING IMPORTANCE!

FATAL 4-WAY FOR THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
BOBBY ROODE VS RANDY ORTON(c) VS JIN AND JUICE MAHAL VS RUSEV

Well, there goes my pick for the King Of The Jobbers Battle Royal!
MONEY STILL ON: Orton!

WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP NOW CONFIRMED
THE USOS (JIMMY/JEY) (c) VS THE NEW DAY (ANY COMBINATION OF BIG E/WOODS/KINGSTON) VS  THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS (HARPER/ROWAN)

Again with the multi-matches! I guess it's because they wanted to make Nakamura vs Styles that little bit special.
The build that the Bludgeons have had has being slow. but they are being booked as Monsters, which has made people forget the whole "Rowan is an Autistic Genius" angle that caused that forgettable face turn:
MONEY ON: Bludgeon brothers or New day! Have Usos take back the titles at Summerslam.

Finally for this week
THE QUEEN OF THE JOBBERS BATTLE ROYAL
EVERYONE VS EVERYONE!
Whilst winning this match has no real consequence to booking whatsoever, this week the Trophy had being revealed. After campaigning to remove the name of The Fabulous Moolah of the trophy, after building the Pimp and sex Offender as a feminist figure. The Women's Battle royal was just called that "the Woman's battle Royal" All's Well that Ends Well...UNTIL THEY REVEALED THE NEW TROPHY!

HOLY DIVINE JUMPING JAYSUS!...IS...THAT....IS THAT A UTERUS?

(WHAT FOLLOWS IS THE WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT FOR AS MANY LADY PART PUNS IN A SINGLE PARAGRAPH!)

LOOKS LIKE THE TROPHYMAKER WAS A REAL TWAT....

IT'S A BONAFIDE DUD AND A CERTIFIED G SPOT!

LOOKS LIKE WWE BIRTHED A NEW CONTROVERSY!

WHO EVER WINS THIS WILL BE FLUSHED WITH EMOTION...

AND WHO LOSES WILL BE IN A GIANT FLAP FOR A WHILE...

TO WIN THIS PRIZE YOU'LL HAVE TO THINK OUTSIDE THE THE BOX...

AND FINALLY...NICE TO SEE THAT NIKKI BELLA POSED FOR THIS TROPHY!

Next Wednesday i will have the final push towards wrestlemania Hopefully the condition of Shane will confirm one of the few last matches to be confirmed! Until then any changes will be reported on my twitter @RealEnli

PEACE!

Wrestlemania 34 Predictions for CONFIRMED! Matches 1st wave! (Contains *Spoiler*)

Hey Guys! Eamonn here again. Look I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately, but if you want someone to blame, Blame Impact Wrestling! Impact's new British Time-slot of 11pm and lack of ppvs mean on the months i don't Have the money to buy a ppv, I cant do any wrestling posts! That'll change after whatever 5SHITE! shows Redemption (Watch it not be live in UK!) when i announce my summer schedule after wrestlemania week!

And now to the matter at hand!
ELEVEN! Matches have being confirmed for Wrestlemania Purple in New Orleans this year. and we are not even done yet with the build

(ALL MATCHES ARE IN DESCENDING TITLE IMPORTANCE...AND NOT THE SCHEDULE OF THE EVENT)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
AJ STYLES (C)VS SHINKSUKE NAKAMURA!
Twitter erupted two months ago when the King of Strong Style elimed Roman (King of Strong Odour!) to win the Roman Match. This match is set to blaze new Orleans and quite possibly the entire world of wrestling!
MONEY ON: Rumblings of an injury to Styles are making the rounds, but it won't change the outcome, Nakamura, but it won't be any easy title-drop by any stretch of the imagination

JAM BELT
BORK AND BEANS (C) VS BLOWMAN LAMES
So Roman is really going to talk about Brock getting "special treatment" because he's "Vince's boy!"?


MONEY ON: ROMAN, YOU KNOW IT'S ROMAN, BUT AT LEAST SAMOA JOE AND ROMAN WILL TEAR IT UP FOR THE TITLE ON RAW UK!

WWE RAW WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
ALEXA BLISS (C) VS NIA JAX!
Feeling cobbled together, wwe has gone for turning Nia face by having Alexa Bliss and Mickie James fat shame her (YES THE SAME MICKIE JAMES WHO WAS HERSELF FAT SHAMED IN AN ANGLE YEARS AGO...OR DID YOU THINK WE WOULDN'T REMEMBER?)
MONEY ON: NIA FOR HER SIZE, HAS NOT BEING BOOKED AT ALL DOMINANT! THE ONLY SAVING GRACE IS THAT IF SHE WORKS MORE ON HER PERSONALITY SHE MIGHT WIN THE CROWD...BUT STILL NOT THE TITLE!

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP 
CHARLOTTE (C) VS ASUKA
History Made at the Rumble Match, when Asuka destroyed Nikki Bella-Skank, with a satisfying kick to her face. Last month on FastLAME! Asuka came out after Charlotte disposed of Ruby Riott! the reason Asuka came To the blue brand is that because wwe want to put Asuka's streak in Believable Jeopardy...but what mark will Carmella have on this match?
MONEY ON : Asuka, failed cash in by Carmella!

