Originally this post working title was going to be called "The Reassuring Comfort of Predictable Booking". After all, The event prior to the main event was predictable, Charlotte returned to make sure at least one of the Women's Divisions is the Charlotte Division, Neither one of the Title matches changed hands, lest they take focus from the main event. But who predicted THAT person to win?
Women's Rumble 2025
#1 IYO SKY (DAMAGE CTRL)
#2 CHICKEN WAITRESS Liv Morgan (JUDGEMENT DAY)
And we start this event not only at 11pm Irish time, (Seriously, I was not expecting this show to be this early, I thought the 11pm start was a pre show!) but this show also started...with hair pulling!
#3 ROXANNE PEREZ (NXT)
Headscissors and a double DDT just in the opening minute. Perez may be Main roster bound after this showing.
#4 LYRA VALKARYA (WOMEN'S IC CHAMP)
Lyra suffers a near wardrobe malfunction and Perez takes advantage.
#5 JOBBER'S WIFE Chelsea Green (WOMEN'S US CHAMP)
And Chelsea starts slapping everyone, and this sets wrestling back 15 years.
#6 and #7 B-FAB (SD!)AND IVY NILE (AMERICAN MADE)
Suplex city, Bi-You know what, Never mind!
GRAMPA ZOEY (PURE FUSION COLLECTIVE)AND LASH LEGEND (NXT) Are next!
B-FAB Is eliminated.
#10 BIANCA BELAIR (WOMEN'S TAG CHAMPIONS)
Bianca did a spot, that she should never do again. Yes I'm taking about the four heel girls cooperating to do a repeated mounted turnbuckle, and flip spot, where a heel tried to attack Bianca, only for them to be crammed in a corner to be punched. It looked fake, and I'm sure other people have said the same.
#11 SHAYNA BAZSLER (PFC)
Bazsler shows off her MMA Prowess.
Lyra gets eliminated by Nile, who will probably challenge her at mania.
#12 BAYLEY (SD) AND 13 IS SONYA DEVILLE (PFC)
Deville's Advocate on Green and the Pure Fusion Collective are working together.
#14 MAXINE DUPREE (ALPHA ACADEMY)
Maxine gets a measure of Revenge on Nile, who gets Eliminated and then she's gone
#15 NAOMI (TAG CHAMPION)
With both Tag champions in, all 3 of P.F.C are eliminated.
#16 JAIDA PARKER (NXT)
Lash is eliminated.
#17 PIPER Who accidentally eliminated Green, despite being her Stooge!
ENTRANT #18 NATTIE, AND 19 NEW WWE SIGNING JORDYNNE GRACE!
Only a matter of time she calls one of the 3 brands her home.
Parker is Eliminated, Death valley driver by Grace on Piper. Naomi and Grace hug they know each other from TNA...Only for Bianca to get jealous! Ok a story brewing her.
#20 MICHIN ....who is not having a good night being whipped from pillar to post on her turn.
#21 ALEXA BLISS IS BACK IN AN ENTRANCE SO LONG, IT GOES INTO ZELINA VEGA'S ENTRANCE
Code Red by Zelina.
NEXT 3 ARE MRS SAMEFACE, STEPHANIE VAQUER AND HALL OF FAMER TRISH STRATUS.
Trish looks like she could make another go around.
#26 RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ (JUDGEMENT DAY)
NATTIE is Eliminated, so is Bliss.
#27 CHARLOTTE FLAIR (SD)
Flair chops to everyone. Michin and Piper are eliminated.
#28 GUILIA (NXT WOMEN'S CHAMPION)
IYO and GUILIA have unfinished Business it seems.
#29 POTATO JAX! (SD!)
Zelina is out, so is Sameface after trying to blindside Trish, who is then eliminated.
ENTRANT 30 NIKKI BELLA! (HOF)
Final Eliminations in order
Vaquer, Sky, Bianca, Naomi, Raquel and Liv all at once by Jax!