TOILET BREAK CHAMPIONSHIT!
GOBSHITE FROM MTV! (C) VS FINN BALOR VS SETH ROLLINS
UGH!
MONEY ON...BLAHBLAHBLAH! MIZ GETS THROWN OUT! BLAHBLAHBLAH! FINISH HIT! BLAHBLAHBLAH! MIZ ROLLUP BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY WRESTLING MOVE HE CAN DO RIGHT! BECAUSE GOD FORGIVE MIZ EVER PROVING ME WRONG BY WINNING CLEANLY!

TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE UNITED CHAMPIONSHIP
BOBBY ROODE (GLORIOUS!) VS RANDY ORTON (C)(BORING US!) VS JIN AND JUICE MAHAL WHOSE CLAIMS HIS MUSCLE MASS GAIN IS DUE TO A CHANGE TO A TRADITIONAL INDIAN DIET AND THOSE CLAIMS ARE (SPURIOUS!) 
Money on: Orton

WWE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE BAR (SHEAMUS AND CESARO) (C) VS BRAUN STROWMAN AND ???
Braun buried the entire tag division by himself in a battle royal, but Him winning on his own will not stand and he MUST find a partner!
SCENARIO ONE: PARTNER IS ON EQUAL TERMS POWER WISE (RHYNO, BIG SHOW,  KANE, MARK HENRY, HELL EVEN CALL UP KILLIAN DIAN!)
SCEANRIO TWO: PARTNER IS COMPLETE FLOATER AND BRAUN DOES ALL THE WORK TO KEEP HIS TITLE SHOT! (HAWKINS, RYDER, SLATER! MICHAEL COLE WOULD BREAK WWE UNIVERSE IF HE HELD GOLD!)

 WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINALS
CEDRIC ALEXANDER VS MUSTAFA ALI!
Months of rebuilding the cruiserweight division...AND IT BEING ON THE MAIN SHOW IS STILL IN QUESTION! Nonetheless, i think wwe learned its lesson from practically giving tna back Austin Aries. and this will be a good match, just as a reminder if they turn Ali heel, then wwe will have all it's Muslim and Arabic Descent wrestler all heel. Make of that what you will!
MONEY ON: ALI! COULD GO EITHER WAY!

MIXED TAG MATCH
HUNT-UH AND STEPHANIE-MAN (WONDER WHAT'S HIS SUPERPOWER?) VS KURT ANGLE AND RONDA ROUSEY

3 YEARS IN THE MAKING...Rousey's transition to wrestling has being a tough one blame creative. though this match will probably be a stopgap between the 2 Brands main events

KING OF THE JOBBERS BATTLEROYAL AND...QUEEN OF THE JOBBERS BATTLE ROYAL
EVERYBODY VS EVERYBODY!
So, it took Snickers threatening to pull out of sponsorship for wwe to omit the name of the Fabulous Moolah to scar this new trophy. And i am going to say my Piece, YOU ARE DAHM RIGHT MARS TO HOLD UP WWE FOR DOING THIS! The Fabulous Moolah was a evil woman, who used the dreams of young girls to line her pockets, she pimped her students to promoters for sex, many of them 16! she held the title HOSTAGE for years! and Like Jimmy Saville (look him up) used her fame and influence to hide her sins behind her influence in the wrestling world.

Lilian Ellison was not A Feminist Figure. Or Graceful Champion. She was a vain Closeted Lesbian who Punished woman Sexually , like the men she sold her students to. A Pimp. A Pedophile. A Disgrace.

Anyway,  these matches could go on the pre-show where they belong!

Join me next week, if or when Smackdown tag team championship, UNDERTAKER/CENA and/or
OWENS/ZAYN VS SHANE/BRYAN get confirmed!

ICE CREAM 2K18: THE MOST UNINSPIRING BATCH YET!

With it being A World Cup Year, you would think Heartbeat International would introduce a Limited Edition...I don't know...Pavlova Magnum...Instead the Icecream review has passed the ball so Cadbury's, Walkers, Pringles or Doritos may score with their Limited Editions!

This year HB has went and copied what the German Value Supermarkets already made, rather than the other way round, With such RADICAL Ideas like
A Choc-Ice with Nuts (wow!)
A Calipo with 2 flavours! (GASP!)
OR an icecream....flavoured with....VANILLA! (YOU MANIACS!)

Actually I couldn't find the branded Vanilla Mini Milks, and much like you when i heard that Mini Milk of all icecreams, were getting a new flavour i was like...


So i had to settle for the Aldi branded Vanilla mini milk as a point of reference, it tastes like you'd expect, like Frozen Diluted Milk...with Vanilla!