Guilia
Bayley
Nikki
Nia
WINNER OF THE WOMEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE: CHARLOTTE
Street Profits Screw MCMG out of the belts then attack DIY, because it was the champions who took them out. Looks like the tag belts are going to be lost in a multi team LAAAAZY BOOKING in April!
Cody Rhodes dahm near k*lls Kevin Owens to retain WWE undisputed championship! With Sami Zayn playing Pacifist by not acting to Seeing Owens' head being turned into a Human Easter Egg
Men's Rumble
#1 REY MYSTERIO
#2 PENTA
Don't lie! You wanted this to happen! You dreamt that this was going to be a match
#3 CHAD GABLE (AMERICAN MADE)
Gable is just a Lucha Whipping boy in this match!
#4 CARMELLO HAYES (SD)
Flying headscissors by Hayes on Penta, then a German Suplex.
#5 SANTOS ESCOBAR (LEGATO DEL PHANTASMA)
Santos does a 619 on Rey to boos, and he then does a Mexican Destroyer to Penta. All other four men Superkick Gable. And it's about to get worse for him
#6 BLOATIS (AMERICAN MADE)
Suplex on by Chad on Otis, who then Torture Rack.
#7 BRON BREAKKER (INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION)
Carmello and Santos is Eliminated.
#8 AKIRA TOZAWA
And he's taken out by Carmello,
So instead,.....
Instead we have the L***N P**L's CRIME Hydration minion
#8 iTouchMyMeat
BLOATIS and the literal Internet W**Ker are eliminated.
#9 SHEAMUS (RAW)
Irish Curse Backbreaker and a Brogue.
#10 JIMMY USO (SD)
Uso in the Wind is a stupid name for a move. Sure the Hardys may never return to WWE, but still changing their move names is not right, when they make no sense.
#11 ANDRADE (SD)
Meteora to Gable
#12 JACOB FATU (SD)
Double Samoan Drop, and Fatu is on a tear, Rey, Gable and Andrade Eliminated.
#13 KAISER IS ELIMINATED BY PENTA AFTER A MINUTE OF STALLING
#14 GOBSHITE FROM MTV AND SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS
NUMBER 15 IS TNA CHAMPION JOE HENDRY AND THEN ROMAN REIGNS
Miz, Sheamus and Hendry are eliminated. Bron Spears Roman to a massive reaction. Bron is eliminated after, but what a moment for a star on the up! Then Jimmy is eliminated.
#17 DREW MCINTYRE (RAW)
Drew and Jacob have a temporary alliance over their hatred of Roman.
#18 FINN BALOR (JUDGEMENT DAY)
Why debut new Music at this event of all places? When you know the crowd won't react if you are not a brand new star when they hear it?
#19 SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (US CHAMPION)
Penta is eliminated
#20 JEY USO (RAW)
Nakamura is Eliminated
#21 AJ STYLES (SD) (WITH HIS FACE MUSIC NO LESS!) Baseball Slide by Styles
#22 PROUD BOY BRAUN (RAW)
FATU is Eliminated and he's not a happy bunny
#23 JOHN CENA (LEGEND)
Braun and Finn are eliminated
#24 CM PUNK (RAW)
Now Roman, Cena and Punk see each other and have a Standoff, do you know what will make it better?
#25 SETH ROLLINS (RAW)
BINGO!
And Seth goes straight to Punk.
#26 DOMINIK (JUDGEMENT DAY)
#27 SAMI, 28 DAMIAN PRIEST (SD)
South of heaven to Dom, who gets Eliminated.
#29 LA KNIGHT (SD)
Sami is eliminated
#30 L***N P**L (RAW)
ORDER OF ELIMINATIONS
Drew
Priest
Knight
Styles
Rollins
Reigns,
Punk
SCUMBAG!
CENA?
WINNER OF THE MEN'S ROYAL RUMBLE: JEY USO? Who saw this coming? Jey must have sold more T-shirts to surpass the planned retirement of Cena but then you remember he's going to be in Toronto for quote "HIS LAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH" Not last elimination chamber PLE.
Well that's it!
Watching payperview on Netflix is a runaway success! Join me Next Monday for results of MLW Superfight!