MAGNUM HAZELNUT PRALINE
Wrapper Colour: Purple with Hazelnut Motif
Calories: 1005
Taste; Seriously, Put this item against a Almond Magnum and you won't be able to tell the difference, but beyond the shell, that's where the differences end, Thick Praline Icecream underneath the chocolate and all the way through. I would have appreciated If the Praline was Rippled with Vanilla to alleviate the Heaviness and with it being a 1000 calories, you will feel Full after this!

 
CALIPPO COMBO (STRAWBERRY AND VANILLA)
Wrapper Colour: One side White, the Other side Pink, the word Calippo is Spread over a Pink Splash as Strawberries fly from all Directions As it's Marketed for Children, HB's mascot, Max the Lion, Appears, seemingly punching an Errant Strawberry out of his way!
Calories: 440
Taste: The Calippo. A Sadistic Design of Ice Block in a Fragile Paper Tube. Stainer of Shirts, Ruiner of Countless Days outs. An Argument waiting to Happen!
Popping the seal, A Bouquet of Synthetic Strawberry like a Red car Air Freshener wafts through. Putting a finger on the foodstuff, because it doesn't like ice, gives me a surprise: it's made of Sorbet now! the light flavours picks me up after the heavy Praline. Will still ruin your Shirt if you are not careful!

Follow me on Twitter @RealEnli
PEACE!
X

POST IN RESPONSE TO A RECENT POLL I DID!

Last Monday, I got the news that Impact Wrestling and 5SHITE! (SORRY, 5Spike, no wait, I WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!) Will no longer be Televising The one night only ppvs. Granted the ONOs are 3 star shows AT BEST!, but i have fun writing them and you guys seem to like me frothing at the mouth, at the pre-recorded idiocy.

Impact, once more is rebranding itself. Lockdown is now Redemption, an Ironic name for a show ran by a company who seemingly look down on their massive UK And Irish fanbase. Not Helped by 5SPIKE Either, In May 5spike will have had tna/impact/gfw/impact television rights for a whole year! and in that whole year, we had....

• Someone hacking Jeremy Borash's account during the 1st week to insult fans. (It was found out when someone spelled colour in the English way, and Borash being a Anglophile who married an English woman, would know who we spell certain words!)
• 5spike also have the live televisual rights to BAMMA (British Association of Mixed Martial Arts) so Impact is moved to the following night, Saturday. 6 nights later THE VERY SAME EPISODE! is shown, and 5spike is tweeting about the the events of the episode that SHOULD be on the television, like they are actually happening~!
• Following that Debacle, 5spike went and rectified it...by showing a doublebill of the episode they should have shown at 9 and the show for that week at 11. People were up til 1am just the watched show they were supposed to watch..but hey Spike never showed wrestling before so it will never happen again...
• Until it did happen again! This time it's the June ONO that gets shown again...in July! The excuse was that 5Spike Runners saw the name "One Night Only"...AND TOOK IT LITERAL!
• When impact was rebranded into Global force, which had it's own 2 year history but lacked an international tv deal. From September of last year Impact's ONO was a 4 part series called Amped Anthology-matches from 2015, Gussied up with new commentary to make it look like it was filmed this year! (the real piss take was the new commentary saying then NXT champion Bobby Roode skipped the yellow brand with out Hunt-uh's permission to be in a match!) once again 5spike knowing nothing, tweeted along with viewers, the viewers being smarks, pointed out why their sky money should be wasted on matches they could watch, FOR FREE!, on Youtube? 5spike retorted "on the lines of if you dont want to watch the shows, maybe we should show them, It sounded like an empty threat. It wasn't. From January, One night only was now shown on a fucking app, first 5spike's now tna's own GWN app!
• Even the weekly show got hit. 5spike was moved an hour to 10pm to make way for the drama show SIX, i was a bit miffed but SIX has a fan base to I let that slide...until A Fortnight ago when both Impact and 6 Was pushed back an hour...TO SHOW A DOUBLE BILL OF THE A-TEAM! THAT'S RIGHT! A 30 YEAR SHOW IS MORE IMPORTANT NOT ONLY THAN WRESTLING, BUT 5SHITE ALSO SHAFTED THE SHOW THAT SHAFTED THE WRESTLING IN THE FIRST PLACE!

So that is why i did the poll. No one night only means i have nothing on freeview to right about waiting for the money to build for the next week ppv! Impact has a STRIKE AGAINST THEM FOR NOT SHOWING PPVS. i will buy the only magazine in Ireland tomorrow that has the tv listing for Spike, and if i still see impact at 11pm, next friday despite 6 being over that's a second strike. If Redemption is not shown live, or at least 3 days later. then i will have no choice but to Review 5star wrestling...remember those conditions had to be made first for be to even consider reviewing 5star wrestling!

THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT VOTED IT WAS A 78% LANDSLIDE FOR YES! WITH AN EQUAL 11% PERCENT FOR NO AND "ONLY IF DAN HINCKLES LEAVES!"

I will keep this in mind. when I launch my summer schedule. The ball is in Impact's and 5SHITES COURT! Only time will tell whether they drop it or night

PEACE!
EAMONN
AKA ENLI!